# I feel a little depressed



## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Life a is like prison, a "life sentence" haha. Don't worry I'm not going to kill myself since I know how much pain it brings to people you leave behind. But life is not all it's cracked up to be imo.


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## westwall (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


> Life a is like prison, a "life sentence" haha. Don't worry I'm not going to kill myself since I know how much pain it brings to people you leave behind. But life is not all it's cracked up to be imo.







Life is what you make of it my friend.  If things aren't going well volunteer for some group that is out helping others.  You will be astonished at how much good comes from that.  For both you, and them.


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## aaronleland (Oct 13, 2017)

How can anybody be depressed while I exist?


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

I can validate what you are saying. You are not alone.


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## westwall (Oct 13, 2017)

aaronleland said:


> How can anybody be depressed while I exist?






Dude...people are depressed_* because*_ you exist!


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

westwall said:


> drifter said:
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> > Life a is like prison, a "life sentence" haha. Don't worry I'm not going to kill myself since I know how much pain it brings to people you leave behind. But life is not all it's cracked up to be imo.
> ...



I've done that before and it was rewarding. But I'm just not in the mood. I think I feel a bit apathetic.


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## aaronleland (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


> I can validate what you are saying. You are not alone.



I know you were responding to me, but let's pretend you were talking to Drifter.


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## westwall (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


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Yes, apathy can be a problem.  That is for sure.  But it too will pass.  Then do the volunteer thing, and more importantly keep doing it.  It is a feeling that will continue to grow as you carry on doing it.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

I tried that. Volunteering just made me more depressed. And, people can smell depressed folks and thats when they pounce because they think you are weak. 
Actually, that might be a good idea after all. They try to take advantage, you get pissed off, no more funk!


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

westwall said:


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I used to volunteer at the refugee center. Also the food pantry. I know it does make you feel good. I am just feeling despair not for material reasons more for spiritual reasons. I can't seem to stop, seeing others less fortunate is more depressing in a way for me right now.


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


> Life a is like prison, a "life sentence" haha. Don't worry I'm not going to kill myself since I know how much pain it brings to people you leave behind. But life is not all it's cracked up to be imo.


That's why there are fetishes, drugs, alcohol, nude beaches, red hat society's, Denny's for all night coffee and novel reading..I mostly wallow in sexual degradation and weed.....


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Moonglow said:


> drifter said:
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> > Life a is like prison, a "life sentence" haha. Don't worry I'm not going to kill myself since I know how much pain it brings to people you leave behind. But life is not all it's cracked up to be imo.
> ...



I like weed and sleep.


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## Marion Morrison (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


> Life a is like prison, a "life sentence" haha. Don't worry I'm not going to kill myself since I know how much pain it brings to people you leave behind. But life is not all it's cracked up to be imo.



The alternative isn't better. Suck it up, buttercup!


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


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I learned to do without sleep before I had 4 kids, been doing it ever since......There's just too much to do in such little time....


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Marion Morrison said:


> drifter said:
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> > Life a is like prison, a "life sentence" haha. Don't worry I'm not going to kill myself since I know how much pain it brings to people you leave behind. But life is not all it's cracked up to be imo.
> ...



I am.  I am just bitching about it. It will pass.


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Moonglow said:


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You have god prospects ahead of you. You could write a screenplay or do voiceovers, anything start a pot business.


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## aaronleland (Oct 13, 2017)

I have this "chicken or the egg" thing with depression. I'm not sure if I masturbate because I'm depressed, or if I'm depressed because I masturbate.


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## Marion Morrison (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


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\
We all have our days.

There's 3 types of days

Type a) Everything goes well

Type b) Things mess up but you right them and everything is OK.

Type c) It's all bad!

Hopefully a and b days are at a ratio of 30:1 vs c for everybody.


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


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I have those days also and hide in my room playing marathon series of games on the 'puter...Before the 'puter it was on business table sized maps...or game boards..


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


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I plan to.....One more run around the Mayberry tree before I have to sit and wait it out...


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


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You could do the same. Hint hint.


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

After being upstairs in the madness I know I am way ahead of these guys and take false ride in my accomplishments of the day like not getting banned by FlatCan...


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


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I sound like a Canadian that had a stroke. People always ask where I'm from.


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

aaronleland said:


> I have this "chicken or the egg" thing with depression. I'm not sure if I masturbate because I'm depressed, or if I'm depressed because I masturbate.



I remember your struggle with it too. I also remember how tough your childhood was and the losses you've gone through with your mom.


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## Marion Morrison (Oct 13, 2017)

Hey! Cheer up!


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## aaronleland (Oct 13, 2017)

I've pretty much been in a constant state of depression since I was about 13. If I had helpful words I'd use them on myself. So I'm just going to be an ass.


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

aaronleland said:


> I've pretty much been in a constant state of depression since I was about 13. If I had helpful words I'd use them on myself. So I'm just going to be an ass.



It's fine I still love you.


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Marion Morrison said:


> Hey! Cheer up!



I am trying to thanks for replying.


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## Care4all (Oct 13, 2017)

been there done that...  several times over the years...
some times it feels like the saying:

Life's a bitch,
And then you die.

what I have found, is exercise helps....long walks, viewing nature along the way and getting some sun....the exercise increases endorphins....the ''happy'' hormones or whatever they are, it's a natural way, vs getting anti depressant drugs...

What is it that is bothering you?  The never ending hatefulness in the world?  That's enough to get the best of us depressed!


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

Care4all said:


> been there done that...  several times over the years...
> some times it feels like the saying:
> 
> Life's a bitch,
> ...


I trained myself to ignore the lectures of my peers , three wives and 4 kids...


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## K9Buck (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


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Go on YouTube and type in "near-death" experiences and listen to the countless accounts of regular people sharing their experience of crossing over, meeting Jesus, loved ones who have already passed, etc.  It will lift your spirits and give you hope.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

To get out of my funk, I hit Pinterest and look at pretty pics. I also hit lolcats. Or loldogs. I wander the net and avoid the negative shit. And sometimes, I deliberately put myself in negative areas so I can be like aaron...be an ass and love every second of it.
Or, I sit outside and listen to nature. Or have a damn good cry then a nice nap afterwards.


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

K9Buck said:


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I love comedy shows, what channel is that on?


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Drifter is an old soul. And like me, an empath. She feels the vibes everywhere. Its just her nature. And sometimes, that load is just too fucking much.


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## aaronleland (Oct 13, 2017)

When I get depressed I try to lose myself in things like USMB. You think I actually like you people? I need you people.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

aaronleland said:


> You think I actually like you people? I need you people.


I think that is why so many are here. Its not like we like anyone here. We NEED them.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

And..maybe that is why SOME of  the banned sneak back all the time. They NEED usmb and the ones still here.


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## aaronleland (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


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You know I love you. Even though you did shit on me the other night. Not literally. I don't do that anymore.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

aaronleland said:


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I did? I'm sorry. Sometimes when I don't have my glasses on, I sit on anything that is at least 2 feet high and is round like a porta potty. 
We disagreed, Aaron. Has nothing to do with how I feel about you as a person.


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## numan (Oct 13, 2017)

'
The fact is, we are taught to fear death. In itself, it has no significance. Nor does life, for that matter, except to manifest the inexplicable wonder and power and intricacy of existence.

We do not fear what we were before birth; why should we fear what we will be after death?  Leaving aside the fairy tales of religion, death is simply the end of our personal existence. No matter what experiences and objects we greedily cling to, when we have breathed our last, they are all as if they had never been.

Of course, our lives can affect the lives of those who come after us, but that obviously does not concern us much, considering how nonchalantly we are bequeathing a world of ecological catastrophe to our posterity.

Our deaths, and our lives, are of utter insignificance, here on a grain of dust amid the rapidly cooling embers of the Big Bang.

Some people say that they do not fear death, but the pain of dying.

Pain is indeed the normal concomitant of our dissolution, which we make more fearsome by denying it and refusing to look at it. No matter how horrid our pain, it will end, one way or another. Moreover, it rarely, if ever, equals the sum total of the pain we endure in life.  A stoic acceptance of what life brings us is most appropriate to such transient creatures of air and dew as we are.

Is life worth living? As Samuel Butler wrote, that is a question for an embryo, not for a man (or a woman).

When I have been low, I have considered with what struggle and pain I have achieved the minimal level of awareness I now possess. My untimely disappearance would mean that some other poor creature would need to go through a similar struggle to reach an equivalent awareness.  It is best to endure life and see if my awareness has any use, deficient and incomplete as that awareness is.  As unlikely as it is that my life and awareness have any significance, there are those whose existences have some meaning, brief as that meaning may be.  Moreover, only the long unrolling of the ages can determine the ultimate meaning of our lives. The lives of the dinosaurs are often judged to be without meaning, but their existence shaped the evolution of our distant ancestors, and their disappearance permitted us to exist.

For those who do not find contemplation of the long sweep of the ages to be congenial, I would say this:

*Life is like a camping trip. If you want to be comfortable, you should have stayed home by the fire. Yet,  people do go on camping trips*.  --- 
.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

I don't fear death. I actually look forward to it. What I fear is LINGERING and living a long time. I don't want to be here past 70. Can't walk. Can't wipe my own ass. Have to depend on strangers to wipe my drool. Ignored and forgotten in a piss filled bed that some schmuck is too lazy to clean up for me since I can't do it myself. Being at the MERCY of someone who doesn't give a shit? Oh hayell no. If I am still breathing at 70, on my birthday I will give myself a present. And to me, it WILL be a present, which is getting the fuck out of this hell hole.


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## Synthaholic (Oct 13, 2017)

westwall said:


> Yes, apathy can be a problem.


I don't care.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Well..that was not very uplifting. Sorry Drifter. YOU GO GIRL! Is that better? lol


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Some humor..to lighten the situation:


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## aaronleland (Oct 13, 2017)

numan said:


> '
> The fact is, we are taught to fear death. In itself, it has no significance. Nor does life, for that matter, except to manifest the inexplicable wonder and power and intricacy of existence.
> 
> We do not fear what we were before birth; why should we fear what we will be after death?  Leaving aside the fairy tales of religion, death is simply the end of our personal existence. No matter what experiences and objects we greedily cling to, when we have breathed our last, they are all as if they had never been.
> ...



Awesome. We're trying to make Drifter feel better and Numan posts making her want to kill herself.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)




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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)




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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

numan said:


> '
> The fact is, we are taught to fear death. In itself, it has no significance. Nor does life, for that matter, except to manifest the inexplicable wonder and power and intricacy of existence.
> 
> We do not fear what we were before birth; why should we fear what we will be after death?  Leaving aside the fairy tales of religion, death is simply the end of our personal existence. No matter what experiences and objects we greedily cling to, when we have breathed our last, they are all as if they had never been.
> ...


Fucking unbelievable garbage...


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

ok. I laughed at this. Those tiny arms. LOL


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)




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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)




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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)




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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Well? Are any of these working? They sure are for me, lol.


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie you're acting gay again, and not Liberace gay...


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)




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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Moonglow said:


> Gracie you're acting gay again, and not Liberace gay...


Just trying to cheer her up.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Ok. I'm done.


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


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It's the woman gay thing without sexual connotations...Juggling would work better...


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Care4all said:


> been there done that...  several times over the years...
> some times it feels like the saying:
> 
> Life's a bitch,
> ...



Yes, personal offline life stuff.  You are right though the world does feel hateful too at times. I pray for love to touch us. (I left my sentiments wide open for an aaronleland retort)  wink


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

I mean to a guy like me I see how gay women are compared to men...We mostly laugh at our own farts...Gay in the old sense before it's bastardization in the urban dictionary...


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

I am getting high now. 

Thanks, everybody, I love you.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Moonglow said:


> I mean to a guy like me I see how gay women are compared to men...We mostly laugh at our own farts...Gay in the old sense before it's bastardization in the urban dictionary...


Fart jokes make me laugh every time. I'm female and am supposed to ewww and yuk such jokes, alas...not me.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter said:


> I am getting high now.
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> Thanks, everybody, I love you.


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


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Compared to the 1960's yes, people may fart freely today....


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

deannalw 

Tell Drifter about your love of spider stories. Doubledog...doublespider dare ya! Be explicit too. I love your yarns. I think she will too.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Moonglow said:


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Unless it turns out it wasn't a fart.


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


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Even grasshoppers space cadet ozone out when eating weed...


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


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A silent but windy?


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

I still have those buds in a baggie in my drawer no more than 6 inches away from my left hand. But..I'm skeered to try it. Maybe I should get a pipe. Maybe it can be inhaled better than in a joint. Maybe it will stay in the drawer.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Moonglow said:


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Nope. Wet and messy.


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


> I still have those buds in a baggie in my drawer no more than 6 inches away from my left hand. But..I'm skeered to try it. Maybe I should get a pipe. Maybe it can be inhaled better than in a joint. Maybe it will stay in the drawer.


It helps with my shakes and anxiety, muscle cramps and geriatric profanity disease...


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## Moonglow (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


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Those are...............even funnier, like wet your britches gaggling..


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

I don't wanna hear that high ringing in me ears. And when ya get my age, that high could mean a stroke or something. If Imma gonna keel over, I want it quicklike. NO STROKE!
Imma skeered of pot. haven't smoked it in 40+ years.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Moonglow said:


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Sure. har har. Unless you are the one sitting in it.


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


> I still have those buds in a baggie in my drawer no more than 6 inches away from my left hand. But..I'm skeered to try it. Maybe I should get a pipe. Maybe it can be inhaled better than in a joint. Maybe it will stay in the drawer.



Make some brownies. Edibles lady that's where it's at.


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## EvilCat Breath (Oct 13, 2017)

Go to the animal shelter and volunteer to walk a few dogs.


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

If I pass gas my boyfriend sprays febreeze for like 5 minutes, he's a fucking diva.


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## Zoom-boing (Oct 13, 2017)

You just passed the fourth anniversary, didn't you? It's better with time, but then at times .... it's not. 

Go adopt some of the animals they sent to your area from the hurricane areas. 

We rescued an abandoned kitten the mom cat left under the porch. He's so sweet. He has kidney issues and it makes me sad that he might not be around long term. But I love him to pieces.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Ladies don't pass gas, missy. They poot.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

I ate a "special" brownie once. Was sicker than a dog. My innards were NOT amused.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

I'd love to go to the local shelter and play with the dogs and maybe very short walks since I can't walk far myself...but..I'm skeered to. I KNOW I would bring one home. I just know it. And seeing them in cages depresses me more.


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Zoom-boing said:


> You just passed the fourth anniversary, didn't you? It's better with time, but then at times .... it's not.
> 
> Go adopt some of the animals they sent to your area from the hurricane areas.
> 
> We rescued an abandoned kitten the mom cat left under the porch. He's so sweet. He has kidney issues and it makes me sad that he might not be around long term. But I love him to pieces.



So sweet. Tomorrow I may do that. Thank you. So glad to see you post.


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


> I'd love to go to the local shelter and play with the dogs and maybe very short walks since I can't walk far myself...but..I'm skeered to. I KNOW I would bring one home. I just know it. And seeing them in cages depresses me more.



I love to go to the shelter too but I have not done it for quite a while now.


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Gracie said:


> I ate a "special" brownie once. Was sicker than a dog. My innards were NOT amused.



Some people can't do pot. My sister cried when she did it. She preferred beer.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

I can take blankies and stuff to the pound but I can't go in. Last time I did that, I spent 900 bucks on my CC paying for adoption fees so people would adopt more. Got me in some major doo doo with MrG. But I'd do it again if I could. Which I can't.
I need to avoid the shelters as much as possible. Glad I  have some new friends here with dogs. I just go spoil those!

Drifter should volunteer at Red Cross as grief counselor. She is good at lifting people up. And now its her turn to be raised up and I think everyone is doing a fine job. Hell, I'm feeling mighty perky now too and I ain't even loaded!


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## Coyote (Oct 13, 2017)

drifter 
Sometimes the best thing is to keep pushing forward and going through the motions until the funk lifts...it will eventually lift.  I try to break the apathy by making myself do things.  Walking, running.  It can be hard to engage with people, but movement seems to help.

The funk WILL lift...it always does eventually.  This is also a hard time of year.


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## Coyote (Oct 13, 2017)

aaronleland said:


> I've pretty much been in a constant state of depression since I was about 13. If I had helpful words I'd use them on myself. So I'm just going to be an ass.


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## Michelle420 (Oct 13, 2017)

Coyote said:


> drifter
> Sometimes the best thing is to keep pushing forward and going through the motions until the funk lifts...it will eventually lift.  I try to break the apathy by making myself do things.  Walking, running.  It can be hard to engage with people, but movement seems to help.
> 
> The funk WILL lift...it always does eventually.  This is also a hard time of year.



Thanks, I agree about that. I got a crummy cold and have not been to the gym for a week now. So that sucks. I know it will pass it just sucks to feel this way. I hate it.


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## Gracie (Oct 13, 2017)

Me too. But I am glad I found the t rex making the bed. I am still laughing at it.


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## deannalw (Oct 14, 2017)

Gracie said:


> deannalw
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> Tell Drifter about your love of spider stories. Doubledog...doublespider dare ya! Be explicit too. I love your yarns. I think she will too.



*gasp*  I don't belong in the LOUNGE!!! I can't behave myself, and I'll get all smited by someone with a damn ban stick!

Drifter I hope this passes for you quickly. You are a fine gal.

I'm stupid happy most of the time, but it's getting near the month that life changes just about brought me down a couple years ago. I've gotten much better at dealing with november and December, but I didn't do it alone. Everyone here offered good advice, I think. 

I've a million stories Gracie. I thought of writing a book. Life with a redneck and how I survived.  If we're both still around long enough, you'll probably hear em all because I never fuckin shut up.


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## saveliberty (Oct 14, 2017)

drifter said:


> Life a is like prison, a "life sentence" haha. Don't worry I'm not going to kill myself since I know how much pain it brings to people you leave behind. But life is not all it's cracked up to be imo.



Life is a struggle, that is what makes us appreciate the parts that are really good.  

We have to eat everyday, that means clean the dishes.  We wear clothes, ergo laundry.  Need I say more?


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## saveliberty (Oct 14, 2017)

deannalw said:


> *gasp*  I don't belong in the LOUNGE!!! I can't behave myself, and I'll get all smited by someone with a damn ban stick!
> 
> Drifter I hope this passes for you quickly. You are a fine gal.
> 
> ...



Sleep talking, it is a thing....if you sleep walk, make me a sammich.


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## saveliberty (Oct 14, 2017)

drifter said:


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## saveliberty (Oct 14, 2017)

I am depressed I am unable to save pillars from herself.


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