# How to spot a Republican:



## candycorn (Nov 25, 2010)

The following joke is by a commenter over at Crooks and Liars. I thought it was good enough to pass on to you guys.
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."


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## DiveCon (Nov 25, 2010)

candycorn said:


> The following joke is by a commenter over at Crooks and Liars. I thought it was good enough to pass on to you guys.
> A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
> 
> The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
> ...


old joke
with the examples reversed


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## DiveCon (Nov 25, 2010)

but kinda funny that the liberals at that site had to plagiarize it

LOL


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## fyrenza (Nov 25, 2010)

*next!*


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## Madeline (Nov 25, 2010)




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## midcan5 (Nov 25, 2010)

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WCxz0fzHm8[/ame]


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## Madeline (Nov 25, 2010)

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jB-zAohDjk"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jB-zAohDjk[/ame]


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## daveman (Nov 25, 2010)

DiveCon said:


> candycorn said:
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> > The following joke is by a commenter over at Crooks and Liars. I thought it was good enough to pass on to you guys.
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Yeah.  Just doesn't work this way, does it?


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## Madeline (Nov 25, 2010)

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9UhK5fN0Xg"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9UhK5fN0Xg[/ame]


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## DiveCon (Nov 25, 2010)

daveman said:


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nope


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## goldcatt (Nov 25, 2010)

DiveCon said:


> but kinda funny that the liberals at that site had to plagiarize it
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> LOL



It's funny either way, depending who's on which side at the time. All they ever do is switch back and forth, there's nothing new under the sun.


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## DiveCon (Nov 25, 2010)

goldcatt said:


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naw, it makes no sense this way


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## goldcatt (Nov 25, 2010)

DiveCon said:


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Not to you.


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## edthecynic (Nov 25, 2010)

DiveCon said:


> candycorn said:
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> > The following joke is by a commenter over at Crooks and Liars. I thought it was good enough to pass on to you guys.
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DiveCon said:


> but kinda funny that the liberals at that site had to plagiarize it
> 
> LOL


Another example of the first quote in my sig.

The joke originally had "engineers" and "management" as the two characters, so if what you say is true, then the CON$ plagiarized it first!


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## edthecynic (Nov 25, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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The sniveling little coward DumbCon calls me a liar in the comments box for a neg rep but doesn't have the guts to challenge my post here in public!



> http://humorvault.tripod.com/engineer/engin_4.html
> 
> A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
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> ...





> http://www.independent-consulting-bootcamp.com/consultant-jokes.html
> 
> Consultant Jokes - # 5
> Management&#8230;
> ...


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## DiveCon (Nov 25, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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diposhit, you must realize that that proves NOTHING


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## edthecynic (Nov 25, 2010)

DiveCon said:


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Well the pusillanimous poltroon crawls out of his spider hole!

It proves more than anything you've posted so far since you have yet to even post the joke with Dem and Rep reversed! 

The first version I posted was the original version of the engineer joke and the second one I posted was the later modified version of the engineer joke that was even later turned in to a political joke.

Post the earliest dated version of the joke as you say it first existed, and I'll post an earlier dated existence of the engineer version.
Come on you little chickenshit, prove me wrong!


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## DiveCon (Nov 25, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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fuck off moron


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## edthecynic (Nov 25, 2010)

DiveCon said:


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Translation: You know the joke started out as engineer and management and then was plagiarized by both CON$ and Libs, but as a CON$ervative you are too dishonest to admit you are wrong, and even worse that I am Right!
Thank you. 
I still OWN you!


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## DiveCon (Nov 25, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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fuck off moron


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## Missourian (Nov 26, 2010)

I neg repped you because your post proves nothing.

I can't recall how many times I've heard this joke with a dem in the balloon...

Whether or not that is the first incarnation of this joke (which you have failed to prove),  it was definitely the first political incarnation.

For the Dems to attempt to convert such a well known joke is totally lame.


Edit -  Here it is posted a year and a half ago,  right here on USMB.  http://www.usmessageboard.com/humor/76226-obama-joke.html#post1208292


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## Kat (Nov 26, 2010)

Thought I was popping in to read a joke...instead a fight broke out..


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## DiveCon (Nov 26, 2010)

Kat said:


> Thought I was popping in to read a joke...instead a fight broke out..


naw, no fight
just edthemoron showing what an asshole he can be


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## Kat (Nov 26, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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You own no one. And Dive most definitely DOES admit it when he is wrong.


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## edthecynic (Nov 26, 2010)

Missourian said:


> I neg repped you because your post proves nothing.
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> I can't recall how many times I've heard this joke with a dem in the balloon...
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No more lame than CON$ attempting to convert it from its original form!

But you are consistent with the first quote in my sig, you have proven nothing also.

And whether the first incarnation of the joke was political or not is the essence of my argument with DumbCon, who mocked Libs for plagiarizing what he alleges CON$ had plagiarized, er .... er .... created first.

I'll offer you the same challenge, post the earliest dated political incarnation of the joke and I'll post an earlier dated version of the engineer/management version. The joke didn't become political until AFTER the later expanded second version of the engineer/management joke. If you were as observant as a Cynic you would have seen the political version copies the format of the later longer version of the engineer/management joke.



> Originally Posted by DiveCon
> but kinda funny that the liberals at that site had to plagiarize it
> 
> LOL



First shorter version:



> A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
> 
> The man below said, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
> 
> ...



Later longer version:



> A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me. Can you help me?* I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago,* but I don't know where I am."
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> The man below says, "Yes, you are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 40 feet above this field.* You are between 46 & 48 degrees N latitude and between 52 & 56 degrees W. longitude."*
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> ...


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## edthecynic (Nov 26, 2010)

Kat said:


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Not when* I *expose his mistakes!


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## Kat (Nov 26, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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Guess *YOU* don't have the magic touch.


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## DiveCon (Nov 26, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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it was a joke you fucking moron


shit you are a total fucking hyperpartisan moron

and this wasnt a mistake as you have yet to prove which was first


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## edthecynic (Nov 26, 2010)

Kat said:


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That's not what women tell me!


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## DiveCon (Nov 26, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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a lot of women LIE about things like that


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## edthecynic (Nov 26, 2010)

DiveCon said:


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You have yet to prove in what year CON$ plagiarized it first!!!!

When you or anyone else posts a dated political version I will post an earlier dated version of the engineer/management joke.


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## edthecynic (Nov 26, 2010)

DiveCon said:


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And you are obviously speaking from EXPERIENCE!!!!!


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## DiveCon (Nov 26, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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nope
i dont go by what they say


if you actually had the experience you claim, you would know better


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## Kat (Nov 26, 2010)

You two..



STOP IT!


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## edthecynic (Nov 26, 2010)

Missourian said:


> I neg repped you because your post proves nothing.
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> I can't recall how many times I've heard this joke with a dem in the balloon...
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Only a year and a half ago, that's a pretty feeble try, but at least you tried that's more than I can say for DumbCon.

Here is the later longer version of the engineer/management joke from Aug 28, 1999, #425 at bottom of the page, and I STILL have an earlier posting of the shorter first version!

Work Jokes - AJokeADay.com - Jokes... Jokes... Jokes... Jokes... Jokes...


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## DiveCon (Nov 26, 2010)

leave it to edthemoron to make a joke thread in the HUMOR forum serious

what a fucking moron


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## Missourian (Nov 26, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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Political joke back to at least 2001.

republican hot air balloon joke - Google Search


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## edthecynic (Nov 26, 2010)

Missourian said:


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Last I checked 1999 precedes 2001, so the CON$ are still plagiarists.


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## Missourian (Nov 26, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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I know this isn't going to penetrate, but what the heck,  I got a couple minutes to waste.

Changing a 1999 niche joke into a funny political joke a couple years later...not lame.

Trying to reverse an established political joke 10 years later...totally lame.

I don't expect you to understand Ed,  but you can't blame me for trying.


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## edthecynic (Nov 26, 2010)

Missourian said:


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I know this isn't going to penetrate, but what the heck,  I got a couple minutes to waste.

Changing a 1999 niche joke into a funny political joke a couple years later...PLAGIARISM.

Trying to reverse an "established???" political joke THE SAME DAY... still PLAGIARISM.

I don't expect you to understand,  but you can't blame me for trying.

From your linked search dated Feb 1, 2001, so who established their plagiarized version first?

All Jokes | Reader's Digest
Feb 1, 2001 - The Difference Between Republicans and Democrats. A woman in a hot-air balloon is lost, so she shouts to a man below, "Excuse me. I promised a . ...
The Difference Between Republicans and Democrats | Daily Life Jokes | Reader's Digest

A woman in a hot-air balloon is lost, so she shouts to a man below, "Excuse me. I promised a friend I would meet him, but I don't know where I am." 

"You're at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude," he replies. 

"You must be a Democrat." 

"I am. How did you know?" 

"Because everything you told me is technically correct, but the information is useless, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've been no help." 

"You must be a Republican." 

"Yes. How did you know?" 

"You've risen to where you are due to a lot of hot air, you made a promise you couldn't keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."


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## JBeukema (Nov 26, 2010)

seriously, you negged him for saying he first ever heard it as a swipe at mgmt?


lame, dude, uber lame


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## JBeukema (Nov 26, 2010)

DiveCon said:


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maybe to you


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## JBeukema (Nov 26, 2010)

DiveCon said:


> leave it to edthemoron to make a joke thread in the HUMOR forum serious
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> what a fucking moron


it was y'all who got butthurt and started on about the OP 'stealing' the joke


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## DiveCon (Nov 26, 2010)

JBeukema said:


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dude, i was JOKING
sheeesh you have about as much humor as edthemoron


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## DiveCon (Nov 26, 2010)

JBeukema said:


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and to YOU too


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## JBeukema (Nov 26, 2010)

DiveCon said:


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simma down, now

How do you tell a Democrat from a Republican?























No, seriously, I can't see any real difference


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## Article 15 (Nov 26, 2010)

This thread has long since gone full retard.  Please stop.


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## JBeukema (Nov 26, 2010)

DiveCon said:


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So she was lying?

I feel much better now...

thanks, dive!


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## mudwhistle (Nov 26, 2010)

edthecynic said:


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Oh....so there are no Conservative engineers and managers?

Your constant hyperbole is quite amusing.

Btw....I just made an ABSURD comment just to make fun of your usual tactics.


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## edthecynic (Nov 26, 2010)

mudwhistle said:


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You are too BRILLIANT for words.
I was just illustrating absurdity by being absurd.


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## daveman (Nov 26, 2010)

mudwhistle said:


> Oh....so there are no Conservative engineers and managers?



Just 6%.


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## rdean (Nov 26, 2010)

daveman said:


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6% of scientists.

I suspect for engineers, the numbers are probably similar.  I've never met a Republican engineer.

Managers?  Now many  of those are probably Republicans.  I don't see Republicans having a problem firing anyone or taking advantage.  I think it may be part of their Party Platform, I'm not sure.

http://onthehillblog.blogspot.com/2010/09/unions-engineers-welcome-obamas-50.html

Engineers Welcome Obama's $50 Billion Infrastructure Plan -- GOP, Not So Much 

Support for President Obama's proposal to spend $50 billion to create American jobs by repairing roads and other U.S. infrastructure came from various quarters Monday. Not surprisingly, however, a top Washington Republican immediately opposed the plan.

The civil engineering profession and the unions that played host to Obama's Labor Day announcement are among those to voice approval for the president's strategy to boost the sagging U.S. economy through a large infrastructure expenditure.


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## rdean (Nov 26, 2010)

According to a quick search on Fundrace, in the 2008 Presidential race 3,944 donors who identified themselves as software engineers donated to Democrats vs. 1,128 to Republicans. 

https://www.quora.com/Do-Silicon-Valley-engineers-tend-to-skew-Republican-or-Democrat

I think you would actually expect there to be more Republicans in some engineering fields.  Software, chemical, a few others.

Fields where you wouldn't expect many are in geology, biology, climatology, anything that might touch on "evolution" or the "age of the earth" or "climate change".  Those fields interferes with "mystical beliefs".

Another surprising discovery, when you look up engineering organizations, you find ones such as this:

Student Alliance of Gay Engineers (SAGE) | Facebook

Student Alliance of Gay Engineers (SAGE)Category:Student Groups - Clubs & SocietiesDescription:The mission of SAGE is to create a safe space for LGBTQ students in engineering and similar majors.

SAGE strives for that goal by holing various social and professional development events for undergraduate and graduate LGBTQ and ally students, catering to the fields of engineering, science, technology, and math.

There are also organization of scientists for women, blacks, Hispanics.  I couldn't find any for Republicans or conservatives.  I didn't say they exist, I just couldn't find any, and believe me, I looked.


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## Liability (Nov 26, 2010)

retardean.  Just wind him up!  Look at him go.

It's like a Pavlovian response.   

If retardean sees the number 6 and the percentage sign following it, he is OBLIGATED (obsessive compulsive behavior) to make his "argument."

Hey, retardean!    pssst ...

 6%


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## daveman (Nov 26, 2010)

rdean said:


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I work with engineers.  They are all conservatives.


For someone who claims to be all science-y, you sure do bitterly cling to that unscientific poll.


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## sangha (Nov 26, 2010)

So what's the republican version of this joke?

The wingnuts claim they got one, but I haven't seen it yet.


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## Liability (Nov 26, 2010)

sangha said:


> So what's the republican version of this joke?
> 
> The wingnuts claim they got one, but I haven't seen it yet.



The wingnut version was the one quoted in the OP.

The "Republican" version was something like this (although it too got updated):

A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. 
She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I 
don't know where I am."
The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.
"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?" 
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct.  But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost.  Frankly, you've not been much help to me." 
The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?" 
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.. You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air.  You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

I recall a version from some years back that involved Shrillary Rotten Clinton as the one in the balloon.


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## sangha (Nov 26, 2010)

Liability said:


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That makes no sense. Why would anyone think that the member of a party that rejects evolution and science, and thinks the universe is 5000 years old, would know about latitude and longitude and altitude?


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## Liability (Nov 26, 2010)

sangha said:


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The GOP does not reject any of those things.  Your mindless reliance on dishonest stereotypes distinguishes you as one of the less intelligent liberoidal idiots.


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## Liability (Nov 26, 2010)

Q. What's the difference between Obama giving a speech and a cardboard cutout of Obama giving a speech?

A. The cardboard cutout looks at the camera instead of the teleprompter.


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## sangha (Nov 26, 2010)

Liability said:


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In the last presidential primaries, none of the republican contenders believed in evolution.


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## Liability (Nov 26, 2010)

Q. What's the difference between President Obama giving a speech and a cardboard cutout of President Obama giving a speech?

A. The cardboard cutout looks at the camera instead of the teleprompter.



Funny AND true.

Q. What will the difference be between President Obama and Karl Marx?

A. Karl Marx had way more experience.


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## Liability (Nov 26, 2010)

sangha said:


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Bullshit.


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## sangha (Nov 26, 2010)

Liability said:


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Another wingnut has been reduced to cursing

I accept your surrender


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## Liability (Nov 26, 2010)

sangha said:


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You *are* the wingnut, and bullshit is just a barnyard epithet.

And what you posted is bullshit.

Since you found it necessary to make-up such bullshit, you lost before you even began.  

 I happily recognize your defeat.


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## Sallow (Nov 26, 2010)

daveman said:


> I work with engineers.  They are all conservatives.
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> For someone who claims to be all science-y, you sure do bitterly cling to that unscientific poll.



I work with software engineers and managers in the financial field. It's a mixed bag. I find that managers are mostly center right..or apolitical (but you will find the most conservative leaners, here). Engineers are all over the place. But most of them I find to be liberatarian or liberal. Admins are mostly liberal...with smatterings of liberatarians and conservatives.


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## DiveCon (Nov 26, 2010)

Liability said:


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sangha is an idiot on the order of rdean


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## JBeukema (Nov 26, 2010)

"And the big guns are out. The Democrats have sent Hillary to Florida to  go after Sarah Palin. So, that makes two Clintons trying to nail her  now." --Jay Leno


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## rdean (Nov 26, 2010)

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"Unscientific Poll" from PEW Research?  You're crazy.

I've heard many Republicans insist that there are lots of Republican scientists and engineers.  I just don't understand why they say that?

The Republicans are the most anti science group I've ever heard from.  Seriously, look at their positions on "climate change" and look how many want to teach the "alternative" to evolution.  What does that tell you?  Seriously, what does that tell you?

Think it through.  You can't point to a group that doesn't believe in science or what scientists have to say and then insist that many of them ARE scientists.  It's bullshit.






Besides, look at the reason many become scientists.  It ain't the money.  If it ain't the money, how likely is it for Republicans to be interested?

That's just common sense.


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## DiveCon (Nov 26, 2010)

rdean said:


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what you fail at in your poll data is that the poll was NOT a random sample of scientists, it was a very specific group of scientists
pro AGW ones
not hard to believe that only 6% of PRO AGW scientists would be republicans


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## daveman (Nov 26, 2010)

Sallow said:


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The engineers I work with are military or retired military.  You know, the kind of people whose absentee ballots Democrats don't like to count.


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## daveman (Nov 26, 2010)

rdean said:


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Y'know, pointing to your irrational hatred as proof of your assertions only proves that you're irrational.

As if we needed more proof.


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## sangha (Nov 27, 2010)

In wingnut world, one shows ones' respect for science by rejecting scientific polls and scientific findings.


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## DiveCon (Nov 27, 2010)

sangha said:


> In wingnut world, one shows ones' respect for science by rejecting scientific polls and scientific findings.


yeah, because any poll can be made to say anything you want

you prove once again you are a moron


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## sangha (Nov 27, 2010)

DiveCon said:


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But Creationism is OK in wingnut world. Polls can be made to say anything, but Creationism is The Absolute Truth

Just a couple of the many ways wingnuts show their high regard for science


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## DiveCon (Nov 27, 2010)

sangha said:


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again, you show yourself to be a fucking moron


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