# Machete



## Samson (Mar 27, 2011)

A wonderful film for the whole Familia, in fact, bring along the whole RAZA!!

My favorite scene was nude Jessica Alba, nude Lindsay Lohan, and nude Michelle Rodriguez, some Other Nude Hispanic Chick in the opening scene, and the Nude MILF of Lohan's character

Happily, none of the males casted appeared nude:

Danny Trejo
Steven Seagal
Cheech Marin
Don Johnson
Robert De Niro

Or even in Tighty Whites. Indeed Seagal seemed perfectly clothed in what appeared to be some Oriental Tent.

Machete is a B-movie designed to characterize the illegal immigration debate in an extremely, Extremely, Bias POV of Mexicans who believe the US border is patrolled ONLY by murderous vigilantes that oddly have no effect on illegal immigration.


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## 3DG4life (Mar 27, 2011)

Sorry to break it to you.. But there was no nude Jessica Alba:

Jessica Alba's 'Machete' nude scene was only fantasy, CGI removed underwear worn by actress - New York Daily News

I was dissapointed too .


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## Samson (Mar 27, 2011)

3DG4life said:


> Sorry to break it to you.. But there was no nude Jessica Alba:
> 
> Jessica Alba's 'Machete' nude scene was only fantasy, CGI removed underwear worn by actress - New York Daily News
> 
> I was dissapointed too .



Well, here's the scene


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## Douger (Mar 27, 2011)

Only idiots watch TV and Jewvies.
 Try  TED: Ideas worth spreading and :: Download Free Political Documentaries And Watch Many Interesting, Controversial Free Documentary Films On That You Wont Find On The TV! :: if you'd like to save what is left of your brain.
Here is another.
Documentary Heaven | Watch Free Documentaries Online


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## Samson (Mar 27, 2011)

Douger said:


> Only idiots watch TV and Jewvies.
> Try  TED: Ideas worth spreading and :: Download Free Political Documentaries And Watch Many Interesting, Controversial Free Documentary Films On That You Wont Find On The TV! :: if you'd like to save what is left of your brain.
> Here is another.
> Documentary Heaven | Watch Free Documentaries Online



Whats a "Jewvie?"


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## Tank (Mar 27, 2011)




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## AllieBaba (Mar 27, 2011)

Does everybody die? I love shoot em ups, but I like them to have a sufficiently cheesy ending or I feel like I've been ripped off. Plus it depresses me.


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## Grace (Mar 27, 2011)

Love Danny. Great actor, in my opinion. Michelle Rodriques...shes great too.


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## Samson (Mar 27, 2011)

AllieBaba said:


> Does everybody die? I love shoot em ups, but I like them to have a sufficiently cheesy ending or I feel like I've been ripped off. Plus it depresses me.



Outside of the manditory opening scene When-The-Villian-Kills-The-Hero's-Family, there's only one protagonist that meets an untimely end.

BTW, the squal to Machete is, "Machete Kills!"

and the Threequal is, "Machete Kills, AGAIN!!"


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## Sallow (Mar 27, 2011)

Was a great film and very funny.


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## AllieBaba (Mar 27, 2011)

Ok, I'll have to watch it. Tho if it isn't on Netflix play instantly I'm out of luck today....I have had the same two Netflix dvds for months and months.


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## Samson (Mar 27, 2011)

IMEURU said:


> Love Danny. Great actor, in my opinion. Michelle Rodriques...shes great too.



Danny is One Ugly MF

Michelle OTOH


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## Blagger (Mar 27, 2011)

I'm in two minds on this. Yes, it was a senseless but entertaining plot with lots of cheesy gags that was compensated by plenty of graphic bloodshed, but as a rule I oppose anything that promotes and glorifies illigal immigration. Sure, it's no skin off my nose if some hungry dago jumps the US/Mexican border, but I resent the offhand remarks made by illegal immigrants towards their host nation, and there was plenty of what seemed like a genuine attempt to promote complacency towards illegal immigration and instill a sense of guilt into the nation suffering the effects of illegal migrants.

I know, I'm being petty and negative, but I couldn't help nod in agreement when my wife yelled "yeah, well go back to your own fuckin' country, yer freeloadin' beaner!" (she's American) at the TV after yet another dago was whining about supposed inequality.


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## Grace (Mar 27, 2011)

Danny is not the standard hollywood eye candy, no. But....he has a charisma...a....charm in his uniqueness, looks wise. I like him. Hell, Id do him. lol


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## Samson (Mar 27, 2011)

Swagger said:


> I'm in two minds on this. Yes, it was a senseless but entertaining plot with lots of cheesy gags that was compensated by plenty of graphic bloodshed, but as a rule I oppose anything that promotes and glorifies illigal immigration. Sure, it's no skin off my nose if some hungry dago jumps the US/Mexican border, but I resent the offhand remarks made by illegal immigrants towards their host nation, and there was plenty of what seemed like a genuine attempt to promote complacency towards illegal immigration and instill a sense of guilt into the nation suffering the effects of illegal migrants.
> 
> I know, I'm being petty and negative, but I couldn't help nod in agreement when my wife yelled "yeah, well go back to your own fuckin' country, yer freeloadin' beaner!" (she's American) at the TV after yet another dago was whining about supposed inequality.



 Look up dago in Wiktionary, the free dictionary. 



> Dago is an ethnic slur for people of Hispanic, Italian or Portuguese descent, used specifically in the US and Australia for *Italians*.



I've never heard anyone refer to a wet-back as a dago.


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## Samson (Mar 27, 2011)

IMEURU said:


> Danny is not the standard hollywood eye candy, no. But....he has a charisma...a....charm in his uniqueness, looks wise. I like him. Hell, Id do him. lol



He'd look sexier with a goatee


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## Blagger (Mar 27, 2011)

Samson said:


> Swagger said:
> 
> 
> > I'm in two minds on this. Yes, it was a senseless but entertaining plot with lots of cheesy gags that was compensated by plenty of graphic bloodshed, but as a rule I oppose anything that promotes and glorifies illigal immigration. Sure, it's no skin off my nose if some hungry dago jumps the US/Mexican border, but I resent the offhand remarks made by illegal immigrants towards their host nation, and there was plenty of what seemed like a genuine attempt to promote complacency towards illegal immigration and instill a sense of guilt into the nation suffering the effects of illegal migrants.
> ...



I can only beg your forgiveness, Samson. We Brits often say dago when referring to those treacherous latin-types one finds in places like Spain and Portugal.

A thousand apologies. I shall write to inform the Prime Minister immediately of this so-far unchecked national error.


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## Samson (Mar 27, 2011)

Swagger said:


> Samson said:
> 
> 
> > Swagger said:
> ...



De nada, Limey.


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## 3DG4life (Mar 27, 2011)

Samson said:


> IMEURU said:
> 
> 
> > Love Danny. Great actor, in my opinion. Michelle Rodriques...shes great too.
> ...



Damn.


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## Phoenix (Apr 7, 2011)

Machete was so bad - like a train wreck that you just can't stop watching.

My brother put it on my list of movies to watch. I text'd him telling him it was horrible. He laughed like the dork he is.  My big brother rocks!


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## Phoenix (Apr 7, 2011)

Samson said:


> IMEURU said:
> 
> 
> > Danny is not the standard hollywood eye candy, no. But....he has a charisma...a....charm in his uniqueness, looks wise. I like him. Hell, Id do him. lol
> ...



Or maybe after a bottle of something very, very high in alcohol content.

Still wouldn't do him. He's all yours, Grace.


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## Zona (Apr 7, 2011)

IMEURU said:


> Love Danny. Great actor, in my opinion. Michelle Rodriques...shes great too.



She was so damn hot in fast and the furious.  She is a babe!


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## Zona (Apr 7, 2011)

Samson said:


> IMEURU said:
> 
> 
> > Love Danny. Great actor, in my opinion. Michelle Rodriques...shes great too.
> ...



How's the eye.....
What eye....

Great stuff.

Oh and she is such a babe.


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## Zona (Apr 7, 2011)

Swagger said:


> I'm in two minds on this. Yes, it was a senseless but entertaining plot with lots of cheesy gags that was compensated by plenty of graphic bloodshed, but as a rule I oppose anything that promotes and glorifies illigal immigration. Sure, it's no skin off my nose if some hungry dago jumps the US/Mexican border, but I resent the offhand remarks made by illegal immigrants towards their host nation, and there was plenty of what seemed like a genuine attempt to promote complacency towards illegal immigration and instill a sense of guilt into the nation suffering the effects of illegal migrants.
> 
> I know, I'm being petty and negative, but I couldn't help nod in agreement when my wife yelled "yeah, well go back to your own fuckin' country, yer freeloadin' beaner!" (she's American) at the TV after yet another dago was whining about supposed inequality.



Illegal Italians are fine here in the states.  Its the brown ones we as Americans dont like. 


ed.  I see you found out what we call dago's.  lol  Remember, they are white, so if they are here illegally, its fine.  Just like the Canadians.  Its the brown ones we dont like.


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