miketx
Diamond Member
- Dec 25, 2015
- 121,556
- 70,504
- 2,645
- Banned
- #1
Parked in his 2001 CV cruiser, officer friendly hid right over the hill in the middle of the longest school zone ever created by a morally bankrupt school board. Right behind the shrubs. He had is state of the art laser pointed right at the crest of the hill, waiting for Joe six pack to appear, doing more than the 20 miles per hour legally allowed. He loved his job. He waited patiently for the speeder he knew would come, as he eyed the young boys on the middle school playground.
2 minutes later a 2001 Plymouth Voyager crested the hill, and our hero recorded the speed at 23 miles per hour. Bingo! As the hapless driver passed, Dave turned on the lights and slid smoothly into the right lane, right behind the scoff law pukes' in the van.
"Rock and roll," he said as he put the pedal to the metal of his cruiser. The 4.6 liter mutli sequential fuel injected V8 roared to life as he closed to within inches of the van.
"That's right, turn on your blinker and slowly pull over, like that makes any difference now, azzwipe!", officer friendly glowered.
The van rolled to a stop and he ran the plates. No warrants on these two pukes. "Oh well, we can't have our cake and eat it to."
The officer got out of the car, smoothed the front of his starched uniform shirt and pants, that fit like a glove. Light gray aviator glasses covered his black, lifeless eyes, as he approached his two helpless victims. He could see the driver rolling down his window, and could feel the smart crunch of gravel beneath his highly polished jack boots.
"Morning officer. what's the problem?"
Officer friendly wasted no time in drawing his baton and smacking the insolent puke about the head three times, in rapid succession.
"Stop stop," he screamed! "Here's my license officer!"
"That's better punk," he hissed, in his best Dirty Harry imitation to date. "I'm afraid you were speeding boy. 23 in a twenty, and your gonna get a ticket!"
"But officer", he pleaded, "My speedometer was right on twenty!"
Our hero let the puke have a few more whacks about the head with his baton.
"Ok, ok! Please stop hitting me. I was speeding."
"That's better", said our hero as he wrote out the ticket. After securing the pukes signature, he walked around to the passenger side door and motioned for the passenger to roll down his window.
"Yes sir officer", the passenger politely said.
Officer friendly pulled out the baton and beat this poor sobbing fellow about the head four or five times before stopping.
"What was that for?", yelled his helpless victim.
"I was just granting you your wish boy", he snarled!
"What are you talking about? Your crazy", the beaten and bloodied citizen cried!
"I can just hear it now", grinned the officer. "As soon as your buddy drives of, you'll say, I WISH THAT DAMMED COP HAD HIT ME LIKE THAT!"
Our hero returns to his car, swigs down and Old Milwaukee beer, throws the empty out the window, lights up a Marlboro and Chuckles, "You know, it just don't get any better than this!"
2 minutes later a 2001 Plymouth Voyager crested the hill, and our hero recorded the speed at 23 miles per hour. Bingo! As the hapless driver passed, Dave turned on the lights and slid smoothly into the right lane, right behind the scoff law pukes' in the van.
"Rock and roll," he said as he put the pedal to the metal of his cruiser. The 4.6 liter mutli sequential fuel injected V8 roared to life as he closed to within inches of the van.
"That's right, turn on your blinker and slowly pull over, like that makes any difference now, azzwipe!", officer friendly glowered.
The van rolled to a stop and he ran the plates. No warrants on these two pukes. "Oh well, we can't have our cake and eat it to."
The officer got out of the car, smoothed the front of his starched uniform shirt and pants, that fit like a glove. Light gray aviator glasses covered his black, lifeless eyes, as he approached his two helpless victims. He could see the driver rolling down his window, and could feel the smart crunch of gravel beneath his highly polished jack boots.
"Morning officer. what's the problem?"
Officer friendly wasted no time in drawing his baton and smacking the insolent puke about the head three times, in rapid succession.
"Stop stop," he screamed! "Here's my license officer!"
"That's better punk," he hissed, in his best Dirty Harry imitation to date. "I'm afraid you were speeding boy. 23 in a twenty, and your gonna get a ticket!"
"But officer", he pleaded, "My speedometer was right on twenty!"
Our hero let the puke have a few more whacks about the head with his baton.
"Ok, ok! Please stop hitting me. I was speeding."
"That's better", said our hero as he wrote out the ticket. After securing the pukes signature, he walked around to the passenger side door and motioned for the passenger to roll down his window.
"Yes sir officer", the passenger politely said.
Officer friendly pulled out the baton and beat this poor sobbing fellow about the head four or five times before stopping.
"What was that for?", yelled his helpless victim.
"I was just granting you your wish boy", he snarled!
"What are you talking about? Your crazy", the beaten and bloodied citizen cried!
"I can just hear it now", grinned the officer. "As soon as your buddy drives of, you'll say, I WISH THAT DAMMED COP HAD HIT ME LIKE THAT!"
Our hero returns to his car, swigs down and Old Milwaukee beer, throws the empty out the window, lights up a Marlboro and Chuckles, "You know, it just don't get any better than this!"
