Texas Governor Signs Executive Order Donating City Of Austin To California

The Purge

Platinum Member
Aug 16, 2018
17,881
7,852
400
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/11/2021 | Babylon Bee

AUSTIN, TX—Texas Governor Greg Abbott signed an executive order today donating the city of Austin and all its citizens to California. A move long in the making, the order gives all million citizens back to California, since most of them came from there anyway.

"I hereby declare Austin and all the hippy yuppie Democrats in this God-forsaken town are now citizens of California," Abbott said at the signing to loud cheering and applause. "Good riddance, and may God have mercy on your souls. Texas don't want you, and I sure as heck don't want you."

"This is long overdue." Many onlookers shot pistols into the air and shotgunned cans of Shiner Bock at the announcement. They all then went to Whataburger to celebrate.

Abbott is moving the capital of Texas out of Austin as part of the executive action and is considering nearby towns like Flying Mosquito, Texas, and Sweltering Plains, Texas, as the new capital.

Governor Newsom of California happily accepted the gift, as he has been needing more people to make up for all those who fled during his short time in office.

------------------

New York Times needs to fact check this one.....sounds suspiciously real....
 
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/11/2021 | Babylon Bee

AUSTIN, TX—Texas Governor Greg Abbott signed an executive order today donating the city of Austin and all its citizens to California. A move long in the making, the order gives all million citizens back to California, since most of them came from there anyway.

"I hereby declare Austin and all the hippy yuppie Democrats in this God-forsaken town are now citizens of California," Abbott said at the signing to loud cheering and applause. "Good riddance, and may God have mercy on your souls. Texas don't want you, and I sure as heck don't want you."

"This is long overdue." Many onlookers shot pistols into the air and shotgunned cans of Shiner Bock at the announcement. They all then went to Whataburger to celebrate.

Abbott is moving the capital of Texas out of Austin as part of the executive action and is considering nearby towns like Flying Mosquito, Texas, and Sweltering Plains, Texas, as the new capital.

Governor Newsom of California happily accepted the gift, as he has been needing more people to make up for all those who fled during his short time in office.

------------------

New York Times needs to fact check this one.....sounds suspiciously real....
How about just a trade..plenty of hard core conservative towns in California, mostly in rural areas so they won't be missed.
 
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/11/2021 | Babylon Bee

AUSTIN, TX—Texas Governor Greg Abbott signed an executive order today donating the city of Austin and all its citizens to California. A move long in the making, the order gives all million citizens back to California, since most of them came from there anyway.

"I hereby declare Austin and all the hippy yuppie Democrats in this God-forsaken town are now citizens of California," Abbott said at the signing to loud cheering and applause. "Good riddance, and may God have mercy on your souls. Texas don't want you, and I sure as heck don't want you."

"This is long overdue." Many onlookers shot pistols into the air and shotgunned cans of Shiner Bock at the announcement. They all then went to Whataburger to celebrate.

Abbott is moving the capital of Texas out of Austin as part of the executive action and is considering nearby towns like Flying Mosquito, Texas, and Sweltering Plains, Texas, as the new capital.

Governor Newsom of California happily accepted the gift, as he has been needing more people to make up for all those who fled during his short time in office.

------------------

New York Times needs to fact check this one.....sounds suspiciously real....
so what percentage of the Austin population came from Cal?....just curious...
 
Babylon Bee ^ | 06/11/2021 | Babylon Bee

AUSTIN, TX—Texas Governor Greg Abbott signed an executive order today donating the city of Austin and all its citizens to California. A move long in the making, the order gives all million citizens back to California, since most of them came from there anyway.

"I hereby declare Austin and all the hippy yuppie Democrats in this God-forsaken town are now citizens of California," Abbott said at the signing to loud cheering and applause. "Good riddance, and may God have mercy on your souls. Texas don't want you, and I sure as heck don't want you."

"This is long overdue." Many onlookers shot pistols into the air and shotgunned cans of Shiner Bock at the announcement. They all then went to Whataburger to celebrate.

Abbott is moving the capital of Texas out of Austin as part of the executive action and is considering nearby towns like Flying Mosquito, Texas, and Sweltering Plains, Texas, as the new capital.

Governor Newsom of California happily accepted the gift, as he has been needing more people to make up for all those who fled during his short time in office.

------------------

New York Times needs to fact check this one.....sounds suspiciously real....





If only it were that easy!
 

New Topics

Forum List

Back
Top