# Alas the Amazing



## Abishai100 (Feb 4, 2016)

The modern world of profiteerism inspires film-makers to make movies such as "The Wolf of Wall Street" [2013].  This new age mindset is fertile for a prophetic stand between the knights of democracy and the warlocks of fascism.  In this environment enters a pensive knight named Alas who is trying to redeem himself for the sins of his youth.  Alas believes he is like Captain America (Marvel Comics), defender of American virtues.  Alas does not realize that his faith is about to be tested.

Alas first meets a mad scientist named Dr. Wily who believes that speech impediments are counter-productive in the modern world of communications-based technologies (i.e., email, SMS, etc.).  Dr. Wily finds individuals who suffer from speech impediments and creates caricatures of them to distribute on the Internet --- i.e., "Meet Wally, a Caucasian male whose speech impediment makes it nearly impossible to pronounce words clearly with the letter 'l' in them (i.e., kill, will, allusion, etc.)."  These caricatures have become popular in social jokes, and they've created an atmosphere of bigotry against those suffering from speech impediments.  Alas decided to take action and write a series of op-ed styled columns in the New Yorker magazine titled, "Patience with tech-turbulence communication breakdown and Internet hackers."  These columns effectively end the tide of sarcastic jokes against people with speech impediments.

Alas then reads of a group of bank robbers who rob only from banks in predominantly Caucasian neighborhoods.  The mission statement of this bank robbing team is to disseminate the notion that racism creates economic inequalities between races, prompting swift and radical vigilante actions such as anti-establishment bank robberies.  Once again, Alas decides to take action by writing a series of op-ed styled columns in the New Yorker magazine, titled "Minimum wage guarantees targeted for financially-struggling ethnic minority groups in America."  These columns change the general public sentiment once favoring the race-mission bank robbers.

Alas travels to Europe and meets an evil magician who recruits prostitutes for his stage woman-saw cutting trick during which the magician actually kills the prostitutes, unknown to the audience.  When Alas realizes what the magician is doing, he asks him, "Why?" to which the magician replies, "These prostitutes spread plagues."  Alas decides to end the reign of this cruel vigilante and creates a Christian street performance diorama with the slogan, "Prostitutes who find Christ."  This street performance enrages the evil magician who loses motivation and decides to quit his diabolical show.

Alas goes back to America and during his Christian missionary activities, he meets a wild movie star named Leo who is about to make a propaganda film about the Salem Witch Trials.  Alas tells Leo, "If you're going to make an incendiary film about witchcraft persecution, I suggest you encourage your screenwriters to add in dialogue/lines about Wiccan crimes."  Leo agrees and the lines are included in the film.  Movie audiences decide after watching the film that while the Salem Witch Trials may have been a mistake, witches, like anyone else, are susceptible to criminality and hence equally deserving of legal defense and rehabilitation.

Finally, Alas meets a Mexican druglord and his wife (named Terry and Ruth) in the border-town of Tijuana who have created a powerful narcotics dominion amidst all the tourism and traffic.  Alas infiltrates their narcotics ring and finally meets Terry and Ruth face-to-face.  Alas poses a social challenge for them, "Let me run a youth-coordinated lemonade stand in Tijuana, and if demand for narcotics goes down, you must leave Tijuana." Terry and Ruth agree, believing that a simple optimistic lemonade stand will not be enough to diminish the demand for narcotics.  When the lemonade stand is a huge hit in Tijuana, Alas wins the challenge and Terry and Ruth leave the bordertown for good, shocked they were defeated by a simple lemonade stand.

Alas is so satisfied with his redemptive activities that he becomes a big fan of the Captain America (Marvel Comics) franchise and spends his retirement years talking to people about how pedestrianism art (comic books) speaks to a democratic interest in community values spiritualism.  He wonders, however, if the strange and anti-social individuals he's tackled comprise a proverbial villainous army of darkness akin to ones presented in comic book art.  Alas remains satisfied that his conviction about American virtues has led him to good works.




*Army of Darkness (Film)*


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## Abishai100 (Apr 14, 2016)

*A Blessed Antique-Shop*

Here is the redemption theme respun with Alas as a shopkeeper of an antique store in Australia.



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Alas was a troubled youth, and his alcoholic father had just passed away.  Being raised by his obstinate mother, Alas felt the tinge of rebelliousness and decided to become a thief.  At first, he started out as a shoplifter, but as he grew older, he moved onto breaking-and-entering, vandalism, check fraud, and various kinds of diamond heists.  During one of his diamond heists (in Seattle), Alas's girlfriend was shot and killed by chasing police officers.  This changed Alas's mindset forever, and he decided to redeem himself.

Alas moved to Australia where he changed his name and appearance.  He purchased a modest condominium under the false name Alastair, and he grew a medium-sized beard and started wearing glasses instead of contact lenses.  He used his saved up money to purchase a small antique store in Sydney and named his store _Alastair's Ageless Antiques_. He was always savvy with networking and was able to make the right connections to gather very special and interesting antiques from around the world such as JFK's special pistol-shaped cigarette lighter, Genghis Khan's curved dagger, rebel-club quills from the French Revolution, and Grover Cleveland's first radio.

Alas (now Alastair) was very happy with the successes of his antique shop and decided that he was redeeming himself for the sins of his life and that his departed mother was very proud of him.  He was a very hospitable antique shop-keeper, and he always said to his customers, "Old things always shine!"  Alas began reading Captain Marvel comic books and fantasized that he had turned his life around like a true American vigilante.

One day a strange customer walked into _Alastair's Ageless Antiques_.  The elderly man wore a long white beard and a thick heavy trench-coat.  He told Alas he was an insurance agent there to investigate what kinds of treasures Australians would find culturally valuable (for personal insurance evaluation research purposes).  Alas told him that the antiques in the store reflected a global perspective on antiques but were accessible enough to be appreciated by the pedestrianism-friendly culture of Australia.  The elderly man told Alas that he wanted to take photographs of the antiques which symbolized spiritualism or religion-based themes.  Alas showed him a special antique candlestick from the Vatican, and the elderly man turned to him and strangely asked, "Do you think God is pleased with the selling of such antiques?"  Alas didn't know what to say and quickly approved the sale of the item, and as the elderly man was walking out of the antique store, it seemed he started to glow.  Alas realized the elderly man who quickly disappeared was God.  Later that night, Alas wrote in his diary, "My redemption-motivated antique shop has motivated God to bless the treasure-hunter!"

As God was sitting on top of his lonely mountain, he thought about how Alastair (Alas) had redeemed himself for this sins and had successfully made antique-dealing an inspirational activity in Australia.  God remarked how treasure-hunting could ironically be spiritually motivating.  He worried, however, that Alas's customers would ignore the spiritual richness of his store and simply seek the convenient spoils of dazzling mercantilism.  God contemplated the tangible wrath of Satan.

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*Friday the 13th: The Series (TV)*


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## Abishai100 (Jul 12, 2016)

I love this Alas character, so I've made yet another version of this likable figure.

*Alas's War*


Alas was a mercenary who allied himself with his employers, a warring clan known as the Tira who were battling a savage kingdom ruled by a ferocious wizard named RQ.  Tira boasted a handful of skilful warriors and assassins, including Shame (a swordsman), Eli (an acrobatic woman who threw grenades), George (a tunnelling expert), and Friday (a master with throwing poisonous darts).  RQ boasted ghoulish war-childs and menaces, including Dame (a woman who could hypnotize men), Rats (a brute who wielded a deadly spear), Krag (a kung-fu killer with a special skill to strike his enemies’ necks with his fingers), and Doom (a masked maniac wielding a chainsaw).

Alas was very handy with his sabre.  He knew how to get out of situations and how to tackle enemies on the battlefield single-handedly while complementing the fighting efforts of his allies around him.  Alas had one weakness, however.  He was scared of bees, and if anyone found out his secret, they would use it against him, so Alas kept this strange fear secret.  The leader of the Tira, George, proposed that his forces strike RQ’s castle at sunrise on a hot summer afternoon by surprise, since their adversaries would feel the fatigue under the sweltering heat, while George’s forces would come well-prepared and adequately rested and energized.  Alas did not like this idea, since it could lead to the fatigue of Tira’s forces as well.  Nevertheless, he went along with it.

Alas was walking through the forest, about one week before the proposed summer attack on RQ’s castle.  He met a beautiful woman who was sitting alone in the forest in a cloak and hood, meditating.  She had long, thick red hair, and a very shapely body.  Alas approached her and asked her why she was meditating deep in the forest alone (after he politely apologized for disrupting her meditation), and she replied that she preferred the loneliness of the woods.  Alas started talking to her, and she told him her name was Rapunzel and she was searching for a worthy husband.  Alas immediately fell in love with her.  He was captivated by her beauty and smartness.  They made love in the forest that day and afterwards, she asked him to disclose all of his secrets, and Alas told her everything.  He told her he was a sabre-wielding traveling mercenary working for the forces of Tira who were planning to attack RQ’s castle that summer and that he was terrified of bees.

Alas was sitting alone in his chambers of Tira’s fortress the night before the summer attack on RQ’s castle.  Alas had lost all contact with Rapunzel who eerily just disappeared.  Alas prayed to his God and concentrated on courage, which he would need for the next day’s battle.  He decided that if he made it out alive, he would go on a tireless search for Rapunzel, the woman of his dreams.  The next morning, Alas put war-paint on his face, practiced some sabre maneuvers, and headed out into what was going to be a truly momentous day of war and peace.

When Tiru’s forces arrived at the doorstep of RQ’s castle, George sounded his trumpet, and RQ came to the castle tower behind his archery guardsmen and asked what George wanted.  George dared RQ to engage in a battle that hot summer afternoon and see who would in a battle of attrition.  RQ defiantly stated that George probably planned to engage RQ’s forces on a hot summer day by adequately resting his own forces before the battle.  Nevertheless, RQ accepted the challenge and in two hours, the castle door opened, and RQ’s forces stormed out on foot to meet Tira’s forces who likewise charged on foot.  There were battle-axes, spears, swords of all kinds, arrows, and bombs.  The battle went on and on.  The female fighters of Tira were clearly overpowering the villainous females of RQ’s side.  George also slayed RQ with a swift blow to his head with his club, breaking his neck.  Alas meanwhile was tackling what seemed ten men simultaneously before working his way to Doom, the chainsaw-wielding henchman of RQ.  Doom ran towards Alas with his buzzing and bloodied chainsaw, and Alas dove under him and swiped his legs from under him, causing Doom to fall and his chainsaw to land on his own leg, gashing it deeply.  Suddenly, Doom took out a bag from his pocket and opened it and a swarm of killer bees flew out and towards Alas’s head.  Alas jumped back and started screaming.

Eli noticed Alas was distressed by the bees and ran towards him with her water pouch and doused water all around Alas’s head, causing the killer bees to scatter.  She then grabbed Alas’s hand and pulled him further away from the swarm.  Alas regained his senses and ran back towards Doom who had slowly stood back up.  Alas took his sabre and decapitated Doom.  George Was standing over RQ’s dead body who carried a note in his pocket which read, “My sister Rapunzel has tricked your mercenary-warrior Alas in disclosing your plan of summer heat attack, so on this day, I had my couriers order a strike carried out by an allied servant clan of mine who plan to destroy all the villages surrounding Tira’s fortress.  George was horrified and ordered his men to retreat back towards their fortress.

When George’s forces of Tira arrived back in their territory, they realized that three of the nine villages surrounding Tira’s fortress were destroyed.  The men were killed, and the women and children were burned alive.  Everything was desolate.  George told Alas that his new ‘girlfriend’ Rapunzel betrayed him and tipped off RQ who concocted this terrible counter-punch on this hot summer day.  Alas was horrified and took leave of Tira and rode his horse back to RQ’s castle to search of Rapunzel who was crowned the Queen, now that RQ was dead.  Alas infiltrated the castle and skulked his way into Rapunzel’s chamber late at night.  She awoke but smiled when she saw Alas.  Alas asked Rapunzel why she betrayed him so badly, to which the devious Queen replied, “*I betrayed my own brother RQ so I could become Queen!  Rule at my side as my lover, and I will grant you eternal sanctuary*.”  Alas was still hypnotized by Rapunzel and took the deal and became her servant-husband.  He always wondered what his life would have been like if he never met Rapunzel.

Near the end of his life, Alas was sitting alone in his castle chamber.  Rapunzel the Queen was in her meeting room appropriating the labors of that day for her realm.  George (of Tira) and Rapunzel had made peace, and the two were secret lovers, though Alas never found out.  Alas wrote a poem of somberness to mark his strange and interesting life and to ruminate on how fate had delivered him to the hands of the calculating Rapunzel:


“*Alas, I, the prince-warrior,*

*Bedfellowed to the Queen,*

*Sister of my enemy, the dead RQ,*

*Fallen at the hands of George, my betrayer.*

*I sit in my chamber under my Queen’s patronage,*

*In my hand is my old age and my rage*!”


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## Abishai100 (Aug 6, 2016)

*THE DEATH OF MOLOCH*

Here's another.

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Alas was a merciless vigilante with a strict code of honor.  He carried a shiny handsome and not too heavy silver sword which he named War-Edge and believed that female warriors who needed to be killed should be immediately beheaded so as to avoid any torture or pain on the battlefield (spiritual and physical).  Alas knew he was great with a sword, and he could whirl it around and whip it around his body to create very impressive cyclone like razor-sharp movements, which rendered his adversaries helpless in its metal tornado path.  He was scared of nothing but knew he lacked love in his heart for a woman.  Alas was a content warrior (a mercenary vigilante) who thought he would not face anything too bizarre in his life.  Everything changed when he agreed to take on a mission in Romania in the year 2001.

Romania was swamped with flying bloody vampires.  These creatures were humans engaging in cannibalism and performing bizarre rituals with their incisor (vampire-ish) teeth.  They flew around Transylvania on hang-gliders and would swoop into random areas thick with human traffic on Friday evenings and pick out someone to swoop up and use as human sacrifice.  The vampire 'clan' called themselves the Blood Seekers, and they worked for a goonish warlord named Francis who lived in a fortress-like abandoned but re-strengthened castle called Greylight.  Francis and the Blood Seekers recruited random people who looked willing to serve as preying minions for their emerging ring of power in Romania.

Alas's mission was to infiltrate, corrupt, and deteriorate the dominion of the Blood Seekers and whoever they were working with in Transylvania and elsewhere in Romania.  He had his sword and a large canister of holy water, which he personally blessed (Alas was an ordained Catholic priest) and would use as a pseudo-evangelical 'call sign' of his battle-cry.  He would say things like, "Be cleansed by the aura of this holy water!" before decapitating random Blood Seekers and their imbalanced allies.  However, Alas didn't realize just how insane Romania had become.  The Blood Seekers were working with a crime syndicate known as the Blinders, narcotics-ghouls who cut out the eyes of their rivals and enemies (and sometimes cops).  The Blood Seekers afforded the Blinders a degree of social power, since people on the street were saying things like, "The druglords now employ vampires!"

As Romania burned with a light stench of pure black evil smoke rising from the mental energy of roving bands of do-badders, Alas wanted to establish his presence as a force of disruption.  Alas was employed by the CIA who believed the Taliban would use the morally disarrayed Romania to create a secret lair from which they could send out undetected radio and Internet transmissions.  Alas told the CIA that he would use any means necessary to create power deterioration among the Blood Seekers and the Blinders, and the CIA was pleased, confident with Alas's resume; Alas had single-handedly dismantled a powerful rogue sect of the Russian Mafia operating in newly-established but politically-vulnerable Independent Chechnya.

As a minor street battle came to a climax, Alas found himself face-to-face with one of the three first knights of Francis, leader of the Blood Seekers.  The knight's name was Moloch, and he carried a buzzing chainsaw and wore a mask made out of wool.  Moloch was both tough and agile and was the same height and weight as Alas (approx. 180 lbs, 5'8").  Alas asked Moloch what the plan of the Blood Seekers was, and Moloch replied that they intended to work with the Blinders to establish a mobile phone company to make themselves legitimate and use the profits as a front to create a socio-psychological 'dark realm' in Transylvania and host the activities of the anti-USA Taliban.  Alas realized that if Moloch and his bunch were not destroyed, Romania would become Dante's Inferno.

Molock stood in front of Alas, who has perspiring but had a firm grip on his sword.  Alas realized the wind was blowing, and his sword may be too burdensome to wield with sufficient control, so he resolved to make one quick diagonal straight-strike against Moloch's torso after batting away his chainsaw, while the Blood Seeker was running towards him with his buzzing chainsaw.  As Moloch lay on the ground, obviously bleeding to death, he reached out his hand to Alas and delivered his death speech:

"_*Alas, I'm sure now you're working for the CIA.  I was Francis's premier knight and no less, and my death will signal the beginning of the ultimate demise of the relentless Blood Seekers.  You will be remembered as a man-warrior of mystery and intelligence, and your employers will be feared.  Be assured now that Romania will become once again a land of calm and peace.  My only request is that since you know you are the victor, depart the field of battle with humility and grace, and allow my lord Francis and his Blood Seekers to retreat away in honor by taking my sister Danica as your bride (and as my parting gift of peace-declaration).  This is my final will, and may hell reign somewhere forever*_!"

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