- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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Here's a fun sports-marketing spoof vignette inspired by CB4. Thanks for reading,
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"The Colorado Avalanche were destroying everyone in their field. They're slated to take the Cup this year, and it's thanks to a new athlete from Algeria named Amlan Satan."
"Of course, no minority-athlete tale comes without a hitch. The good people of Colorado (USA) were concerned their modern rendition of Eric Lindros (Philly Flyers) was in fact an ethnic minority, despite his swifted gifts at ice-hockey. Amlan insisted his stardom and talent reflected NHL fanfare and not race politics, however."
"Of course, Amlan's girlfriend Charlize was worried all this pluralism press in the NHL might put her beau from Algeria in great peril. She wondered if he'd receive awful death-letters from fanatics paranoid about immigration woes and multiculturalism controversy. She just wanted to see Amlan excel in the NHL."
PRESS: Are you happy with Charlize in Colorado, Satan?
AMLAN: We're thrilled the Avalanche are surpassing everyone!
PRESS: Are you slated to win all honors in the Cup finals?
AMLAN: Of course!
PRESS: Well, what's next after all this celebrity, man?
AMLAN: Disneyland, of course!
PRESS: Are you worried about death-threats, Amlan?
AMLAN: Perhaps!
PRESS: You're not the first minority sports-celeb, ya know?
AMLAN: Sure; there's Jackie Robinson, Mike Tyson, Mike Chang, and Gabriela Sabatini, dudes!
PRESS: We're sure Charlize agrees with you, Satan.
"Would this NHL press intrigue result in greater controversy for the now-endorsed Algerian ice-hockey star Amlan Satan? There were gossip chats that Amlan was a pickpocket growing up in Algeria, but now he's an NHL sensation. Would this mean more media lights for the NHL or multiculturalism dilemmas? Where's the pizza ad, friends?"
"The key to sports-marketing for democracy is capital hospitality, featuring feathers from athletes from anywhere."
"No old man sitting at home watching sports on TV will deny he misses the days of Bart Starr and Unitas and Bobby Orr. However, sports and marketing have changed so radically that everyone wants to know...where's the beef?"
ALGERIAN CRITIC: I know Amlan from childhood; he's nothing but an Algerian street-rat...and pickpocket!
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
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"The Colorado Avalanche were destroying everyone in their field. They're slated to take the Cup this year, and it's thanks to a new athlete from Algeria named Amlan Satan."
"Of course, no minority-athlete tale comes without a hitch. The good people of Colorado (USA) were concerned their modern rendition of Eric Lindros (Philly Flyers) was in fact an ethnic minority, despite his swifted gifts at ice-hockey. Amlan insisted his stardom and talent reflected NHL fanfare and not race politics, however."
"Of course, Amlan's girlfriend Charlize was worried all this pluralism press in the NHL might put her beau from Algeria in great peril. She wondered if he'd receive awful death-letters from fanatics paranoid about immigration woes and multiculturalism controversy. She just wanted to see Amlan excel in the NHL."
PRESS: Are you happy with Charlize in Colorado, Satan?
AMLAN: We're thrilled the Avalanche are surpassing everyone!
PRESS: Are you slated to win all honors in the Cup finals?
AMLAN: Of course!
PRESS: Well, what's next after all this celebrity, man?
AMLAN: Disneyland, of course!
PRESS: Are you worried about death-threats, Amlan?
AMLAN: Perhaps!
PRESS: You're not the first minority sports-celeb, ya know?
AMLAN: Sure; there's Jackie Robinson, Mike Tyson, Mike Chang, and Gabriela Sabatini, dudes!
PRESS: We're sure Charlize agrees with you, Satan.
"Would this NHL press intrigue result in greater controversy for the now-endorsed Algerian ice-hockey star Amlan Satan? There were gossip chats that Amlan was a pickpocket growing up in Algeria, but now he's an NHL sensation. Would this mean more media lights for the NHL or multiculturalism dilemmas? Where's the pizza ad, friends?"
"The key to sports-marketing for democracy is capital hospitality, featuring feathers from athletes from anywhere."
"No old man sitting at home watching sports on TV will deny he misses the days of Bart Starr and Unitas and Bobby Orr. However, sports and marketing have changed so radically that everyone wants to know...where's the beef?"
ALGERIAN CRITIC: I know Amlan from childhood; he's nothing but an Algerian street-rat...and pickpocket!
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
