Blackrook
Diamond Member
- Jun 20, 2014
- 22,133
- 12,169
- 1,405
Like g5000, I came from a violent home. I went to private secular schools K-8, then attended a Catholic high school. Looking back, I was privileged, except for the abuse. My parents were both highly paid college professors so we always had a big home, and there was never a problem paying the bills.
But we were miserable. My mother was bipolar and my parents fought almost every night, with mostly my mother screaming at my father. During these fights, I'd lay awake scared because at any moment my mother might come into my room and slap me around. She never put bruises on me or hurt me seriously, but I still have not recovered from this abuse, and I'm still in therapy. Also I inherited bipolarism from my mother, which is a horrible disease and often fatal, because many of commit suicide.
My mother killed herself when I was 18. I didn't feel bad at the time, but since then I'm plagued by the vision of her in hell, behind bars and begging me to help her out. I pray for her, and every time I go to church I put $1 in the box and light a candle for her.
My parents were both devout Catholics and raised me that way. Going to a Catholic high school reinforced my Catholicism. But I was not an enthusiastic believer, and as soon as I was old enough that my father couldn't force me, I stopped attending Mass. And now, since my divorce, I don't go to Mass very often. But while we were raising our three children, my wife and I made sure we went to Mass every Sunday.
In the third year of law school, I decided to figure out for myself whether Catholicism was true. I read everything written by C.S. Lewis, and when I was done he'd convinced me that Christianity was true, but his conclusion was he was only trying to get into the hallway, we had to choose which room to go into (choose a denomination).
I read a book by Scott Hahn called Rome Sweet Home. He was a Protestant minister who's study of Catholicism made him realize that Catholicism was the One True Church. He convinced me.
My story is much less dramatic than g5000, and reading it made me realize that though I've suffered, many people have suffered more. I worried about money for much of my life, but I was never in a situation where there wasn't enough food to eat, or a place to live. Bipolarism has made me deeply depressed, and for three years it incapicitated me. But now, my medication is balanced and I rarely feel depression anymore.
I've had three occasions where I felt God has contacted me. I don't want to go into details, but my faith is strengthened by these direct experiences. They are, of course, subjective so there's no way I can prove they happened.
My biggest battle is with anger. For many years I was angry all the time. I was very strict with my daughters, and only after my landlady intervened did I realize I was verbally abusing them. I'd promised myself never to physically abuse them, but for some reason didn't think yelling at my kids was a problem. Thank God for my landlady, she opened my eyes.
While I don't attend Mass that often, I am constantly praying, usually when I'm feeling stress. I pray, "God, please get me through today." It's similar to "Give us our daily bread," so I think it's a worthy enough prayer. I wish I prayed more to thank God for his blessings, and I'll try to work on that.
I worry I'm not doing enough for God. I have a very stressful job, and when the day's over I have no energy to do anything but watch TV. My weekends are my relax time, which I need. I could contribute money to the Church or a charity, but I don't. So this is something I can work on, figuring out what I can do to make that nagging voice go away.
Anyway, that's my testimony. I feel I have much room for improvement but I've come a long way since I had all this anger. I still yell when I'm alone and frustrated with my computer or because I've mislaid something. But overall, I'm much more laid back than I used to be.
But we were miserable. My mother was bipolar and my parents fought almost every night, with mostly my mother screaming at my father. During these fights, I'd lay awake scared because at any moment my mother might come into my room and slap me around. She never put bruises on me or hurt me seriously, but I still have not recovered from this abuse, and I'm still in therapy. Also I inherited bipolarism from my mother, which is a horrible disease and often fatal, because many of commit suicide.
My mother killed herself when I was 18. I didn't feel bad at the time, but since then I'm plagued by the vision of her in hell, behind bars and begging me to help her out. I pray for her, and every time I go to church I put $1 in the box and light a candle for her.
My parents were both devout Catholics and raised me that way. Going to a Catholic high school reinforced my Catholicism. But I was not an enthusiastic believer, and as soon as I was old enough that my father couldn't force me, I stopped attending Mass. And now, since my divorce, I don't go to Mass very often. But while we were raising our three children, my wife and I made sure we went to Mass every Sunday.
In the third year of law school, I decided to figure out for myself whether Catholicism was true. I read everything written by C.S. Lewis, and when I was done he'd convinced me that Christianity was true, but his conclusion was he was only trying to get into the hallway, we had to choose which room to go into (choose a denomination).
I read a book by Scott Hahn called Rome Sweet Home. He was a Protestant minister who's study of Catholicism made him realize that Catholicism was the One True Church. He convinced me.
My story is much less dramatic than g5000, and reading it made me realize that though I've suffered, many people have suffered more. I worried about money for much of my life, but I was never in a situation where there wasn't enough food to eat, or a place to live. Bipolarism has made me deeply depressed, and for three years it incapicitated me. But now, my medication is balanced and I rarely feel depression anymore.
I've had three occasions where I felt God has contacted me. I don't want to go into details, but my faith is strengthened by these direct experiences. They are, of course, subjective so there's no way I can prove they happened.
My biggest battle is with anger. For many years I was angry all the time. I was very strict with my daughters, and only after my landlady intervened did I realize I was verbally abusing them. I'd promised myself never to physically abuse them, but for some reason didn't think yelling at my kids was a problem. Thank God for my landlady, she opened my eyes.
While I don't attend Mass that often, I am constantly praying, usually when I'm feeling stress. I pray, "God, please get me through today." It's similar to "Give us our daily bread," so I think it's a worthy enough prayer. I wish I prayed more to thank God for his blessings, and I'll try to work on that.
I worry I'm not doing enough for God. I have a very stressful job, and when the day's over I have no energy to do anything but watch TV. My weekends are my relax time, which I need. I could contribute money to the Church or a charity, but I don't. So this is something I can work on, figuring out what I can do to make that nagging voice go away.
Anyway, that's my testimony. I feel I have much room for improvement but I've come a long way since I had all this anger. I still yell when I'm alone and frustrated with my computer or because I've mislaid something. But overall, I'm much more laid back than I used to be.
