# My Cat Is Insane



## Cecilie1200 (Nov 29, 2008)

I've always been of the opinion that cats are all a bit nuts, anyway, but my newest one is completely bonkers.  He's a Maine Coon Cat, so he's a big muscular sucker, and he's got claws like talons.  This is a problem because, like all cats, he holds the belief that where he belongs is wherever he happens to wish to be at the moment.  Usually, that would be my lap, which is rapidly disappearing under my pregnant belly.  He gives absolutely no warning when he's incoming, so all of a sudden, one is presented with a furry, twenty-pound bowling ball flying at speed.  And he views his abnormally long claws as handy landing gear, the perfect solution to the inexplicable fact that so many people do not have twenty-pound-cat-sized laps.

Right about now, you're saying, "Well, that doesn't sound any different than any other cat, although maybe a bit bigger and heavier."  Ah, but the time he feels most inclined to be on my lap - although certainly not the ONLY time - is when I'm in the bathroom, relieving myself.  This cat (whose name is Latte, because he's the color of a latte and acts like he's hopped up on caffeine) has a weird fascination with all my hygienic behaviors, and cannot conceive of the idea that I might prefer to urinate without his extremely close company.

Now, of course, you're saying, "Why don't you just shut the bathroom door tightly, then?"  Originally, I couldn't get it to shut entirely, because the wood had swelled from humidity.  Now that it does shut all the way, I am treated to the sight of Latte's paw, extending under the door and rattling it in the frame, accompanied by a loud, forlorn, and repeated yowl that annoys everyone in the house.

Nor is this the only time Latte feels the need to join me in the bathroom.  Oh, no.  His favorite activity is to watch me take a bath.  He won't come near the shower when it's running, but baths . . .  If he can get into the bathroom, then he has his front paws on the edge of the tub, peering around the shower door at me.  If he can't get in, then he's rattling the door and yowling.

Last week, I started the tub running, and then realized that I had forgotten my book in the bedroom and went to get it (I take showers for cleanliness, and baths to relax stiff muscles).  When I came back, Latte was in his usual position, front paws up on the tub, peering into the water with every appearance of confusion, as though he was saying, "Where the hell is she?"  I walked in, and he turned and looked over his shoulder at me, like, "Oh, there you are.  I was looking for you."

The culmination, though, was a couple of days ago, when I closed the shower door almost all the way to hold the steam in, because I was really cold.  There was about a two-inch gap.  Over the top of my book, I saw a kitty paw slooooooowly extend through the gap, then scrabble madly at my foot, which was just out of reach, then withdraw.  A minute later, the paw slooooooowly crept into the space again, scrabbled madly at my foot, then withdrew.  I watched him do this a couple more times, then opened the shower door.  Latte happily popped up over the edge of the tub as usual, as if to say, "Well, FINALLY.  I've been trying to get your attention for ages."

My cat is completely, certifiably insane.


----------



## chloe (Nov 30, 2008)

ha ha my cat knows how to open doors with his paw, also last summer somehow he cracked open the glass sliding door to my back deck. He is so clever ! My girl cat is a primadonna and whenever the boy cat tries to snuggle up to her she smacks him.


----------



## strollingbones (Nov 30, 2008)

claws covers..they are orange and you super glue them to the talons..they make them non pointie...a friend uses them...


----------



## Andi G (Nov 30, 2008)

strollingbones said:


> claws covers..they are orange and you super glue them to the talons..they make them non pointie...a friend uses them...



Doesn't it drive them crazy?  Great idea for clawing kitties though.


----------



## editec (Nov 30, 2008)

I also have a Maine Coon cat residing with me.

They are not quite like most other cats, in my opinion.

They're the cats that the _other cats_ think are arrogant.


----------



## chloe (Nov 30, 2008)

editec said:


> I also have a Maine Coon cat residing with me.
> 
> They are not quite like most other cats, in my opinion.
> 
> They're the cats that the _other cats_ think are arrogant.




ha ha, my boy cat is a Ferrell cat and he is very Arrogant too.


----------



## sky dancer (Nov 30, 2008)

chloe said:


> ha ha, my boy cat is a Ferrell cat and he is very Arrogant too.




I just misread your post to read 'my boyfriend is a feral cat and very arrogant too'.


----------



## chloe (Nov 30, 2008)

sky dancer said:


> I just misread your post to read 'my boyfriend is a feral cat and very arrogant too'.



ha ha funny sky. I don't have a boyfriend nor do I date, but your correct in the past both ex husbands were arrogant. HAHA


----------



## sky dancer (Nov 30, 2008)

That's what happens without glasses and my morning caffeine.


----------



## chloe (Nov 30, 2008)

ha ha I bet you had a good morning laugh then from your misread.


----------



## sky dancer (Nov 30, 2008)

chloe said:


> ha ha I bet you had a good morning laugh then from your misread.



You're not kidding, lol.


----------



## xsited1 (Nov 30, 2008)

We have a cat door so our cats come and go as they please.  They love to bring in all sorts of critters:  rats, mice, squirrels, birds and bugs (like roaches).  Then they let them go INSIDE THE HOUSE!


----------



## Cecilie1200 (Nov 30, 2008)

xsited1 said:


> We have a cat door so our cats come and go as they please.  They love to bring in all sorts of critters:  rats, mice, squirrels, birds and bugs (like roaches).  Then they let them go INSIDE THE HOUSE!



We used to have indoor/outdoor cats when I was a kid.  Then my dad opened the door to let one of them in a couple of days before Christmas, and the cat dived behind all the presents under the tree . . . with a dead, bloody mouse corpse clutched in his jaws.  Mom had hysterics, and I can still remember my dad muttering under his breath as he hauled every single present out from under the tree in order to retrieve the cat and the corpse.

What really convinced Mom, though, was that a year later, that same cat decided to curl up and take a nap in the warmest place in the yard . . . which happened to be under the hood of the car, on top of the engine block.  Mom started the car, screeching, black fur flying everywhere, more hysterics.  The cat survived, but the vet bills were tremendous, and Mom never allowed any of our cats to go outside ever again.


----------



## Cecilie1200 (Nov 30, 2008)

editec said:


> I also have a Maine Coon cat residing with me.
> 
> They are not quite like most other cats, in my opinion.
> 
> They're the cats that the _other cats_ think are arrogant.



I don't know if Latte is arrogant so much as just very playful and affectionate, and so damned big that it's never occurred to him that he's not the dominant animal in the house.  Min, the female cat who lives in the main house with him, is too fat and passive to argue with whatever he wants, and Remy, the Keeshond, is too gentle and loving.  By the way, Latte LOVES snuggling up to Remy for naps now that it's cold.  I'm always amused to see the dog sprawled on the floor, fast asleep, and the cat walking up and making himself comfortable against Remy's tummy, supremely oblivious to the fact that Remy's six times his size.  Remy always wakes up, startled, looks down, and then flops back on the floor as if to say, "Oh, it's just you again."

Anyway, that may be why Latte exhibits such strange behavior toward me.  As the only female human in the house, he may just be feeling the instinct to try to dominate me, as well.  I know for the first three months that I was pregnant, I had to literally hide my clothes after I took them off, because if I didn't, Latte would urinate all over them.  Only MY clothes, and only those that I had just worn.  The vet said it was probably the smell of the pregnancy hormones driving him nuts.  I think he was already nuts.


----------



## DavidS (Dec 5, 2008)

My 80 lb. pitbull mix (Kaleb) is absolutely PETRIFIED of cats. He hates them with a passion. Kaleb LOVES to join you in the bathroom though... if you're on the toilet, he will open up a door or bark to get you to open it for him and he will just lay there right by your feet. 

Kaleb has recently discovered the art of chasing squirrels though. Some jokester put a sign on the trunk of a large tree that had an arrow pointing up that said "FREE SQUIRRELS" as my area is full of squirrels and full of dogs... which are not the best combo. The other day I was playing with Kaleb in the park off leash and he saw a squirrel just staring at us playing. Kaleb lost it and with every ounce of energy he had, he ran as fast as he could over to the squirrel. He missed the squirrel and almost ran head first into the tree. I couldn't stop laughing at him.


----------



## AllieBaba (Dec 5, 2008)

I had a black Persian who would attack me viciously whenever her food bowl was empty. I mean completely viciously, slash and bite at my feet while growling, draw blood.

I finally gave that $350 cat to a woman who was a real bitch who raised them. I didn't tell her about the unfortunate behavior. Hope she enjoyed it.


----------



## DavidS (Dec 15, 2008)

How's Latte?


----------



## Anguille (Dec 15, 2008)

*My Cat Is Insane by Cecilie1200*

Well, look who he has to live with.


----------



## Cecilie1200 (Dec 16, 2008)

DavidS said:


> How's Latte?



Still completely nuts.  The other day, he got up on my lap, turned partway around, hooked his claw into my shirt at the side of my left breast (as an anchor, one assumes), and then flopped backward so that he was lying across my lap, head cradled on my right elbow as I was holding the computer mouse, all four feet in the air, purring and content with the world.  This is one of his favorite tricks, and he doesn't seem to much mind if his stiletto-like claws sink a bit TOO deeply into my shirt, if you catch my drift.

He's also taken to playing with Nimitz, the cat we keep isolated in the master bedroom.  Nimmy is pretty old - 13 - and nearly had a nervous breakdown when our ex-roommate brought his tomcat to live with us.  The dog doesn't please her, either, so she has the run of the master bedroom and bath and we keep the door closed to keep the other animals out.  Latte, though, doesn't accept that.  I go into the bedroom and shut the door, and he slips his paw under the door and rattles it back and forth to get my attention.  Nimitz, of course, can see his paw moving around and swats at it.  So now Latte lies in the hallway, his foreleg shoved under my door, swatting at Nimitz while she pounces on his paw like a mouse.  She wigs if he actually manages to get into the room, but she doesn't seem to mind this little game.

Cats are just weird.


----------



## DavidS (Jan 28, 2009)

How's latte reacting to the watermelon seed..err... new baby??


----------



## Cecilie1200 (Jan 28, 2009)

DavidS said:


> How's latte reacting to the watermelon seed..err... new baby??



It irks the snot out of him that he can't get into the nursery.


----------



## DavidS (Jan 28, 2009)

Cecilie1200 said:


> DavidS said:
> 
> 
> > How's latte reacting to the watermelon seed..err... new baby??
> ...



Why can't he?


----------



## Cecilie1200 (Jan 29, 2009)

DavidS said:


> Cecilie1200 said:
> 
> 
> > DavidS said:
> ...



Because the door is kept very firmly shut at all times.  I don't need him getting in there and marking in the corners, or wallowing all over the bassinet and covering it with fur, or getting the notion to get up in the baby's face because he smells like milk and then suffocating him or something.


----------



## sarahgop (Feb 21, 2009)

my  cat  likes to lay between the  keyboard and  monitor as i am typing and  he  goes  nuts when he sees  kittenkoders typing  kitten, lol


----------



## editec (Feb 21, 2009)

Cecilie1200 said:


> editec said:
> 
> 
> > I also have a Maine Coon cat residing with me.
> ...


----------



## Charles_Main (Feb 23, 2009)

I had a cat who used to like to watch people take baths, until the day he fell in while my wife was in the bath. He of course freaked and clawed the crap out of my wife, and smacked his head on the faucet before flying out of the tub, never to go near it again.


----------



## sarahgop (Feb 23, 2009)

my  cat  likes to take  car rides and  sit  on the  dashboard


----------



## Cecilie1200 (Feb 23, 2009)

Charles_Main said:


> I had a cat who used to like to watch people take baths, until the day he fell in while my wife was in the bath. He of course freaked and clawed the crap out of my wife, and smacked his head on the faucet before flying out of the tub, never to go near it again.



I used to have a cat who liked to jump up on the side of the tub and try to drink the bathwater.  The only problem was that a) the side of the tub was very slick porcelain, and b) the cat was a klutz.  So every so often, she'd overshoot/slip and land in the bath.  Being declawed, she had no real option except to pull herself out of the water with a pissed-off expression on her face, flick her tail in the air and glare at you as if to say, "I did that on purpose, because I was feeling a mite dusty", and stalk off with the tattered remains of her dignity.


----------



## BrokenAngel (Feb 27, 2009)

Cecilie1200 said:


> I've always been of the opinion that cats are all a bit nuts, anyway, but my newest one is completely bonkers.  He's a Maine Coon Cat, so he's a big muscular sucker, and he's got claws like talons.  This is a problem because, like all cats, he holds the belief that where he belongs is wherever he happens to wish to be at the moment.  Usually, that would be my lap, which is rapidly disappearing under my pregnant belly.  He gives absolutely no warning when he's incoming, so all of a sudden, one is presented with a furry, twenty-pound bowling ball flying at speed.  And he views his abnormally long claws as handy landing gear, the perfect solution to the inexplicable fact that so many people do not have twenty-pound-cat-sized laps.
> 
> Right about now, you're saying, "Well, that doesn't sound any different than any other cat, although maybe a bit bigger and heavier."  Ah, but the time he feels most inclined to be on my lap - although certainly not the ONLY time - is when I'm in the bathroom, relieving myself.  This cat (whose name is Latte, because he's the color of a latte and acts like he's hopped up on caffeine) has a weird fascination with all my hygienic behaviors, and cannot conceive of the idea that I might prefer to urinate without his extremely close company.
> 
> ...



I know EXACTLY how you feel.  I have two rescue Maine Coons and from my experience it is behavior that is pretty standard with the breed.  They are VERY people oriented, almost like dogs.  I even have one that plays fetch.. you toss a ball or a mouse down the hallway and he will bring it back, drop it at your feet, then look up at you waiting for you to throw it again.

Now I would be careful of one thing if I were you.  I just recently had a child myself and we have a hazard I had to be careful of with our Maine Coon.  If you have any shelves or tall cat trees do NOT pass by them when Latte is up high.  Imagine that 20 pounds of loving fluff suddenly jumping on your shoulders.  Now to add to the stumbling fun, you remember those claws that resemble tallons?  Yeah... your shirt is toast pretty quickly if you try to evade the flying furball, especially with the lack of limber mobility when you are in month 6 and on.

The only other breed that I am aware of that is truly people obsessive is the Pixie Bob.  Try wearing Latte out a couple times a day with toys and spend a little time trying to teach him some basic tricks.  It should make the fluff happy from being challenged and rather ready for a mid day nap.  That should allow you some time to relax in the bath or shower.

By the way, my Maine Coons are amazing with my baby.  He is 5 months old and he can slap them, pull fur, stick his fingers in their mouths, do just about anything and they won't lift a paw to him.  They just look at me as if asking "What did we do to you?".  We are trying to teach him to be gentle, but I couldn't have asked for more loving or understanding animals.

Best of luck and congratulations.  I hope the pregnancy goes well and don't be a hero, take the epideral!!


----------

