# Breaking News: Conservatives blame Obama for earthquake



## Vast LWC (Aug 23, 2011)

A FoxNews poll shows that 64% of people polled that identify themselves as "Conservatives" feel that Obama is to blame for the earthquake that occurred at approximately 2:00 PM EST in Virginia.

When pressed further, respondents claimed that they felt the Obama administration was causing earthquakes to test the effectiveness of Obama-care in a crisis situation.

In a prepared statement, Congresswoman Michelle Bachman said "Shame on you President Obama, you should know better than to test your Liberal/Intellectual Elitist/Socialist/Mad Scientist Earthquake Machines on US soil!". 

Conservative commentator/author Anne Coulter said, "Oh yeah, he did it, but what would you expect from a Liberal? It's well known that FDR used HIS earthquake machine back in the 30's to sabotage our recovery from the Great Depression."


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## Jarhead (Aug 23, 2011)

Well...we dont actually have proof he caused it. We just find it suspicious that it happened when he was out of the area.


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## highway234 (Aug 23, 2011)

Vast LWC said:


> A FoxNews poll shows that 64% of people polled that identify themselves as "Conservatives" feel that Obama is to blame for the earthquake that occurred at approximately 2:00 PM EST in Virginia.
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> When pressed further, respondents claimed that they felt the Obama administration was causing earthquakes to test the effectiveness of Obama-care in a crisis situation.
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> ...



you joke but i guarantee someone will actually do it. 

to be fair, someone on MY side will probably blame the earthquake on global warming, and i'll have to facepalm.


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## Truthmatters (Aug 23, 2011)

God just hates having a black man as president.


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## highway234 (Aug 23, 2011)

maybe it'll turn out they do a lot of explosive fracking in mineral virginia and i can blame big oil. i wanna blame someone! i do!


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## Dot Com (Aug 23, 2011)

The right-wingnuts do blame everything on Obama


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## Sallow (Aug 23, 2011)

Jarhead said:


> Well...we dont actually have proof he caused it. We just find it suspicious that it happened when he was out of the area.



It was a "messiah thing".

I heard he was testing a brand spanking new power. The power to move mountains.

Then the teleprompters shorted out..


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## PoliticalChic (Aug 23, 2011)

Well...Obama caused it....but look at the tectonic plates that Bush left him!!!!


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## The Infidel (Aug 23, 2011)

Sallow said:


> Jarhead said:
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> > Well...we dont actually have proof he caused it. We just find it suspicious that it happened when he was out of the area.
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## Jarhead (Aug 23, 2011)

PoliticalChic said:


> Well...Obama caused it....but look at the tectonic plates that Bush left him!!!!



Obama inherited unstable tetonic plates


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## The Infidel (Aug 23, 2011)

PoliticalChic said:


> Well...Obama caused it....but look at the tectonic plates that Bush left him!!!!



This is fun...


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## Jarhead (Aug 23, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


> God just hates having a black man as president.



you cant enjoy a little humor without criticizing religion and bringing up race.
You really need to lighten up. Even your humor is heavy.


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## presence06 (Aug 23, 2011)

He was "golfing" God was just trying to help him on the back 9.....


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## FuelRod (Aug 23, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


> God just hates having a black man as president.



I thought your kind of people thought God was black.


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## uscitizen (Aug 23, 2011)

Everyone are racists.
They are prejudiced about the presidential race.


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## uscitizen (Aug 23, 2011)

FuelRod said:


> Truthmatters said:
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Actually she is sort of a mottly green.


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## ClosedCaption (Aug 23, 2011)

Ryan was quoted as saying "Its not the earthquake, its the spending!"


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## Dude111 (Aug 23, 2011)

Jarhead said:
			
		

> Well...we dont actually have proof he caused it. We just find it suspicious that it happened when he was out of the area.


Well i do feel its suspicious this happend RIGHT WHEN IT WAS FOUND OUT THEY LIED ABOUT LIBYA (Which many of us thought the story was BS)


It would make sense they would use HAARP to cause a little disturbance like this that doesnt hurt anyone,etc TO GET PEOPLE NOT THINKING ABOUT LIBYA....


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## California Girl (Aug 23, 2011)

uscitizen said:


> Everyone are racists.
> They are prejudiced about the presidential race.



You're a bigot for calling it a 'race'. It's not fair if only the guy who can run the fastest wins.


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## FuelRod (Aug 23, 2011)

uscitizen said:


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Your god sounds like Kermit the Frog.


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## RDD_1210 (Aug 23, 2011)

I thought the earthquake was Reagan rolling over in his grave over what has become of the Republican party.


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## highway234 (Aug 23, 2011)

if obama caused the earthquake, it's only because the republicans told him to or else they'd ruin the economy.


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## Jarhead (Aug 23, 2011)

I just checked. Kenya was NOT affectd by the earthquake. That seals the deal. It was obviously caused by Obama.


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## rightwinger (Aug 23, 2011)

Where are all the Republicans screaming that Obama needs to terminate his vacation to prevent further earthquakes?


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## bigbull (Aug 23, 2011)

Well, I guess now we'll finally have some shovel-ready jobs


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## Truthmatters (Aug 23, 2011)

Jarhead said:


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It was as joke you silly git


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## elvis (Aug 23, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


> God just hates having a black man as president.



Except we don't have a black man as President, you stupid fuck.


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## uscitizen (Aug 23, 2011)

California Girl said:


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Naah it is whomever can buy the biggest shoes.
it is a bought race.


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## presence06 (Aug 23, 2011)

the Tea Party! They did it. They want to scare you. 

All your money are belong to us.


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## California Girl (Aug 23, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


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Doesn't it tell you something when people can't tell that you're joking?


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## Jarhead (Aug 23, 2011)

rightwinger said:


> Where are all the Republicans screaming that Obama needs to terminate his vacation to prevent further earthquakes?



well....he should you know.


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## California Girl (Aug 23, 2011)

uscitizen said:


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Facking racist.


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## uscitizen (Aug 23, 2011)

FuelRod said:


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there is some resemblance.

Prove me wrong.  Show me a picture.


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## Jarhead (Aug 23, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


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My point exactly.

Whereas everyone elses jokes pretty much revolved around partisnaship and spoof...yours borught in race and religion....two very sensitive issues.

You truly do not know how to have fun. That is quite obvious.


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## Two Thumbs (Aug 23, 2011)

So far, and I kid you not, I have read "honest" claims that it's HAARP or all the Fracking we are doing.

But lets not mention all the coal mines, coal is black and that's just racist.

So I'm going with the Butterfly effect.

Not the theory, I think there was a public showing of the movie, and everyone just decided to leave all at once, and the stampede caused the quack.


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## Truthmatters (Aug 23, 2011)

Jarhead said:


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You truely know how to hate non stop


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## highway234 (Aug 23, 2011)

California Girl said:


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i could tell. not sure why you couldn't.


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## Truthmatters (Aug 23, 2011)

a brain filled with hate


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## Two Thumbs (Aug 23, 2011)

California Girl said:


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She told me she doesn't tell jokes.

so


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## FuelRod (Aug 23, 2011)

uscitizen said:


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You are welcome to worship whatever you would like in this country.
My money is on the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob.


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## elvis (Aug 23, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


> a brain filled with hate



When did that start for you?  What triggered it?


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## Missourian (Aug 23, 2011)

Scientists have determine Obama policies are indeed responsible for today's earthquake in Washington:




> The U.S.G.S. was puzzled today by the multiple epicenters in the area surrounding the nations capitol recorded during the 5.8 magnitude earthquake.
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> After further investigation,  it was discovered that these epicenters were focused on and around historic cemeteries and national monuments.
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> The cause was eventually determine to be the result of all the founding fathers spinning in their graves.


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## California Girl (Aug 23, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


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You truly know how to lie non stop.


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## presence06 (Aug 23, 2011)

Well, whatever the earthquake didn't destroy I'm sure Irene will.. >.>


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## Jarhead (Aug 23, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


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Just you TM...just you. I hate those that hate.....and thats pretty much all I hate.


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## Wicked Jester (Aug 23, 2011)

Vast LWC said:


> A FoxNews poll shows that 64% of people polled that identify themselves as "Conservatives" feel that Obama is to blame for the earthquake that occurred at approximately 2:00 PM EST in Virginia.
> 
> When pressed further, respondents claimed that they felt the Obama administration was causing earthquakes to test the effectiveness of Obama-care in a crisis situation.
> 
> ...


Well, what else should we have expected?

Christ, all those ATM's, internet laden computers, Tea Partiers, Republicans, Arab Springs, Tsunami's, Japanese Earthquakes, Heat waves, and BAD LUCKS have placed tremendous strain on the area.


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## rightwinger (Aug 23, 2011)

None of this would have happened if Obama was not on vacation


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## BDBoop (Aug 23, 2011)

elvis said:


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Appearances notwithstanding?

Like Halle Berry shouldn't have been announced as the first black woman to win a leading actress Oscar. Right?


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## Wicked Jester (Aug 23, 2011)

BDBoop said:


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Yep!


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## elvis (Aug 23, 2011)

BDBoop said:


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Right.


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## California Girl (Aug 23, 2011)

elvis said:


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It was 'First Black Woman Eva to be Winning'


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## BDBoop (Aug 23, 2011)

Per Pants Full of Macaroni!! at Fark



> It is NEVER too early to blame the Communist Nazi Muslim Socialist Peacenik Elitist Dhimmicrat Man-Child Celebrity Jihadist Appeaser Usurper Dictator Manchurian-Candidate Empty-Suit Tyrant Hypocrite Non-Citizen America-Hater Arugula-Muncher Marxist Terrorist Liberal Leftist Stalinist Welfare-Statist Narcissist Islamofascist Blame-America-Firster Fearmonger Racist Atheist Kenyan Keynesian Militant Flag-Burner Gun-Grabber Union-Thug Anti-Semite Media-Darling Fifth-Columnist Black-Liberationist Abortionist Antichrist Coward Traitor Death-Panelist Evolutionist Fraudster Alinskyite Taxaholic Spendthrift Job-Killer Illegal-Alien Hip-Hop-Barbecuer Grey-Poupon-Supremacist Long-Legged Mackdaddy for anything bad that happens in America.


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## yidnar (Aug 23, 2011)

oh yeah he caused it!!the president has that kind of power!!remember Katrina??


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## KissMy (Aug 23, 2011)

presence06 said:


> He was "golfing" God was just trying to help him on the back 9.....



His ball was next to the cup so he called the military & told them to use HAARP shake things up.


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## Missourian (Aug 24, 2011)

I heard it wasn't an earthquake after all.

When Obama's approval number hit 38%,  his ego collapsed.


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## Wicked Jester (Aug 24, 2011)

Actually, the BUSH FAULT released a lil' energy today.....The plates slipped, and the BUSH FAULT was rockin' DC!


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## ABikerSailor (Aug 24, 2011)

yidnar said:


> oh yeah he caused it!!the president has that kind of power!!remember Katrina??



No wonder Jr. flew over New Orleans and didn't want to come off of vacation.

He was busy working on his hurricane generating powers.

Too bad he caused a catastrophe that his admin couldn't handle.


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## editec (Aug 24, 2011)

*Editec reports ...YOU decide!*​ 
*The Science and Economic Politics of the Earthquake.*​ 

*Unidentified spokeman for the RNC* told reporters that while they cannot _prove _that godless heathen scientists actually caused yesterday's earthquake by _"teaching heretical geo-science to God's children_," they warn that:​ 
_"If we have any other earthquakes, anywhere on earth, in the next few days, that will prove that GOD is angry and is punishing us for being prideful and supporting teachers unions" _​ 
*Unidentified spokeman for the DNC* posit that the earthquake was caused by " _massive income and wealth descrepancies which have destabilized the tectonic plates of North America."_​ 
One noted *east coast internet publisher* (who prefers not to be identified) submits that the earthquakes are: "​ 
".. _entirely the fault of trade imbalances which could ' into the deep bosum of the ocean' bury the entire east coast of North America._​ 
Meanwhile *a bunch of boring old scientists* insist that _"Sometimes an earthquake is just an earthquake!"_​


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## yidnar (Aug 24, 2011)

ABikerSailor said:


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 so you wanted the military and rescue teams to have their equipment on hand before the flooding started?? and who would have rescued the rescuers from the flood??


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## koshergrl (Aug 24, 2011)

It's funny that the OP is a "joke" but obviously there are haters on here who believe it...


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## ABikerSailor (Aug 24, 2011)

yidnar said:


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His admin couldn't handle it because Homeland Security was staffed by a bunch of incompetent idiots at the time.


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