# My dog



## manu1959 (Jan 5, 2010)

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365.  Her meals are provided at no cost to her.  She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.  For this she pays nothing. And nothing is required of her.  She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep.  If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.  She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free.  She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.  All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.  I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, 







Holy Shit, my dog is a democrat!


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## Modbert (Jan 5, 2010)

Already posted by Phil.


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## Cal (Jan 5, 2010)

Lmao already beened posted..and already been proven to be copied from someone else WITHOUT posting a link to it..Typical Republican


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## strollingbones (Jan 5, 2010)

talk about not having an original thought there mannie....lol...


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## strollingbones (Jan 5, 2010)

let me guess if it laid up and lied about who it was doing and where it was doing it...and took lots of pills prescripted to other people after condeming drug users ...it might be a republican, eh?


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## Jay Canuck (Jan 5, 2010)

after consuming a whole wheel of cheese on New Years I was of course constipated. The constipation caused quite a deal of discomfort to my sphinkter and the stool that would not allow itself to be passed would poke out of my asshole causing me to yell at this little turtlehead while sitting on the throne "why don't you do something?" but the answer was always the same - "no"


Holy Dog, my shit is a Republican!


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## Sarah G (Jan 5, 2010)

Jay Canuck said:


> after consuming a whole wheel of cheese on New Years I was of course constipated. The constipation caused quite a deal of discomfort to my sphinkter and the stool that would not allow itself to be passed would poke out of my asshole causing me to yell at this little turtlehead while sitting on the throne "why don't you do something?" but the answer was always the same - "no"
> 
> 
> Holy Dog, my shit is a Republican!


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## xotoxi (Jan 5, 2010)

manu1959 said:


> My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365. Her meals are provided at no cost to her. She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this she pays nothing. And nothing is required of her. She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep. If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free. She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head,
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Are you Peadophilo's gay lover?

Or just his roommate?


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## xsited1 (Jan 5, 2010)

manu1959 said:


> My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365.  Her meals are provided at no cost to her.  She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.  For this she pays nothing. And nothing is required of her.  She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep.  If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.  She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free.  She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.  All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.  I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head,
> 
> Holy Shit, my dog is a democrat!



Your dog is Michelle Obama?




It's just a joke people!


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## Jay Canuck (Jan 5, 2010)

Q: How do you know manu's been in your backyard?
A: The garbage is empty and your dog is pregnant.


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## Big Black Dog (Jan 5, 2010)

I've gotten this same e-mail four times in the last three days.  This is the second time I've seen it posted on this board.  I even seen it written on the bathroom wall at the Petro Truck Stop in Rochelle, IL.  I see it everywhere I go...  It's not as funny as it was three days ago.


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## Jay Canuck (Jan 6, 2010)

Gas station bathrooms are where Repubicans go for their jokes among other things you do with a wide stance.


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## Jay Canuck (Jan 8, 2010)

this dog was a Dem too.


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## Yurt (Jan 8, 2010)

anyone else here think jay canuck is a registered sex offender.....


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## Jay Canuck (Jan 11, 2010)

Yurt said:


> anyone else here think jay canuck is a registered sex offender.....



often times it takes one to know one.


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## Missourian (Jan 13, 2010)

Jay Canuck said:


> after consuming a whole wheel of cheese on New Years I was of course constipated. The constipation caused quite a deal of discomfort to my sphinkter and the stool that would not allow itself to be passed would poke out of my asshole causing me to yell at this little turtlehead while sitting on the throne "why don't you do something?" but the answer was always the same - "no"
> 
> 
> Holy Dog, my shit is a Republican!




Which is more disturbing...that Jay talks to his excrement or that his turds respond?


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## California Girl (Jan 13, 2010)

Missourian said:


> Jay Canuck said:
> 
> 
> > after consuming a whole wheel of cheese on New Years I was of course constipated. The constipation caused quite a deal of discomfort to my sphinkter and the stool that would not allow itself to be passed would poke out of my asshole causing me to yell at this little turtlehead while sitting on the throne "why don't you do something?" but the answer was always the same - "no"
> ...



It just confirms what we already knew, Jay talks out of his ass.


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## Jay Canuck (Jan 13, 2010)

Missourian said:


> Jay Canuck said:
> 
> 
> > after consuming a whole wheel of cheese on New Years I was of course constipated. The constipation caused quite a deal of discomfort to my sphinkter and the stool that would not allow itself to be passed would poke out of my asshole causing me to yell at this little turtlehead while sitting on the throne "why don't you do something?" but the answer was always the same - "no"
> ...



I thought this was a thread on the humor forum.... but you're here so it must be the I can't tell a fucking joke if my life depended on it forum.


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## Tanner (Jan 24, 2011)

...and who would want one of those. No One!

Also, notice that the owner expresses no intent to get rid of his pooch because he knows that in return the pooch gives him unfailing loyalty, devotion, and love and generally makes his owner happy.


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## Truthmatters (Jan 24, 2011)

If it were not for the taxes democrats pay this country would not function.

If it were not for the democrats who have fought in wars this country would not exsist.

If it were not for the innovations democrats have given this country we would be a third world country.

There are many democrats lying in military graves.

Some of you pretend none of this is true.

Shame on you


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Tanner said:


> ...and who would want one of those. No One!
> 
> Also, notice that the owner expresses no intent to get rid of his pooch because he knows that in return the pooch gives him unfailing loyalty, devotion, and love and generally makes his owner happy.



Conservative dogs are called wolves.

Able to thrive as a team or survive independantly if the need or want arises.


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


> If it were not for the taxes democrats pay this country would not function.
> 
> If it were not for the democrats who have fought in wars this country would not exsist.
> 
> ...



You're dysfunctional.

The bolded part is utter bullshit.  There is no reason to think we would be a 3rd world country for any reason at all.


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## AllieBaba (Jan 24, 2011)

Wow. This thread is proof that dems have no sense of humor, and are petty and disgusting besides.

It's a joke. Get over it.


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## Truthmatters (Jan 24, 2011)

Its happenes to be a joke that insults the efforts of millions of your fellow Americans.

It negates the sacrafice of dead soldiers.

It is in fact a smear against democracy.

Its not funny because  it has NO basis in truth.

Its funny to you because you are filled to the brim with hate for your fellow Americans.


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## Truthmatters (Jan 24, 2011)

Two Thumbs said:


> Truthmatters said:
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> > If it were not for the taxes democrats pay this country would not function.
> ...





Remember all those science guys you hate because they are not republicans?


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


> Two Thumbs said:
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Name one that I hate?

Besides.  Why would I hate people that spent so much time in college only to go to work for Conservative business owners?


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


> Its happenes to be a joke that insults the efforts of millions of your fellow Americans.
> 
> It negates the sacrafice of dead soldiers.
> 
> ...





You just hammered home what Allie was saying.


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## Tanner (Jan 24, 2011)

Two Thumbs said:


> Tanner said:
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> 
> > ...and who would want one of those. No One!
> ...


 
Wolf packs are cooperative and communal which makes them democratic.

Try again.


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## Truthmatters (Jan 24, 2011)

Keep pretending that half of America is worthless.

It will gain you nothing.


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


> Keep pretending that half of America is worthless.
> 
> It will gain you nothing.



Who said liberals (not near 1/2 the pop) are worthless?

No one.

Stop making crap up, you look the fool.


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## Truthmatters (Jan 24, 2011)

Holy Shit, my dog is a democrat!


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Tanner said:


> Two Thumbs said:
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hahaha

Wolf packs are lead by an Alpha.  The pack doesn't vote on it, so democracy is out the window.

The wolf that does the most for the pack eats the best parts first.
That's VERY conservative.
And it goes down the line right to the Omega.
The Omega is either weak or timid, and sometimes both, but the pack looks out for him and makes sure he's taken care of.
That is called taking care of your own.
Also a VERY conservative ideal.

Libs are dogs
Cons are wolves

Sorry if the truthmatter hurts


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## Truthmatters (Jan 24, 2011)

No we are all people.

People work best together to solve problems when they refrain from spewing lies about their fellow members


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


> No we are all people.
> 
> People work best together to solve problems when they refrain from spewing lies about their fellow members





Gonna take your own advice?


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## Tanner (Jan 24, 2011)

Two Thumbs said:


> Tanner said:
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So, you see, truth doesn't hurt at all.


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## Wry Catcher (Jan 24, 2011)

manu1959 said:


> My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365.  Her meals are provided at no cost to her.  She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.  For this she pays nothing. And nothing is required of her.  She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep.  If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.  She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free.  She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.  All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.  I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head,
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Her political views aside, she is lucky to live with a Democrat who recognizes her needs and her inability to provide for them.  Congratulations on being a bleeding heart liberal, your dog is so lucky.  If you were a callous conservative she would be tied to a tree in the yard, fed leftovers, afflicted with fleas and kicked whenever she complained (barked).
Welcome to the Democratic Party, the party of compassion.


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Tanner said:


> Two Thumbs said:
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Wolves, like conservatives look to themselves to care for thier weaker members, dogs, like liberals look elsewhere for aide, since they can no longer care for themselves.  If dogs lose that outside aide, they die or become violent twards humans.

Dogs are decendants of wolves. Lesser creatures that are easy to control and kept on a leash.


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## Tanner (Jan 24, 2011)

Two Thumbs said:


> Tanner said:
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No need to thank me for correcting your spelling.
Any more CONstructive opinion? Make it quick, I'm off to lunch and to feed my Commie canine.


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Tanner said:


> Two Thumbs said:
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I recomend the nature channel, or National Geographic.

You don't know squat about wolves, let alone conservatives.

as far as my spilleng?  who gives a fuck?

But thansk for pionting our your elitism.  It standard at dog shows.


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## Zoom-boing (Jan 24, 2011)

Truthmatters said:


> If it were not for the taxes democrats pay this country would not function.
> 
> If it were not for the democrats who have fought in wars this country would not exsist.
> 
> ...




See, this right here is what gets you in trouble.  You post of only Dems doing these things when you know that's a lie.  By omitting _the fact_ that Repubs do them all as well what you come across as is . . . . nothing more than a partisan hack.


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## Tanner (Jan 24, 2011)

Two Thumbs said:


> Tanner said:
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_*Ah, there it is. The inevitable charge of "liberal elitism" from the basically educated Conservative mind, revealing their own sense of inadequacy and envy and signifying their utter defeat.

Game, set, match. Any response you now make will only bare more of you intellectual weakness. 
*_


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Tanner said:


> Two Thumbs said:
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What weakness?  You declared yourself the winner of a humor thread.  How friggin lame is that?

You went after my spelling errors.  oh nose i gots typos!

hhahahah

you're right tho, you win

You can pcik up the title of LAMEY LAME LAME King at the USMB HQ.

Dont forget to polish it.


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## Tanner (Jan 24, 2011)

Two Thumbs said:


> Tanner said:
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_*That you would try the ever so sophisticated "Na Na Na Boo Boo", spiteful 3rd grade approach is beneath even you. But the again, it's to be expected. 

Thanks for showing more of your inadequacy. Please continue. The floor is yours. Try to get up off of it.*_


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## AllieBaba (Jan 24, 2011)

Naw, the third grade approach is the "I win! I win! You're STOOPID!" one.


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

AllieBaba said:


> Naw, the third grade approach is the "I win! I win! You're STOOPID!" one.



Troller declared himself the winner kinda quick.

Damn thing is;

I didn't know we were competing. 

Guess he did win, he beat himself off the board.



how's my selling btw?  I don't have auto-spell check and don't bother to edit, so I apologise for offending anyone with my semi-pro typing skillz


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## Zoom-boing (Jan 24, 2011)

Two Thumbs said:


> AllieBaba said:
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> > Naw, the third grade approach is the "I win! I win! You're STOOPID!" one.
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You said beat off.  heh


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Zoom-boing said:


> Two Thumbs said:
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Purely coincidental I assure you.

Honest


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## Tanner (Jan 24, 2011)

AllieBaba said:


> Naw, the third grade approach is the "I win! I win! You're STOOPID!" one.



_*Which I never said. Those words were uttered by your CONstricted protege in his infantile attempt at oneupsmanship. Your lack of comprehension merely shows you must sit next to the poor dear in the same 3rd grade class.*_


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## Tanner (Jan 24, 2011)

Two Thumbs said:


> Zoom-boing said:
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_*Obviously, because from your previous inane postings we know you are not smart enough for even sophomoric red neck attempts at humor.

It's also obvious you're not skilled at gender identity.*_


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## uscitizen (Jan 24, 2011)

My cats are conservative.


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

Tanner said:


> Two Thumbs said:
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You're a chick?

That's funny

I had a HS friend, HIS name was Tanner.
I had a shipmate in the Navy named Tanner, HE was tall and skinny.

maybe in the future when you come across a place where the sex of the poster is listed to the viewing public you won't get your panties in a bunch when people use the proper masculine when sex is not known.

oh wait, the future is now.


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## Two Thumbs (Jan 24, 2011)

uscitizen said:


> My cats are conservative.



My kids turtle is a communist dictating green czar.


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## AVG-JOE (Jan 24, 2011)

manu1959 said:


> My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365.  Her meals are provided at no cost to her.  She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.  For this she pays nothing. And nothing is required of her.  She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep.  If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.  She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free.  She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.  All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.  I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head,
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Correction..... 




Your dog is a *successful* democrat.


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## sealybobo (Sep 29, 2019)

manu1959 said:


> My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365.  Her meals are provided at no cost to her.  She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.  For this she pays nothing. And nothing is required of her.  She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep.  If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.  She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free.  She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.  All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.  I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head,
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Think about that hole in your life if that democrat wasn’t around.

Here is the second best reason to have a dog.


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## sealybobo (Sep 29, 2019)

AVG-JOE said:


> manu1959 said:
> 
> 
> > My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. She has her food prepared for her. She can eat whenever she wants, 24/7/365.  Her meals are provided at no cost to her.  She visits the Dr. once a year for her checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.  For this she pays nothing. And nothing is required of her.  She lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than she needs, but she is not required to do any upkeep.  If she makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.  She has her choice of luxurious places to sleep. She receives these accommodations absolutely free.  She is living like a queen, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.  All of her costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.  I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head,
> ...


I miss the days when the democrat was the home owner and the dogs were republicans.


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