A Republican, a Democrat, and a Hamas terrorist die and go to heaven

[miketx]

All three end up at the pearly gates and after looking them up in the book St. Peter sees that before they were in their latest occupations they were all in the construction business. So he turns to the terrorist and tells him that the gates are in dire need of repair and asks him to look them over and give him an estimate to repair them. He examines them and after a few minutes tells St. Peter he can fix them for 600 dollars. St. Peter asks him how he came to that number and the terrorist says, 200 for materials, 200 for labor and 200 for profit. St. Peter says he'll think about it.

St. Peter then asks the Republican to examine the gates and give him an estimate. He walks over and examines them for a good while and then tells St. Peter that he can fix them for 3000 dollars. St. Pete was surprised at this and asked the man how he came to that amount. The Republican says, St. Pete, When I did this for a living I only did top notch work and only used the best materials, and I figure 1000 for Materials, 1000 for labor, and 1000 for profit. St. Peter says he'll think about it.

Finally St. Peter asked the Democrat to give him an estimate and he immediately says 2600 dollars. St. Peter was surprised and asked him how could he estimate it so fast and not even look at the gates? Easy the Democrat says, a 1000 for you, a 1000 for me, and 600 to pay the towel head to fix it.

See, Democrats know how to run business!

 

[miketx]

Beat me too it. The joke is unbelievable because no Republican is ever going to heaven.

You shit stains have to spoil anything fun.

 

[Harry Dresden]

Republicans do not get to the pearly gates, they are straight to hell.

how do you know?.....you been there?...

 

[Harry Dresden]

Beat me too it. The joke is unbelievable because no Republican is ever going to heaven.

are you judging people?....

 

[Misaki]

It's true

Baghdad Burning

They did the necessary tests and analyses (mumblings about soil composition and water depth, expansion joints and girders) and came up with a number they tentatively put forward- $300,000. This included new plans and designs, raw materials (quite cheap in Iraq), labor, contractors, travel expenses, etc.

Let’s pretend my cousin is a dolt. Let’s pretend he hasn’t been working with bridges for over 17 years. Let’s pretend he didn’t work on replacing at least 20 of the 133 bridges damaged during the first Gulf War. Let’s pretend he’s wrong and the cost of rebuilding this bridge is four times the number they estimated- let’s pretend it will actually cost $1,200,000. Let’s just use our imagination.

A week later, the New Diyala Bridge contract was given to an American company. This particular company estimated the cost of rebuilding the bridge would be around- brace yourselves- $50,000,000 !!

 

[Who_Me?]

On a Monday morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
"Wake up son. It's time to got to school!"
"But mom, I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why."
"Well, the kids hate me, and the teachers hate me too!"
"That's no reason. Come now get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go?"
"Well for one you are 42 years old. And for another, you're the principal!".