# Fuck My Life ...



## driveby (Feb 14, 2009)

Think you have it bad ?

Check some of these folks out......  

F*** My Life - FML : Your everyday life stories.


----------



## Zoom-boing (Feb 16, 2009)




----------



## Dis (Feb 16, 2009)

> Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looks at me and asks "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML



LMAO. Boys are mean.


----------



## driveby (Feb 16, 2009)

A few that i thought were good: 



Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

Today, my on-and-off boyfriend of 8 years asked me to cheer him up. I told him that I'm in love with him. He said "Oh, I just wanted a blowjob." FML

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

Today, my wife told me that if she had a penny for every time I had brought her to climax she'd have change for a nickel. We've been married for 16 years. FML


----------



## Amanda (Feb 16, 2009)

driveby said:


> Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML



What's wrong with that? Sometimes you really need to tell your friends something.


----------



## driveby (Feb 16, 2009)

Amanda said:


> driveby said:
> 
> 
> > Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
> ...



i just spit my drink onto my screen, thanks ...


----------



## Amanda (Feb 16, 2009)

driveby said:


> Amanda said:
> 
> 
> > driveby said:
> ...



Oh please, it's not like guys don't love to play XBox while they're getting blown. Take your double standards somewhere else!


----------



## Dis (Feb 16, 2009)

Amanda said:


> driveby said:
> 
> 
> > Amanda said:
> ...



Err..  If they do, you're doing it wrong..


----------



## driveby (Feb 16, 2009)

Amanda said:


> driveby said:
> 
> 
> > Amanda said:
> ...



 

ahhh, can't argue with ya there .......


----------



## driveby (Feb 16, 2009)

Dis said:


> Amanda said:
> 
> 
> > driveby said:
> ...



Not necessarily, if i do terrible on the game she's doing ok. If i break a scoring record during it, she's doing something wrong...... 

P.S.  If this thread turns into a discussion about oral sex, watch how quick it blows up, no pun intended .....


----------



## Amanda (Feb 16, 2009)

Dis said:


> Amanda said:
> 
> 
> > driveby said:
> ...



It's no different than doing it while he's driving. And besides I have multiple modes. I can just be making it feel nice, or I can get him off. I've yet to find a man that can last even 3 minutes when I don't want him to, and I'm talking guys that can fuck for 30 minutes without breaking a sweat. I got mad skillz.


----------



## driveby (Feb 16, 2009)

Amanda said:


> Dis said:
> 
> 
> > Amanda said:
> ...



Congrats, you will now be stalked by every male on this message board.......


----------



## Amanda (Feb 16, 2009)

driveby said:


> Amanda said:
> 
> 
> > Dis said:
> ...



Pffft, too late.


----------



## Paulie (Feb 16, 2009)

Wow, a whole 30 minutes?


----------



## Agnapostate (Feb 16, 2009)




----------



## Amanda (Feb 16, 2009)

Paulie said:


> Wow, a whole 30 minutes?



Yeah.... _without breaking a sweat_. And I'm taking missionary position without laying on me.


----------



## Agnapostate (Feb 16, 2009)

Pffft, missionary position. Follow the way of the canine. It shall lead you to Paradise.


----------



## Amanda (Feb 16, 2009)

Agnapostate said:


> Pffft, missionary position. Follow the way of the canine. It shall lead you to Paradise.



It doesn't take as much effort to kneel behind someone and thrust as it does to hold yourself suspended over them AND thrust. I refer to the position only as it is a feat of strength, not my favorite. I'm more of a cowgirl myself.


----------



## driveby (Feb 16, 2009)

Amanda said:


> Agnapostate said:
> 
> 
> > Pffft, missionary position. Follow the way of the canine. It shall lead you to Paradise.
> ...



and stamina .....


----------



## Agnapostate (Feb 16, 2009)

Amanda said:


> It doesn't take as much effort to kneel behind someone and thrust as it does to hold yourself suspended over them AND thrust. I refer to the position only as it is a feat of strength, not my favorite. I'm more of a cowgirl myself.



That always makes men feel so useless. 

Though simultaneously ecstatic. So it works out.


----------



## Amanda (Feb 16, 2009)

Agnapostate said:


> Amanda said:
> 
> 
> > It doesn't take as much effort to kneel behind someone and thrust as it does to hold yourself suspended over them AND thrust. I refer to the position only as it is a feat of strength, not my favorite. I'm more of a cowgirl myself.
> ...



Hmmm... I've found they always manage to find a couple things to do.


----------



## driveby (Feb 16, 2009)

Amanda said:


> Agnapostate said:
> 
> 
> > Amanda said:
> ...



yep, you beat me to it ....


----------



## Agnapostate (Feb 16, 2009)

Yeah, a couple of things to do. Or grab.

Oops.


----------



## Amanda (Feb 16, 2009)

driveby said:


> Amanda said:
> 
> 
> > Agnapostate said:
> ...



I've been thinking about getting the girls pierced any thoughts on that?

I just bring it up because we were talking about them and I was having this PM conversation with someone earlier where they were all prudish about discussing their sexuality and it got me thinking how much I miss dick and how I'm not going to get any for a while cos he broke up with me, so it's been on my mind what could I do that would be fun and kinda shake things up a little (especially in a tight t-shirt).


----------



## Agnapostate (Feb 16, 2009)

Good luck getting through airport security.


----------



## del (Feb 16, 2009)

Amanda said:


> driveby said:
> 
> 
> > Amanda said:
> ...



my thought would be you might you might want to save this for a different venue. it's a political board- not tits 'r us.

thanks


----------

