# My Little Buddy



## PixieStix (Feb 18, 2014)

I have an American Eskimo, that is nearly 17 years old. It is coming to a place where I have to make the choice. I hate this. I have put it off and put it off. I am scared. I don't want to do this. I have had to have pets put to sleep 4 times in the least 7 years.

Link has been with me through so much. He is the end of the American Eskimo era  I have never loved a pet like I do Link

I think I am done, I don't ever want another pet...ever.


----------



## Kooshdakhaa (Feb 18, 2014)

Oh, God, PixieStix, I am so sorry. And even though I had to make a sudden decision to put my Greta to sleep on January 4th...words are escaping me. I don't know what to say to you.  But I am crying WITH you.

It's hard, so hard.  What you must do, you do out of love. What a good, long life Link has had...because of you.

Take comfort in that, if you can.


----------



## Connery (Feb 18, 2014)

I am very sorry PixieStix....


----------



## Coyote (Feb 18, 2014)

I'm so sorry Pixie...even at 17, it's still not an easy choice to make....(((((HUGS))))


----------



## Mr. H. (Feb 18, 2014)




----------



## tinydancer (Feb 18, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> I have an American Eskimo, that is nearly 17 years old. It is coming to a place where I have to make the choice. I hate this. I have put it off and put it off. I am scared. I don't want to do this. I have had to have pets put to sleep 4 times in the least 7 years.
> 
> Link has been with me through so much. He is the end of the American Eskimo era  I have never loved a pet like I do Link
> 
> I think I am done, I don't ever want another pet...ever.



Oh dearheart, I know our words can't comfort you but please know we care. I had a spell a few years back where it was living hell of back to back burials for my fuzzball family. Three cats and four dogs.

 All had been with me for many a year. Pyewacket 21 years. My husband never stopped digging graves it seemed and we never stopped crying. 

I'll be thinking of you.


----------



## AquaAthena (Feb 18, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> I have an American Eskimo, that is nearly 17 years old. It is coming to a place where I have to make the choice. I hate this. I have put it off and put it off. I am scared. I don't want to do this. I have had to have pets put to sleep 4 times in the least 7 years.
> 
> Link has been with me through so much. He is the end of the American Eskimo era  I have never loved a pet like I do Link
> 
> I think I am done, I don't ever want another pet...ever.



PixieStix, I feel your heart breaking, as many of us have had to say goodbye to our best and loyal friends. May these words help you and may your healing be bearable. You are one strong and fine lady, but at these times in life, we are weak and need support. Our hearts are hurting, so.  


IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous ---


----------



## syrenn (Feb 18, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> I have an American Eskimo, that is nearly 17 years old. It is coming to a place where I have to make the choice. I hate this. I have put it off and put it off. I am scared. I don't want to do this. I have had to have pets put to sleep 4 times in the least 7 years.
> 
> Link has been with me through so much. He is the end of the American Eskimo era  I have never loved a pet like I do Link
> 
> I think I am done, I don't ever want another pet...ever.



(((hugs)))

i know it is heart breaking and painful.


----------



## Toro (Feb 18, 2014)

I'm so sorry Pix.

I remember when I got the call when my parents put down our 18 year-old dog.  I cried.


----------



## Gracie (Feb 18, 2014)

I am so sorry pixie, hon. I know how you feel. So does Koosh. If there is anything I can do to ease your pain...anything...let me know.
17 is a very long time, hon. He loves you and knows you will do the right thing. Charlie got there at 13 due to cancer. So I told him to let me know when he was ready. He did one morning. Just the look in his eyes. The way he acted that day. I hugged him and looked in his eyes and said "are you ready now?" and he stared at me with those beautiful eyes and I saw his answer. I called the vet, they came to the house, I told charlie to lay on his blankey and I wold not leave his side. And I didn't. They did it right there in my living room. He even wagged his tail when the vet asked "ready charlie? Now?" and the vet did what love does. He sent my beloved charlie home...where Chooch and Fatty were waiting. And when Gracie went...they were waiting for her.

I hope Link is met at the bridge..by all he knew before..along with all those he will know from us knowing each other on a message board. I think he will.

Hugs, honey. BIG hugs to you and Link.

Talk to us often. Any time. we are here for you.


----------



## westwall (Feb 18, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> I have an American Eskimo, that is nearly 17 years old. It is coming to a place where I have to make the choice. I hate this. I have put it off and put it off. I am scared. I don't want to do this. I have had to have pets put to sleep 4 times in the least 7 years.
> 
> Link has been with me through so much. He is the end of the American Eskimo era  I have never loved a pet like I do Link
> 
> I think I am done, I don't ever want another pet...ever.








I am so very sad for you PixieStix.....


----------



## JakeStarkey (Feb 18, 2014)

PixieStix, when our Sadie, an AE, went down, I thought my heart would literally break.  I have never loved a pet like I did her.  But . . . if she is suffering terrible so that her life is an awful burden for her, then you know what you have to do.  Do it.

I am so sad typing this.  I am crying as I am typing this,  but . . . 

You may, eventually, want a pet again. Yet having do it for the fifth time in seven years is so hard.

I can't do anything but suffer with you, but that I can do.  And, in retrospect, I would have my Sadie again knowing the end.  She loved us like no other dog ever has.


----------



## Mojo2 (Feb 18, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> I have an American Eskimo, that is nearly 17 years old. It is coming to a place where I have to make the choice. I hate this. I have put it off and put it off. I am scared. I don't want to do this. I have had to have pets put to sleep 4 times in the least 7 years.
> 
> Link has been with me through so much. He is the end of the American Eskimo era  I have never loved a pet like I do Link
> 
> I think I am done, I don't ever want another pet...ever.



Been there. Done that.

I'm no longer going to endure that pain again if I can help it.

My heart goes out to those brave enough and loving enough to do it.

God love you.

And PixieStix, may God be with you and soothe your pain and dry your tears.

Of COURSE Link will be in a better place and will be whole and happy again soon.

We will help as much as we can.


----------



## PixieStix (Feb 18, 2014)

Thank you all so very much. I have been crying on and off all day. Spending time with my buddy.

I am so scared. My heart hurts so bad. Gracie, I am going to see if my vet will come here. I would like Link to be sent off from where he was conceived and born. He has always been such a happy dog. I want him to not be afraid, even if it means I have to watch his last moment. 

Again, thank you all.


----------



## Coyote (Feb 18, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> Thank you all so very much. I have been crying on and off all day. Spending time with my buddy.
> 
> I am so scared. My heart hurts so bad. Gracie, I am going to see if my vet will come here. I would like Link to be sent off from where he was conceived and born. He has always been such a happy dog. I want him to not be afraid, even if it means I have to watch his last moment.
> 
> Again, thank you all.



If you can (I know it's hard), be with him - you will be the last thing he sees and knows and is comforted by - you will be his rock and the last thing he will know is the person he loved best in this world.

I hope your vet will come to you - many do...


----------



## Gracie (Feb 18, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> Thank you all so very much. I have been crying on and off all day. Spending time with my buddy.
> 
> I am so scared. My heart hurts so bad. Gracie, I am going to see if my vet will come here. I would like Link to be sent off from where he was conceived and born. He has always been such a happy dog. I want him to not be afraid, even if it means I have to watch his last moment.
> 
> Again, thank you all.



Most vets will come to the house. Just tell him that is what you prefer. Mine came with a lady helper. It was very peaceful. And they didn't rush me after it was done. They sat there on the couch and waited for me to stop wailing..which I did not do while holding Charlie. Then I just nodded to them and they hugged me, went and got the stretcher and placed him lovingly in it and carried him out to their car. I got his ashes about  5 days later. Charlie was a big dog. Pure white border collie..weighed about 80 pounds. Well..he lost a lot of weight, so by the time I sent him, he was down to about 55 lbs.

I know you are scared honey. But be with him, ok? Pet him, lay next to him. Hold him. Look in his eyes and keep telling him you love him. Try not to cry. He will just be sad. Wait until the light is gone from his eyes...then you can cry. He will be in another light by then. Running wildly, met by others he knows and loves. I promise you this is what will happen. He will be ok. But YOU...you have to stick with us here and keep talking and talking and talking and letting us cry with you. YOU will not be alone in this.


----------



## Remodeling Maidiac (Feb 19, 2014)

I feel your pain Pixie.  I've revived my oldest dog twice. His time will be here soon. Try to keep a smile on.


----------



## Claudette (Feb 20, 2014)

I'm so sorry Pix but ya know its a choice all we pet lovers have to make and its the price we pay for allowing pets into our lives.

Its a price I'm more than willing to make because all of my dogs have been well worth it. The joy and companionship they bring into my life is worth having to make that oh so difficult decision. Its one I've made many, many times. 

Link will always be right where he belongs. In your heart.


----------



## Bluedog (Feb 20, 2014)

Sorry to hear that. I have no pets for a reason. I cannot handle this part of it. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## strollingbones (Feb 20, 2014)

so sorry pixie.....never an easy decision...consult your vet that is all you can do......


----------



## edthecynic (Feb 20, 2014)

Whatever you decide Link will always LIVE in your heart.


----------



## editec (Feb 20, 2014)

"If I never loved I never would have cried."


----------



## skye (Feb 20, 2014)

(((   )))


----------



## Moonglow (Feb 20, 2014)

I am always with my dogs to the end if possible.


----------



## PixieStix (Feb 20, 2014)

My little Buddy is gone


----------



## Connery (Feb 20, 2014)

Sorry PixieStix....


----------



## PixieStix (Feb 20, 2014)

edthecynic said:


> Whatever you decide Link will always LIVE in your heart.



Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends leave paw prints in your heart


----------



## syrenn (Feb 20, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> My little Buddy is gone



I am so so so very sorry for your loss hun. My heart goes out to you. 


(((((hugs)))))


----------



## Amelia (Feb 20, 2014)

((((((Pixie))))))


----------



## Gracie (Feb 20, 2014)

{{{{Link and Pixie}}}}}

I'm so very very sorry.


----------



## Gracie (Feb 20, 2014)

Hon...when you need comfort, we will be here. But Rainbow Bridge is also there for you too. Google it. They have helped me very much...and they will help you as well.


----------



## Mudflap (Feb 20, 2014)

There is nothing I can add that might comfort you. Sometimes the best thing to do is be silent, let the one hurting hurt, and let them know you're there.


----------



## Mudflap (Feb 20, 2014)

I almost decided not to share this because I don't want to make your grief worse, 
but my wife and I found some comfort in the past from this poem.........


To My Beloved Master   ~   author unknown

I stood by your bed last night
I came to have a peep
I could see that you were crying
You found it hard to sleep

I whined to you softly
As you brushed away a tear
"It's me, I haven't left you
"I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here"

I was close to you at breakfast
I watched you pour the tea
You were thinking of the many times
Your hands reached down to me

I was with you at the shops today
Your arms were getting sore
I longed to take your parcels 
I wish I could do more

I was with you at my grave today 
You tend it with such care
I want to reassure you 
That I'm not lying there

I walked with you towards the house 
As you fumbled for your key
I gently put my paw on you 
I smiled and said "It's me"

You looked so very tired 
And sank into a chair
I tried so hard to let you know 
That I was standing there

It's possible for me to be 
So near you everyday
To say to you with certainty 
"I never went away"

You sat there very quietly then smiled
I think you knew
In the stillness of that evening 
I was very close to you

The day is over
I smile and watch you yawning and say
"Goodnight, God bless 
"I'll see you in the morning"

And when the time is right for you 
To cross the brief divide
I'll rush across to greet you 
And we'll stand side by side

I have so many things to show you 
There is so much for you to see
Be patient, live your journey out ... 
Then come home to be with me


----------



## Gracie (Feb 20, 2014)

Mudflap said:


> I almost decided not to share this because I don't want to make your grief worse,
> but my wife and I found some comfort in the past from this poem.........
> 
> 
> ...



That one made me tear up. I needed to read that again, as a reminder. Thanky ou.


----------



## Mudflap (Feb 20, 2014)

Losing a beloved friend IS like losing a child. Some people don't understand that.


----------



## Katzndogz (Feb 20, 2014)

I am so sorry for you.   If only we could keep our beloveds with us forever, as long as we both shall live.   I have lost many loved pets in my life and I know I shall love many others who will have their place equally in my heart and they all hurt just as much.


----------



## Ravi (Feb 20, 2014)

Don't let him suffer. I let my sweetheart dog suffer for 12 hours because I couldn't let her go. I'll never forgive myself.

And don't stop having pets. Get a shelter dog. They are doomed without you.

Life sucks, but it's all we have.


----------



## PixieStix (Feb 20, 2014)

Right now, today...I cannot take a step in this house without expecting Link to be right there looking at me with his big brown eyes.

I am not sure how to do this. I have lost a lot of pets, but none has hurt me this bad.

I am grateful for all of you sharing your pets and your advice with me

He was one happy dog. My son told me, that is why he lived for so long,. The worst thing that ever happened to him is when he got lost and was at the kennel for 2 days


----------



## Gracie (Feb 20, 2014)

He is beautiful, Pixie. 
I wish I could wave a magic wand. I truly do.

Do you have other pets?


----------



## PixieStix (Feb 20, 2014)

Gracie said:


> He is beautiful, Pixie.
> I wish I could wave a magic wand. I truly do.
> 
> Do you have other pets?



I have cats.


----------



## Coyote (Feb 20, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> Right now, today...I cannot take a step in this house without expecting Link to be right there looking at me with his big brown eyes.
> 
> I am not sure how to do this. I have lost a lot of pets, but none has hurt me this bad.
> 
> ...



What a beautiful boy Pixie


----------



## PixieStix (Feb 20, 2014)

Coyote said:


> PixieStix said:
> 
> 
> > Right now, today...I cannot take a step in this house without expecting Link to be right there looking at me with his big brown eyes.
> ...



He was a good boy. Thank you Coyote


----------



## GISMYS (Feb 20, 2014)

If you were a born again believer,you could see your loved pet again and have it for eternity!!!!IMHO.


----------



## GISMYS (Feb 20, 2014)

If you were a born again believer,you could see your loved pet again and have it for eternity!!!!IMHO.[/QUOTE]

IMHO!!! Believers will have much loved pets with them for eternity. God loves animals,pets after all they are God's creation!


----------



## Gracie (Feb 20, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> Gracie said:
> 
> 
> > He is beautiful, Pixie.
> ...




I think it was Ravi that said get a shelter dog. Maybe after a short time, you should consider that? The dog in a cage needs you as much as you may need that dog. It will never take Links place. Ever. But having Karma helps me. And if I were not so afraid...I would go to the shelter myself. But I am still thinking about it. An older dog. One that needs love, is alone, doesn't know why it was dumped.
Yes. I might do that. I just have to get up the nerve. All Gracies balls and toys are still in the basket. Karma won't play with them. Maybe another dog will.
Grieve, hon. Then think about it.


----------



## Esmeralda (Feb 20, 2014)

&#8220;Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace.&#8221; 
&#8213; Milan Kundera 


I did that with my dog, when it was near time to let her go.  I drove to one of our favorite parks.  She could only walk a little ways, and as she was a 70 pound lab, I couldn't carry her. We walked a few yards from the parking lot and sat on a small hill, in the grass, that over looked the Puget Sound.  We'd been to that park, a huge park, and walked miles there many times.  She  loved the water too and had been swimming there many, many times. So we sat on the hill in the mild sun (it was March), and were just together.  When we walked back to the car, she turned and took a last look, probably wondering why we didn't go for a walk, but I knew she wasn't capable of it.  A few days later, I had to take her to the vet and let her go.  She had splenic cancer and it had gotten into her liver.  I waited as long as I possibly could because the vet said she was not in pain, just weakening and weakening daily.


She was the only dog in my life that was mine alone. I had her for 12 years and loved her beyond measure, so I know, Pixie, what you are going through.


----------



## Kooshdakhaa (Feb 20, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> Right now, today...I cannot take a step in this house without expecting Link to be right there looking at me with his big brown eyes.
> 
> I am not sure how to do this. I have lost a lot of pets, but none has hurt me this bad.
> 
> ...



He was one happy dog because you gave him a wonderful life and loved him so much.  

I am not sure how to do this, either, Pixie, and one of the hardest times for me is when I come  home from work or from the store, etc.  Because my Greta would always be right there and come bursting out into the garage and circle around the car a couple of times.  I'd come in the house and make sure the door to the garage wasn't closed all the way so she could come bursting into the house from the garage like a big shot!  The other dogs are just so low-key compared to her.  So it was really, really hard coming home.  Still is.  I'll start crying as I'm driving and approach our neighborhood. "Entering Greta's world," I'll say to myself.

Also had trouble waking up in the morning and then remembering that she was gone. And remembering that life had become a nightmare.  That has eased up somewhat in that it's really starting to sink in that she's gone.  At first I would kind of forget and then it would hit me like a sledgehammer all over again.

All you can do is put one foot in front of the other.  Keep moving forward, go through the paces and take one day at a time. And I know exactly what you mean...I've lost pets, too, but none like this.  This has been like losing a part of myself.  God, I miss her.

Just hang in there, let yourself mourn.  And know that you are not alone in this.


----------



## Remodeling Maidiac (Feb 21, 2014)

I played with my dogs a little longer tonight. Sad their lives are so short.


----------



## Mudflap (Feb 21, 2014)




----------



## tinydancer (Feb 21, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> Right now, today...I cannot take a step in this house without expecting Link to be right there looking at me with his big brown eyes.
> 
> I am not sure how to do this. I have lost a lot of pets, but none has hurt me this bad.
> 
> ...



The hardest part is that the pattern is broken. That's the emptiness that leaves you standing there with a bowl of food in your hand with no one to give it to. When you have the extra chicken juice in the roaster and no one to give it to. 

It's that emptiness I think that hurts the most. I brought up in another thread about the day that my Billy Ray this plain old brown roller (canary) died after years and years with us.

We're not crazy as humans when we mourn. My beasties were completely traumatized at not hearing his song anymore at sunset. My catahoulas started to sing knowing he was gone. 

We all feel the loss. But there are more to love. But the hurt of the loss of such a good friend is never undone. And so it is. And so we have been blessed.


----------



## tinydancer (Feb 21, 2014)

Mudflap said:


>



Now that is sweet.


----------



## Luddly Neddite (Feb 21, 2014)

IF IT SHOULD BE

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous --- 

It never gets any easier.


----------



## PixieStix (Feb 22, 2014)

The impact Link had/has on my life is absolutely astounding.  My best friend, who held no grudges, made no judgments and never demanded anything of me.

My emotions are raw...the void is deep....he held my heart steady for years. Now I have to deal with life without him. 

I see him out of the corner of my eyes at every turn, My kitties are looking for him, I expect to hear him clicking around the house. I realize now that I had learned to walk a certain way because Link was always at my feet, following me.Sometimes tripping me  He was my shadow. 

I have to learn to walk a different way with my beloved Link gone.............................

From a song....*He stole my world, and now I am just a phony*....he was indeed one of the best things that ever entered my life. He was perfect! For him, I would do it all over again.


----------



## Samson (Feb 22, 2014)




----------



## Coyote (Feb 22, 2014)

My friend always refers to those few special pets as our "heart dogs" - they are few and far between and when they go, they take a peice of our hearts with them


----------



## PixieStix (Feb 22, 2014)

Coyote said:


> My friend always refers to those few special pets as our "heart dogs" - they are few and far between and when they go, they take a peice of our hearts with them




Link was MY heart dog. I have lost a few....but this one took a big chunk of my heart


----------



## PixieStix (Feb 22, 2014)

Mudflap said:


>



Oh, that is so freaking cute. Thank you for making me smile


----------



## tinydancer (Feb 23, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> Mudflap said:
> 
> 
> >
> ...



I'm expecting a parade down main street. YAYAY SHES THE ONE THAT OPENENED THE CANS HE ONLY SCOOPED THE LITTER YAYAYA MOMMYS HERE


----------



## tinydancer (Feb 23, 2014)

hehehehehe I can dream. mommy's the best! Yeah yeah thats the ticket. I loved you when I gave you the tuna juice. yea yea thats the ticket.


----------



## Gracie (Feb 24, 2014)

Thinking of you Pixie.
Hugs


----------



## tinydancer (Feb 24, 2014)

We love. Aren't we blessed. They love us back. We really are and should rejoice in being happy campers.


----------



## tinydancer (Feb 24, 2014)

Gracie said:


> Thinking of you Pixie.
> Hugs



Me too gracie. Glad you are out there by the way.


----------



## Gracie (Feb 24, 2014)

[MENTION=18988]PixieStix[/MENTION]...Still thinking about you. Here is something I specifically went looking for because I think the words are very wise. And maybe it will help you in this time.


----------



## Kooshdakhaa (Feb 24, 2014)

I'm thinking of you, too, PixieStix.


----------



## Moonglow (Feb 24, 2014)

If anyone needs a dog, I have several that I have rescued and they are good dogs that need lots of love and attention....


----------



## Gracie (Mar 2, 2014)

[MENTION=18988]PixieStix[/MENTION]

Thinking of you still.


----------



## Mad_Cabbie (Mar 2, 2014)

PixieStix said:


> I have an American Eskimo, that is nearly 17 years old. It is coming to a place where I have to make the choice. I hate this. I have put it off and put it off. I am scared. I don't want to do this. I have had to have pets put to sleep 4 times in the least 7 years.
> 
> Link has been with me through so much. He is the end of the American Eskimo era  I have never loved a pet like I do Link
> 
> I think I am done, I don't ever want another pet...ever.


----------



## laziale (Mar 2, 2014)

American Eskimo


----------

