Wyatt earp
Diamond Member
- Apr 21, 2012
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Q's army of insects almost decapitated the president, more updates as the story unfolds...
Following The Reg's recent exclusive coverage of the growing cicada threat to humanity, we can now reveal that US President Joe Biden narrowly missed being literally decapitated by a lone cicada assassin.
Biden was yesterday seen fighting off his hexapod assailant as he attempted to board Air Force One, before flying across the Atlantic to escape the Brood X swarm currently besieging Washington DC and much of the rest of America's Eastern Seaboard.
*Snip*
However, it seems US authorities pre-empted the insect insurrection and extracted Biden from the area on the pretext of a visit to the G7 conference being held in Cornwall, UK, before the cicada hivemind could gather enough wing-soldiers to fully overwhelm the potent but ultimately disarrayed human defences facing them.
One lone cicada zealot managed to get to the president and land on his neck before he boarded his plane, presumably in an attempt to bite off his head or cut his throat, but was subdued by a swat of the hand before it managed to do any damage.
www.google.com
Following The Reg's recent exclusive coverage of the growing cicada threat to humanity, we can now reveal that US President Joe Biden narrowly missed being literally decapitated by a lone cicada assassin.
Biden was yesterday seen fighting off his hexapod assailant as he attempted to board Air Force One, before flying across the Atlantic to escape the Brood X swarm currently besieging Washington DC and much of the rest of America's Eastern Seaboard.
*Snip*
However, it seems US authorities pre-empted the insect insurrection and extracted Biden from the area on the pretext of a visit to the G7 conference being held in Cornwall, UK, before the cicada hivemind could gather enough wing-soldiers to fully overwhelm the potent but ultimately disarrayed human defences facing them.
One lone cicada zealot managed to get to the president and land on his neck before he boarded his plane, presumably in an attempt to bite off his head or cut his throat, but was subdued by a swat of the hand before it managed to do any damage.
Prez Biden narrowly escapes cicada assassination attempt, hunkers down in Cornwall
Brood X vents frustration at missed opportunity on free press, random Ohio drivers
www.google.com
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