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Russia Says It Will Agree To Ceasefire As Soon As It’s Done Conquering Ukraine
Politics·Mar 14, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
MOSCOW — In an encouraging development for the seemingly deadlocked negotiations, Russia now says that it would agree to a ceasefire as soon as it is done conquering the rest of Ukraine.
Experts had been skeptical regarding the prospects of any lasting peace agreement after previous discussions had proven unsuccessful, but said Russia's commitment to ending hostilities as soon as it finishes defeating Ukraine was promising.
"We are ready for a ceasefire on only one condition," said Vladimir Putin. "And that little teeny tiny condition is that we finish conquering the rest of Ukraine. Then once that is done, I think we can have a good, lasting ceasefire."
Reports that Russian leaders were amenable to a ceasefire came after three years of grueling combat during which the front lines became static, devolving into a war of attrition with high casualties on both sides. "We are certainly willing to discuss bringing this conflict to an end," Putin said. "After we win."
It was reportedly during intense talks with President Donald Trump's special envoy, Steve Witkoff, that the Russians began to see a path forward. "We can envision reaching a peaceful resolution as soon as we annihilate them," one Russian official was quoted as saying.
At publishing time, there were new reports that Russia was massing all of its tanks and infantry in the Kursk region, further signaling that it was willing to do whatever was necessary to reach a ceasefire.
Politics·Mar 14, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
MOSCOW — In an encouraging development for the seemingly deadlocked negotiations, Russia now says that it would agree to a ceasefire as soon as it is done conquering the rest of Ukraine.
Experts had been skeptical regarding the prospects of any lasting peace agreement after previous discussions had proven unsuccessful, but said Russia's commitment to ending hostilities as soon as it finishes defeating Ukraine was promising.
"We are ready for a ceasefire on only one condition," said Vladimir Putin. "And that little teeny tiny condition is that we finish conquering the rest of Ukraine. Then once that is done, I think we can have a good, lasting ceasefire."
Reports that Russian leaders were amenable to a ceasefire came after three years of grueling combat during which the front lines became static, devolving into a war of attrition with high casualties on both sides. "We are certainly willing to discuss bringing this conflict to an end," Putin said. "After we win."
It was reportedly during intense talks with President Donald Trump's special envoy, Steve Witkoff, that the Russians began to see a path forward. "We can envision reaching a peaceful resolution as soon as we annihilate them," one Russian official was quoted as saying.
At publishing time, there were new reports that Russia was massing all of its tanks and infantry in the Kursk region, further signaling that it was willing to do whatever was necessary to reach a ceasefire.
