# The Best of NASCAR jokes!



## hylandrdet

With the start of the NASCAR season, I present some NASCAR jokes...

N eurotic
A utomotive
S port for
C razy
A ss
R ednecks

Why aren't there no blacks in NASCAR?
Because they can't drive a mile without being pulled over.

Why aren't there no women in NASCAR?
Do you really want a woman, checking out her make-up, in the mirror, while driving over 200 miles per hour?

Why do NASCAR drivers race on oval tracks?
Rednecks can't read books, much less a map!

What does NASCAR and politics have in common?
You turn to the left, you're running in circles; you turn to the right, you get stonewalled; either way your life is still in the pits!

Why are there so many liquor and beer sponsors in NASCAR?
Redneck heritage- Drinking until you're drunk, jumping into a car and driving around in circles before you wreck! From there, you get out of the car and start a fight!

Why does Al Gore and John Kerry have a grudge against NASCAR drivers?
Because NASCAR drivers can turn to the left, in the SOUTH, and still win!

Feel free to add more jokes!


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## fuzzykitten99

hylandrdet said:
			
		

> N eurotic
> A utomotive
> S port for
> C razy
> A ss
> R ednecks


I resemble that remark!


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## Johnney

hylandrdet said:
			
		

> With the start of the NASCAR season, I present some NASCAR jokes...
> 
> N eurotic
> A utomotive
> S port for
> C razy
> A ss
> R ednecks
> 
> Why aren't there no blacks in NASCAR?
> Because they can't drive a mile without being pulled over.
> 
> Why aren't there no women in NASCAR?
> Do you really want a woman, checking out her make-up, in the mirror, while driving over 200 miles per hour?
> 
> Why do NASCAR drivers race on oval tracks?
> Rednecks can't read books, much less a map!
> 
> What does NASCAR and politics have in common?
> You turn to the left, you're running in circles; you turn to the right, you get stonewalled; either way your life is still in the pits!
> 
> Why are there so many liquor and beer sponsors in NASCAR?
> Redneck heritage- Drinking until you're drunk, jumping into a car and driving around in circles before you wreck! From there, you get out of the car and start a fight!
> 
> Why does Al Gore and John Kerry have a grudge against NASCAR drivers?
> Because NASCAR drivers can turn to the left, in the SOUTH, and still win!
> 
> Feel free to add more jokes!



still trying to figure out the appeal of this sport...
evryones crazy about this, but if you think about it we all do the same thing in our everyday life.  jump in a car, drive in circles.  albeit much slower


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## Merlin1047

Johnney said:
			
		

> still trying to figure out the appeal of this sport...
> evryones crazy about this, but if you think about it we all do the same thing in our everyday life.  jump in a car, drive in circles.  albeit much slower



Have you watched any formula one racing lately?  Talk about boring.  The winner usually finishes three weeks ahead of #2.  Or what about those road race rallys where fifty seven different classes of cars compete.  You have to have a calculator and a photographic memory to figure out who's ahead.  You see a guy pass some other car, only to figure out it was meaningless because the other car is in a different grouping.

And then there are events like the french Grand Prix.  You can sleep for 8 hours during the middle of the race and still have plenty of time left to be bored to tears before the damn thing is finally over.  It's rather like a soap opera - if you don't watch it for a month, then start again, you really haven't missed a thing.


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## Merlin1047

Oh - and a P.S.

If this is such a "redneck" sport as you claim - explain the NASCAR events in southern California.


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## hylandrdet

Merlin1047 said:
			
		

> Oh - and a P.S.
> 
> If this is such a "redneck" sport as you claim - explain the NASCAR events in southern California.



They also have NASCAR events in Michigan; you know, the state where I claim I was born.

These are jokes, bub.

What does Jeff Gordan and Jason Giambi have in commom?

They both had cheated in their perspective sports. Jason used steriods, Jeff used a diploma.


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