# Put a Cowboys Sticker on my Broke Vacuum, Now it SUX Again.



## JimBowie1958 (Jul 24, 2014)

Lol, Cowboy fans are letting their angst hang out these days.

Thought I would share since now I am a Patriots fan and the Cowboys can suck my hind teet.

"The safest place during a tornado alert is Texas Stadium since there are never any touchdowns there."


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## JimBowie1958 (Jul 24, 2014)




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## JimBowie1958 (Jul 24, 2014)




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## JimBowie1958 (Jul 24, 2014)




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## JimBowie1958 (Jul 24, 2014)

Q. What&#8217;s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys & the Taliban? A. The Taliban has a running game

Q. How do the Dallas Cowboys count to 10?
 A. 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10

Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys & Billy Graham have in common? A. They both can make 60,000 people stand up & yell &#8220;Jesus Christ&#8221; !
Q. How do you keep a Dallas Cowboys player out of your yard? A. Put up goal posts

Q. Where do you go in Dallas in case of a tornado?
 A. Jerry World &#8211; they never get a touchdown there!

Q. Why doesn&#8217;t Fort Worth have a professional football team? A. Because then Dallas would want one

Q. Why was Jason Garrett upset when the Cowboys playbook was stolen? A. Because he hadn&#8217;t finished coloring it.

Q. What&#8217;s the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar bill? A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar

Q. What do you call 49 people sitting around a TV watching the SuperBowl?
 A. The Dallas Cowboys

Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common? A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road

Q. How can you tell when the Dallas Cowboys are going to run the football?
 A. DeMarco Murray leaves the huddle with tears in his eyes.


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## JimBowie1958 (Jul 24, 2014)




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## JimBowie1958 (Jul 24, 2014)




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## B. Kidd (Jul 25, 2014)

You'd make a great Eagles fan!


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## Mad Scientist (Jul 25, 2014)

If the CowBums are having trouble scoring then maybe they should bring back Michael Irvin, he could always find that white line!


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## HereWeGoAgain (Jul 25, 2014)




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## UllysesS.Archer (Jul 25, 2014)

I'm laughin so hard, im cryin...


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## Pennywise (Jul 25, 2014)

I don't give two shits for professional sports, but this thread is fucking hilarious.


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## JimBowie1958 (Jul 26, 2014)

B. Kidd said:


> You'd make a great Eagles fan!



You'll be hearing soon from my lawyer....how dare you?


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## WheelieAddict (Jul 26, 2014)

You all are to tough on Romo. Yeah he has some high profile chokes but you could do far worse. Neckbeard Orton left lol.


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## JimBowie1958 (Jul 26, 2014)




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## TheIceMan (Jul 26, 2014)

I see one bitter Cowboys fan and a bunch of jealous sissies.  

When Jerry Jones bought the Cowboys and insisted he knew more than anyone else, he sealed the fate of the team.  He's stupid, and has no class.  Got lots of money though.  

He could have kept Jimmy Johnson but his ego got in the way.  He could have had Drew Brees, but his ego got in the way.  Reminds me of Tom Landry with Craig Morton.  Or Danny White.  Or Steve Pelluier.  He's sticking with Romo.  Romo can hold all the stats he wants.  He's not a winner.

And maybe Jones might want to consider investing in some defense?  Just a thought.  If the other team can't score, you don't have to.


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## PredFan (Jul 26, 2014)

Most of youse, I've heard already. Still funny though. You can insert any team name into the joke. Here's one we used to say about college sports teams we hated:

Q. How do you get an FSU Graduate off of your front porch?

A. Pay him for the pizza.


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