# For Northerners Moving South



## DamnYankee (Jun 24, 2009)

In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.

Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.

The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck or big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper

Be advised that "He needed killin' " is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: 
If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, jus' 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't mean we're gonna call 'em biscuits.


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## Phoenix (Jun 24, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
> 
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.
> 
> ...


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## Luissa (Jun 24, 2009)

hilarious and those are just some of the reasons I will never live in the south!


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## Gunny (Jun 25, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
> 
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.
> 
> ...





"Hey, y'all watch this ..."  priceless.


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## Gunny (Jun 25, 2009)

Luissa said:


> hilarious and those are just some of the reasons I will never live in the south!



Been invited, have you?


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## Amanda (Jun 25, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
> 
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.
> 
> ...



Great post. Funny, yet the truth of the genuiness of rednecks is in there. My dad ALWAYS stops to see if folks stuck on the side of the road need help. It's funny how people distrust his honest desire to help them. Or sad, really. Howdid we get to the point where we distrust each other so much?

My dad and bros get their hair cut at a barber shop where you can also buy ammo. 

Bacon grease makes everything you fry better. Just take my word for it. 

You can never have too many staples to see you through a storm. When power used to go out back home it could be 2 weeks before it was back. 

I can't tell you the number of times my bros would say  "Hey, y'all watch this," butn none ever ended up maimed. Maybe they were just lucky. 

I learned how to shoot when I was about 10, but it wasn't mama, it was daddy. He gave me a 243 Roberts and I learned to take down a deer with it. it was a proud moment for me to know I fed my family. Never been much of a shotgun gal, I'd rather have a good dog, but my little Glock is a comfort.

I feel a little sorry for Northerners/Libs... it seems they will never know how it feels to be really connected to a community the way us rednecks do.


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## Midnight Marauder (Jun 25, 2009)

More "southern" dialect:

yaonto -- "We goin to da mall, yaonto?"

Sea Knees -- "Ya'll seenees yet?"

Sea Gnat -- "I seenat already."

Sea Nose -- You get the idea. Sea Nose, Sea Nis, etc.

My favorite might be, "undermine."

As in, "Yeah I wanna meet the girl that has the partment undermine."

There's thousands.


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## KittenKoder (Jun 25, 2009)

I miss Arizona, going back there someday for good. Tucson ...


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## Epsilon Delta (Jun 25, 2009)

Is the south really like that? The closest place I've ever been is Virginia, and I only went there for a party - I lived in Maryland. It wasn't even Americans, it was some Burmese commune. 

AOSIdhAPSDOi


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## DamnYankee (Jun 25, 2009)

Epsilon Delta said:


> Is the south really like that? The closest place I've ever been is Virginia, and I only went there for a party - I lived in Maryland. It wasn't even Americans, it was some Burmese commune.
> 
> AOSIdhAPSDOi




Lemme 'splain it to you this way. Northern Virginia is to Southern Virginia as North Jersey is to South Jersey -- it's like two different countries!


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## DamnYankee (Jun 25, 2009)

Gunny said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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> 
> > In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
> ...



Usually comes just before "He needed killin'"....


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## Epsilon Delta (Jun 25, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> Epsilon Delta said:
> 
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> > Is the south really like that? The closest place I've ever been is Virginia, and I only went there for a party - I lived in Maryland. It wasn't even Americans, it was some Burmese commune.
> ...



Ahhh, that makes a lot of sense. We even say that here between the East side of town and the West side of town- and we're only 7 miles apart!


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## editec (Jun 25, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.


 
In Maine, if you think you're in a ditch? You're probably still on the road and just hit one of our potholes. Just keep moving or they won't find you or your car till late spring



> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.


 
Here you can also get that wedding dress and motorcycle parts. Don't eat ANY food in ANY store or resturant in Maine unless its fresh seafood.



> Remember, "Y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive.


 
That's wicked funny how you flatlanders talk.



> Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'


 
Get used to being invisible to the locals for at least your twenty years in this neighborhood.



> Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.


 


> Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.


 
At least your locals talk.



> The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'," as in big ol' truck or big ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.
> 
> The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper


 
My PA accent is all stove into hell.



> Be advised that "He needed killin' " is a valid defense here.


 
The defence hereabouts is I thought _I saw a whitetail and besides what's a woman doing wearing white mittens in her back yard during huntin' season anyway?_



> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all watch this," you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say


 
Same here.



> If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.


 
Here when it hits 50 degrees the locals start bitching about the heat.



> Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.


 
Here don't be surprised to discover the kid on that $5000 four wheeler lives in a shed with his twenlve brother and sisters. They live on foodstamps to buy White bread and beans, but daddy owns four bass boats, two motor cycles and there's eleven parts cars in the front yard.



> In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.


 
The grass grows just fine around the wrecked cars.




> AND REMEMBER:
> If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, jus' 'cause the cat had kittens in the oven, don't mean we're gonna call 'em biscuits.


 
Here, too.

Locals call this place Maine, but I think of it as Alabama North.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 25, 2009)

Amanda said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
> 
> 
> > In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
> ...




You'd be surprised how many Southerners there are around here -- mostly black. Been to some of their Sunday services, and do they know how to "Praise the Lord!". 

Oh, and every chance I get to go back for a visit, my very favorite ice cream store sells EVERYTHING.....


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## Luissa (Jun 25, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> Epsilon Delta said:
> 
> 
> > Is the south really like that? The closest place I've ever been is Virginia, and I only went there for a party - I lived in Maryland. It wasn't even Americans, it was some Burmese commune.
> ...


Oh! my friend who went to Virginia Tech gets real pissed when his dad who lived in Northern Virginia calls it slower virginia in reference to south virginia.


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## Luissa (Jun 25, 2009)

Gunny said:


> Luissa said:
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> 
> > hilarious and those are just some of the reasons I will never live in the south!
> ...



yes I have so shut your mouth!

Last night it was muggy here because an incoming storm, I hate it when it is muggy which is another reason why I will never live in the south. MY family is from the south but you will never see me return. I have never seen a possum and I want it to stay that way unless it is on vacation in New Orleans during Mardi Gra. Where I live are insects expcept pine beetles are normal size and we don't have spiders that could eat you or anything called an alligator fish.


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## Amanda (Jun 25, 2009)

Luissa said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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I don't see anything wrong with taking a moment to collect your thoughts. I've been called dumb and stupid all my life. So much I believed it for a long time. I don't think that way anymore, but lots of people still think that about me. There's no shame in thinking a little bit before you respond. Most of you would prolly think I'm dumb as shit the way I pause before responding on here. I don't care tho, you can think I'm stupid if you want. I don't believe being smart made anyone happy. I'm happy most of the time and if that makes me dumb then so be it. I'd rather be happy than smart. Course, you're free to live your life as you see fit, I would never deny anyone that option.


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## dilloduck (Jun 25, 2009)

Amanda said:


> Luissa said:
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One of my great pleasures in life is to watch a yankee who has made the mistake of underestimating the brains of a redneck who talks dumb.


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## Annie (Jun 25, 2009)

dilloduck said:


> Amanda said:
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I 'hear' you. Same thing happens to those that think because one cannot hear, that one cannot think. Devastating results at times.


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## Annie (Jun 25, 2009)

Luissa said:


> Gunny said:
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Well c'mon up to Chicago, we've plenty of opossums and raccoons too. Like foxes? Wolves? Deer? Bears? Coyotes? All around here.


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## Phoenix (Jun 25, 2009)

Annie said:


> Luissa said:
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> > yes I have so shut your mouth!
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Hmmm ... if she doesn't like muggy, she better not come to IL.  It's gross outside right now.


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## Luissa (Jun 25, 2009)

Annie said:


> Luissa said:
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no foxes here but we get plenty of raccoons, even had some that would sleep on our roof one summer, I will still never know if we I came home stoned once if there were really five raccoons in my front hard.
We also have coyotes, I have had a few cats killed by them. We also get moose, they even like to come into town. I was at my friend's apartment once and I saw one in her parking lot early in the morning which no one believed me until it was on the news. As for deer we have a buck that lives on the back road to the college I go to plus there is deer all over the area.


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## sealybobo (Jun 25, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. (IF YOU ARE BLACK, BE VERY AFRAID)
> 
> Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it. (ANAL LUBRICATION FOR WHEN THEY MAKE YOU SQUEAL LIKE A PIG)
> 
> ...



This is great!  I make fun of people down south on USMB but I really do like the culture.  

And you forgot:  Don't be alarmed if a southern says he wants to introduce you to his wife and sister and only one woman walks up.


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## Annie (Jun 25, 2009)

Luissa said:


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Well for you should have said, 'C'mon down'.  No Moose, but deers don't mind fences. They just hop them. Idiots around here feed all sorts of wildlife, then wonder why they aren't afraid of humans. I'm waiting for the first wolf, fox, bear attack on a child. Stupid people!


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## Phoenix (Jun 25, 2009)

sealybobo said:


> This is great!  I make fun of people down south on USMB but I really do like the culture.
> 
> And you forgot:  Don't be alarmed if a southern says he wants to introduce you to his wife and sister and only one woman walks up.



Hmmmm ... a yooper?  


You Know You Are A True Michigander (Yooper) When:


1. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going down south past Petosky or Green Bay for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once!
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
6. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."
7. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car & your girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at Menard's at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You refer to the Wolverines as "we."
16. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
17. You can identify an Ohio and Wisconsin accent.
18. You have no problem spelling Escanaba.
19. You consider the lower Peninsula exotic. ya hey!
20. You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Stroh's.
21. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce.
22. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
23. Down south to you means south of Da bridge, the deep south is south of Detroit.
24. A brat is something you eat.
25. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.
26. You go out to fish fry every Friday at the Elks, Moose or VFW.
27. You know how to polka.
28. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
29. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
30. Ya actch'lly understand dese jokes, & den you forward dem to all yer Michigander friends.


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## Annie (Jun 25, 2009)

Eve said:


> sealybobo said:
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> > This is great!  I make fun of people down south on USMB but I really do like the culture.
> ...



We Chicagoans aren't as nuanced, but haven't a problem grilling outdoors at -10F or running out in shirt sleeves at 5F. LOL!


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## sealybobo (Jun 25, 2009)

Annie said:


> Luissa said:
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Stranger Among Bears : Richard Terry : Animal Planet

I happened to be flipping channels when I ran across this show about a guy who's been living with Black and Grizzley bears for 20 years.  He carries no gun or pepper spray.  He has been bit, but not seriously.  And he does hold a stick when he's hanging with the Grizzley's, because they are just WILD AS SHIT.  So occasionally he has to pop them in the nose with the stick.  Alaska is trying to stop him.  And yes, he feeds them and Alaska is mad because he's endangering other people, because now these bears see people as a food source.  

A hunter came onto his land and he was yelling at the hunter, then he asked the hunter if he wanted to see his bears, and the guy put down his rifle, but kept his side arm of course, and then he brought back his father in law to see for himself this guy living with the bears.

The played back to back to back episodes and I couldn't stop watching.  The bears seem like big aggressive dogs.  Yes they are more wild and less tamable, but they really aren't man eaters.  Usually they are surprised when they attack.  And once they bite you, well, may as well fill up.  

In Michigan we have black bear and wild cats/lynks/bobcat.  One time a friend of mine saw a deer walking about 50 feet from his blind and all of the sudden a cat jumped out of a tree and tore at the deers neck.  He said he saw blood and fur where it happened and the cat probably stalked his prey and just let it bleed out.  Or the deer got away.  

But I love that shit.  I would love to live in Alaska for a year.


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## Phoenix (Jun 25, 2009)

Annie said:


> We Chicagoans aren't as nuanced, but haven't a problem grilling outdoors at -10F or running out in shirt sleeves at 5F. LOL!



Yup - we who live in "Illinoiz" have gotten some good practice of snow driving the past couple years, haven't we?


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## Annie (Jun 25, 2009)

Eve said:


> Annie said:
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> > We Chicagoans aren't as nuanced, but haven't a problem grilling outdoors at -10F or running out in shirt sleeves at 5F. LOL!
> ...



Indeed. I've been considering filing grievances about the lack of snow days.


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## Phoenix (Jun 25, 2009)

Annie said:


> Indeed. I've been considering filing grievances about the lack of snow days.



Right.  You better get on that.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 25, 2009)

Luissa said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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Well it IS definitely slower. They sure can put together a full-course breakfast in a hurry though!


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## AVG-JOE (Jun 25, 2009)

Amanda said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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> > In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
> ...



I think I'm in love!

(Don't tell Echo )

-Joe


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## Gunny (Jun 25, 2009)

Midnight Marauder said:


> More "southern" dialect:
> 
> yaonto -- "We goin to da mall, yaonto?"
> 
> ...



That's not Southern -- that's hillbilly.  I've heard West Virginians sound worse.

Then there's my friend from New H-A-A-M-shuh ...


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## Luissa (Jun 25, 2009)

Annie said:


> Luissa said:
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In Yellowstone if you feed a bear they have to kill it, that is why you will always see bumper stickers from there that say " Don't Feed the Bears".
My boss had a moose plow through her fence and hang out for awhile, they are always coming into town. When I saw the moose it was near downtown and no where near wilderness.


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## Luissa (Jun 25, 2009)

Gunny said:


> Midnight Marauder said:
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I work with this guy from West Virginia who is complete moron hillbilly with a different Nascar shirt for every day of the week. They are always yelling possum at him for some reason.


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## Phoenix (Jun 25, 2009)

Luissa said:


> In Yellowstone if you feed a bear they have to kill it, that is why you will always see bumper stickers from there that say " Don't Feed the Bears".
> My boss had a moose plow through her fence and hang out for awhile, they are always coming into town. When I saw the moose it was near downtown and no where near wilderness.



In Yellowstone, if you're close enough to feed the bears, the bears get fed - one way or another.

The park also has to issue stupidity warnings for the people who think it would be cute to pose their child with/on a buffalo/bear/moose/male elk in full velvet.  Because it's just like a big petting zoo with really pretty scenery, right?


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## Gunny (Jun 25, 2009)

Luissa said:


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So don't live here.  Nobody asked you, and I doubt with your attitude, anyone ever asked you to.


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## Gunny (Jun 25, 2009)

Annie said:


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I like the fools that talk to blind people real loud and slow.


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## Midnight Marauder (Jun 25, 2009)

Gunny said:


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Hence, the quotation marks.


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## Gunny (Jun 25, 2009)

Annie said:


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They're all around everywhere.  Luissa just hasn't gotten out from the asphalt jungle much, and apparently, can't fathom the thought of seeing what's beyond a city-lit sky with no stars and is willing to grasp on a bunch of bullshit rhetoric to justify it.


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## Gunny (Jun 25, 2009)

sealybobo said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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> > In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for. (IF YOU ARE BLACK, BE VERY AFRAID)
> ...



Don't have to go South for that.  Eerie, PA will do.


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## Midnight Marauder (Jun 25, 2009)

For my radio show I do a character called "Red Neckerson." Red is alot of fun, likes to do prank calls. Here's a sample:

http://eipnetworks.com/podpress_trac/web/39/0/JGW.MP3


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## xotoxi (Jun 25, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.


 
Should I be concerned if one of them has a banjo?


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## Luissa (Jun 25, 2009)

Gunny said:


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hey asshole I live in area where there are about a dozen ski resorts, the columbia gorge, and one of the largest native american reservations in this country.There are more lakes in my area then you have probably seen. YOu have never been to where I live so stop assuming shit. Just because we don't have possums and humidity doesn't mean I live in a concret jungle. I could walk two minutes from my house and be a wild life preserve. I also spend a week in wyomning on my brother's ranch every year that is more out of the middle of no where then you have ever seen. SO why don't you take the stick that has been in your ass for the last week and then shove back in there for me.


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## Phoenix (Jun 25, 2009)

xotoxi said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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> > In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
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Yes.  

run like the wind, xotoxi!


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## Luissa (Jun 26, 2009)

Gunny said:


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and yes I was actually asked by a guy who was moving down there for an army and it was the best decision I made not to go down there. And I am sorry I am afraid of large spiders, you can blame my brother for that one.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 26, 2009)

Gunny said:


> Midnight Marauder said:
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Got any from Bah-stun?  LMAO!


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## DamnYankee (Jun 26, 2009)

Annie said:


> Well for you should have said, 'C'mon down'.  No Moose, but deers don't mind fences. They just hop them. Idiots around here feed all sorts of wildlife, then wonder why they aren't afraid of humans. I'm waiting for the first wolf, fox, bear attack on a child. Stupid people!



Hell.... They do that all over, Annie.  The bears just LUV the people!


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## DamnYankee (Jun 26, 2009)

dilloduck said:


> One of my great pleasures in life is to watch a yankee who has made the mistake of underestimating the brains of a redneck who talks dumb.



Best "redneck" story from my kin was about this guy who ran down another guy he got into an argument with. Looked over his shoulder through the back window or his truck and said, "Dayum, did I jest run over him?" and backs (over him) up to take a better look. "Yup, I did," as he peers through the windshield. "Sorry, man. Y'all got in my way." Puts truck in drive, and floors it.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 26, 2009)

Gunny said:


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She ought not move to Joisey either....


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## Douger (Jun 26, 2009)

That thar iron is hardern a weddin dick.
I hitim so hard he was squealin like a broke dick dog.
Thissy here knife is sharper than a ministers tongue.
This damn bolt is tightern a nuns pussy.
That thar sumbish has gotta be the dumbest ass ever ta shit tween a paira boots.

I could go on an on an on. I worked at the railroad in SW Va. and traveled through West BY GOD Va. doing repairs.
I have a PHD in Redneckizm.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 26, 2009)

Douger said:


> That thar iron is hardern a weddin dick.
> I hitim so hard he was squealin like a broke dick dog.
> Thissy here knife is sharper than a ministers tongue.
> This damn bolt is tightern a nuns pussy.
> ...



Careful now.... You're speakin' of my kinfolk....


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## Douger (Jun 26, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> Douger said:
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> > That thar iron is hardern a weddin dick.
> ...



Gawd Blass Ye ! Jeziz luvz ya too. Now pass me that bottle an see if yer sweet lil sisser wantsta crawl under thissy here table fer a few minits.


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## sealybobo (Jun 26, 2009)

Eve said:


> sealybobo said:
> 
> 
> > This is great!  I make fun of people down south on USMB but I really do like the culture.
> ...



Ever see this movie with Jeff Daniels?

Escanaba in da Moonlight (2001)

Escanaba in da Moonlight.  

Jeff Daniels is the only guy in the UP who has never shot a buck.  They call him the Buckless YOUper.

We watch this at Deer Camp.  I have to say the UP is another world.  Should be its own state.  I've never been but want to go.


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## Phoenix (Jun 26, 2009)

sealybobo said:


> Ever see this movie with Jeff Daniels?
> 
> Escanaba in da Moonlight (2001)
> 
> ...



I have that movie.  It's a good 'un.


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## Gunny (Jun 26, 2009)

Luissa said:


> Gunny said:
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> > Annie said:
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Think you're my wife now or something calling me "hey asshole"?

You have no idea whether or not I've been where you live.  There aren't too many places I haven't been and your piddly little world you seem so impressed by impresses ME not.  

Just cuz you don't SEE possums doesn't mean you don't have any.  But I'll take your word for it.  Must some wonderful place you live if even trashy, no-account scavengers like possums snub their noses at it.


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## Gunny (Jun 26, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> Gunny said:
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> > Midnight Marauder said:
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Surprisingly enough, it dawned on me one day 3 of my mods are from Bah-stun.  Who'da ever thunk THAT?


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## Luissa (Jun 26, 2009)

Gunny said:


> Luissa said:
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we have marmots they are way better than your little ass possums. They make your possums look like an oversized rats. ANd I lived here for along time and have never seen one. And don't pretend like you have ever been here, we tend to eat Texans like you in our granola.
And I also have a feeling if you did have a wife she would call you an asshole all the time.


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## Luissa (Jun 26, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> Gunny said:
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Don't worry I never plan on it, for one I don't want to end up with cement shoes!
I might visit there soon since one of my best friends lives in Jersey City and man do I love the Real Housewives of New Jersey. But if it is muggy there and has large spiders you can bet I don't plan on moving there.


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## GHook93 (Jun 26, 2009)

You forgot to say tune up on the Spanish!

Also TexMex is not a Mexican living in Texas!



ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
> 
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.
> 
> ...


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## Luissa (Jun 26, 2009)

Gunny said:


> Luissa said:
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and also there is a reason they call the parks department Spokane Parks and Detonation.


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## Amanda (Jun 26, 2009)

Snobs crack me up. The 1st 1's to demean others and the 1st 1's to need help. Can't tell you how many times my Daddy and brothers pulled snobs out of a ditch in a snow storm, and they bitch and complain the whole time. I remember being about 10 with my bro Josh about 13 and pulling these people out. Daddy says to Josh to hook the chain to the car and they start caterwauling about being careful, blah blah. Fuck... we'd pulled 3 others out already and my bro knows where to put a hook so it won't damage the car. And besides what would you rather freeze to death or get a bent tie rod? Fuckin snobs.


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## Luissa (Jun 26, 2009)

Amanda said:


> Snobs crack me up. The 1st 1's to demean others and the 1st 1's to need help. Can't tell you how many times my Daddy and brothers pulled snobs out of a ditch in a snow storm, and they bitch and complain the whole time. I remember being about 10 with my bro Josh about 13 and pulling these people out. Daddy says to Josh to hook the chain to the car and they start caterwauling about being careful, blah blah. Fuck... we'd pulled 3 others out already and my bro knows where to put a hook so it won't damage the car. And besides what would you rather freeze to death or get a bent tie rod? Fuckin snobs.


I hope you are not talking about me because I have shoveled more snow than you will in lifetime and as for digging people out, I didn't leave it to my brothers to do that for me.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 26, 2009)

Douger said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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I'm an only child.... Will I do?


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## DamnYankee (Jun 26, 2009)

Luissa said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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 _<chuckle>_  If ya think *that's* real, don't bother....


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## Luissa (Jun 26, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> Luissa said:
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I don't think it is real completly but man I sure would love to see someone flip a table in my life time.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 26, 2009)

Luissa said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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It's easy really.... Just get mad.... <chuckle>


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## Amanda (Jun 26, 2009)

Luissa said:


> Amanda said:
> 
> 
> > Snobs crack me up. The 1st 1's to demean others and the 1st 1's to need help. Can't tell you how many times my Daddy and brothers pulled snobs out of a ditch in a snow storm, and they bitch and complain the whole time. I remember being about 10 with my bro Josh about 13 and pulling these people out. Daddy says to Josh to hook the chain to the car and they start caterwauling about being careful, blah blah. Fuck... we'd pulled 3 others out already and my bro knows where to put a hook so it won't damage the car. And besides what would you rather freeze to death or get a bent tie rod? Fuckin snobs.
> ...





Hit a little too close to home, huh?

You've been a snob throughout this thread with all your "...and that's another reason I'd never live in the South" gibberish. You've measured how much snow you've shoveled? That's great. I guess it's possible cos you also know everywhere Gunny has travelled. And how do you know how many people I helped to get out of a ditch? I related a story that happened when I was 10. You're so awesome how many people did you use your 4x4 to pull out of a ditch when you were 10? 

You have truly made my day with your response, because not only are you thrashing around in a hilarious manner, but you're also driving home my point about snobs better than I ever could have. Good job!


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## Missourian (Jun 26, 2009)

My tractor-trailer broke down yesterday in Ozark Arkansas. I broke a gear in the front differential, so I wasn't going anywhere. I had a full load of iron pipe...80,000 pounds of truck, trailer and load stuck on the off-ramp at exit 37.

No less than 30 people in cars, pickups and semis stopped to ask if I needed help in thirty minutes and two different truckers dropped their trailers to pull my broke down rig to the repair shop a mile away, one pulling the tractor while the other hooked to the trailer, saving me a $400 wrecker bill. Within 45 minutes of breaking down it was three pm and I was at the shop begging the two truckers to take a few dollars as a token of my appreciation but of course they refused to accept anything but my thanks and a handshake.

I figured I would be down for at least a week, but the mechanics at the repair shop in Ozark jumped right into the differential and had it apart in 3 hours, four of them working on it together one hour after closing time. I believe they would have worked into the night if they could have gotten their hands on a replacement part at that hour.

By morning they had the part and again four mechanics worked for three hours to get the differential back together and they had finished by noon. Four mechanics had worked 6 hours to repair my truck...that's 24 man hours.

They billed me for FOUR HOURS OF LABOR, the price of the part and some gear oil.

Within 24 hours my truck was fixed and I was back on the road in time to make my Friday delivery and I am in my own bed in Missouri tonight posting this.

So next time I head thru, I'll drop off a couple cases of beer...as one good turn deserves another.

Is it any wonder why I live in the south?

Not to me it ain't.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 27, 2009)

Missourian said:


> My tractor-trailer broke down yesterday in Ozark Arkansas. I broke a gear in the front differential, so I wasn't going anywhere. I had a full load of iron pipe...80,000 pounds of truck, trailer and load stuck on the off-ramp at exit 37.
> 
> No less than 30 people in cars, pickups and semis stopped to ask if I needed help in thirty minutes and two different truckers dropped their trailers to pull my broke down rig to the repair shop a mile away, one pulling the tractor while the other hooked to the trailer, saving me a $400 wrecker bill. Within 45 minutes of breaking down it was three pm and I was at the shop begging the two truckers to take a few dollars as a token of my appreciation but of course they refused to accept anything but my thanks and a handshake.
> 
> ...




I've always been a city girl, tho not always quite so far north, but the roots in the family tree are deep. Your story reminded me of one of the best experiences I ever had on a trip down there.

I do love visiting, at least once a year. Never know when another family member isn't going to make it to the next reunion. But I've always been a "city girl" despite the roots. One great story deserves another though.....

One trip down, oldest son was 11 I think, the youngest just a toddler. Never could get the daughter to join us (the Jersey grandparents never seemed to mind). We're doing an all-nighter (almost) after work on a Friday to get to my family reunion on time. One last pit stop needed, off I-81 in northern VA, about 11 p.m. Great... Full tank of gas will get us the rest of the way -- got a snack and a drink -- we're good to go again.

About 2:30, we're pullin' into the parking lot of Mom's apartment, finally ready to get a couple of hours of sleep before the party begins. Just hours later, the annual BBQ is in full swing, and everyone is catching up and reminiscing. The food line has thinned out, the catching up is mingled with face stuffing.

Suddenly, a camera begins clicking. Oh dayum.... I'm missing some Kodak moments.... Reaching into my bag for the camera, I realize something is missing. I'm sure the color drained from my face, and my heart was pounding. Looking at hubby and my Mom I say, "Ummmm.... Did you see my wallet at the house?"

Of course, there was no recollection of having seen it there, but the reassuring words begin to flow. "Now don't worry. I'm sure it's on the table."  "When was the last time you had it?"  "I don't remember!" Now aside from the fact the my license and other ID is in there, you need to know that I didn't have any credit cards then. You do understand what that means doncha? Cash.... About $900 worth.

Trying not to panic, which isn't working too well, the older son takes over photo duty. By the time the "clean up" was over, I was pacing back and forth like a wild cat. Was also planning on a visit to one of the Uncle's this evening. "Shit...." I mumble under my breath. Went to find him and the family to give an explanation, so, of course, he says, "No problem. We'll stop by the house instead."

Half hour or so later, I'm turning the apartment upside down, desperately hoping that I knocked the bag over somewhere and the wallet is lying on the floor. The helpers are checking the tables and the nightstands. I finally give up after 20 minutes.... It just wasn't there. Where in hell is it?

Hubby says, "You think you left it at the place we stopped at last night?" "Oh my God.... I don't even remember where we were!" The oldest son, who I wasn't even sure was fully awake at the time, pipes up, "It was exit 298, Mom." WTF? How the hell did he remember that?! 

Unk says, "That's Strasburg, I think. Almost clear up to Winchester." We're at exit 42. Calm as could be, he says, "I can get a hold of the State Police and they can call up there and see if it's there." I'm thinkin', "Yeah, right!" but, say "You think they'll do that?"  "Don't see why not," Unk says, and picks up the phone.

A few minutes later, he says, "It's there. The night clerk put it away and let the next shift know, 'cause he was sure it would be missed." I sank in a chair, just shocked. I'm damned sure if I'd left it anywhere at home, it would have been gone in a New York minute. 

When I had collected myself, I picked up the phone and called the place. Let them know who I was. "Oh yes maam. It's right here. We're keepin' it for ya. Whenever ya'll git here will be fine."  "I'll be there sometime tomorrow. Thank you.... Thank you so much...."  They wouldn't take so much as coffee money for their kindness and honesty. Gave me a little faith in humanity that week.


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## Luissa (Jun 27, 2009)

Amanda said:


> Luissa said:
> 
> 
> > Amanda said:
> ...


giving the fact I was joking about the south thing, I think it hit a little close to home for you?? And how did I know you were ten, did you mention that in your post.
And I love how people always like to think people from the north are snobs. And you know what I don't really give a shit if you think I am one. I have an opinion about people and I am not afraid to say it. I get sick of people acting like you have pretend to like someone all the time because you don't want to hurt their feelings.
And as for Gunny, he didn't make any assumptions in his post at all???? BEcause he sure knows how much time I have spent outdoors or traveling.
And as for shoveling snow, I had a job shoveling snow for three winters at 100 acre park, I shoveled more snow than most people who have never do it for a living. So if you did for eight hours a day for three to four months out of the year you could have shoveled more snow than me.


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## Luissa (Jun 27, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> Luissa said:
> 
> 
> > ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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DOn't ya know us northerner's are too prim and proper and snobish to loose our temper and flip a table.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 27, 2009)

Luissa said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
> 
> 
> > Luissa said:
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Scuse me?? What part of the north are YOU from?  LMAO


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## Luissa (Jun 27, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> Luissa said:
> 
> 
> > ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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washington so all we do here is hug trees and eat granola and maybe do meth once in awhile. We do get the occasional people from this area that bomb clinics, shoot up museams, or other such things.


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## Oddball (Jun 28, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
> 
> Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store..... do not buy food at this store.
> 
> ...



Also, drop "to be" from any  verbal construct that describes anything what needs doing.....For example: "My car needs fixed", or "My gun needs cleaned".

If your pen leaked all over your new white shirt, you "roont" it.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 28, 2009)

Luissa said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
> 
> 
> > Luissa said:
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Well.... That explains it.... You're from the north_west_, not the north....


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## Luissa (Jun 28, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> Luissa said:
> 
> 
> > ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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I am from the land of Chevy Kehoe and Richard Butler.
And the 2nd worst meth problem.


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## DamnYankee (Jun 28, 2009)

Luissa said:


> ALLBizFR0M925 said:
> 
> 
> > Luissa said:
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Your point?


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## Amanda (Jun 29, 2009)

Luissa said:


> giving the fact I was joking about the south thing, I think it hit a little close to home for you?? And how did I know you were ten, did you mention that in your post.




Um, let's see, did I?



Amanda said:


> . I remember *being about 10* with my bro Josh about 13 and pulling these people out. Daddy says to Josh to hook the chain to the car and they start caterwauling about being careful, blah blah.



Yup, looks like I did. I think I also mentioned something about reading comprehension too. Should I find that quote as well? 



Luissa said:


> And I love how people always like to think people from the north are snobs.



You must because you're doing a bang up job of keeping the stereotype alive and well.



Luissa said:


> And you know what I don't really give a shit if you think I am one.



Obviously... 



Luissa said:


> I have an opinion about people and I am not afraid to say it. I get sick of people acting like you have pretend to like someone all the time because you don't want to hurt their feelings.



careful, you're starting to sound like a conservative.



Luissa said:


> And as for Gunny, he didn't make any assumptions in his post at all???? BEcause he sure knows how much time I have spent outdoors or traveling.



Oh ok, as long as that makes what you did alright I guess there's nothing to discuss. I'll have to keep this sort of thinking in mind for future threads.



Luissa said:


> And as for shoveling snow, I had a job shoveling snow for three winters at 100 acre park, I shoveled more snow than most people who have never do it for a living. So if you did for eight hours a day for three to four months out of the year you could have shoveled more snow than me.



Um.... who the fuck cares? I'm not talking about shoveling for money, I'm talking about stopping and helping people because you have a good heart. I guess that slipped past you. Go back and read Missourian's post about how was helped out, that's what I'm talking about. That's how we get things done in the South. I guess all that kindness and such doesn't hold much appeal for you. We talk funny and have bad manners, that's surely more important than reaching out to people in need. 

This thread is just hilarious, I can't wait to see your startling comeback.


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## Luissa (Jun 29, 2009)

Amanda said:


> Luissa said:
> 
> 
> > giving the fact I was joking about the south thing, I think it hit a little close to home for you?? And how did I know you were ten, did you mention that in your post.
> ...


All that kindness? How would you know what I do, for one I don't go around bragging about it to make myself look better than people.
And as for being a snob, you are probably right I don't really like most people so I guess I would be a snob. I help people in my ways but I also don't in certain situations because where I live you will get your car stolen or robbed. 
But like I stated before we don't have humidity and large spiders so where I live holds a certain appeal to me.


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## Luissa (Jun 29, 2009)

ALLBizFR0M925 said:


> Luissa said:
> 
> 
> > ALLBizFR0M925 said:
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I had a point when I wrote it the other day but now I forget. Sorry!


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