- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
- 250
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Here's a fun movie fanfiction to retire with I think, inspired by the very unusual Jeepers Creepers American Occult horror film series, probing the modern highway question, "Is American folklore all about danger?"
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Isaac and Fiona just finished college and had been teaching at Dartmouth together as a married couple and decided to take a road-trip together across the US Midwest in Isaac's new vintage Chrysler car. They'd wanted to keep a diary of the changing seasons of the American landscape during the quarantine period in America. The two smart Americans were very nerdy about this sort of journalism.
Isaac and Fiona were taking handy photos of their journey and remarked on the quality of the American terrain during their Midwest road-trip. They took notes in their academic journal about the nature of American roads and by-roads and the quality of hospitality and services during the quarantine. They noted how American roads in farming areas seemed like ghostly chandeliers.
Now, Isaac had been a huge fan of Charles Dickens and the character Artful Dodger. Before he became a professor or attended college as a successful student, he'd been a runaway in the streets of Amsterdam and part of a Boys-and-Girls Club in Europe for runaway or orphaned youngsters. He'd lived on the streets as an artful pickpocket. Well, this Midwest road-trip with his teacher-wife Fiona was to instill in him a special patriotism towards American civilization. During the road-trip, however, the two stopped at an eerie gas-station to use the restrooms and encountered a very scary looking man-creature in a hat wielding some kind of ancient axe weapon.
Fiona let out a scream as the gas-station attendant went running and fled for his life. The man-creature snarled at them and dared Isaac to try to approach him while he lifted his special and unusual ancient axe weapon. Isaac signaled to Fiona to go to their Chrysler and get it started in the miraculous chance that they'd be able to escape this death scene at this random Midwest gas-station. Isaac then pulled out his crafted slingshot which he'd found as a youngster in Europe and kept with him always as a superstitious lucky-charm. He loaded his handy slingshot with a hard rock from the ground and flung it right into the man-creature's left eye.
The man-creature, which Isaac and Fiona now referred to simply as the Creeper, let out a curdling scream as the rock pierced his left eye resulting in major blood flow. The man-creature started weeping and fell to the ground. Isaac used this disorientation event to run to the Chrysler car which Fiona had already succesfully started up. The two fled the gas-station in that Chrysler as fast as they could and drove all the way to a cemetery where they sat and rested to catch their breath. The man-creature was long gone, and Isaac/Fiona kissed and told each other they'd never again be curious about a divine beast like the man-creature Creeper.
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: So you insist to write a folk-tale about this Creeper?
ISAAC/FIONA: We're convinced this encounter represents some American ghost-story!
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: Was this 'Creeper' some kind of symbolic scarecrow come to life?
ISAAC/FIONA: We doubt it's a symbol Golem or Frankenstein but rather some toxic avenger!
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: Why's it haunting the American Midwest do you think?
ISAAC/FIONA: We believe it's some afterlife messenger of deformed organic life in America.
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: Do you think it's a serial-killer or terrorist in a costume?
ISAAC/FIONA: We think it's a pure messenger of American crime...or Occult ritual.
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: Why's it important to describe the Creeper in an academic journal?
ISAAC/FIONA: We believe this 'Creeper' is a manifestation of American depression.
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: Well, then, carry on!
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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
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Isaac and Fiona just finished college and had been teaching at Dartmouth together as a married couple and decided to take a road-trip together across the US Midwest in Isaac's new vintage Chrysler car. They'd wanted to keep a diary of the changing seasons of the American landscape during the quarantine period in America. The two smart Americans were very nerdy about this sort of journalism.
Isaac and Fiona were taking handy photos of their journey and remarked on the quality of the American terrain during their Midwest road-trip. They took notes in their academic journal about the nature of American roads and by-roads and the quality of hospitality and services during the quarantine. They noted how American roads in farming areas seemed like ghostly chandeliers.
Now, Isaac had been a huge fan of Charles Dickens and the character Artful Dodger. Before he became a professor or attended college as a successful student, he'd been a runaway in the streets of Amsterdam and part of a Boys-and-Girls Club in Europe for runaway or orphaned youngsters. He'd lived on the streets as an artful pickpocket. Well, this Midwest road-trip with his teacher-wife Fiona was to instill in him a special patriotism towards American civilization. During the road-trip, however, the two stopped at an eerie gas-station to use the restrooms and encountered a very scary looking man-creature in a hat wielding some kind of ancient axe weapon.
Fiona let out a scream as the gas-station attendant went running and fled for his life. The man-creature snarled at them and dared Isaac to try to approach him while he lifted his special and unusual ancient axe weapon. Isaac signaled to Fiona to go to their Chrysler and get it started in the miraculous chance that they'd be able to escape this death scene at this random Midwest gas-station. Isaac then pulled out his crafted slingshot which he'd found as a youngster in Europe and kept with him always as a superstitious lucky-charm. He loaded his handy slingshot with a hard rock from the ground and flung it right into the man-creature's left eye.
The man-creature, which Isaac and Fiona now referred to simply as the Creeper, let out a curdling scream as the rock pierced his left eye resulting in major blood flow. The man-creature started weeping and fell to the ground. Isaac used this disorientation event to run to the Chrysler car which Fiona had already succesfully started up. The two fled the gas-station in that Chrysler as fast as they could and drove all the way to a cemetery where they sat and rested to catch their breath. The man-creature was long gone, and Isaac/Fiona kissed and told each other they'd never again be curious about a divine beast like the man-creature Creeper.
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: So you insist to write a folk-tale about this Creeper?
ISAAC/FIONA: We're convinced this encounter represents some American ghost-story!
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: Was this 'Creeper' some kind of symbolic scarecrow come to life?
ISAAC/FIONA: We doubt it's a symbol Golem or Frankenstein but rather some toxic avenger!
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: Why's it haunting the American Midwest do you think?
ISAAC/FIONA: We believe it's some afterlife messenger of deformed organic life in America.
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: Do you think it's a serial-killer or terrorist in a costume?
ISAAC/FIONA: We think it's a pure messenger of American crime...or Occult ritual.
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: Why's it important to describe the Creeper in an academic journal?
ISAAC/FIONA: We believe this 'Creeper' is a manifestation of American depression.
COLLEGE ADMINISTRATION: Well, then, carry on!
====
"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)
