McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024

[Doc7505]

McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024​

McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024

U.S. — Fast-food chain McDonald's has officially surpassed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the number of shooters apprehended in 2024.

babylonbee.com

11 Dec 2024

U.S. — Fast-food chain McDonald's has officially surpassed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the number of shooters apprehended in 2024.
Despite having thousands of highly trained agents tasked with stopping violent mass shooters, the entirety of the FBI was bested by a single part-time McDonald's cashier.
"Not again," sighed Director Wray, handing over his resignation. "I don't know how McDonald's does it. How did they beat us at arresting shooters, all while making perfectly crispy fries, a solid breakfast, and surprisingly good coffee? We just can't compete with the golden arches."
In light of this development, Congress has announced all FBI agents will be required to do an apprenticeship at McDonald's to hone their craft. "If you can't beat them, join them," said Congressmen Rand Paul, explaining the new measure. "Every agent will spend time working the drive-through and cashier lines as we work to bring the FBI up to McDonald's level. They will learn how to catch bad guys and cook delicious nuggets. It's a no-brainer."
At publishing time, the DOGE had announced to save costs, it will simply replace all FBI agents with current McDonald's cashiers.

Commentary:
Catching criminals will be included as part of their duties along with proficiency cooking hamburgers, nuggets, fries, coffee and Mocha's . Maybe they could get a bonus for each perpetrator they catch.
Looks like they’ve been doing a great job.

 

[sealybobo]

McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024​

McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024

U.S. — Fast-food chain McDonald's has officially surpassed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the number of shooters apprehended in 2024.

babylonbee.com

11 Dec 2024

U.S. — Fast-food chain McDonald's has officially surpassed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the number of shooters apprehended in 2024.
Despite having thousands of highly trained agents tasked with stopping violent mass shooters, the entirety of the FBI was bested by a single part-time McDonald's cashier.
"Not again," sighed Director Wray, handing over his resignation. "I don't know how McDonald's does it. How did they beat us at arresting shooters, all while making perfectly crispy fries, a solid breakfast, and surprisingly good coffee? We just can't compete with the golden arches."
In light of this development, Congress has announced all FBI agents will be required to do an apprenticeship at McDonald's to hone their craft. "If you can't beat them, join them," said Congressmen Rand Paul, explaining the new measure. "Every agent will spend time working the drive-through and cashier lines as we work to bring the FBI up to McDonald's level. They will learn how to catch bad guys and cook delicious nuggets. It's a no-brainer."
At publishing time, the DOGE had announced to save costs, it will simply replace all FBI agents with current McDonald's cashiers.

Commentary:
Catching criminals will be included as part of their duties along with proficiency cooking hamburgers, nuggets, fries, coffee and Mocha's . Maybe they could get a bonus for each perpetrator they catch.
Looks like they’ve been doing a great job.

How competent do you think the fbi will be under kash Patel?

 

[shockedcanadian]

McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024​

McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024

U.S. — Fast-food chain McDonald's has officially surpassed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the number of shooters apprehended in 2024.

babylonbee.com

11 Dec 2024

U.S. — Fast-food chain McDonald's has officially surpassed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the number of shooters apprehended in 2024.
Despite having thousands of highly trained agents tasked with stopping violent mass shooters, the entirety of the FBI was bested by a single part-time McDonald's cashier.
"Not again," sighed Director Wray, handing over his resignation. "I don't know how McDonald's does it. How did they beat us at arresting shooters, all while making perfectly crispy fries, a solid breakfast, and surprisingly good coffee? We just can't compete with the golden arches."
In light of this development, Congress has announced all FBI agents will be required to do an apprenticeship at McDonald's to hone their craft. "If you can't beat them, join them," said Congressmen Rand Paul, explaining the new measure. "Every agent will spend time working the drive-through and cashier lines as we work to bring the FBI up to McDonald's level. They will learn how to catch bad guys and cook delicious nuggets. It's a no-brainer."
At publishing time, the DOGE had announced to save costs, it will simply replace all FBI agents with current McDonald's cashiers.

Commentary:
Catching criminals will be included as part of their duties along with proficiency cooking hamburgers, nuggets, fries, coffee and Mocha's . Maybe they could get a bonus for each perpetrator they catch.
Looks like they’ve been doing a great job.

 

[Concerned American]

McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024​

McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024

U.S. — Fast-food chain McDonald's has officially surpassed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the number of shooters apprehended in 2024.

babylonbee.com

11 Dec 2024

U.S. — Fast-food chain McDonald's has officially surpassed the Federal Bureau of Investigation in the number of shooters apprehended in 2024.
Despite having thousands of highly trained agents tasked with stopping violent mass shooters, the entirety of the FBI was bested by a single part-time McDonald's cashier.
"Not again," sighed Director Wray, handing over his resignation. "I don't know how McDonald's does it. How did they beat us at arresting shooters, all while making perfectly crispy fries, a solid breakfast, and surprisingly good coffee? We just can't compete with the golden arches."
In light of this development, Congress has announced all FBI agents will be required to do an apprenticeship at McDonald's to hone their craft. "If you can't beat them, join them," said Congressmen Rand Paul, explaining the new measure. "Every agent will spend time working the drive-through and cashier lines as we work to bring the FBI up to McDonald's level. They will learn how to catch bad guys and cook delicious nuggets. It's a no-brainer."
At publishing time, the DOGE had announced to save costs, it will simply replace all FBI agents with current McDonald's cashiers.

Commentary:
Catching criminals will be included as part of their duties along with proficiency cooking hamburgers, nuggets, fries, coffee and Mocha's . Maybe they could get a bonus for each perpetrator they catch.
Looks like they’ve been doing a great job.

WTH, if its good enough for Trump, why not the FBI?

 

[westwall]

How competent do you think the fbi will be under kash Patel?

View attachment 1052953

More.

 

[BackAgain]

How competent do you think the fbi will be under kash Patel?

View attachment 1052953

It will finally become competent

and a ton less subject to partisan political behavior.

 

[two_iron]

You give the shitlibs the keys for a while and this place becomes a 3rd-world shithole.

Actually, correction, they stole the keys, but the point is still valid.

 

[yidnar]

How competent do you think the fbi will be under kash Patel?

View attachment 1052953

he's got creds ...

Kash Patel - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[JGalt]

How competent do you think the fbi will be under kash Patel?

View attachment 1052953

Why would it not be?

 

[toobfreak]

McDonald’s Surpasses FBI In Number Of Shooters Apprehended In 2024​

Agent 99 7/8ths.

Coke dispenser fixed.
No fish sandwich fries before its time.

 

[sealybobo]

It will finally become competent

and a ton less subject to partisan political behavior.

Bullshit. He has no experience. He's going to lose a lot of people who have experience.

Watch, this will be like when we put Bush in charge and he got hit on 911.

Or when Katrina hit and Bush put his buddy the horse trainer in charge of FEMA.

 

[BackAgain]

Bullshit. He has no experience. He's going to lose a lot of people who have experience.

Watch, this will be like when we put Bush in charge and he got hit on 911.

Or when Katrina hit and Bush put his buddy the horse trainer in charge of FEMA.

The old guard always complains and bitches and moans and groans and cries whenever they are confronted with change for the better.

This explains your tears.

 

[sealybobo]

The old guard always complains and bitches and moans and groans and cries whenever they are confronted with change for the better.

This explains your tears.

Huh? I'm just remembering when Bush appointed friends instead of qualified people and how it bit us in the ass during Katrina.

A horse salesman in charge of FEMA.

This is just like Trump's picks. None of them are qualified to run the departments the are in charge of. Their only qualification is hating that department and wanting to make cuts to it.

 

[BackAgain]

Huh? I'm just remembering when Bush appointed friends instead of qualified people and how it bit us in the ass during Katrina.

A horse salesman in charge of FEMA.

This is just like Trump's picks. None of them are qualified to run the departments the are in charge of. Their only qualification is hating that department and wanting to make cuts to it.

Not even a remotely valid comparison.

Keep swinging. Miss harder.

 

[Foxfyre]

How competent do you think the fbi will be under kash Patel?

View attachment 1052953

A far sight more competent, efficient, effective, and useful than they have been under Wray. It would be nice seeing them do their jobs again instead of putting most of the time and efforts into taking out the political opponents of the Demcorats.

 

[sealybobo]

Not even a remotely valid comparison.

Keep swinging. Miss harder.

None of them are qualified to run the departments they are in charge of. If I worked for the department of education, FBI, or any of those organizations I would put my 2 week notice in this coming Monday. Exactly 2 weeks from Jan 6th. Let Trump and Elon find enough competent people to run these government organizations. And let people who voted Republican suffer from them being inept.

 

[sealybobo]

A far sight more competent, efficient, effective, and useful than they have been under Wray. It would be nice seeing them do their jobs again instead of putting most of the time and efforts into taking out the political opponents of the Demcorats.

It wasn't like they weren't doing their jobs because they were too busy keeping tabs on all of Trump's criminal activities.

 

[Foxfyre]

It wasn't like they weren't doing their jobs because they were too busy keeping tabs on all of Trump's criminal activities.

What criminal activities? Name them. And show your evidence for how they were criminal.

 

[BackAgain]

None of them are qualified to run the departments they are in charge of. If I worked for the department of education, FBI, or any of those organizations I would put my 2 week notice in this coming Monday. Exactly 2 weeks from Jan 6th. Let Trump and Elon find enough competent people to run these government organizations. And let people who voted Republican suffer from them being inept.

Repeating your opinions doesn’t confirm or corroborate any of them.

 

[sealybobo]

What criminal activities? Name them. And show your evidence for how they were criminal.

Before the election I might have played along but not now. You won. As far as I'm concerned, he broke no laws. Those calls to Ukraine and Georgia were perfect. Nothing shady about what he was doing with those top secret documents. Jan 6 was a day of love. You're right. LOL