- Sep 22, 2013
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This is a horror-parody story about a Easter demon eerily called the Bunnyman. Happy Easter USMB,
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A group of relatively young Americans went exploring the dense forest of the Pine Barrens in New Jersey (USA) to seek out a costumed serial-killer lurking there. The Americans were two women and a man, and the psycho they're stalking is known eerily as the Bunnyman. The Bunnyman wears gloves often and wields a chainsaw and stalks the forests and attacks campers and travelers and rangers, especially during Easter.
AMERICAN #1 (Fiona): This model-turned-writer wants to discover if this Easter psycho Bunnyman really is the new Manson.
AMERICAN #2 (Isaac): This U-Chicago literature and psychology professor thinks Bunnyman is a parody used to make fun at cops!
AMERICAN #3 (Susan): This waitress from Arizona is eager to learn if the Bunnyman is like the dark Alfred Hitchcock for Easter!
The Pine Barrens are known to be a quite dense and foreboding forest in the USA. The trees and greenery are quite thick and therefore get in the way of clear vision. This is therefore the perfect opportunity for the Bunnyman to create an evil haven for his arena of human hunting. The three young Americans, our valiant protagonists, who seek out this deranged Bunnyman, intend to prowl through the Pine Barrens in the off-chance their crossbow weaponry is sufficient to stop the Bunnyman Easter psycho in his woodsy tracks.
FIONA: I brought a purple-fairy photo charm for good luck!
ISAAC: Maybe it'll help us see better visions of innocence.
SUSAN: I think this Bunnyman is heavier than he seems.
Finally, the three young American explorer-adventurers stumble upon a strange-looking stone cabin in the deep part of the Pine Barrens. They go roaming inside and come face-to-face with the Bunnyman! This Easter psycho, decked out in a rabbit costume, is wielding a terrifying electronic chainsaw, man! The bunny turns the weapon on, sending the three Americans to flee into the woods, hoping to lure him outside while they're spread out so they can get clear shots at him with their handy-dandy Dartmouth crossbows.
BUNNYMAN: Damn, those pesky Americans caught me in those woods!
RANGER: How'd they catch you, Bunnyman?
BUNNYMAN: They disarmed me with their wretched crossbows, man!
RANGER: What's your intention out there, anyways, Bunnyman?
BUNNYMAN: I just wanted to poke fun at California criminality!
RANGER: You wanted to erect East Coast psychosis in the forest?
BUNNYMAN: Why'd Californians have all the fun, man?
Bunnyman spent his incarceration years watching Dallas on DVD in his solitary confinement area of the criminal insanity center in New Jersey (USA). He became such a fan of Dallas that when questioned, he'd say things like, "American cowboys and oil-men love dollars."
Bunnyman was no average bunny. He's a real Easter sociopath who for awhile made it feel like the Pine Barrens was host to the most eerie evil the East Coast had seen since, well, honestly, the days of Charles Manson in the USA. Yes, the Bunnyman is forever incarcerated, but what did he teach us about the dogma of Easter?
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
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A group of relatively young Americans went exploring the dense forest of the Pine Barrens in New Jersey (USA) to seek out a costumed serial-killer lurking there. The Americans were two women and a man, and the psycho they're stalking is known eerily as the Bunnyman. The Bunnyman wears gloves often and wields a chainsaw and stalks the forests and attacks campers and travelers and rangers, especially during Easter.
AMERICAN #1 (Fiona): This model-turned-writer wants to discover if this Easter psycho Bunnyman really is the new Manson.
AMERICAN #2 (Isaac): This U-Chicago literature and psychology professor thinks Bunnyman is a parody used to make fun at cops!
AMERICAN #3 (Susan): This waitress from Arizona is eager to learn if the Bunnyman is like the dark Alfred Hitchcock for Easter!
The Pine Barrens are known to be a quite dense and foreboding forest in the USA. The trees and greenery are quite thick and therefore get in the way of clear vision. This is therefore the perfect opportunity for the Bunnyman to create an evil haven for his arena of human hunting. The three young Americans, our valiant protagonists, who seek out this deranged Bunnyman, intend to prowl through the Pine Barrens in the off-chance their crossbow weaponry is sufficient to stop the Bunnyman Easter psycho in his woodsy tracks.
FIONA: I brought a purple-fairy photo charm for good luck!
ISAAC: Maybe it'll help us see better visions of innocence.
SUSAN: I think this Bunnyman is heavier than he seems.
Finally, the three young American explorer-adventurers stumble upon a strange-looking stone cabin in the deep part of the Pine Barrens. They go roaming inside and come face-to-face with the Bunnyman! This Easter psycho, decked out in a rabbit costume, is wielding a terrifying electronic chainsaw, man! The bunny turns the weapon on, sending the three Americans to flee into the woods, hoping to lure him outside while they're spread out so they can get clear shots at him with their handy-dandy Dartmouth crossbows.
BUNNYMAN: Damn, those pesky Americans caught me in those woods!
RANGER: How'd they catch you, Bunnyman?
BUNNYMAN: They disarmed me with their wretched crossbows, man!
RANGER: What's your intention out there, anyways, Bunnyman?
BUNNYMAN: I just wanted to poke fun at California criminality!
RANGER: You wanted to erect East Coast psychosis in the forest?
BUNNYMAN: Why'd Californians have all the fun, man?
Bunnyman spent his incarceration years watching Dallas on DVD in his solitary confinement area of the criminal insanity center in New Jersey (USA). He became such a fan of Dallas that when questioned, he'd say things like, "American cowboys and oil-men love dollars."
Bunnyman was no average bunny. He's a real Easter sociopath who for awhile made it feel like the Pine Barrens was host to the most eerie evil the East Coast had seen since, well, honestly, the days of Charles Manson in the USA. Yes, the Bunnyman is forever incarcerated, but what did he teach us about the dogma of Easter?
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
