# Why do some men enjoy hurting women?



## Lucy Hamilton (Mar 20, 2017)

Why do some men enjoy hurting women? The sort of man who tells a woman he loves her, but repeatedly does things he knows will upset and hurt her.

What is it with those men, why are they like that and why do those women put up with that sort of thing even though it brings them nothing but hurt?


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## Marion Morrison (Mar 20, 2017)

Not sure. I've witnessed quite a few toxic relationships. They almost always end eventually.

If it's a cheating scenario, she should go her own way.


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## Bruce_T_Laney (Mar 20, 2017)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Why do some men enjoy hurting women? The sort of man who tells a woman he loves her, but repeatedly does things he knows will upset and hurt her.
> 
> What is it with those men, why are they like that and why do those women put up with that sort of thing even though it brings them nothing but hurt?



Why do men do that!?!

Because it is usually the upbringing that causes this. Most men see a man they look up to and mimic the bad behavior. It could be a father, grandfather, uncle or some neighborhood twat of a man that they looked up to and believe abusing women is something that is correct.

A lot of time it also is because of insecurities and maybe a little penis and fearing the opposite sex will realize they lack the manhood to satisfy the opposite.

As for women it is also the cycle of abuse that is usually pass down from mother to daughter.

My Uncle that raised me slapped my Aunt and next thing I saw how a man looked like when being used as a mop.

All this is my opinion when it come to the abuse you were asking about ...


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## Toro (Mar 20, 2017)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Why do some men enjoy hurting women? The sort of man who tells a woman he loves her, but repeatedly does things he knows will upset and hurt her.
> 
> What is it with those men, why are they like that and why do those women put up with that sort of thing even though it brings them nothing but hurt?



Why do you ask?


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## Divine Wind (Mar 20, 2017)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Why do some men enjoy hurting women? The sort of man who tells a woman he loves her, but repeatedly does things he knows will upset and hurt her.
> 
> What is it with those men, why are they like that and why do those women put up with that sort of thing even though it brings them nothing but hurt?


As the saying goes, "You can't love someone until you love yourself".  

OTOH, someone who says one thing and does another is not to be trusted.  A partial answer to the OP question is another question:  "_Why do some women stay with abusive men_?"   Fear of being alone?


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## MarathonMike (Mar 20, 2017)

I've known two different kinds. One is just the player that never pretends to give a shit and is just trying to bed the next babe. The second kind actually seems to crave a one on one relationship but ends up totally breaking the women's heart and doesn't seem bothered by it at all. To me that is almost Sociopathic.


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## Lucy Hamilton (Mar 20, 2017)

Toro said:


> Lucy Hamilton said:
> 
> 
> > Why do some men enjoy hurting women? The sort of man who tells a woman he loves her, but repeatedly does things he knows will upset and hurt her.
> ...



Just curious, the women should walk away and they don't, maybe it's a form of Stockholm Syndrome they have.


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## The Great Goose (Mar 20, 2017)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Why do some men enjoy hurting women? The sort of man who tells a woman he loves her, but repeatedly does things he knows will upset and hurt her.
> 
> What is it with those men, why are they like that and why do those women put up with that sort of thing even though it brings them nothing but hurt?


Emotional violence. It's not gender specific.


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## Toro (Mar 20, 2017)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Toro said:
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> 
> > Lucy Hamilton said:
> ...



A man does that as a way of control.  He demeans her to diminish her self-worth so that she feels that she isn't deserving of love.  Thus, when he loves her, he feels that she is more likely to stay with him. 

Ultimately, he abuses her because the man is insecure.  Deep down, he thinks that he isn't good enough for her.  He feels that she will leave him if someone "better" comes along.

It's an unhealthy relationship. 

What that man doesn't understand is that rather than tearing her down, the more he builds her up, the more likely she is to stay with him.  The more he compliments her and loves her and builds her self-esteem, the more the bonds between them strengthen.


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## HaShev (Mar 20, 2017)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Why do some men enjoy hurting women? The sort of man who tells a woman he loves her, but repeatedly does things he knows will upset and hurt her.
> 
> What is it with those men, why are they like that and why do those women put up with that sort of thing even though it brings them nothing but hurt?



I'm guessing depending on the situation, sometimes an emasculated man will seek more power in the relationship that way, 
some fear being the dumpee, so to save
 ego misstreat and seek the upper hand.
Others might have hostility towards women from former relationships with women or even through a tarnished relationship with their mother.  Those are some of many reasons people power play in relationships including reaction to something the woman does to make an insecure man lack trust or stability in the relationship.


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## Divine Wind (Mar 20, 2017)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Just curious, the women should walk away and they don't, maybe it's a form of Stockholm Syndrome they have.


Such a woman isn't a normal, healthy woman.  Abusive men can't get away with smacking the shit out of a normal woman.  She'd either smack him back, leave or put a bullet in him in self-defense.  Abusive men purposely chose weak victims.  Such a woman needs help.   She probably won't leave on her own volition.


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## Lucy Hamilton (Mar 20, 2017)

Divine.Wind said:


> Lucy Hamilton said:
> 
> 
> > Just curious, the women should walk away and they don't, maybe it's a form of Stockholm Syndrome they have.
> ...



A few years ago, we were in the Accident and Emergency part of a hospital in the middle of the night. There was a woman there who had been punched by her boyfriend, he looked very unappealing physically, anyhow two nurses were attempting to talk her into pressing assault charges and she wouldn't.

I remember thinking WTF is wrong with that woman, but that sort of woman has been emotionally weakened to the point she puts up with a POS, probably convincing herself that he won't punch her again, until he does, then she'd make more excuses not to leave.

Of course I should also add that men can be abused by women and a lot of men if a woman hit them, being men might not hit her back because she's a woman, which of course that type of woman would then use that as an excuse to keep being abusive.

Society needs to do more to help people in abusive relationships, men and women, it's almost a taboo like suicide, everyone knows it happens but nobody except professionals want to discuss it openly, which of course helps nobody.


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## Divine Wind (Mar 20, 2017)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Divine.Wind said:
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> > Lucy Hamilton said:
> ...


There are weak people; both men and women.  Yes, in a perfect world we'd fix their problems for them, but the fact remains "society" can only do so much.  

OTOH, depending on the laws of your nation, putting half a pound of sand in the crankcase, a pound of sugar down a gas tank and some other forms of sabotage can really fuck with an asshole.  Of course, there's the old "baseball bat to the knees" trick too, but that's illegal in many countries.


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## Comrade Johnson (Mar 21, 2017)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Why do some men enjoy hurting women?



Because some men are assholes


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## ThankU4votingTrump (Mar 21, 2017)

Because some women enjoy being hurt by men.


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## iamwhatiseem (Mar 22, 2017)

Because they are jerks. Jerks are also called "*The Needy Alpha*". Often confused as a true alpha, however they are the very opposite. A true Alpha seeks to strengthen those around him, the Needy Alpha seeks to tear down those around them in an attempt to bring them under control. 
The Jerk male....lacks confidence, but tries very hard to convince others he has it by bullying. The Jerk fails often in life, and usually looks for someone to blame every single time.

  You have the wrong type of male. Seek out a Beta Male, or if you are lucky - an Alpha Male.


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## CeeCee (Mar 25, 2017)

Because they are losers and the only way they can feel superior is to take out their anger on women....a man would probably knock his block off. 

Ive been fairly lucky, had a great husband but he died 13 years ago.


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## smith77 (Apr 25, 2018)

women are socialized that men are supposed to give them their way.  Meaning females believe it is an unwritten law of the universe that men do what they say due to the gash between their legs.  So when females don't get their way, they get angry


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## Dalia (Apr 25, 2018)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Why do some men enjoy hurting women? The sort of man who tells a woman he loves her, but repeatedly does things he knows will upset and hurt her.
> 
> What is it with those men, why are they like that and why do those women put up with that sort of thing even though it brings them nothing but hurt?


Hello, Lucy it is a good question, I think that women who are abused by a man verbal or physical or both are often isolated and the man is often the cause of isolation, I knew a girl who was beaten by her boyfriend she asked me if I could take her to my place is what I do. and it is horrible to listent of the recitations of a beaten woman. it has never happened to me personally in any way. but this girl was an isolated family-less and almost without income and pregnant in addition.
She meets someone and she is happy today. For me, a man who really loves a woman shows her in all possible ways with attention, gestures, but above all tell her that he loves her it is for me what the most valuable that gives this force a link of 'love.


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## evenflow1969 (May 10, 2018)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Why do some men enjoy hurting women? The sort of man who tells a woman he loves her, but repeatedly does things he knows will upset and hurt her.
> 
> What is it with those men, why are they like that and why do those women put up with that sort of thing even though it brings them nothing but hurt?


Good question! One I do not have an aswer to.Here is another question why do some women ask you to get rough? I do not understand this. I also wonder why they picked me to ask. If they were paying attention when I spoke I would think they would realize I am not likely to do as they ask. I do not get half the crazy sexual stuff people are doing today and I doubt highly that any one has ever called me a prude.


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## OldLady (May 10, 2018)

Lucy Hamilton said:


> Why do some men enjoy hurting women? The sort of man who tells a woman he loves her, but repeatedly does things he knows will upset and hurt her.
> 
> What is it with those men, why are they like that and why do those women put up with that sort of thing even though it brings them nothing but hurt?


It's complicated and you've gotten a lot of good answers.  All of them are true.
I used to try to convince women they didn't have to put up with that.  It's really hard.
Since leaving an abusive man is the most dangerous time in the relationship, it has to be her call when that happens, too.  All you can do is be ready to support the effort when she jumps.  If she jumps.


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