The Hereafter.

Briss

Platinum Member
Jan 6, 2021
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Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.
I'm still waiting for the plan that offers 80 virgins. One of them are bound to be nice.
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.
I'm still waiting for the plan that offers 80 virgins. One of them are bound to be nice.
But would you be willing to murder infidels to get those virgins?
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.
I'm still waiting for the plan that offers 80 virgins. One of them are bound to be nice.
But would you be willing to murder infidels to get those virgins?
The infidels . . . and the fidels as well!

But seriously, how long do I get them for?
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.
I'm still waiting for the plan that offers 80 virgins. One of them are bound to be nice.
But would you be willing to murder infidels to get those virgins?
The infidels . . . and the fidels as well!

But seriously, how long do I get them for?
I've often imagined the things I'd like to spend hours and hours doing with beautiful women, but I've learned from a few lucky experiences that there is only so much I can do in a day. I have some really amazing brief experiences that stay with me forever though...
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.
I'm still waiting for the plan that offers 80 virgins. One of them are bound to be nice.
But would you be willing to murder infidels to get those virgins?
The infidels . . . and the fidels as well!

But seriously, how long do I get them for?
I've often imagined the things I'd like to spend hours and hours doing with beautiful women, but I've learned from a few lucky experiences that there is only so much I can do in a day. I have some really amazing brief experiences that stay with me forever though...
I've come to understand that I'm here celebrating my physical temporariness. I'll experience eternity later.
 
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Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.
I'm still waiting for the plan that offers 80 virgins. One of them are bound to be nice.
But would you be willing to murder infidels to get those virgins?
The infidels . . . and the fidels as well!

But seriously, how long do I get them for?
I've often imagined the things I'd like to spend hours and hours doing with beautiful women, but I've learned from a few lucky experiences that there is only so much I can do in a day. I have some really amazing brief experiences that stay with me forever though...
I've come to understand that I'm here celebrating my physical temporariness. I'll experience eternity later.
There is a fourth eternity, where you are simply disposed of after you check out, and are simply gone for all eternity...
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.
I'm still waiting for the plan that offers 80 virgins. One of them are bound to be nice.
But would you be willing to murder infidels to get those virgins?
The infidels . . . and the fidels as well!

But seriously, how long do I get them for?
I've often imagined the things I'd like to spend hours and hours doing with beautiful women, but I've learned from a few lucky experiences that there is only so much I can do in a day. I have some really amazing brief experiences that stay with me forever though...
I've come to understand that I'm here celebrating my physical temporariness. I'll experience eternity later.
There is a fourth eternity, where you are simply disposed of after you check out, and are simply gone for all eternity...
You speak of being gone as an undesirable thing.
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.
I'm still waiting for the plan that offers 80 virgins. One of them are bound to be nice.
But would you be willing to murder infidels to get those virgins?
The infidels . . . and the fidels as well!

But seriously, how long do I get them for?
I've often imagined the things I'd like to spend hours and hours doing with beautiful women, but I've learned from a few lucky experiences that there is only so much I can do in a day. I have some really amazing brief experiences that stay with me forever though...
I've come to understand that I'm here celebrating my physical temporariness. I'll experience eternity later.
There is a fourth eternity, where you are simply disposed of after you check out, and are simply gone for all eternity...
You speak of being gone as an undesirable thing.
That is actually why Buddhism isn't attractive to me. When one ultimately achieves nirvana, that's it. Extinguished like a flame. All those reincarnations are geared toward this ultimate achievement of being gone.
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.

Muslims have some 30 allegories for paradise... and there's nothing about 72 virgins.
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.

Muslims have some 30 allegories for paradise... and there's nothing about 72 virgins.
The basis of this particular reward, with the number 72, is a hadith narrated in the Sunan of Imam Tirmidhi, in which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said:

“The martyr has six unique traits: he is forgiven immediately; he sees his seat in Paradise and he is saved from the punishment of the grave; he is granted safety from the great terror [of the Day of Judgment]; a crown of honor is placed upon his head, a ruby of which is better than this life and all it contains; he is married to 72 maidens of Paradise; and he is allowed to intercede for 70 relatives.”
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.

Muslims have some 30 allegories for paradise... and there's nothing about 72 virgins.
The basis of this particular reward, with the number 72, is a hadith narrated in the Sunan of Imam Tirmidhi, in which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said:

“The martyr has six unique traits: he is forgiven immediately; he sees his seat in Paradise and he is saved from the punishment of the grave; he is granted safety from the great terror [of the Day of Judgment]; a crown of honor is placed upon his head, a ruby of which is better than this life and all it contains; he is married to 72 maidens of Paradise; and he is allowed to intercede for 70 relatives.”

Most Hadiths came out of Persia 250 years after the death of Muhammed and cannot be authenticated.
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
This was a fun read, thanks. Although I cannot see what you conceive, I have doubts about your ability to correctly conceive all three of these types of eternity the way each set of typical belief holders of them do. Perhaps there are merits to each eternity that we cannot conceive that make them worth it to those who believe in them?
Perhaps your perceptions are correct, but they seem "subjectively objective."
Thanks. It was meant in fun. I don't necessarily believe in vampires, christians, or reincarnators.
If I had to choose one, Christianity looks like the better "deal." Muslims offer have the 72 virgin thing, but Christianity looks like the nicest.

Muslims have some 30 allegories for paradise... and there's nothing about 72 virgins.
The basis of this particular reward, with the number 72, is a hadith narrated in the Sunan of Imam Tirmidhi, in which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said:

“The martyr has six unique traits: he is forgiven immediately; he sees his seat in Paradise and he is saved from the punishment of the grave; he is granted safety from the great terror [of the Day of Judgment]; a crown of honor is placed upon his head, a ruby of which is better than this life and all it contains; he is married to 72 maidens of Paradise; and he is allowed to intercede for 70 relatives.”

Most Hadiths came out of Persia 250 years after the death of Muhammed and cannot be authenticated.
Either way, those 72 virgins are out of my reach. I have no intent to surrender or submit, and I am certainly not ready to murder others who won't surrender or submit. I suppose dhimmitude would become less relevant if I paid the price for those virgins, but the surrender or submit thing just isn't for me. As much as I'd like to have my way with 72 virgins, I don't think I could do much with more than 3 or 4 in a day anyway...
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
..they are not even theories--they are fairy tales
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
..they are not even theories--they are fairy tales
Gee, that must be why I said I wrote this in fun.

You need to have more fun . . .
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
..they are not even theories--they are fairy tales
Gee, that must be why I said I wrote this in fun.

You need to have more fun . . .
.....too long OP....like a long speech vs a concise one- nobody remembers the long one
 
Generally speaking, there are three widely accepted theories concerning eternity (aka infinity, immortality, etc.). First, there is the Heaven theory, which holds that immortality is granted by virtue of an agreement made with one's Creator. Based on appearances, this agreement boils down to gaining immortality in the next life by accepting the Creator's terms of obedient surrender to him in this life. A potential downside for those who go this route is that their eternity will be played out in a landscape of their Creator's choosing. And considering the Creator's legendary appreciation of the praise and worship of lesser beings than itself, it is likely that its idea of an eternal good time and your idea of an eternal good time are going to be two different things altogether. So, just a heads-up on that.

Second, there is the Reincarnation theory. Reincarnation is the old, tried and true limitless succession of 80-90-year lifecycle-units (actually occurring simultaneously), with each cycle offering a new and unique perspective from which to explore the possibilities of soul-growth previously missed in other incarnations (timeline existences). Think of it as like watching reruns of your favorite show; you spot something new each time which helps you to see a more complete picture. The purpose, as it turns out, is not to gain knowledge or wisdom, but rather, awareness. And even then, you don't gain awareness; you simply lose the lie. Beyond that, the idea is to become aware enough within a lifecycle to understand that it's all about relationship, and that All is related! As such, there is no "becoming One with All," since you can't connect to that which you were never in a state of disconnect with in the first place. And no matter what illusions of disconnection you have come to believe in, it is nothing that a thousand lifetimes cannot cure. After that, who's to say what is or isn't?

Third, there is Vampirism. Vampirism is the alternative to Heaven and Reincarnation theory. It allows one to bypass the endless re-birth and re-death processes inherent in reincarnation, thereby allowing one to experience no interruption in the continuity of existence. On the surface, this sounds good. In fact, the list of advantages of being a vampire are more than just a little compelling. Think of it--mastering multiple musical instruments; mastering the greatest works of the greatest piano masters; quoting the entire works of Shakespeare by heart; able to kick the asses of ten Bruce Lees simultaneously while blindfolded and with both hads tied behind your back; never aging; able to leap tall buildings in a single bound; etc. etc. You're thinking, where do I sign up, right?

But, like Heaven theory, Vampirism, too, has its downside. For instance, a recent poll suggests that ninety-nine percent of all vampires were not at all artistically inclined before their transition/infection. Yet, a full one hundred percent of that ninety-nine percent are certified masters of at least twelve artistic disciplines, covering the works of all the masters. What this means is that the lack of a break in the continuity of existence has created a boredom so profound that it has driven them to develop mastery over even mundane and previously undesirable pursuits. Indeed, a popular misconception about vampires is that they are creative geniuses, what with their knowledge of Shakespeare and the piano playing and all that. However, the truth is that vampires do not actually become more creative with the passing of time. Heard of any vampires composing their own stuff lately? Didn't think so.

The sad truth is that vampires soon learn that 3-dimensional reality allows for only so many possibilities; only so many objects to observe, and only so many ways to observe those objects, and only so many ways in which to arrange those objects. Eventually, the frame of reality is seen in its entirety and its smallness both at the same time, and reality becomes just another coffin of sorts (devastating). Unable to press forward in any meaningful way, the vampire is thus forced to retrace its step in its hunt for meaning; things missed on side roads dismissed as not worth traveling three or four hundred years earlier. Small wonder, then, that, according to the same poll mentioned earlier, a full one hundred percent of all vampires claim they were told very little about very much concerning the benefits of vampirism by their recruiter.

Of course, when you think about it, the reincarnation experience is really nothing more than the vampire experience broken up into segments. Don't think so? Consider the vampire experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Now, consider the reincarnator experience. You stop breathing, you die, you're buried, and the next thing you know, you're up and running again in a new body. Sound familiar? Oh, and you're hungry! Always the hunger; always the feeding. Both the vampire and the reincarnator will be involved in endless feeding. We're all going to be feeding 'til the cows come home. But the cows won't be coming home because they can't walk, and that's because they have no legs, because you ate them! Trust me when I tell you that we have more in common with vampires than we care to admit.

Of course, most reincarnators will claim that the only thing they have in common with vampires is immortality. They believe that the real litmus test for determining one's vamp-status is, and always has been, the drinking of the blood of one's victims. But are reincarnators being honest when they draw such a distinction between themselves and vampires? Is it really fair to distinguish oneself as a non-vampire simply because one cooks the victim's blood before consuming it? Oh, I'm sorry . . . what's that? You say you dump the blood down the drain and restrict yourself to the actual flesh--and then only after it's been cooked? Ah yes, the power of fire. I almost forgot about the mythical cleansing power of fire--how it can purify even the bloodiest aspects of any harvest. Vampires, unholy creatures that they are, will not take the time to do a purification ceremony as we reincarnators do; they just dig in. Lazy suckers. Is such laziness the product of evil, or is evil the product of such laziness? Like, which came first, the chicken or the egg? Another topic for another dimension.

Still not convinced that you're no better than a vampire? No? Ever wonder why the scene of an animal being "harvested" looks eerily similar to the scene of a vampire attack? I say, "similar," because the scene of an animal being harvested is twenty-three times more horrifyingly gory than the scene of a vampire attack. A vampire attack consists of two small pinholes in the neck, and symptoms of final-stage anemia. By contrast, the back room of a butcher shop looks like the scene of an especially terrible vampire attack--one that has gone oh so very, very wrong.

The point is, whether you or your butcher prepares the harvest for your consumption, there is no denying that the Christian's, the reincarnator's and the vampire's meal is one and the same. So, for all intents and purposes, we're all vampires, and there's nothing wrong with that.. If you still doubt your vampire nature, ask a friend to drive a wood stake through your heart and see what happens!
..they are not even theories--they are fairy tales
Gee, that must be why I said I wrote this in fun.

You need to have more fun . . .
.....too long OP....like a long speech vs a concise one- nobody remembers the long one
How's your morning going?

You've made the mistake of believing that I wrote something here that was intended to be serious.

But . . . no.
 

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