# Is There NEVER a Time to Hit a Woman?  NEVER?



## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.

In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.

After a few months I realized I had to get rid of her .  She had started threatening my life and the life of our daughter if I ever left her.  I had not hit her because I refused to hit a woman but she beat me black and blue a few times a week.  All I did was try to fend off her attacks.  One week she kept saying that she was going to kill me.  I tried my best to calm her down but the night came.  I don't know why I woke up but for whatever reason I awoke to find her over me with a 12" chef's knife in her hand.  She thrust it down at me and I rolled out of the way and it stuck in the bed. She wasn't kidding around.  She pulled it out of the bed and lunged at me stabbing and slashing at me and then I did it.  I clocked her dead in the face.  She stumbled back and gathered herself and screamed "how dare you hit me" and charged me again with the knife above her head screaming like a banshee.  I deflected her stab, kicked her in the crotch, and punched her in the throat.  She went down and I took the knife from her and called the police.

The police told me that since there were only marks on her they would have to arrest me for domestic violence and of course she screamed that I attacked her for no reason.  It never came to that, but I had to endure three more months of her abuse until she was stupid enough to attack me in front of a witness.  Then I was able to get rid of her and keep my child. 

I have no doubt in my mind that she would have killed me had I not clocked her.  I have no doubt in my mind that had I not endured it until I had a witness that allowed me to keep my daughter that my daughter would be dead now.  She would have killed her.  

So that's my "_why I stayed"_ story.  I look back on it often given the recent "i_t's *NEVER *ok to hit a woman_" stuff and think to myself "_people who say that have never experienced what I have experienced or the thousands of men who have abusive wives/girlfriends_". Sometimes it *IS *ok I think. I am completely convinced that had I not clocked that girl I would be dead now and my daughter may be as well.  

I think there IS a time to hit a woman.  I think the circumstances are very select and a man should show restraint to only use violence to stop the threat, but in certain circumstances...it's justified.  My experience with that girl has taught me that I don't care who it is.  If someone (man or woman) is attacking me and I feel I am in danger of real harm I am going to take that person out to the best of my abilities and gender doesn't matter to me at all.  

I welcome your thoughts.


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## G.T. (Sep 25, 2015)

i dunn believe you bro

nuttin personal tho


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

G.T. said:


> i dunn believe you bro
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> nuttin personal tho



Because women are so so angelic that they are incapable of attacking men?  Your response is exactly why men don't report it when they have been abused.


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## Care4all (Sep 25, 2015)

Hitting her would reduce you to her level, and escalate the violence or her trying to hurt you even more, imo leaving would be the right thing to do, which you eventually did.

Also, getting her help....she is obviously not stable, something is wrong upstairs and she needs or needed, professional help....


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## Sun Devil 92 (Sep 25, 2015)

We have a friend whose wife throws him around and whacks him from time to time.  

I don't think he strikes her back.

However, it is more cultural.....

I don't think she has threatened him.


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## G.T. (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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nah...
cuz thats attempted murder and most leo's arent that incompetent to not address it as such.


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## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

I think that if women don't want to be punched, they shouldn't punch people.  I understand that men are stronger, in many cases a lot stronger, but I am familiar with many women who have been violent towards men or who initiate hitting or punching the guy while expecting him not to hit back.

I think that's bullshit.

But I have to agree with GT that something is off about BP's story.  I smell a strong smell of bullshit.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

Care4all said:


> Hitting her would reduce you to her level, and escalate the violence or her trying to hurt you even more, imo leaving would be the right thing to do, which you eventually did.
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> Also, getting her help....she is obviously not stable, something is wrong upstairs and she needs or needed, professional help....




I won the court case because of the witness and was granted total custody of my daughter.  At the hearing her attorney said it was impossible for a woman to abuse a man and the judge (who was was a woman) invited her to take a tour of the state prisons that were filled with women who attacked men.  

I told my ex at the hearing that if she could get a psychiatrist to sign off that she was safe to be around our daughter that I would grant her visitation.  She never did.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

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Yeah...prove it.  Like to cops said.  She had marks and I didn't.  They threatened to arrest ME dude.


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

I would hope that I would have left a person long before it escalated into a situation like that.  Geesh!    Thankfully nobody has ever tried to kill me before is all I can say.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

pillars said:


> I think that if women don't want to be punched, they shouldn't punch people.  I understand that men are stronger, in many cases a lot stronger, but I am familiar with many women who have been violent towards men or who initiate hitting or punching the guy while expecting him not to hit back.
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> I think that's bullshit.
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> But I have to agree with GT that something is off about BP's story.  I smell a strong smell of bullshit.




Feel free to ask TrinityPower.  She knows the entire story and even met the girl I am referring to several years later.

BTW...reactions like that really annoy me.  Steve McNair...killed by a psycho girlfriend.  Fred lane...killed by a psycho wife.  It happens more than you think.  Your reaction is a contributing factor to why men are reluctant to admit they have been abused.  People either call them pussies or say they don't believe it.  If a woman claimed to be abused everyone would go out of their way to display compassion and anger toward her abuser.  If a man claims it, he is a liar.  Reactions like that are part of the problem


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> 
> In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.
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I'm thinking thank God you are alive and your daughter is alive and you had to do whatever you had to do to stop her, Phantom!  Come on now!  You saved your daughters life is what you did and I thank God she is with you and not this woman that was clearly a danger to you, your daughter and herself.  Hindsight is 20/20 as they say but I think you should have called the police and reported her the first time she put her hands on you. She had no right to physically attack you.  The statue throwing?  She could have killed you.  It's very serious.  I am sorry you endured such a terrible thing and I'm glad to hear you made it out and have custody of your child.  That is truly God looking out for you.  

If you should ever find yourself in a relationship where a woman throws something at you or physically attacks you?  Call the police on her and do not be ashamed to make the report.  You'll be doing her a favor because she will realize she can not do that to a man and get away with it.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> I would hope that I would have left a person long before it escalated into a situation like that.  Geesh!    Thankfully nobody has ever tried to kill me before is all I can say.




And leave your child in a psychopath's custody?


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## HereWeGoAgain (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> 
> In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.
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  You aint alone.
She never tried to kill me but she had a violent streak from a previous marriage because he used to beat the shit out of her....he was a cop by the way.
    Over time I got sick of it and told her if you do it again I'll call the cops because I wont hit you.
Of course it happened again and I called the cops and told them if they didnt get here soon I was going to knock the shit out of her.
    Cops showed up and they told her they'd take her to jail normally but they were going to cut her some slack because I insisted.
    She never raised her hand against me again...that was over 22 years ago and we just hit our 25 anniversary and couldnt be happier.
     She thanked me for calling the cops on her.


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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> > I think that if women don't want to be punched, they shouldn't punch people.  I understand that men are stronger, in many cases a lot stronger, but I am familiar with many women who have been violent towards men or who initiate hitting or punching the guy while expecting him not to hit back.
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I should have mentioned this also - I am very proud of you.  I truly am impressed by your strength, BluePhantom.  It is not easy to tell a story in which you are the victim - I know this because it is never easy for me to share my own stories.  Yet you decided to do it and by doing so I believe you are helping some guys here who may know someone or be victims of this type of abuse themselves!   You've done a very good thing in sharing your story and I appreciate your willingness to put yourself out there for others.  I respect you for what you've done and I think it is wonderful that you are raising your daughter!    I'm very proud of you!!


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

Jeremiah said:


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> ...




I thank you for your sentiments and actually taking it seriously (unlike some others who apparently think women cannot abuse men) but you are missing something important.  This was 20 years ago.  My daughter is 21 now.  Back then I had very little chance of saving my daughter if I didn't have a witness to prove my girlfriend's abusiveness.  I DID call the police.  They threatened to arrest ME.  It was a different time back then but judging by some people's reactions to my OP...maybe things haven't changed so much.


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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Did you not know this person was a psychopath before you impregnated her?


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 25, 2015)

HereWeGoAgain said:


> BluePhantom said:
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> ...



There is no faster wake up call then to call the police and report them.  I'm glad to see that she woke up and realized that wasn't the way to communicate with you.  You both won.


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## Care4all (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


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Postpartum depression/psychosis ....she needed help...just like Andrea Yates...  it happened right after the baby, she was normal before the baby he said....so that's my guess....


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 25, 2015)

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You know what?  You're right!  I'm sorry.  I wasn't thinking about that but after I posted the first response it did occur to me that by you suffering through it as you did you were very careful in not missing the opportunity (when it came) to gain custody of your daughter!  Also the laws were not the same as they are today.  Women got away with a lot of things because they were women!  And they almost ALWAYS got custody of the child whether they were fit or not!    

After hearing your story?  I really respect you and feel I misjudged you in earlier times when we clashed.  I apologise to you for that, BluePhantom.  You've really been through it and you're still standing!  I know God saw you through it because he knew your heart and your love for your child. I'm sure your daughter is very grateful to have you for her father.  She is blessed.


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

Care4all said:


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That is totally messed up stuff.


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> I would hope that I would have left a person long before it escalated into a situation like that.  Geesh!    Thankfully nobody has ever tried to kill me before is all I can say.



He had a child, Chris.  He was not going to leave his child!  Get it?


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## HereWeGoAgain (Sep 25, 2015)

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  Aaah..no shit,I forgot about the postpartum. It wasnt the deal in my case she was just angry as hell about her last husband and didnt know how to handle conflict.


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## Care4all (Sep 25, 2015)

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yep, it is....

and it's real....
(which is hard to believe)

but it is real, for some.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 25, 2015)

I did not know the woman at that time but I did meet her years later.  She was not the same person that she used to be (I assume).  She is a very tall stout woman who by stature could clobber another person with no sweat.  I do not doubt her viciousness, some people can just snap like that.  Even now, years later I can't touch Blue to wake him up or jumps and can come up swinging.  I think after one has a harrowing experience of that nature it changes who you are.  It is a trauma and those things are always with you


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

I'm lucky I


Jeremiah said:


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If I thought a person was going to kill me, I think I would take my kid and leave them immediately and worry about the consequences later, OR I would call the police and tell them that this person was threatening me.  I don't think I would have slept in the home with that person who wanted to kill me.


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 25, 2015)

Care4all said:


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You do not know what she was.  Some people can act perfectly normal and then at some point the demons in them manifest and they are anything but normal!    If she was a sociopath there would be no medication for her. The answer would be getting away from the person completely and he did - when he was able to take his daughter with him.  I think he handled himself very well considering what he was up against.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

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As I said, she only freaked out when we got to Pittsburgh.  She was a young girl who had never been out of Lewiston, Idaho where we grew up.  That's a town of maybe 24,000 back then.  She was from a poor family.  The furthest she had ever gone was Spokane, Washington about two hours away.  Spokane was her idea of a big city.  Now take that girl who had just given birth at 19 years old and drag her 2,000 miles across the country and put her in fucking Pittsburgh and make her a mother and a wife.  You want to talk about culture shock?  No wonder she flipped out.


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 25, 2015)

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21 years ago if you were the man you'd be charged with kidnapping and they would put you in prison and hand the child over to the mentally unfit mother.  Then where would you be?  You're not as wise as you think you are, Chris.  

He did the right thing - he bided his time - he knew what he was up against - he waited until he could get a witness and was able to get custody of his child.  21 yrs ago it was not easy for a man to get custody of the child.


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

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Hey, I'm entitled to my own opinions on subjects!!  If it was me, I would have done things differently, I'm sure!  K?


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

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What?  I was a 16-year-old mother.  Give me a fucking break.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

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That is a luxury women had in 1993 that men didn't have Chris.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 25, 2015)

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Everyone else is always wrong aren't they?


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

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Especially you.


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 25, 2015)

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And you most likely wouldn't have your child either.  He gained custody of his child.  He won.  He went through hell so to speak - but he saved his child and he was able to raise her.   To God be the glory. 

To be willing to admit when you are wrong?  Is not a sign of weakness, Chris. 

Goodnight.


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

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What are you going on about?  He says that she had beaten him black and blue before this particular incident.  He was one of those people hoping he could change crazy.  I know better.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

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And when you were a 16 year old mother did you get taken from your home and put from one culture tootally different culture?  There's a bit of a difference in culture between west-coast, small town Lewiston, Idaho and east-coast big city Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.  Were you taken from all your friends and family?  Were you dragged from a town of 24,000 into a city of 2 million with a totally different attitude and no one to help you manage the transition?  

I don't blame her for freaking out.  I don't blame her at all.  I completely understand.  But my understanding didn't solve the problem or eliminate the threat.


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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I can say for sure that I wouldn't want to KILL anyone.  Good grief!


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

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You always seem to think so


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

You should have left as soon as she started to become violent.  Hired yourself a lawyer or something.


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## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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Do I believe men are abused by women?  Absolutely.  In fact, my post makes that clear.

Your story still stinks of bullshit.


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

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Hey, I've never been with anyone who abused me and I wouldn't put up with such treatment.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

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Oh rubbish.  If you have never wanted to kill someone you have never been in love.    How can you possibly say what you would have done under those circumstances never having lived it?  As I raised my daughter I never made any secret about her natural mother, but I was selective in what I told her.  I told my daughter that her mother was in an impossible situation and I had sent her away because although she loved our daughter with all her heart she just wasn't ready to deal with the circumstances she was put into. 

I believe that was the truth


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

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That's easy to say when you have never walked the path.


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## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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If you were beaten daily leaving black and blue marks, you had plenty of evidence that you were being assaulted.  Had you taken that evidence to the authorities, there is no way in hell that your child would have been left in your ex's custody.

You had every opportunity to leave before shit escalated.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 25, 2015)

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I have never had postpartum depression and apparently you didn't either but some people do and it was not as well researched back then as it is now.  It would be an interesting study as to how many women have gone into rages of abuse.  There have been many headline cases of women killing their children because of it


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## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> That's easy to say when you have never walked the path.



My ex-husband beat me up.  Once.

That's why he's my ex.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

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Don't really give a damn if you believe it or not.  Trinity confirmed it and she is my wife.  She should know.  Like I said...you are part of the problem.  That's fine.  At least we know where we both stand


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## G.T. (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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Man, i am sorry if you think im on the side of the woman is right no matter what....

i mean, i apologize it was just hard to believe you couldnt have fought it better legally but - - - - - i cant say from experience so. sorry


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

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Your situation and mine are probably totally different.  It's was easier for a woman to leave in 1993 citing domestic abuse and keep their child than it it today Catz.  You can't compare your experience as a woman to my experience as a man 20 years ago and assume you understand the situation


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## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> Don't really give a damn if you believe it or not.  Trinity confirmed it and she is my wife.  She should know.  Like I said...you are part of the problem.  That's fine.  At least we know where we both stand



you are two people on the internet.  what in the fuck does that even mean to me? Anonymous person confirmed that you're not bullshitting? bully for you.

This is not the first time that you have rehashed this shit.  Why do you have this obsessive need to bring this shit up?

koshergrl Ravi


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

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Okay, but he isn't saying it was because of a postpartum depression.  He says it is because she was young and they moved away from her home.  Anyways, I'm just saying, the way to avoid coming to blows would be to leave before it escalates to that level.  I think I would rather take my chances with being arrested than being killed, or my child being killed.


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## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Your situation and mine are probably totally different.  It's was easier for a woman to leave in 1993 citing domestic abuse and keep their child than it it today Catz.  You can't compare your experience as a woman to my experience as a man 20 years ago and assume you understand the situation



Yes, you're a special snowflake.  No one else but you has ever been victimized, and your victimization was special and unlike any other victimization that has ever or will ever occur.

/sarcasm.


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## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Okay, but he isn't saying it was because of a postpartum depression.  He says it is because she was young and they moved away from her home.  Anyways, I'm just saying, the way to avoid coming to blows would be to leave before it escalates to that level.  I think I would rather take my chances with being arrested than being killed, or my child being killed.



We're hearing his side of the story only.  Why do these people need to find people who can reinforce their pathologies?


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

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I think that you had hoped you could change her or something and so you chose to stick around.  Not that you were "wrong" or "bad" for that, but you were mistaken for thinking that and for staying after the violence had begun.  

On the other hand, if you knew what the cause of her "freaking out" was, why not just move back home?  Did the cons of moving back at least closer to her family outweigh the pros?


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 25, 2015)

Point being made is that men are victims of domestic abuse as well but there is a stigma for men who come out and say so


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

G.T. said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > pillars said:
> ...




What was I supposed to do GT?  It was 1993.  Cops looked at who had bruises and arrested the other person whether it was self-defense or not.  How was I going to prove self-defense?  Back then it always went in the woman's favor.  I needed a witness who saw it and could testify.  What choice did I have?  I had two choices.  Abandon my child to an unstable woman and save myself or endure it until I had a witness who could testify and gain custody of my daughter. I chose the latter.  What else could I have really done?


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

pillars said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Okay, but he isn't saying it was because of a postpartum depression.  He says it is because she was young and they moved away from her home.  Anyways, I'm just saying, the way to avoid coming to blows would be to leave before it escalates to that level.  I think I would rather take my chances with being arrested than being killed, or my child being killed.
> ...



It's the dramatic internet world!!!


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> Point being made is that men are victims of domestic abuse as well but there is a stigma for men who come out and say so



I don't think anyone has stated otherwise.  Just wondering why he would stay with this person and let it escalate to such a level before making a move?


----------



## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



Small world, my husband is from Lewiston.


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...




Yes I was going to college.  I was trying to get an education to be able to support this new family and provide for them.  Going home wasn't an option if I was going to be a good father and husband who was able to provide for his family.  Good God Chris...how can you be so shallow in your vision?


----------



## koshergrl (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> pillars said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...


Omg now I remember you.

This thread is eerily reminiscent of the "when is it ok to beat your wife" thread from some years back that spawned all the kill and rape kgrill tags, and resulted in at least one "when is it ok to beat and rape kgrl". Filled with musings of diff posters of how fitting it would be if it were to happen, fueled by ravtard and the like doing their best to direct ppl to my doorstep.

Another example of stellar usmb nodding on this thread.


----------



## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

So, BP, you can't see anything that you could have done differently?  Your only choice was to let the situation devolve to the point where you had cold-cock your wife as she came at you with a knife?

I think on some level that you are still trying to process this because you feel like it still isn't resolved inside of you.  that's why you keep bringing it up.

what really freaks me out is that trinity power is affirming that you were right to get extremely violent with your ex-wife.

Other options you had besides cold-cocking her.

1. go next door and call the cops: "my wife is nuts and brandishing a knife in the house."
2.  Restrain her rather than punching her.
3.  Take your daughter and leave after one of the first few times you were assaulted.

You seem to see yourself as justified in using violence against women and portraying yourself as a helpless victim with zero options, but there were options.  You just chose not to exercise them.

in 1993, there were already DV units in most cities, certainly in Pittsburgh, and rather than calling them when you had marks on your body, which you said occurred daily, you waited until you had zero bruises to report.

Your story does not add up at all.  I don't know why you feel so compelled to keep telling it, and why TP keeps enabling you, but ew.


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

Another reason why it is very important to get to know a person very well before you marry and start a family.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 25, 2015)

pillars said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...


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## G.T. (Sep 25, 2015)

I mean.....if my wife had a half nude selfie as her avatar i could see puttin hands on the bitch

Joking joking. Stoppit.


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



Shallow?  I don't think I'm thinking shallow.  I understand what you are saying, but you did ask a question.  Yes, I think you could have avoided hitting her if you had left MUCH sooner than you did.  What if she hadn't tried to kill you in your sleep?  Maybe you would still be with her today!


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## BlackSand (Sep 25, 2015)

Dead people make terrible eye witnesses ... 

.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

pillars said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > Don't really give a damn if you believe it or not.  Trinity confirmed it and she is my wife.  She should know.  Like I said...you are part of the problem.  That's fine.  At least we know where we both stand
> ...




  no Trinity is my wife.  Like not long distance, fantasy stuff.  Trinity is my bride, whom I live with, and is my partner in everything


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...




That's ridiculous Chris.  The woman came at me with a knife.  She was trying to kill me, Chris and she wasn't screwing around.  Damn right I clocked her and I would do it again


----------



## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> pillars said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...



Anonymous internet guy makes lots of claims, all unverifiable.

thanks for sharing.


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## tyroneweaver (Sep 25, 2015)

Get the right lawyer, not just any lawyer
Make sure you protect yourself financially.


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> After a few months I realized I had to get rid of her . She had started threatening my life and the life of our daughter if I ever left her. I had not hit her because I refused to hit a woman but she beat me black and blue a few times a week. All I did was try to fend off her attacks. One week she kept saying that she was going to kill me. I tried my best to calm her down but the night came.



Here is part of your OP.    I am telling you that you should have made arrangements to leave this woman before the incident with the knife.  Apparently, you realized she was crazy and that you needed to get rid of her long before the actual incident in question.


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## G.T. (Sep 25, 2015)

What an inefficient killer she was, also. You were asleep and she failed? Man...you prolly coulda butt checked her dumb ass into the wall and then tied her to the handle on the refrigerator with some sausage links and let the proper authorities put restraints on her.

Maybe even hit her with a head fake on your way off the bed and break her ankles


----------



## HereWeGoAgain (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...



  Never say never.
I put up with my wife's BS for about two years because I loved her.
I thank God all it took was a call to the sherifs office to wake her up.


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

Anyway, you allegedly did it, and what's done is done.  You can't change the past.  You can only make sure to not make the same mistakes in the future.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

pillars said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > pillars said:
> ...



You mean like your husband is from Lewiston, too?

Thanks for sharing


----------



## pillars (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> pillars said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



Yeah, but my husband (from Lewiston) is not vouching for my story on the internet.  It's just a detail.  Whether you believe it or not is fine with me.


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > After a few months I realized I had to get rid of her . She had started threatening my life and the life of our daughter if I ever left her. I had not hit her because I refused to hit a woman but she beat me black and blue a few times a week. All I did was try to fend off her attacks. One week she kept saying that she was going to kill me. I tried my best to calm her down but the night came.
> ...




Knowing it and being able to do something about it in a court of law in 1993 are two different things Chris.  My God...Trinity is right.  You are about as obtuse as someone with tennis elbow.  What strikes me is your naivety.  You think it's so easy for a man to do this and keep his child.  It must be nice being a woman where you don't have to go to such measures to protect your children.


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

pillars said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > pillars said:
> ...



Yeah you backed off the idea of me talking to him pretty quick. I wonder why


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



If it was me, I would have taken my chances with being arrested.  Seriously.  I would be SO pissed off for one thing.  Lol.


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

I can be a real bitch too, let me tell you.


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Anyway, you allegedly did it, and what's done is done.  You can't change the past.  You can only make sure to not make the same mistakes in the future.




What mistake did I make Chris?


----------



## G.T. (Sep 25, 2015)

You shoulda pulled the bear mace outta the sock droor and the sprayed her and then ducked and then said "who0p, Iverson!"


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> I can be a real bitch too, let me tell you.



Oh I think that's already pretty well established.


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Anyway, you allegedly did it, and what's done is done.  You can't change the past.  You can only make sure to not make the same mistakes in the future.
> ...



Oh for God's sake.  Forget it.  You're perfect.  Never made a mistake.  K?  Happy pappy?


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > I can be a real bitch too, let me tell you.
> ...



That's right, so be smart and don't mess with me.


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...



So you get arrested and then you have a record against you as an abuser and then you have no standing in a custody hearing.  Jesus Chris!  THINK!  That's not good strategy.  That's asking to lose your kid.  What the hell are you thinking?


----------



## G.T. (Sep 25, 2015)

You should slipped the jab, smacked her with a hard pillow, wrapped your arms around and front wedgie

Atomic


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...



I can't find in the English language the words to express the degree to which I quiver.


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



Why not, after she beat you, take pictures of your bodily injuries (you did say you were black and blue), and call the police?  If you have bruises and she does not, then SHE would be the one arrested.  Just because it was 1993 doesn't mean everyone was retarded.


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## ChrisL (Sep 25, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



See?  You're learning.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 25, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...



It's a start


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## G.T. (Sep 26, 2015)

I think prolly the only reason i didnt see this on the news in 93 is cuz jordan was winning a ring and nintendo


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...



And how do I prove they came from her?  She would say I went to a bar and got drunk and got into a bar fight.  How old are you?  You do even know what 1993 was like?  I needed someone who saw her attack me and could stand as a witness.  Men needed a witness.  Women only need to make the claim.  I KNOW you are not this stupid Chris.  You have had good things to say on other threads.  I know you are not this obtuse on the way things worked back then


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## BlackSand (Sep 26, 2015)

No matter what happened in the longrun ... Doesn't look like she ever gave him his nuts back ... 

.


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## G.T. (Sep 26, 2015)

Good thing your morning wood wasnt sprouted yet cuz she mighta thought to lop that shit off wit the jackie chan quickness


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

G.T. said:


> I think prolly the only reason i didnt see this on the news in 93 is cuz jordan was winning a ring and nintendo



Uh huh. Only women can be victims.  That's a pretty misogynistic viewpoint


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



I know that 1993 was not the 1950s!


----------



## G.T. (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> G.T. said:
> 
> 
> > I think prolly the only reason i didnt see this on the news in 93 is cuz jordan was winning a ring and nintendo
> ...


No fool.

Its for exact situations like these that i keep an acme anvil over head in the bed and the drop lever right next to my nose in case my hands are restrained


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## G.T. (Sep 26, 2015)

Could women vote or work in 1993?


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

Okay, whatever.  Obviously you were looking for validation and justification and not the TRUTH.    Nightie night.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

BlackSand said:


> No matter what happened in the longrun ... Doesn't look like she ever gave him his nuts back ...
> 
> .



So you are suggesting that had I beat her senseless I would be more of a man.  By taking her abuse I "lost my nuts" and then you women attack men for defending ourselves.  So if we defend ourselves we are abusers and if we don't we have no nuts.  Fucking women


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

G.T. said:


> Could women vote or work in 1993?



Did you even have your first pubic hair in 1993?


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## BlackSand (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> So you are suggesting that had I beat her senseless I would be more of a man.  By taking her abuse I "lost my nuts" and then you women attack men for defending ourselves.  So if we defend ourselves we are abusers and if we don't we have no nuts.  Fucking women




Her fingerprints were on the knife ... There was a hole in the bed ... Four slugs in her chest, two in the head would have solved the problem.

.


----------



## G.T. (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> BlackSand said:
> 
> 
> > No matter what happened in the longrun ... Doesn't look like she ever gave him his nuts back ...
> ...


You had no nuts to leave with bruises on your arms and take your daughter out of a situation of living with a fucking psychopath cuz you were scared you might lose a court case

Yea......your balls were ->. <- yay big from the perspective of a fucking parent that woukd do anything to protect their child


Plus if shes literally murderous shed fail a psyche eval faster than the gator ate the black dudes arm in happy gilmore


Sometimes "use your fuckin head" is sage sage advice


----------



## G.T. (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> G.T. said:
> 
> 
> > Could women vote or work in 1993?
> ...


Im not sure. May jave been a sprig by then....who could know


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Okay, whatever.  Obviously you were looking for validation and justification and not the TRUTH.    Nightie night.



You always say that when someone has nailed you to the wall, Chris.  Once you get cornered it's "_oh you are just looking for blah, blah, blah...goodnight_".  and then you run and hide.  When the shit hit the fan with my child and I had to fight and take abuse to save my child, I took what I had to to get myself into a position to win to save my child.  But for you it's so easy...just take the kid and run.  You seem to run a LOT.  It must be so nice to be you and have all the laws work in your favor and never be at the disadvantaged side of anything.


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

G.T. said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > BlackSand said:
> ...



Well I think that's all I need to hear.  Welcome to being a part of the problem instead of the solution


----------



## BlackSand (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Well I think that's all I need to hear.  Welcome to being a part of the problem instead of the solution



How is that not a solution ...  ... Unless you don't have the stones to do it?
It's what I would do to you if you came at me with a knife.

.


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

G.T. said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > G.T. said:
> ...



As long as you had a thumb and a forefinger who cares.  You weren't up to full palm yet


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...


She was 15 in 1993.  She told me so on a Patriots thread to prove she has watched them since they changed their logo


----------



## Billo_Really (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> 
> In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.
> 
> ...


I only hit a girl once and this is how it went down...

We were partying one night at my apartment doing lots of dope and alcohol.  When it got to the part of the night where I thought we were going to fuck, she started fucking with me!  Acting like she wanted it (on the one hand) and slapping my hand away (with the other).  This went on for almost an hour.

Finally, as we were sitting on the floor next to my water bed, I got up, rolled over on the bed and said, _"When you think it's time to fuck, let me know!"
_
Now, I had a pretty big water bed and she flew from a lotus position, up over the side rail, clear across the bed to the far side (where I was laying on my back) and lands with her knees on my shoulders.  Then she starts slapping down the clock radio I had on the headboard, until she could grab it with her hand,  then grabs the back of it, turns it around, jambs it in my face while saying, _"Oh yeah, what time is it now?"
_
I roll her off me, got up and for the next 10 minutes, she's like Joe Frazier in my face.  She's rolling her shoulders into her punches, knocking me around the room and just tee-ing off on me!  After about 10 minutes of this, I told myself, _"Wait a second, I don't take this kind of shit from anyone!" _So I clocked her.

She dropped like a sack of potatoes.  Grabbed her jaw and started whimpering.  Then that whimper started turning into the sound that the Tasmanian Devil makes when doing that angry spin of his, then she flies up and knocks me right threw an accordion door I had to my bedroom.  I come flying out of my bedroom stark naked and right into my roommates girlfriend. She goes, _"WTF is going on?" _

By that time, I had had enough.  I thought if she wanted to act like a guy, then I'll treat her like one.  So I told my roommate,_ "Get her the fuck out of here, or I'm going to do her some real harm!"
_
He drove her home and that was the end of that.


----------



## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

Billo_Really said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> ...




As I said in my OP my experience is quite different.  If someone hits me, I really don't care of they are a man or a woman.  I will hit a man first but I won't hit a woman first.  There's strategy to that.  Man to man the first landed punch will usually win so I will hit a man first.  I won't hit a woman first...but you know...sorry...I have been through getting my ass kicked and taking it for my honor of not hitting a woman and know what it got me?  It got the shit kicked out of me.  I could have done a lot to defend myself but I had this ideal of "_NEVER hit a woman_".

Well you know what..that ideal stopped when I realized I was a punching bag for her insecurities and it almost cost me my life.  I don't know id my feelings are right or wrong but because of what I went through if I am attacked  I am going to defend myself with all the power I have in me and I really dont care if it is a man or a woman.  If I am attacked I will do everything in my power to take my attacker out.  I will never go through that again


----------



## Billo_Really (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> As I said in my OP my experience is quite different.  If someone hits me, I really don't care of they are a man or a woman.  I will hit a man first but I won't hit a woman first.  There's strategy to that.  Man to man the first landed punch will usually win so I will hit a man first.  I won't hit a woman first...but you know...sorry...I have been through getting my ass kicked and taking it for my honor of not hitting a woman and know what it got me?  It got the shit kicked out of me.  I could have done a lot to defend myself but I had this ideal of "_NEVER hit a woman_".
> 
> Well you know what..that ideal stopped when I realized I was a punching bag for her insecurities and it almost cost me my life.  I don't know id my feelings are right or wrong but because of what I went through if I am attacked  I am going to defend myself with all the power I have in me and I really dont care if it is a man or a woman.  If I am attacked I will do everything in my power to take my attacker out.  I will never go through that again


Have you ever dealt with a woman, who fights like a guy?


----------



## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

I believe you. Anyone ever watch the tv show SNAPPED? Maybe they should.

Short story about me:
I was abused myself. And I never cowered either. I hit back. He usually won the fight because he was bigger and stronger but when he smacked me, I smacked back. I was so used to that, I carried it over into my second marriage...but I was hitting first this time with Mr Gracie. He took it twice. Then he grabbed me by the throat and shoved me against the wall and said "you don't hurt the people you love. No more". It was like cold water in my face. He didn't hurt me. He just held me there against the wall staring at me with love. 
I never hit him again. That was..oh...30 years ago?

So yeah. I believe you BP. And your Trinity is one amazing woman. Amazing. I adore her.


----------



## Syriusly (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> 
> In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.
> 
> ...



Domestic abuse is never excusable- regardless of the gender which is being physically abusive. There is nothing wrong with defending oneself regardless of the gender of who is the gender. 

I will give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are telling the truth. Your situation was not that different from women are who are abused- except that you are probably larger than your ex-partner, and probably stronger- which is not usually the case with abused women. You were being abused- and you should have probably reported it to the police earlier- but lots of women don't do that either- and also as a man, I would not be surprised if you had some problems with reporting getting beaten to the police.


I guess I wonder why you even feel like you have to explain or ask the question?

I think most people- myself included- would realize that there is nothing wrong with defending yourself.


----------



## Ravi (Sep 26, 2015)

If you are abused you have a right to defend yourself. Why the attempted gender war?


----------



## strollingbones (Sep 26, 2015)

i dont hit but be warned ....i throw things...esp if you try to shut me down and then turn and walk away....and i am a pretty good shot with a glass ashtray


----------



## Paulie (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> I would hope that I would have left a person long before it escalated into a situation like that.  Geesh!    Thankfully nobody has ever tried to kill me before is all I can say.


^ has probably already killed several men who tried to leave her.


----------



## pillars (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Yeah you backed off the idea of me talking to him pretty quick. I wonder why



Did you think my post was an offer of some kind of class reunion, nutty?

I think you have some issues.


----------



## pillars (Sep 26, 2015)

BlackSand said:


> Her fingerprints were on the knife ... There was a hole in the bed ... Four slugs in her chest, two in the head would have solved the problem.
> 
> .



And he was looking for a way to get rid of her...


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## Avatar4321 (Sep 26, 2015)

Self defense is always permissible.


----------



## Taz (Sep 26, 2015)

Avatar4321 said:


> Self defense is always permissible.


Is that your excuse?


----------



## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

pillars said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > Don't really give a damn if you believe it or not.  Trinity confirmed it and she is my wife.  She should know.  Like I said...you are part of the problem.  That's fine.  At least we know where we both stand
> ...


Because they're psychotic losers, mostly.


----------



## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

Taz said:


> Avatar4321 said:
> 
> 
> > Self defense is always permissible.
> ...


Here's what abusers do.....they ride, torment, tweak, threaten, intimidate and terrify their victims until they goad their victim into reacting defensively. When that happens, the abuser beats the shit out of his victim, calls the cops and says she assaulted him. It's common.


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## Coyote (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> 
> In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.
> 
> ...



Wow....is my first thought.

The main reason it's "not ok" to hit a woman is men are on average a lot stronger and capable of much more damage, and thus under a ethical mandate to restrain themselves.  On the other hand, that said, there are good and valid reasons to hit a woman, and you outlined some of them in your OP.  If someone is going at you - out of control - with a dangerous weapon - you need to be able to defend yourself first and formost.  Likewise, if she were going after your daughter.  You also open up a much larger discussion - men who are caught up in abusive relationships and, like women, in fear of losing their children if they walk out of the relationship.  Unfortunately, our culture and court system still tends to prefer to give the children to the mother, even if she unfit.


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## Moonglow (Sep 26, 2015)

My Grandma always said that if a woman was to stand up and fight a man like a man does deserves to be treated like a man...


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## pillars (Sep 26, 2015)

I actually do not think that people should hit each other.  Men should not hit men, women should not hit women, men and women should not hit each other.

I agree, a lot of domestic abuse involves women hitting men.  But, I think there is a lot of fishy stuff in this particular story.


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## Moonglow (Sep 26, 2015)

pillars said:


> I actually do not think that people should hit each other.  Men should not hit men, women should not hit women, men and women should not hit each other.
> 
> I agree, a lot of domestic abuse involves women hitting men.  But, I think there is a lot of fishy stuff in this particular story.


I agree also, violence solves nothing...Now pounding pussy is another story....


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## Coyote (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



There may have been more to it.  Certain mental illness' show up in early adulthood - typically the age when a kid goes to college.  That's usually a situation that is highly stressful and normal family/community supports are absent.  A change cross country, plus pregnancy and birth could have been the straw that broke the camels back.  Post partum depression is known to include pyschotic episodes which is what it sounds like she went through and she would have had few people to talk with or turn to.


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

Coyote said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> ...


That's because she's generally the primary care provider.

And seriously, abusers are fantastic at coming up with super plausible excuses for the reasons they have injured women. It's almost always lies.


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

pillars said:


> I actually do not think that people should hit each other.  Men should not hit men, women should not hit women, men and women should not hit each other.
> 
> I agree, a lot of domestic abuse involves women hitting men.  But, I think there is a lot of fishy stuff in this particular story.



There aren't statistically a lot of men being systematically abused by women. It happens, but primarily that's a myth generated to minimize the huge issue of the abuse of women. Not just by their significant others but by the abortion industry, the sex industry, and progressives in general...who see fertile women and their children as less important than fags, and a threat to humanity by way of their ability to reproduce.


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 26, 2015)

I feel great compassion for anyone who has gone through what Blue Phantom went through.  No one knows what another person has suffered until they have gone through it themselves.   He survived and was able to move on with his life.  I'm thanking God he is alive and can tell others that what God did for him He can do for them too.  It's a powerful testimony.  For those who cannot see it, perhaps you see what you want to see.


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## Coyote (Sep 26, 2015)

koshergrl said:


> Coyote said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



I tend to agree that most often abusers are men - and women are reluctant to flee for many reasons not the least of which is custody of children.  But the reverse does happen with men being the target of abuse because they have it drilled into them that they should never hit women.  It's a tough line to walk.


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## Coyote (Sep 26, 2015)

koshergrl said:


> pillars said:
> 
> 
> > I actually do not think that people should hit each other.  Men should not hit men, women should not hit women, men and women should not hit each other.
> ...



I'm sure the group is much smaller than women abused but I bet it is also underreported.


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 26, 2015)

Coyote said:


> koshergrl said:
> 
> 
> > pillars said:
> ...



I believe it is under reported. Which is another reason I admire Blue Phantom being willing to share his story here!  I doubt that was easy for him to do.  Yet he did it, for others here.  I greatly admire him for his willingness to tell people what happened to him.  I believe it is going to help someone who reads it and is going through the same thing.  Most likely more than one person, but if it helped just one?   It's changing someone's life.  That is powerful.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> 
> In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.
> 
> ...





Why didn't you call "fred" to protect you?


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## Book of Jeremiah (Sep 26, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> ...



I've often found that people who are mockers and are insensitive to the sufferings of others end up suffering worse.  Especially when they are mocking people who believe in God and trust in Him.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

Jeremiah said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...




I just don't buy his ridiculous stories.  Assuming the bizarre story is true, there's a simple way he could have avoided violence, and that's by leaving.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 26, 2015)

There was a mention of usually men are bigger and taller than the woman.  Not this case.  This woman is on the taller side and stout, much taller than Blue.  When I met her she wasn't obese but she isn't twiggy.  She is capable of damage.  The daughter doesn't look strong either but she is and she doesn't lift weights or anything she it is just in her DNA.  If the mom wanted to she could clock someone pretty handily


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

Coyote said:


> koshergrl said:
> 
> 
> > pillars said:
> ...


It's all underreported. And even when it's reported, ppl think up excuses for the abusers. The one thing everybody knows is that abortion fixes things right up!


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

Abortion makes rape go away. And general unhappiness. I think it's also a cure for obesity, blindness and diabetes....at least that's what the acolytes say.


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## Bonzi (Sep 26, 2015)

Some women need to be hit back. It's stupid to NOT ever hit any woman


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

pillars said:


> I actually do not think that people should hit each other.  Men should not hit men, women should not hit women, men and women should not hit each other.
> 
> I agree, a lot of domestic abuse involves women hitting men.  But, I think there is a lot of fishy stuff in this particular story.




It takes two to tango.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> pillars said:
> 
> 
> > I think that if women don't want to be punched, they shouldn't punch people.  I understand that men are stronger, in many cases a lot stronger, but I am familiar with many women who have been violent towards men or who initiate hitting or punching the guy while expecting him not to hit back.
> ...




Did you also seek help for your participation in this dysfunctional relationship?


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## bodecea (Sep 26, 2015)

G.T. said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > G.T. said:
> ...


Agreed...they would have seen the cut marks on the bed etc.  And he was black and blue as he claimed...surely some would have still been there.


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## Ravi (Sep 26, 2015)

bodecea said:


> G.T. said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...


And fingerprints on the weapon. BP has his good points but this isn't the first tall tale he's posted.


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## Taz (Sep 26, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> Some women need to be hit back. It's stupid to NOT ever hit any woman


You one of those broads that likes a good beating to get you to come?


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

Even if it were true, why would someone want to post something so personal on a message forum? Weird.


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## Bonzi (Sep 26, 2015)

Taz said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > Some women need to be hit back. It's stupid to NOT ever hit any woman
> ...


No, but you don't get to be a bitch just cause you're a woman


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## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> Even if it were true, why would someone want to post something so personal on a message forum? Weird.


Because its a message board full of anon people. And it might help someone else. And because it is a topic not discussed by most men because hitting a woman is taboo and makes the man "unmanly" which is why most ment don't report it and because sometimes things just need to be talked about. The FZ is for venting out rage. Other forums are for discussing things one has nobody to talk to about it and being anon is a great way to do that. Kinda like my health RA thread. Lots of info in there too, with some using it as some sort of weapon or a "need" to be "noticed" instead of what it truly is.....learning about the disease, sharing experiences with others, getting to know someones "other side" that isn't just chatting about grandkids or cookies or recipes.

He made the thread to express himself and discover who HE is. Maybe he is looking for empathy for what he went thru. I have no clue, nor care. I believe him. If he was this horrible lying abuser about what went down, then Trinity would have nothing to do with him because she has shared some gawdawful stories in the health thread and I think she is one tough cookie considering her circumstances. Sometimes...unpleasant things need to be discussed. Its as simple as that.


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## charwin95 (Sep 26, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> Even if it were true, why would someone want to post something so personal on a message forum? Weird.



A lot of times when a victim that goes through this kind of experience makes them feel better when sharing. There's also a discussion group where you can tell your story.


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## charwin95 (Sep 26, 2015)

I believe Blue Phantom story. How many times have you heard a wife or a girlfriend put up with physical and psychological abused for many years? And never reported to the authorities or left but stayed in the relationship until it's too late. That happened all the time. That goes the same with abused husband or a boyfriend.  It's easy to say.... Well why didn't you leave or call the cop? 
I watched the ID channel on cable TV regularly a station dedicated about real crime story here in U.S. They tell you the real name of the victims, relatives story, suspects name, city and date. Several times they show a story which the wife or the girlfriend is the abuser end up killing the husband or boyfriend. You may want to watch this station. 
Thank you for sharing Blue Phantom.


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## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

SNAPPED. Happens a lot. Try Jody Arias for example. And he had to make sure he got his daughter out of there too. Courts usually give custody to the mother. He took that shit for his kid until it came to where he had to defend himself. And now both are safe. And...so is Trinity because she finally got out too.


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## Toro (Sep 26, 2015)




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## Taz (Sep 26, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> Taz said:
> 
> 
> > Bonzi said:
> ...


Only cowards hit women. Don't stand for it.


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## Coyote (Sep 26, 2015)

koshergrl said:


> Abortion makes rape go away. And general unhappiness. I think it's also a cure for obesity, blindness and diabetes....at least that's what the acolytes say.



Never heard anyone claim that except lunatics like the anti-abortion nuts.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

Not commenting on whether or not the story is true or not.  I don't know enough about this person to say one way or another.  I did quote a section of his post where he says this woman was threatening his life and becoming violent for some time before the incident with the attempted murder.  He asked HOW he could avoided hitting the woman?  

Answer?  He could have left earlier instead of sticking around a person who hit and abused him and actually THREATENED his baby daughter's life.  

End thread.


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## Bonzi (Sep 26, 2015)

Taz said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > Taz said:
> ...



So if Serena Williams was beating you , you would just take it?


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## Taz (Sep 26, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> Taz said:
> 
> 
> > Bonzi said:
> ...


Ya, then I'd sue her ass off and make $10 mil or so. Minimum.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> G.T. said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



Well, it's kind of interesting that you say you were beaten by her with pots and pans and other objects until you were black and blue, and then you turn around and say she is the one who had marks on her body, but you did not?


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> Taz said:
> 
> 
> > Bonzi said:
> ...



Why wouldn't you just leave?  Do you think that getting into a fist fight is solving anything?


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## Taz (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > Taz said:
> ...


No woman beats a man who can make her come. Pretty simple really.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

Taz said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Bonzi said:
> ...



Well, there is "beating him off."    That count?


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## Taz (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Taz said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...


If she's good at it, no probs. 

But are you?


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

Taz said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Taz said:
> ...



A lady never tells!!


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## charwin95 (Sep 26, 2015)

Gracie said:


> SNAPPED. Happens a lot. Try Jody Arias for example. And he had to make sure he got his daughter out of there too. Courts usually give custody to the mother. He took that shit for his kid until it came to where he had to defend himself. And now both are safe. And...so is Trinity because she finally got out too.



Jody Arias killed her boyfriend? I think you were relating to another case.


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

Coyote said:


> koshergrl said:
> 
> 
> > Abortion makes rape go away. And general unhappiness. I think it's also a cure for obesity, blindness and diabetes....at least that's what the acolytes say.
> ...


Yes, well you're a liar who gets a commission for dead baby parts, so the only way we'll hear the truth out of you is to wheel and deal with you for carcasses.


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## charwin95 (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > Taz said:
> ...



In your case you would leave but others put up with it. People had different kind of endurance or tolerating pain. Why is that a surprise to you? 
Many Asians had a culture of being pussywhip husband. Hispanic or midlife eastern do not have this kind of problem. If you meet an asian men ask them about pussywhip how they were able to put up this suffering all their whole lives. Not sure of the percentage though and I do not have a link either but I heard this story several times.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

charwin95 said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Bonzi said:
> ...



He asked how he could have possibly avoided hitting this woman.  I gave him the answer.


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## Coyote (Sep 26, 2015)

koshergrl said:


> Coyote said:
> 
> 
> > koshergrl said:
> ...



Really now....you seem obsessed with baby bits...even in a thread that has nothing to do with it.  Makes me wonder what's in your freezer.


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

Coyote said:


> koshergrl said:
> 
> 
> > Coyote said:
> ...


No I'm not moving dead babies for you, I already made that clear. Nor am I recruiting abused girls into your clinic.


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

Coyote is okay with abuse, because it means more dead babies. And that means $$$$


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > G.T. said:
> ...


COMMON tactic.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> Even if it were true, why would someone want to post something so personal on a message forum? Weird.




Because I am sick of people thinking this only happens to women.  You know how people respond to the "_Black Lives Matter_" crowd by saying "_hey don't ALL lives matter_?"  It's similar.  Men can be abused just as easily.  Yes women are almost certainly more abused than men, but women can be every bit as violent and many of those who are know that usually the courts will side with them.  That gives them a degree of security to pound on their man and blame it on him later.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > Even if it were true, why would someone want to post something so personal on a message forum? Weird.
> ...



You make it sound as if it's common for women to beat up their men.    In most instances, the man can easily restrain the woman.  That is not the case when a man is beating on a woman.  You are talking about outliers and trying to make light of domestic violence against women?


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Not commenting on whether or not the story is true or not.  I don't know enough about this person to say one way or another.  I did quote a section of his post where he says this woman was threatening his life and becoming violent for some time before the incident with the attempted murder.  He asked HOW he could avoided hitting the woman?
> 
> Answer?  He could have left earlier instead of sticking around a person who hit and abused him and actually THREATENED his baby daughter's life.
> 
> End thread.




You guys don't get it do you?  I couldn't "just leave".  If I left alone then I was leaving my daughter with someone who was unstable.  If I took my daughter and vanished, that's called "_kidnapping_". Today cops are a lot more open to arresting the woman if they think she was the aggressor.  Back then, they simply assumed the man was in the wrong.  My uncle, who lives in Pittsburgh, is an attorney.  I consulted him on my options and he was very clear...unless I had a witness it would be blamed on me and I would lose my daughter.

"just leave".  It's easy to say when you are free to ignore the circumstances and consequences.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Not commenting on whether or not the story is true or not.  I don't know enough about this person to say one way or another.  I did quote a section of his post where he says this woman was threatening his life and becoming violent for some time before the incident with the attempted murder.  He asked HOW he could avoided hitting the woman?
> ...



I don't believe you that if someone is threatening your life and beating you up that the police would take that person's side, especially if you have marks and bruises.  You said she was a psycho.  Didn't you ever have to call the police on her before for getting out of control?


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Not commenting on whether or not the story is true or not.  I don't know enough about this person to say one way or another.  I did quote a section of his post where he says this woman was threatening his life and becoming violent for some time before the incident with the attempted murder.  He asked HOW he could avoided hitting the woman?
> ...



You act as if the police would not understand.  They have to deal with MANY more crazy ladies every day than you ever have in your entire life.  They KNOW.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > Carla_Danger said:
> ...




Sometimes the woman can be restrained yes.  If she can be, she should be.  When they are using weapons...sorry....that's a totally different matter.  You know what happens when you try to restrain someone swinging a knife at you?  You get stabbed.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...




Knowing is one thing.  Proving is something totally different, Chris.  Usually the cops just want to diffuse the situation so they take one of them away to spend the night in the tank.  Usually that's the guy.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > G.T. said:
> ...




Well she didn't do it every single day.  Bruises do heal you know.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



Not if you have bruises and she doesn't.  Not if she has a record of doing these things because you called the police on her for it in the past.  Usually if YOU call the police, you are the complainant unless she had marks and you did not.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



It seems like you don't want to take any responsibility for anything in this relationship.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...



You are REALLY missing the time frame and the location here aren't you?  Pittsburgh back then was a really blue collar, "man's man" city.  I haven't been back since so I don't know it's it's changed but that is not a champagne and caviar city.  It's beer and steak.  That was just the mentality back then. Open mindedness was in short supply.    

You are also overlooking the circumstances.  I wanted to do right by this girl.  I wanted to raise a family with her.  I hoped this was just a phase and she would adjust to her new surroundings and it would go back to normal as it was in Lewiston.  I don't give up on relationships easily and I stuck with it until I could not avoid what had to be done anymore.  I spoke with my uncle, the attorney, and he said I needed a witness of she would keep my daughter.  It was worth it to me to continue taking her abuse until I had a witness so I could protect my child and get her out of that situation.  Why is that so hard to understand?


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...




Didn't I say earlier that I got her pregnant and dragged her out of her comfortable life in Lewiston, Idaho and hauled her 2,000 miles across the country and put her in an impossible situation?


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

Gracie said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > Even if it were true, why would someone want to post something so personal on a message forum? Weird.
> ...




I agree with a lot of what you're saying, and I also agree that this is a real *thing*.  A long time ago, I knew of a couple where the woman was the abuser, and her husband couldn't speak a lick of English, except for "call 9-11."  That came out loud and clear.

I don't care what other posters know of other posters around here. I don't know any of them. I just know that this particular poster,* IMO*, is not truthful about his tall tales.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why anyone would want to air their dirty laundry on a message board, especially one as hateful as this particular forum.  Why not start a generic conversation about the subject? You can discuss the topic, and get everything you need without making it about you.

In fact, if BP needs to discuss such a personal issue on a forum, I would suggest seeking professional help instead.  I would suggest the same thing to any woman who has been the victim of abuse.


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

As a matter of fact, Bp is the one that started that awful thread..."when is it ok to hit koshergrl"....what a fucking abusive dick.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

charwin95 said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > Even if it were true, why would someone want to post something so personal on a message forum? Weird.
> ...




To each his own I guess.  I won't be airing my dirty laundry on this dysfunctional forum.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



What if she really had killed you?  Did you ever consider that possibility?  What if she had beaten your baby or hurt your baby?


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## Zoom-boing (Sep 26, 2015)

You were right to sock her.  Self-defense is exactly the time you want to sock whoever is coming at you.  Nothing wrong with what you did.


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## Coyote (Sep 26, 2015)

koshergrl said:


> Coyote said:
> 
> 
> > koshergrl said:
> ...



I don't have a clinic (apologies for destroying that delusion) and, frankly - don't want whatever is in your freezer.  Seek help.


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## Coyote (Sep 26, 2015)

koshergrl said:


> Coyote is okay with abuse, because it means more dead babies. And that means $$$$



You're kind of weird...just saying.


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## Coyote (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Not commenting on whether or not the story is true or not.  I don't know enough about this person to say one way or another.  I did quote a section of his post where he says this woman was threatening his life and becoming violent for some time before the incident with the attempted murder.  He asked HOW he could avoided hitting the woman?
> ...



I have to agree.  It was, and still is a lot tougher for a man to get custody of the kids.  It's not an uncommon tactic in particularly vitriolic divorces for the mother to accuse the father of sexual abuse too.


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

Coyote said:


> koshergrl said:
> 
> 
> > Coyote said:
> ...


Let's talk over salad. I'm sure you want a Lamborghini.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

Coyote said:


> BluePhantom said:
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> > ChrisL said:
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Not uncommon?  I think it is relatively uncommon tactic.


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## Coyote (Sep 26, 2015)

koshergrl said:


> Coyote said:
> 
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> > koshergrl said:
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I prefer perogies.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

Does this woman see the child?  Has she gotten any custody rights?


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

Coyote said:


> koshergrl said:
> 
> 
> > Coyote said:
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You must be from up North.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

I would also think that her threatening the life of the baby would be a reason to involve the police and a psychiatrist.  Did you take her to a psychiatrist?  If she is in the midst of a freak out and threatening lives, then she can be involuntarily held on a 51-50 hold for 24 hours.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
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> > ChrisL said:
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Yeah Chris, I did consider that possibility.  That's why she is gone.  And it's a father's job to protect his children, especially his little girls.  That's why I didn't just take off and abandon my baby and leave her at the mercy of an unstable woman


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## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> especially one as hateful as this particular forum.


Amen to that. This is NOT a very nice place to meet (said in my best Middle Earth Radagast wizard voice).

And yes...I tend to take what he says with a grain of salt now that I know he was lying about Bonzi being his real life sister and I should be nicer to her. She ain't, and I won't. So yeah...small grain of salt. But...this has some rings of truth to it and therefore he may just one of many men who were physically abused. It's a good topic. USMB is just not the place for it. Sad, that. It used to be different until the trolls took over.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Does this woman see the child?  Has she gotten any custody rights?



I was granted full custody and visitation was at my discretion.  I told her to go back to Idaho and get counselling.  When she could provide me with a therapist who could assure me that she was no longer a threat I would agree to visitation and I even left it open to trying again with our relationship once she had received treatment.  I didn't hear from her for about 15 years. When I did hear from her I still had that door open but she never took advantage of it.

During that time I made no secret of her existence to my daughter and what I told my daughter was that her natural mother loved her but she was too young and was not ready for the responsibilities involved in being a parent and a "wife" (we weren't married but that was her role).  I told my daughter that her mother really struggled to deal with all the changes in her life that happened so quickly and so she went back to Idaho.  

 When my daughter was 17 I contacted her mother and asked if she was ever going to make any effort.  She said she would like to so we opened up a dialogue that lasted for about 6 months.  She came to Oregon to meet her daughter and they spent a weekend together and Trinity and I welcomed her into our home.  She really tried to be my daughter's mother figure, but my daughter was raised by my ex-wife (Jennifer) and Trinity so my daughter just wanted to be friends with her.  She did not take kindly to that and insisted that my daughter think of her as "Mom".  My daughter refused and she went away again.  They text each other on holidays now and that's about it.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> I would also think that her threatening the life of the baby would be a reason to involve the police and a psychiatrist.  Did you take her to a psychiatrist?  If she is in the midst of a freak out and threatening lives, then she can be involuntarily held on a 51-50 hold for 24 hours.



Well eventually that's how I got rid of her.  Once I had a witness I started to move against her legally and she tried to kill herself by swallowing a ton of aspirin (she wasn't the brightest girl to ever walk the face of the earth).  I used that attempt to have her held and then filed charges against her and challenged her for custody based on abusiveness (since I suddenly had a witness) and mental instability (for her suicide attempt).  Once I had those in my corner it was pretty open and shut with the judge.  But without them she would have almost certainly won and my daughter would have been with her instead of me.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Does this woman see the child?  Has she gotten any custody rights?


The mother has seen her one time which is when I met her


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

Gracie said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > especially one as hateful as this particular forum.
> ...




I never said Bonzi was my real life sister.    I said she was my "sister" as in a "sister from another Mister"..."a sister in Christ". Christians tend to talk like that about other Christians and call them "brothers" and "sisters".  I wasn't lying, I simply wasn't clear what I meant and you took me literally.  It was a misunderstanding, not deception.


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## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

Wish we had a forum where we could talk about stuff without it eventually winding up in the FZ where someone makes fun of whatever is discussed.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Does this woman see the child?  Has she gotten any custody rights?
> ...



Oh, that's right.  Your daughter would be an adult by now.  I was thinking of her still being a child.


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## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I never said Bonzi was my real life sister.  I said she was my "sister" as in a "sister from another Mister"..."a sister in Christ". Christians tend to talk like that about other Christians and call them "brothers" and "sisters". I wasn't lying, I simply wasn't clear what I meant and you took me literally. It was a misunderstanding, not deception.


Of course I took it literally. You said "Go easy on Bonzi. She is my sister". You meant to be deceptive, dude. Otherwise you would have been more clear.
But that's neither here nor there. However, it does tend to make me wary on whatever you say.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

Gracie said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > I never said Bonzi was my real life sister.  I said she was my "sister" as in a "sister from another Mister"..."a sister in Christ". Christians tend to talk like that about other Christians and call them "brothers" and "sisters". I wasn't lying, I simply wasn't clear what I meant and you took me literally. It was a misunderstanding, not deception.
> ...




No actually I wasn't trying to be deceptive.    That's actually just the way I and a lot of people talk.  I call LOTS of people "brother" and "sister".  I refer to Derideo_Te  and sealybobo as "_brother_" all the time because I have respect for them. When I greet my staff every morning I shake their hand, give them a man-hug and say "_what's up my brother?_"  It just means "_someone whose corner I am in and if push comes to shove I am going to defend them_".  .One of the problems with the written word is that you can't hear a person's tone of voice which can change the entire meaning of a statement.  When I said "_Go easy on Bonzi, she's my sister_" my tone of voice was a playful alert that "_you are messing with someone I think of as a friend and I don't want to have to get into it with you_".   You follow?


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Gracie said:
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How can you consider people that you barely know "friends?"  And especially a "sister" or a "brother?"  How many times have you even spoken to Bonzi?  Why do you feel a need to "defend" Bonzi against Gracie?  Is this high school or something?  I don't get this mindset that I see around here?  Are people really this lonely?


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## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Gracie said:
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Yeah, I follow, and I don't give a rats ass if you don't like what I have to say to Bonzi or she to me. What is she? Your lemming? Or are you white knighting for her? Good for you, but it means squat to me.
You said "She is my sister". I like you...so I backed off. Until I found out you lied. And it was a lie. Period. Wash it any way you want but it was still a lie. And furthermore, if you want to bag on me in her behalf, knock yourself out. You notice Pillars does not believe you but you don't see me ragging on her abot it even though she is my friend. 
Now if you are going to pull the "I like this person so I will battle you if you don't kiss their ass", then I don't need someone like you to chitchat with and I will avoid you in future. Ball is in your court "brother".


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## TrinityPower (Sep 26, 2015)

Gracie said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > Even if it were true, why would someone want to post something so personal on a message forum? Weird.
> ...


Thank you for your nice comments.  My reason for sharing was to help other people like yourself in any way I can and to share my own knowledge gained over the years.  This thread is meant for the same purpose...to bring awareness through a personal story to an issue that for years has stayed hidden for fear of ridicule which is pretty much what I have been seeing from some people.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
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> > Gracie said:
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Speak for yourself, you seem to be here an AWFUL lot


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
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> > BluePhantom said:
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Again, is this high school or something?  How old are you again?


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## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> Gracie said:
> 
> 
> > Carla_Danger said:
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Exactly. But it's the wrong board. Not much empathy here. But a damn good subject.
BP's kid is lucky to have you as a role model. Damn lucky.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
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Why can't Bonzi fight her own battles?  Why does Blue Phantom call a woman he hardly knows his "sister?"  That's weird.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 26, 2015)




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## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

Speaking of help.....Bone Broth. I am cooking some right now.

But I don't want to derail the thread. So...just wanted you to know Trinity, that after talking about that other topic, I did more research.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 26, 2015)

Gracie said:


> Speaking of help.....Bone Broth. I am cooking some right now.
> 
> But I don't want to derail the thread. So...just wanted you to know Trinity, that after talking about that other topic, I did more research.


My honest guess is that the root of it is centered in constant anxiety (stress) and mercury build up which causes the gut inflammation.  I like to find root causes.  MD's often want to treat the symptoms which are just a bandaid or bridge to the real root issue

Sorry to other people please disregard this post


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## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

I think the same thing. But lets not derail BPs thread and take it to the other thread.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

Sorry, I just find some of these "internet relationships" to be quite strange.     While I've met plenty of people that I like online, there have been very FEW that I would call "friends," and those are people who I've known for several years from other forums and have talked to regularly.  Sister or brother would be reserved for a VERY special relationship IMO, like a person you have known and been friends with for years and a person who has done a lot for you in the past, etc., etc.  I also observe people a lot and took psychology classes in college, so I am naturally curious about relationships between people and things.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > Gracie said:
> ...




Bonzi, please do not take offense to what I am about to say.  I mean no offense nor insult.

Bonzi and I have had many conversations on these boards.  Enough for me to know that she is trying her best to find the way to God.  But she is young in her development.  She is a "stage three Christian" (look up James Fowler's stages of faith) but she is trying to advance and she wants to advance.  This is very different from...say koshergrl who is in stage two and has no desire to progress beyond that and frankly I am not sure she could if she wanted to (again no offense KG-just my observation).

My observation is that Bonzi wants to advance but she doesn't know how and as she explores ways to do that she occasionally gets herself into trouble by taking positions that are not entirely accurate.  I try to correct her on those things so she can find her path but when others start to hammer her with things she is not ready to combat it does her development no good.  But it's also good for her to be challenged because that makes you think and leads you toward development.  This is one reason (there are others) why I try not to intervene when she and DT get into it.  DT can do a great deal for a person of faith because he challenges you to think about your faith and forces you to to re-evaluate your faith.  Re-evaluation leads to development.  But I am never going to let her get crushed because I know she is just searching for the path.

Are you familiar with alcoholics anonymous?  It is the experienced recovering alcoholics who guide the new ones.  I am a stage five Christian.  I have a responsibility to guide and defend those at a lower stage who are trying in earnest to advance. 

I am aware this is REALLY condescending toward Bonzi and I ask her forgiveness for that attitude, but that's why I defend her and that's why I consider her a friend and that's why I call her "sister"


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## Gracie (Sep 26, 2015)

Sorry...but you just lost me completely now. You seem very controlling.

Bonzi knows she has a prob. Bonzi can also take care of herself. Unless she asks for your help, you are butting in and being a shrink on a message board with a complete stranger, manipulating her to follow your path. She has her own.

I'm done in here.

/unsub


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Sorry, I just find some of these "internet relationships" to be quite strange.     While I've met plenty of people that I like online, there have been very FEW that I would call "friends," and those are people who I've known for several years from other forums and have talked to regularly.  Sister or brother would be reserved for a VERY special relationship IMO, like a person you have known and been friends with for years and a person who has done a lot for you in the past, etc., etc.  I also observe people a lot and took psychology classes in college, so I am naturally curious about relationships between people and things.


Christians are brothers and sisters in Christ.


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## koshergrl (Sep 26, 2015)

And beyond that, I wouldn't listen to much that Bp says.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
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She joined a political message board.  Not alcoholics anonymous.  She has a husband too.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

Gracie said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
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> > Gracie said:
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And I like you too.  Hence the reason why I asked you to back off instead of simply ripping into you.  I don't WANT to get into it with you on her behalf because I like you both.  Therefore, I asked you to take a step back so I didn't have to get involved.  

As far as Pillars...er...Catzmeow...I called her bluff last night and she blinked.  I really don't care what she has to say.  She tried to catch me lying and I said "_oh ok I am willing to prove it"_ and she backed off faster than someone running from a Dalek. 

I don't ask that anyone kisses Bonzi's ass.  It's good for her to be challenged.  She will learn a lot that way, but at some point I am going to be the Senpai


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> Gracie said:
> 
> 
> > Carla_Danger said:
> ...



The negative reaction has been pretty much what I experienced 20 years ago.  People like Chris, Koshergrl, Carla etc insisting that women couldn't possibly abuse men and if the man was truly abused there must be something wrong with him to allow himself to be abused.  We have a VERY long way to go in regard to understanding domestic violence with such attitudes.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
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For an atheist it would be very strange.  For a Christian not so much.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > Gracie said:
> ...




Obviously, you were looking for a negative reaction or you wouldn't have posted something so personal on an anonymous forum.

I never said that a woman couldn't possibly abuse a man. You are a dishonest person. I'm betting your ex has a completely different version to this story...a version we'll never hear.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

Gracie said:


> Sorry...but you just lost me completely now. You seem very controlling.
> 
> Bonzi knows she has a prob. Bonzi can also take care of herself. Unless she asks for your help, you are butting in and being a shrink on a message board with a complete stranger, manipulating her to follow your path. She has her own.
> 
> ...



I don;'t want Bonzi to walk my path. My path s for me alone. I want her to find her own path.  Glad you are done...see ya.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...



Yes . . . it is strange to pretend you have a "close" relationship with a person that you really don't know anything about.  

Also, I know all kinds of people.  Christians, atheists, etc.  Duh.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...



Yup, it is important that there are two sides to every story and one is not here to defend herself or tell her side.  

I never insisted that women couldn't abuse men either.  I have no clue what he is going on about.  To start a thread such as this and ask a QUESTION and then to be so defensive and insist that he did everything "right."  Annoying to say the least.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

As if ALL Christians and ALL atheists, etc., are the same in their dealings with people?  Please.  Where do some of you people live, under a rock or something?  Get out there into the world!  

It reminds me of another thread where a poster (or several) are claiming that democrats or those on the "left" cannot be religious???  Ridiculous!  I know plenty of religious democrats.  They are a dime a dozen here in Massachusetts.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...




Carla...I hate to say this, but you are a total idiot.  What danger is there in posting personal information on a website where you are anonymous?  No one knows who I am and no one will find out unless I let them.  It's the perfect venue for posting personal information that you might not reveal to anyone else.  of course you have already established yourself as a racist, mysandrist time and time again so I really am not surprised by your point of view.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...




How do you know what I know and what I don't?  I have personal contact (i.e. telephone) with several posters at USMB as does Trinity.  How do you know Bonzi isn't one of them?  You assume a lot.  I gotta tell you, Chris....you are a good looking woman, but I wouldn't waste my time filling out a Mensa application if I were you.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
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That's funny...you calling me a racist because I called you out on your pretend black friend who could not protect you at an Earth, Wind, and Fire concert.  LOL!!!

Go ahead and air your dirty laundry.  We can hear your version and guess the rest.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
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Oh, so now you are insinuating that you have a relationship with Bonzi outside of this forum?  Stop lying.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

People are fucked up, man.  Really fucked up, that's all I can say.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...



That's not what i said.  Stop putting words into my mouth and twisting what I said.  I said I DO have relationships with posters outside these boards and you don't know if Bonzi is one of them or not. You are assuming I don't.  You may be right.  You may also be wrong.  I am not going to say who I chat with on the phone from USMB...but I chat with several.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> People are fucked up, man.  Really fucked up, that's all I can say.


Good of you to admit such things now go tell it to your reflection while you pose for another picture of yourself to post up for hopeful admiration.  Psst...a message board doesn't have windows where someone can see you bat your eyes and flip your hair like a singles bar has so you have to use WORDS and intellect to attract men here.  Just sayin'  Oh and please choose a different angle to come back at me this time the one about being in underwear you have worn out


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > Carla_Danger said:
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Yeah...you called me out and you were totally wrong.  You are making assumptions just like Chris is but you really don't know and frankly you don't care.  In your mind a white man and a black man can't have that kind of a relationship.  If that is not racist I don't know what is.  Just because you scream I am a liar doesn't mean you are right.  It only means you are screaming I am a liar


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## BluePhantom (Sep 26, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> People are fucked up, man.  Really fucked up, that's all I can say.




You are absolutely right, Peter.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > People are fucked up, man.  Really fucked up, that's all I can say.
> ...



I'm sorry, but all I can do is laugh whenever you post this kind of nonsense.    It's hilarious!


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > People are fucked up, man.  Really fucked up, that's all I can say.
> ...



You ARE in your underwear.  Lol.  You are running around on an internet forum in front of a bunch of strangers in your underwear.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Carla_Danger said:
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> 
> > BluePhantom said:
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That's very far from the truth. I just don't believe *your* ridiculous story. Let's recap your story of Fred, the friend who could not protect you from scary racist black people at an Earth, Wind, and Fire concert.



BluePhantom said:


> but racism is not a white institution.  Sorry...these guys were assholes and fuck them.  But it goes both ways.  My best man at my wedding was a black man named Fred (I am white).  Fred and I are still close.  He always said when it came to music I had far too much soul for a white boy.  LOL.  We both love Earth, Wind and Fire.  We would drive to school and sing.  We had worked out the harmonies and sang together incredibly.  I saw that EWF was playing in our city and I went to Fred all excited and said "we have to go".  Fred looked at the venue and said "you can't go".
> 
> I was confused and didn't understand. * I said "this is our band.  We have to go" and he said.  "I am sorry you can't go.  I can't protect you if you go" Racism goes both ways*




Now lets look at the scary people who attend Earth, Wind, and Fire concerts.


You're full of shit.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



Nobody is making ANY assumptions.  I have asked why you didn't leave sooner.  All of the things that I've asked you were based on your OP.  If you didn't want any negative feedback, then you probably should not have started the thread.


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## ChrisL (Sep 26, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > People are fucked up, man.  Really fucked up, that's all I can say.
> ...



Very "Christian" of you.  Lol.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 26, 2015)

And you do not know the reasons why I have the picture and that's fine.  Other people do know and what I say is respected and considered because they listen to my words and ideas.  You bring a countenance and a head full of air.  That works for bars to get your drinks paid for (so I have heard, I can count on one hand how many times I have set foot in a bar) but it doesn't work in a discussion board forum.  If all you can bring to the party is that my avatar is in underwear then congratulations!  Everyone else has figured that out too.


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## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

It's just kind of strange that a person would start a thread about something so personal to share with not so very kind strangers on the internet, as we are only getting a one-sided story, and it seems ALL the blame lies on this woman while you accept absolutely NO responsibility at all for this relationship.  We don't even get to hear the woman's side of this story.  

Oh, I think I get it.  It's a "pity party" that you wanted.  I see.


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## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> And you do not know the reasons why I have the picture and that's fine.  Other people do know and what I say is respected and considered because they listen to my words and ideas.  You bring a countenance and a head full of air.  That works for bars to get your drinks paid for (so I have heard, I can count on one hand how many times I have set foot in a bar) but it doesn't work in a discussion board forum.  If all you can bring to the party is that my avatar is in underwear then congratulations!  Everyone else has figured that out too.



I don't really care, TBH.  However, if you are going to talk about my pictures, then expect for it to be pointed out that YOU are running around in your underwear.  That is a fact, regardless of your justification.


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## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> And you do not know the reasons why I have the picture and that's fine.  Other people do know and what I say is respected and considered because they listen to my words and ideas.  You bring a countenance and a head full of air.  That works for bars to get your drinks paid for (so I have heard, I can count on one hand how many times I have set foot in a bar) but it doesn't work in a discussion board forum.  If all you can bring to the party is that my avatar is in underwear then congratulations!  Everyone else has figured that out too.



Good God, you're an idiot.  After re-reading this post, that much is clear.  Poor thing.  No wonder you run around in your bra and panties, not showing your face.  Lol.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...


Wow...next you will say I know you are but what am I?  How is it that atheist or agnostic or whatever you have admitted you know you do not know what you are...the last one is Buddhist...believe themselves to exempt of being judgemental? You didn't like Peter so is James, Phillip or Andrew more appealing?  Oh how about Thomas?  Yeah I like Thomas.  Know why?  Oh never mind you only believe or do not believe things you hear so reading about it is beyond you.  Go ask someone else who Thomas is and his story.  Lord...oops Buddha knows you won't believe me


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## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
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I have no idea what you are babbling on about.


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## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

One thing you should understand, to me you are nothing more than some crazy religious fanatic internet weirdos.


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## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > And you do not know the reasons why I have the picture and that's fine.  Other people do know and what I say is respected and considered because they listen to my words and ideas.  You bring a countenance and a head full of air.  That works for bars to get your drinks paid for (so I have heard, I can count on one hand how many times I have set foot in a bar) but it doesn't work in a discussion board forum.  If all you can bring to the party is that my avatar is in underwear then congratulations!  Everyone else has figured that out too.
> ...


It is a picture, I see no one moving but hey if you do then great let your imagination go because truth is...I can't physically run anywhere.  Haven't been afforded that luxury for some years now.  I can't crawl, run, or even walk fast and if I fall down I litterally can't get up but thanks so much for the vote of confidence


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...



Whatever.  How about you stop babbling about things that I know nothing about.  I don't know anything about you.  I don't really WANT to know anything about you.  I am perfectly content to know nothing more about you.


----------



## Carla_Danger (Sep 27, 2015)

pillars said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Okay, but he isn't saying it was because of a postpartum depression.  He says it is because she was young and they moved away from her home.  Anyways, I'm just saying, the way to avoid coming to blows would be to leave before it escalates to that level.  I think I would rather take my chances with being arrested than being killed, or my child being killed.
> ...





Bingo!


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > And you do not know the reasons why I have the picture and that's fine.  Other people do know and what I say is respected and considered because they listen to my words and ideas.  You bring a countenance and a head full of air.  That works for bars to get your drinks paid for (so I have heard, I can count on one hand how many times I have set foot in a bar) but it doesn't work in a discussion board forum.  If all you can bring to the party is that my avatar is in underwear then congratulations!  Everyone else has figured that out too.
> ...


Unlike you I am not baited to show my pictures to strangers.  Everyone seems to be crazy and babbling according to you when you are cornered and have no come back.  You are very simple to predict


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...



Hmm.  What would geebus do?


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> pillars said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...


Everyone brings their own side to everything on any given forum.  You are bringing your own side to this by disputing the validity of this.  Last I looked this board isn't a courtroom and you are by no means a jury


----------



## koshergrl (Sep 27, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Gracie said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...


You're like the internet mutant love child of stabjob, dainty and statist.


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...


Did you mean to be funny and say Jeebus?  because you even got the spelling wrong on that.  Good Grief Charlie Brown!  When you try to make a slam on someone at least spell it correctly.


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...



That's a term I made up with a friend of mine, and I liked it.  It's the GEE bus.  Gee, that's interesting.


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

Imagine, being so desperate to get attention that you have to run around in front of a bunch of strangers in your bra and panties?  Wow!  I showed some of my friends.


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...


Well you are not very original given the saying Jeebus crust has already been coined.  Good luck next time


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...



Oh well, can't please all the people all the time.


----------



## koshergrl (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...


B..b..but they say it to look smort! How embarrassing it must be to get it wrong


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Imagine, being so desperate to get attention that you have to run around in front of a bunch of strangers in your bra and panties?  Wow!  I showed some of my friends.


Well Thank Ya!  Much obliged...but I do not need anymore advertisement.  Again....how many times must I insist that I can't run but again thanks for the confidence.  If you did see me running that would be something to record and show MY friends they would be praising God for it


----------



## Carla_Danger (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...





Wait, so you're saying that BP was getting beat up by a 15 year old girl?


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Imagine, being so desperate to get attention that you have to run around in front of a bunch of strangers in your bra and panties?  Wow!  I showed some of my friends.
> ...



What in the hell?  "Run around" is a figure of speech.  Lol.


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



No, she means that I was 15 in 1993.  Why she is so interested in my pictures and my life, I have no clue.  I think she's a stalker or something.


----------



## Carla_Danger (Sep 27, 2015)

pillars said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > Yeah you backed off the idea of me talking to him pretty quick. I wonder why
> ...




LOL!


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Imagine, being so desperate to get attention that you have to run around in front of a bunch of strangers in your bra and panties?  Wow!  I showed some of my friends.
> ...



Why do you have an avatar of yourself in your bra and panties anyway?  A MARRIED and allegedly CHRISTIAN woman?  Advertising your body in such a manner to strange men on the internet?


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...


Not for me.  I pray for the day I can run again and bend my knees to the point of getting on the ground and back up, to get in and out of a bathtub and many other things. I pray for the day I can make a fist again, wear dress shoes, you name it.  Glad for the wishes that I can run around.  Going to go streaking lol


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...



Look, I'm sorry for your problems, but still, if you start dissing me, a SINGLE woman for having pictures of myself fully clothed, then you are going to get it right back, hon.


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

See, here's the thing I CAN advertise.  I am a single woman.


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...


Go to Health and Lifestyle.  The thread about RA.  In it I explain why and I even show a picture.  You can ridicule me all you wish but it is a compliment to me.  My husband has no problem with the avatar...he knows my reasons and supports my decision for the avatar.  it is a celebration


----------



## ChrisL (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > TrinityPower said:
> ...



No thank you and okaaaay.


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

I am  not trying to make you feel sorry or anything else for me but you make a judgement that married women are limited to what they can and can't do and judging me holding me on a pedestal for being Christian and display a picture as such I do.  People judged Jesus from what they could see and they should have been looking inward not only toward him but others as well.  You do not like spiritual things but isn't that just respect?  Did it occur to you or anyone else that one of the reasons for the avatar is to illustrate the idea not to judge a book by its cover?  That must be way too deep for you to comprehend.  People listen to me because I have something to say.  The picture is the invite to the party.  I do not show my face because this forum is anonymous and I would like it to stay that way


----------



## TrinityPower (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> TrinityPower said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...


Ok but quit bitching about the picture, you wanted to know so I told you


----------



## Esmeralda (Sep 27, 2015)

Care4all said:


> Hitting her would reduce you to her level, and escalate the violence or her trying to hurt you even more, imo leaving would be the right thing to do, which you eventually did.
> 
> Also, getting her help....she is obviously not stable, something is wrong upstairs and she needs or needed, professional help....


Agree. Leave her and take the child. Report the domestic abuse. Have pictures taken of your injuries to prove it.  Call the hotlines for women, if there aren't any for men in your area, that help deal with domestic abuse and getting out: they will help you.  Contact an attorney to get support for taking the child out of her custody. Etc.  Use your brain and look into all the possibilities instead of staying in that situation and being a victim of domestic abuse.

The fact is that nowadays everyone knows men are also victims of domestic abuse, so this subuject is not new or shocking: we know it happens and men as well as women need to get out of the situation, not put up with it. 

Don't fight back with your hands: fight back with your brain.


----------



## Esmeralda (Sep 27, 2015)

pillars said:


> I think that if women don't want to be punched, they shouldn't punch people.  I understand that men are stronger, in many cases a lot stronger, but I am familiar with many women who have been violent towards men or who initiate hitting or punching the guy while expecting him not to hit back.
> 
> I think that's bullshit.
> 
> But I have to agree with GT that something is off about BP's story.  I smell a strong smell of bullshit.


If anyone raised a hand to me, I would leave the relationship immediately. No question. It doesn't matter whether the agressor is male or female. Leave the relationship immediately; take the children and/or pet with you.  Period.


----------



## Esmeralda (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> I would hope that I would have left a person long before it escalated into a situation like that.  Geesh!    Thankfully nobody has ever tried to kill me before is all I can say.


I was in a domestic violence relationship in my very early 20s.  Over a 3 year period he hit me or tried to hit me 3 times.  I left the relationship. At only about 22 years old I knew enough to know I wasn't going to live like that.  How is it that much older adults can't figure it out? 


We lived together. I went and stayed with friends for a while. One day when he was at work, they went to my house and collected all my stuff.  I found another place to live and never had any further contact with him, though he tried to call me and wrote me  letters wanting me to come back.

Just leave the situation. Get legal help if necessary. My situation was nearly 40 years ago. Nowadays there are lots organizations that help victims of domestic abuse. At that time there was none, and, in fact, one time when I reported him to the police they told me he was a 'nice guy' and that I was over reacting, though I had a fat lip from being hit.  They discouraged me from making an issue of it and making a formal complaint.  It is very different nowadays.

But even back then I had the sense to walk away.


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > Gracie said:
> ...


I or we truly enjoy this site and after awhile we get to know each other and consider some friends. Not get together friends but I can tell who I like and don't like.

Does hulk Hogan really consider people he calls brother relatives? How many black guys has he called brother? Lol


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> 
> In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.
> 
> ...


I had a girlfriend drunk and insisting she should drive. We were arguing. She insisted! So I gave her a smack in the face. She didn't drive that night but the next week I had to hear about how I should never hit a woman.

Do fathers spank or smack their daughters? TThat's all I did. I wasn't abusive in fact never hit a woman before or after.


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> I would hope that I would have left a person long before it escalated into a situation like that.  Geesh!    Thankfully nobody has ever tried to kill me before is all I can say.


That surprises me. Lol


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

Gracie said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > I never said Bonzi was my real life sister.  I said she was my "sister" as in a "sister from another Mister"..."a sister in Christ". Christians tend to talk like that about other Christians and call them "brothers" and "sisters". I wasn't lying, I simply wasn't clear what I meant and you took me literally. It was a misunderstanding, not deception.
> ...


Shut up or I'll punch your face. Oops. Sorry baby. I love you it'll never happen again. And when I say never I mean not again this week.


----------



## Bonzi (Sep 27, 2015)

There are too many variables here. If you are a guy and you wife is beating you, you should leave or seek counseling. No one should be a punching bag in a relationship.


----------



## jon_berzerk (Sep 27, 2015)

if there ever comes a time 

when this* question is seriously raised* in a relationship 

it is time to* end the relationship *


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

TrinityPower said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > People are fucked up, man.  Really fucked up, that's all I can say.
> ...


Even though chrisl is pretty and a liberal I can tell she's probably a bitch. There's a big difference between wanting to screw someone and wanting to spend time with them.

On family guy after having sex the woman in quagmires bed asked him a question and he asked her what she was doing still there.

The problem with pretty women is guys put up with their bullshit so they think it's OK but then they wonder why they only date losers. And why do they even ultimately leave too. Show me a hot married girl I'll show you a guy sick of fucking her. Lol

Sh


----------



## Bonzi (Sep 27, 2015)

jon_berzerk said:


> if there ever comes a time
> 
> when this* question is seriously raised* in a relationship
> 
> it is time to* end the relationship *


There are cases you have to stay, because some people will NEVER let go


----------



## Bonzi (Sep 27, 2015)

You sound angry and bitter. Why?


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## jon_berzerk (Sep 27, 2015)

sealybobo said:


> Gracie said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...





Bonzi said:


> jon_berzerk said:
> 
> 
> > if there ever comes a time
> ...




that is all the more reason to end the relationship 

even if that means abruptly leaving the state 

those types of situations are very dangerous 

a powder keg waiting to be lit


----------



## Bonzi (Sep 27, 2015)

jon_berzerk said:


> sealybobo said:
> 
> 
> > Gracie said:
> ...


It's a scary thing either way and some people just don't have the courage, but, fortunately they are rare cases (I hope...)


----------



## jon_berzerk (Sep 27, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> jon_berzerk said:
> 
> 
> > sealybobo said:
> ...




hopefully they have a support network family and friends


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

jon_berzerk said:


> sealybobo said:
> 
> 
> > Gracie said:
> ...


I remember in highschool guys and gals would lose it if they were dumped or cheated on. Talk about killing themselves type crazy.

Most of us grew up. If we are or were in a bad relationship we left it.  Anyone in a dysfunctional relationship must be mentally immature. I know it can happen to anyone but to stay in it?


----------



## Bonzi (Sep 27, 2015)

jon_berzerk said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > jon_berzerk said:
> ...


I would never put my family or friends in the middle of that, sometimes the only answer is to disappear


----------



## jon_berzerk (Sep 27, 2015)

sealybobo said:


> jon_berzerk said:
> 
> 
> > sealybobo said:
> ...




oddly many do stay in  really dysfunctional relationships 

almost as if they feed on it


----------



## jon_berzerk (Sep 27, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> jon_berzerk said:
> 
> 
> > Bonzi said:
> ...




sometimes one has to reach out to a family member or a friend in order to disappear


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> jon_berzerk said:
> 
> 
> > if there ever comes a time
> ...


Get a gun then file a restraining order and just wait for them to break the order.

If someone is that way they need to die. "Will never let go?" Put them in prison with a big black queer who "will never let go".


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

jon_berzerk said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > jon_berzerk said:
> ...


You shouldn't have to disappear. These people aren't former slaves.

We should have an underground railroad for abused people.


----------



## Bonzi (Sep 27, 2015)

jon_berzerk said:


> sealybobo said:
> 
> 
> > jon_berzerk said:
> ...


Mostly it's fear and lack of courage, plus men that beat women physically also do it emotionally and they are a shell


----------



## jon_berzerk (Sep 27, 2015)

sealybobo said:


> jon_berzerk said:
> 
> 
> > Bonzi said:
> ...




in a perfect world i would agree 

however we do not live in a perfect world


----------



## Bonzi (Sep 27, 2015)

sealybobo said:


> jon_berzerk said:
> 
> 
> > Bonzi said:
> ...


Like I said, some people can't let go. There was a story on tv where the woman got a restraining order, was on her way to court and he shot her


----------



## jon_berzerk (Sep 27, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> jon_berzerk said:
> 
> 
> > sealybobo said:
> ...




men who beat on women do it as control 

emotionally and /or physically


----------



## jon_berzerk (Sep 27, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> sealybobo said:
> 
> 
> > jon_berzerk said:
> ...




yes i had a LPN that worked in my home care several years ago 

that was in a really sick relationship 

she ended up putting a rat tail file  through his  belly 

and out his back one night


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## Bonzi (Sep 27, 2015)

I'd rather be dead that living in fear constantly looking over my shoulder


----------



## Bonzi (Sep 27, 2015)

jon_berzerk said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > sealybobo said:
> ...


In the worst of these situations, some does and often both or others in the way as well


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> sealybobo said:
> 
> 
> > jon_berzerk said:
> ...


Areal Castro, the guy who kidnapped 3 girls for ten years, told his ex wife he'd kill her if she pressed charges. Or he'd buy her a car if she didn't. She never pressed charges but he never bought her a car either.

Women in abusive relationships probably saw signs early but stayed because they thought they could change them, blame themselves, hope they won't do it again, are afraid or financially dependent on the person.


I'm sure it's never easy to leave.

My advice is get a gun and tell the police. That way they won't be surprised when they end up dead. Stay alert for 1 month. If they haven't bothered you in a month they are over you.


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

jon_berzerk said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > jon_berzerk said:
> ...


Women who mentally abuse men do it to control.


----------



## jon_berzerk (Sep 27, 2015)

sealybobo said:


> jon_berzerk said:
> 
> 
> > Bonzi said:
> ...




yes it goes both ways 

hence "sick relationships"


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> 
> In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.
> 
> ...


Kevin Hart's character in get hard with will pharrell was in a loving relationship and his wife beat him. Have you seen the movie? He's telling his old lady he's going to teach will how to survive prison. To be hard. She laughs at him and he says " bitch I can be hard" and she says what the hell did you say to me and starts bitch slapping him.

We aren't all the same and not all situations are the same. What's the difference between Kevin harts character and yours? Because there's a difference. I can't put my finger on why her punches were OK or not reason for her to be arrested. Is it because she didn't go to far? You say by hitting him she did. Was it because he deserved it? In their culture you don't disrespect a woman like that. Is it OK that black women will hit you if you call them bitch? Probably not but what if she's a good person besides this one flaw?

I think that's it. Bet your old lady had more than just this one fatal flaw. Of course she did if she walked away from her child. Everyone knows women like that are selfish, but I probably don't have to tell you that.

I wonder how many loving men or women with zero problems in their marriages would kill their spouse or themselves if the other one left. My mother's dying of Alzheimer's and she's killing my dad. He's her primary caregiver and she needs a lot of physical and emotional attention. He will be better off when shes gone. And he'd be better off if she was in a home. But he says if she dies he wants to die too. What if 30 years ago she left him for another man? I could see him losing it. Lol yes love makes people crazy.


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> I would hope that I would have left a person long before it escalated into a situation like that.  Geesh!    Thankfully nobody has ever tried to kill me before is all I can say.


Based on how you argue here I could see a guy leaving you so he doesn't go to jail.

All hot chicks are a little crazy. Usually the hotter the crazier


----------



## Bonzi (Sep 27, 2015)

And some people are just crazy.....


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## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> G.T. said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...


I have a lot more compassion for a woman who gets herself in an abusive relationship. Sorry to say if you go back far enough in the relationship you will find you got yourself into that relationship. And when was the first time she hit you like a bitch? How did you handle it? How did YOU get yourself in this situation? What would you do different if you could do it again?


----------



## sealybobo (Sep 27, 2015)

Bonzi said:


> I'd rather be dead that living in fear constantly looking over my shoulder


Then you would commit suicide?


----------



## Valerie (Sep 27, 2015)

Ravi said:


> If you are abused you have a right to defend yourself. Why the attempted gender war?





he just wants to share all his infinite wisdom about love...  he's a stage 5 Christian, donthchaknow...





BluePhantom said:


> *If you have never wanted to kill someone you have never been in love.*


----------



## Valerie (Sep 27, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> As far as Pillars...er...Catzmeow...I called her bluff last night and she blinked.  I really don't care what she has to say.




by the way, what makes you think that n00sock is catz?


----------



## Derideo_Te (Sep 27, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Gracie said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...





Yes, I have my bro-by-another-mo's back because I consider him to be a friend too.


----------



## Derideo_Te (Sep 27, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > Gracie said:
> ...



Sometimes you perceive something in a poster and you reach out and find a kindred spirit. There are couple of posters here who I consider to be friends and BP is one of them.


----------



## Derideo_Te (Sep 27, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> of course you have already established yourself as a racist, mysandrist time and time again so I really am not surprised by your point of view.



Carla is neither racist nor mysandrist, BP, and I have never seen her post anything that even verges on either of those positions.

As you posted yourself it is possible to misunderstand what someone is saying because the written word lacks ability to convey, tone, expression, etc.

Carla is witty and outspoken and could very well have been sarcastic in what you misperceived as racism and mysandry.

But I will leave it up to the both of you to sort that out between yourselves.


----------



## Carla_Danger (Sep 27, 2015)

Derideo_Te said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > of course you have already established yourself as a racist, mysandrist time and time again so I really am not surprised by your point of view.
> ...





Thank you, Deri.


----------



## Derideo_Te (Sep 27, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> Derideo_Te said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...



Got your back, Sis! 

And yes, for those who don't get it that means that Carla and I are friends here at USMB just like I am friends with BP.


----------



## Muhammed (Sep 27, 2015)

A friend of mine was dating a bi-polar woman. Then he said they were going to move in together. I warned him what would happen. She would hit him and he would hit her back, hard. And he would go to jail.

And that's exactly how it panned out.


----------



## Carla_Danger (Sep 27, 2015)

Derideo_Te said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > Derideo_Te said:
> ...





Hugs, right back at ya!  It doesn't surprise me that you and BP are online buddies, you're one of the most likable posters here at USMB.


----------



## Derideo_Te (Sep 27, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> Derideo_Te said:
> 
> 
> > Carla_Danger said:
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While I feel the same about you I suspect that there might be some at USMB who would disagree with you when it comes to my "likability" here at USMB.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 27, 2015)

Derideo_Te said:


> Carla_Danger said:
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I say to hell with those screwballs!  lol


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## ChrisL (Sep 28, 2015)

Derideo_Te said:


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Lies.    All lies.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 28, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


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It wasn't the band that was the problem, genius; it was where they were playing.  I am guessing you haven't spent a lot of time in Pittsburgh or you would be aware that Homewood and the Hill District are two of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the United States. Think it would be a good idea for a 24 year old, upper middle class white boy to go strolling through Compton after dark?  PROBABLY, not the wisest course of action.  Those neighborhoods re every bit as bad (and probably worse).  

If my black friend who had lived in Pittsburgh all his life says I can't go there for an event taking place after dark, I think it's probably wise to take his advice don't you?


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## BluePhantom (Sep 28, 2015)

Derideo_Te said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > of course you have already established yourself as a racist, mysandrist time and time again so I really am not surprised by your point of view.
> ...



Oh I don't think I am misunderstanding *anything*, brother.   Your experience has clearly been different than mine and I will leave it at that so as to avoid drawing you in the middle, but based on past exchanges between the two of us, I have very little doubt that she is BOTH a racist and a mysandrist.  But as you said...that's our issue and not yours.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 28, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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Oh come on now.  You're just a big baby.  You couldn't handle two women giving you a piece of their mind, so you accused me and Esmeralda of being socks.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 28, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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OMG, that's laughable.  EWF has no scary venue, with scary racist people attending. Is it possible that "Fred" just doesn't want to be seen with you?


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## BluePhantom (Sep 28, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> BluePhantom said:
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OMG you CAN'T be this dense.  A band does not create the venue and they don't book the venue.  Their manager arranges it and the band shows up and plays there. You know EWF doesn't exactly sell out Heinz Field anymore.  By 1993, when this went down, they were not selling out much of anything.  Their sound had changed, their records were not selling well, and they had just come back from a three year hiatus.  They were in the middle stages of their history where their glory days were over and it was too soon for them to sell out major arenas as a classic band. When they played that show in Pittsburgh it was a very low point for them and getting a booking at a huge venue that was in a better part of town wasn't going to happen.  They took what they could get at the time which happened to be a very small venue in a part of town wasn't safe for 24 year old upper middle class white boys to go walking around in. .How hard is that to understand?


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## BluePhantom (Sep 28, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> BluePhantom said:
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No it was very simple.  You believe women should have superior rights to men.  That makes you a mysandrist.  Only you can try to spin it some other way.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 28, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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You're a big baby and a control freak, upset that you can't have any control over the decisions women make concerning their bodies.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 28, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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No one is talking about who creates the venue. That's not the point. 
You used Fred, your pretend friend, to validate your racist views on scary black people, when you were trying to prove that racism goes both ways.

In the past and in the present, EWF crowds are mostly middle age white folks, and they don't play in areas where you would need protection from scary black people. Stop being such a wuss.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 28, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


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And here we go with the "men are just trying to control women's bodies" bullshit.  The typical mysandrist rhetoric when you can't debate the merits of the argument.  No wonder DT described you as "witty" instead of "intelligent".


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## BluePhantom (Sep 28, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


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The only person insisting Fred is imaginary is you because apparently it's inconceivable to you that a black man and a white man can not only be friends, but that I would ask a black man to stand for me at my wedding. You are INCREDIBLY racist for dismissing that.  You are also arrogant for insisting that simply because you insist it's not the truth that it somehow constitutes some form of evidence.  You said earlier that you caught me in a lie about my friend Fred...you didn't catch me in shit.  All you did was display your racist views and insist I could not possible have a black friend and then insisted that was somehow "proof". 

Then you chase me from thread to thread harassing me about my friend and being a general racist bitch. You don't know shit Carla.  You don't know my life, you don't know who my friends are.  You don't know the life I have lived.  You don't know what my experiences have been and frankly you are an idiot for assuming you do.   Who the fuck do you think you are making such assumptions and accusations?

Like I said...DT described you in several ways.  I notice "intelligent" wasn't one of them.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 28, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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I'll wait here while you go find the quote showing I dislike men.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 28, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


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The argument is not that a white man and a black man can't be friends, you idiot boob. That was your same straw man argument towards those of us who didn't buy your garbage on the other thread.  It didn't work. Sorry, but I just don't buy your ridiculous story about your black friend not being able to protect you at an Earth, Wind, and Fire concert.

Your story is ridiculous and you know it. I brought it up because this story of you having to hit a woman is just as suspect.

If you don't want people commenting on this shit you spew, keep your personal life off the public forum, otherwise I'm going to give you my 2 cents.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 28, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Like I said...DT described you in several ways.  I notice "intelligent" wasn't one of them.




And btw, I am also going to point out that you are the only one trying to drag Deri into this. I think it's pretty sorry of you, and it definitely shows your lack of character. Maybe you should call Fred to come to your rescue instead.


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## Delta4Embassy (Sep 29, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> 
> In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.
> 
> ...




Time for physical force isn't sex-dependent. If someone's out of control a good smack can help.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


> BluePhantom said:
> 
> 
> > I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> ...



Sometimes a person might have some mental issues or something, so no, a "smack" isn't going to do anything except piss the person off even more sometimes and escalate the situation.  The correct thing to do is to gather your things and leave, even if only for the night or something.  Whatever you have to do.


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## Ravi (Sep 29, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


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I seriously doubt a self-respecting scary black person would ever, ever, ever attend an EWF concert.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 29, 2015)

ChrisL said:


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There's always two sides of the story. I'm sure the ex has quite a different version of events.


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## Delta4Embassy (Sep 29, 2015)

ChrisL said:


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If there's ever a time to hit a man, there's also a time to hit a woman. Being mentally ill doesn't pardon you. If you're doing something detrimental to public order or safety and you get hit, thank you lucky stars that's all that happened.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Ravi said:


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Earth, Wind and Fire = so gangsta.


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## Bonzi (Sep 29, 2015)

In movies you see girls fighting guys all the time....  some women welcome and can handle the challenge.

Give me your best shot!


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


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Of course it does.  That is the whole thing about "mental illness."  Lol.  The person who is mentally is a person who cannot control him or herself.  They need medicine and therapy, not smacking.  Good Lord.


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## Delta4Embassy (Sep 29, 2015)

Seen pleanty of "women" on reality shows I'd pay good money to wail on.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


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Probably.    That's usually the way it goes with a failed relationship.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


> Seen pleanty of "women" on reality shows I'd pay good money to wail on.



Okay, well if you meet someone that you really don't like, then it's probably not a good idea to start any kind of relationship with said person.    That way, they aren't your problem.  When already with someone, if you have an urge to strike them, it probably a good idea to just go at that point.  Hitting and physically fighting is NOT going to solve any of the issues, is it?


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

If you are physically abusive or intimidating to a person, all you will accomplish is to make that person FEAR you.  Is that the kind of relationship that anyone would want?  Where your significant other is afraid of you?  Afraid that if you get angry, you will hit him or her?  And, if you are the victim, to try and counter that with violence of your own?  Geesh, where does it end?  Not anyplace good, I can tell you that much.


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## Delta4Embassy (Sep 29, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> If you are physically abusive or intimidating to a person, all you will accomplish is to make that person FEAR you.  Is that the kind of relationship that anyone would want?  Where your significant other is afraid of you?  Afraid that if you get angry, you will hit him or her?  And, if you are the victim, to try and counter that with violence of your own?  Geesh, where does it end?  Not anyplace good, I can tell you that much.



Not talking about relationships. Talking about having a vulva being some kind of magical protection against getting a well-deserved ass whooping. Women can be more annoying and stress-inducing than men to be certain. If one's going off all hysterical and throwing things, that she's a she isn't going to protect her from a man's well deserved wrath.

Wanna be equal, fine, but there are consequences. Treat you as my equal no problem, but gonna treat you like one of the boys and if you get uppity and it's justifiable (if not legally so) you're gonna get hit.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > If you are physically abusive or intimidating to a person, all you will accomplish is to make that person FEAR you.  Is that the kind of relationship that anyone would want?  Where your significant other is afraid of you?  Afraid that if you get angry, you will hit him or her?  And, if you are the victim, to try and counter that with violence of your own?  Geesh, where does it end?  Not anyplace good, I can tell you that much.
> ...



You dumbass!  This isn't about your immature "boys versus girls" war!  People die from this shit, and people like YOU are encouraging it!  

Domestic Violence Facts


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## Delta4Embassy (Sep 29, 2015)

ChrisL said:


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Ever asked whether the victim of deomstic violence was a complete tool and deserved their fate? Ask that first time every time. You're like the vocal blacks siding with some pos who got roughed up by police never bothering to inquire whether this was some animal you'd gladly shove off a cliff. Men don't side with all men, so why should women all women, or blacks all blacks? It doesn't make much sense.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


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I'm not "siding" with anyone.  I am saying, the best idea is to leave the bad situation ASAP before it escalates to abuse.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


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If you notice and pay attention, I said "significant other" and I also used the pronouns "him or her."


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## Delta4Embassy (Sep 29, 2015)

People who make physical force justifiable don't always give you a choice to flee. Unless you're under the impression a woman can never do wrong nor present a credible physical threat against any man, you must conceed sometimes violence is not only justified, but also deserved. That's all I'm saying. 

Women were never sugar and spice and everything nice. That's a myth.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > If you are physically abusive or intimidating to a person, all you will accomplish is to make that person FEAR you.  Is that the kind of relationship that anyone would want?  Where your significant other is afraid of you?  Afraid that if you get angry, you will hit him or her?  And, if you are the victim, to try and counter that with violence of your own?  Geesh, where does it end?  Not anyplace good, I can tell you that much.
> ...



I noticed that you said "not talking about relationships."  Well, that is what the thread is about.  Domestic violence, which means abuse of one or both partners.  Of course, domestic violence can go both ways and both can participate in it too.  We aren't talking about some stranger coming up and assaulting you on the street!!!    That is a completely DIFFERENT situation entirely.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


> People who make physical force justifiable don't always give you a choice to flee. Unless you're under the impression a woman can never do wrong nor present a credible physical threat against any man, you must conceed sometimes violence is not only justified, but also deserved. That's all I'm saying.
> 
> Women were never sugar and spice and everything nice. That's a myth.



If she does make a threat or assault you, then you should leave.  Hitting on her is not going to solve the problem.  Nobody has said that a woman can do no wrong.


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## Delta4Embassy (Sep 29, 2015)

ChrisL said:


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How'd ya partially reply? Manually edit the code text?


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## Delta4Embassy (Sep 29, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Delta4Embassy said:
> 
> 
> > People who make physical force justifiable don't always give you a choice to flee. Unless you're under the impression a woman can never do wrong nor present a credible physical threat against any man, you must conceed sometimes violence is not only justified, but also deserved. That's all I'm saying.
> ...



Title of this thread is asking whether it's ever appropriate to hit a woman. My answer's an unqualified 'yes.'


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


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I didn't.  I quoted your entire post.  I just wanted to address that one point in particular.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


> ChrisL said:
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Perhaps, but a healthy person would never let it escalate to that point.  An independent and emotionally healthy person would leave LONG before that point.


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## Delta4Embassy (Sep 29, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Delta4Embassy said:
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Mean instead of the entire chain of replies to replie to replies which can amount to so many it scrunches up and they're all unreadable. I usually wind up just replying in an empty field due to overlong replie chains. Or manually type or cut n paste who/what I'm replying to.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Personally, I don't like that kind of drama, so I would leave at the first sign of "instability."  Drug abuse, alcohol abuse, violent temper, etc., etc.  All of those are big fat red flags, IMO.  Of course, everyone has a temper and get angry sometimes, maybe even yell and cuss or something.  The thing is, some people act out with violence.  You know, if I meet someone, and they start talking about keying their ex's car or something along those lines, I would usually avoid much if any contact with that person in the future.  Lol.


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## ChrisL (Sep 29, 2015)

Delta4Embassy said:


> ChrisL said:
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  Beats me.  (Inappropriate?  Lol)  I didn't do anything.  I just replied to the post.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 30, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Delta4Embassy said:
> 
> 
> > People who make physical force justifiable don't always give you a choice to flee. Unless you're under the impression a woman can never do wrong nor present a credible physical threat against any man, you must conceed sometimes violence is not only justified, but also deserved. That's all I'm saying.
> ...




Nobody becomes violent simply from relocating.  The OP is mental.


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## Defiant1 (Sep 30, 2015)

In the "old days", when some of us were growing up, we were taught it was NEVER appropriate to hit a woman.

Today it depends whether the woman is a liberal or a conservative.


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## frigidweirdo (Sep 30, 2015)

I knew a case similar in Spain.

A guy (cousin of a girlfriend from a village in a poor part of Spain) met a woman on the internet from Peru. Went on "holiday" to Peru and married the woman without anyone knowing. He brought her back and her "one child". This "one child" turned into various children and a grandchild. 
She beat up her husband and the kids got a free ride. The big problem was that the house they were in had been in the family so long that there was no documented legality to it. If he left her, the house was hers. So he moved them all to Madrid. And there I don't know what happened next as I didn't speak as much to anyone in the know after this.

Personally, if a woman attacked me, I'd attack back. My mother came after me with a knife, and she had a big scar on her forehead where I smacked her with a cup. But I wouldn't tolerate being hit. I wouldn't hit back in a manner to be bad, but to make sure I wasn't beaten up. Then I'd kick her out.


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## ChrisL (Sep 30, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> ChrisL said:
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> > Delta4Embassy said:
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Well, I can see how stress, being a new young mom, suddenly finding yourself far away from your support system and security of your family and friends, could MAYBE cause someone to be miserable.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 30, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Carla_Danger said:
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Yes, but it does not cause one to suddenly want to murder.  lol


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## ChrisL (Sep 30, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> ChrisL said:
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> > Carla_Danger said:
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True.    Another question I would like to ask BluePhantom is if he ever left the child in her care?  I can't see him bringing a baby to school and work every day.  There must have been some times when he trusted this woman to care for his baby alone.


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## Carla_Danger (Sep 30, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Carla_Danger said:
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I don't think I want to hear anymore about BP's dysfunctional life, unless it's from the ex. I wouldn't mind hearing her version.  I'd also like to talk to Fred and find out why he refused to take his Namby Pamby friend to see Earth, Wind, and Fire.  lol


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## koshergrl (Sep 30, 2015)

frigidweirdo said:


> I knew a case similar in Spain.
> 
> A guy (cousin of a girlfriend from a village in a poor part of Spain) met a woman on the internet from Peru. Went on "holiday" to Peru and married the woman without anyone knowing. He brought her back and her "one child". This "one child" turned into various children and a grandchild.
> She beat up her husband and the kids got a free ride. The big problem was that the house they were in had been in the family so long that there was no documented legality to it. If he left her, the house was hers. So he moved them all to Madrid. And there I don't know what happened next as I didn't speak as much to anyone in the know after this.
> ...


 This explains so much about you.


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## shadow355 (Sep 30, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> I am prompted to open this topic because of a different thread.  It's been discussed before buy with all the recent media about it I am wondering if opinions have changed.  I am going to share something personal with you.  I was in an abusive relationship but I was not the abuser.  Yes men can be the victims of domestic abuse just like women can.  It doesn't get reported as often because men don't want to admit a woman is beating them up but it's not as uncommon as you might believe.
> 
> In my case my ex-girlfriend  and I had a baby and I took my new family to Pittsburgh so I could go to college. She was young , from a small town, and had never experienced a big city before.  She had been yanked 2,000 miles across the country and was suddenly in the position of being a wife and a mother in a setting where she knew no one, she had no friends, and no support.  She didn't do well.  Actually she flipped out and within months she was attacking me on a regular basis.  Usually it was just hitting but as time went on it got more and more dangerous.  She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.  I took it for many reasons.  One, I didn't want to lose my daughter.  Two, I hoped it was just something she was just going through as an adjustment to her new circumstances.  It didn't get better.
> 
> ...




I never hit my ex-wife, or any of my three ex girlfriends. I never hit - punched - threw - pushed any one of them. The ex wife is the only one I got into any verbal arguments with, only two serious ones that I recall.

Shadow 355


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## BluePhantom (Sep 30, 2015)

Carla_Danger said:


> I don't think I want to hear anymore about BP's dysfunctional life,



Then quit following me around the boards harassing me about it.  You are free to leave my thread at any time you wish.



Carla_Danger said:


> unless it's from the ex. I wouldn't mind hearing her version.  I'd also like to talk to Fred and find out why he refused to take his Namby Pamby friend to see Earth, Wind, and Fire.  lol



Carla, even if I were to do something totally ridiculous like have them set up an account on USMB so they could contact you, you would simply say I created them myself and insist I was a liar...then you would follow me all over the place claimed you had proven I was a liar because you simply didn't believe me.  For whatever reason, you have an ax to grind and for whatever reason it irritates you enough that you have to harp on things at every chance possible.  _*All I will say is that I am VERY pleased to know I am under your skin even when I am not even thinking about you*_.


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## BluePhantom (Sep 30, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
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Initially, sure. Not when she started to freak out, though.  I took my daughter to a day care center. I was lucky enough to come from money and could afford that.  I was lucky.  That's a luxury a lot of people in that situation don't have.


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## Carla_Danger (Oct 1, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > I don't think I want to hear anymore about BP's dysfunctional life,
> ...





BP, I am here for shits and giggles. This forum is for entertainment purposes only. No one is following you around, no one is thinking of you round the clock. You may be suffering from delusions of grandeur.

And yes, it would be totally ridiculous for you to set up a sock account to prove a ridiculous story. So why even bring it up? Did I buy the story of when you said your daughter was posting on your account?  No, no I did not. I did not buy it because I don't believe you are an honest poster. I also don't buy this story of you having to hit your wife, just like I don't buy the story of Fred.

If you want to air your dirty laundry on a public forum, this is what you should expect. If you want to share your story with online friends, I suggest you start a personal blog somewhere.


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## Carla_Danger (Oct 1, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Carla_Danger said:
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Did you know that poor people also get to take their children to day care?


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## ChrisL (Oct 1, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
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> > Carla_Danger said:
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So the mother was NEVER left with her baby?  Maybe that's why she hated you?  Maybe you were/are a very controlling person?    I mean, you say she was the one doing the threatening and such things, but it sounds to me, from the story you tell, that you were the one in charge and in control in this relationship.


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## BluePhantom (Oct 2, 2015)

ChrisL said:


> BluePhantom said:
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Jesus Chris.  Go and look back on the post you just quoted.  The first thing I said was "_Initially, sure. Not when she started to freak out, though._".  In other words, of course I left her alone with her baby, UNTIL it wasn't safe to do that anymore.  Did you even read the post?  Were you drunk when you responded or something?  Why are you going to such lengths to defend an abuser?  Is it just because she is a woman?  Aren't you doing exactly what society says you shouldn't do if the genders were reversed?


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## ChrisL (Oct 3, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
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> ...



It sure sounds like you were the one making all the decisions in this relationship, no?  You moved her away from her family and friends.  Was she old enough or ready to be a mom?  You also put your career and your education a few points higher than her happiness and security.  Obviously she didn't want to be so far away from her support system.  It would have been up to you to become her support system in that case.  I think you sound as if you are a quite "controlling" individual.  Of course, just because I point out your errors doesn't mean that she is innocent.  

I certainly do not believe this situation was a "black and white" as you seem to want to make it seem.  Again, we don't GET to hear HER side of this, now do we?  It's just you trashing some woman on the internet and nothing more at this point.


----------



## ChrisL (Oct 3, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Carla_Danger said:
> ...



So, you took your daughter to day care.  For how long was this going on?  What was your ex doing this whole time?  Did she work?  What did she do with herself during this period of time?


----------



## ChrisL (Oct 3, 2015)

BluePhantom said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > Carla_Danger said:
> ...



If you "come from money" why is it that you didn't retain an attorney and start working on your case?


----------



## ChrisL (Oct 3, 2015)

I knew a woman who was abused and had managed to escape her situation with her youngest son after suffering for years.  Her older son had already moved away from the home.  

She still has scars on her face.  She had been hospitalized multiple times and was in a coma once.  Her husband was a cop though.  He had a lot of connections with judges and lawyers, etc.


----------



## Carla_Danger (Jan 7, 2016)




----------



## Esmeralda (Jan 14, 2016)

frigidweirdo said:


> I knew a case similar in Spain.
> 
> A guy (cousin of a girlfriend from a village in a poor part of Spain) met a woman on the internet from Peru. Went on "holiday" to Peru and married the woman without anyone knowing. He brought her back and her "one child". This "one child" turned into various children and a grandchild.
> She beat up her husband and the kids got a free ride. The big problem was that the house they were in had been in the family so long that there was no documented legality to it. If he left her, the house was hers. So he moved them all to Madrid. And there I don't know what happened next as I didn't speak as much to anyone in the know after this.
> ...


Lots of men get in trouble and end up in jail because they fight back when a woman might hit them. A man is usually twice as strong and sometimes twice a big. A man 'fighting back' if a woman hits or slaps him is often like a grown up 'fighting back' if a child takes a swing at him. It is not reasonable and it is over compensation.  Unless you are in real danger you do what a reasonable and emotionally mature man does--you walk away.  If it is a knife attack, that is something different. If your woman is regularly violent, you get a divorce.  It's all pretty simple, when you take testosterone out of the equation.


----------



## Esmeralda (Jan 14, 2016)

Defiant1 said:


> In the "old days", when some of us were growing up, we were taught it was NEVER appropriate to hit a woman.
> 
> Today it depends whether the woman is a liberal or a conservative.


This is really not funny. This is sick, not funny.


----------



## Esmeralda (Jan 14, 2016)

BluePhantom said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...


----------



## Esmeralda (Jan 14, 2016)

BluePhantom said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...


It takes a lot of intelligence to be truly witty.  It's the dullards who have a weak sense of humor because they don't have a sharp and quick mind, don't see irony and satire, and take everything literally.


----------



## Esmeralda (Jan 14, 2016)

Bonzi said:


> sealybobo said:
> 
> 
> > jon_berzerk said:
> ...


Statistics show that it is when a woman leaves or tries to leave an abusive relationship that she most often ends up dead. A huge reason for them to be afraid of leaving, of feeling trapped.


----------



## sealybobo (Jan 14, 2016)

Esmeralda said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > sealybobo said:
> ...


Arent they afraid to stay?

They should have left the first time they were hit. Women who are killed for trying to leave usually have a long history of being abused. 

Nicole Simpson should have left the first time he hit her.

Ray rices' girlfriend married him after he knocked her out. And she tells people who bash her for it to mind our own business.

In a way they've asked for it.


----------



## Esmeralda (Jan 14, 2016)

Jeremiah said:


> Carla_Danger said:
> 
> 
> > BluePhantom said:
> ...


What a load of bull.


----------



## Esmeralda (Jan 14, 2016)

sealybobo said:


> Esmeralda said:
> 
> 
> > Bonzi said:
> ...


But they don't leave in the beginning. They think it will get better. When it gets worse and they finally decide to leave, that is when they most often end up dead. This is backed up by statistics. Like Nicole Simpson. She left him after years of abuse. What happened? She ended up dead.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

sealybobo said:


> Arent they afraid to stay?



Believe it or not but some consenting couples utilize domestic discipline (non-sexual) as a part of their relationship.


----------



## jon_berzerk (Jan 14, 2016)

Esmeralda said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > sealybobo said:
> ...




indeed that is a very problematic time in a relationship 

sometimes we do not know why since they end up as murder suicide


----------



## Bonzi (Jan 14, 2016)

Sometimes it is better to stay put in a relationship - unless there are children involved.  That makes it even more complicated but one must protect children at all costs


----------



## Moonglow (Jan 14, 2016)

*Is There NEVER a Time to Hit a Woman? NEVER?*


Dude, you get to pound that pussy, it takes a beating..


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)

_
Arent they afraid to stay?

*They should have left the first time* they were hit. Women who are killed for trying to leave usually have a long history of being abused.

Nicole Simpson* should have left the first time he hit her.*

Ray rices' girlfriend married him after he knocked her out. And she tells people who bash her for it to mind our own business.

*In a way they've asked for it.*
_



  what a stupid little turd you are... yeah, women like nicole simpson ASKED FOR IT.




sealybobo said:


> In a way they've asked for it.


----------



## Cecilie1200 (Jan 14, 2016)

BluePhantom said:


> G.T. said:
> 
> 
> > i dunn believe you bro
> ...



First of all, I don't think putting your hands on another person is ever appropriate or acceptable except in defense of your own life and safety.  Second of all, I think if a woman is putting your life and/or safety at risk, she doesn't get a special consideration because she's carrying a vagina while doing it.


----------



## sealybobo (Jan 14, 2016)

Valerie said:


> _Arent they afraid to stay?
> 
> *They should have left the first time* they were hit. Women who are killed for trying to leave usually have a long history of being abused.
> 
> ...


She should have left the stupid bitch.

Its not like Ray Rice's wife wasn't warned.  Oh, and she wasn't his wife before this.  I guess a punch in the face makes a woman's heart grow fonder. 



​


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Bonzi said:


> Sometimes it is better to stay put in a relationship.....



Sometimes the people involved in the relationship see discipline as a good and necessary part of the relationship.


----------



## Bonzi (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > Sometimes it is better to stay put in a relationship.....
> ...


 
It's okay as long as you are not going to kill the person.  Maybe you are okay with that too?


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)

what's okay?  hitting a woman is "okay" as long you don't kill her..?





Bonzi said:


> It's okay as long as you are not going to kill the person.


----------



## Bonzi (Jan 14, 2016)

Valerie said:


> what's okay?  hitting a woman is "okay" as long you don't kill her..?


 
that's what I'm asking Anathema.....


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Bonzi said:


> It's okay as long as you are not going to kill the person.  Maybe you are okay with that too?



There is a pretty wide line between discipline and abuse. There's also a line between the disgusting act of abuse and the deplorable act of murder. Discipline is not abuse and nowhere near murder.


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)

"discipline" which involves hitting IS abuse.




Anathema said:


> There is a pretty wide line between discipline and abuse.


----------



## Cecilie1200 (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > Sometimes it is better to stay put in a relationship.....
> ...



What an utter load of horseshit from a pathetic lack of testosterone trying to make himself feel manly.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Valerie said:


> "discipline" which involves hitting IS abuse.



On that we will differ in opinion. I will agree that any system of discipline where the first step is physical borders on abuse; but that's not what I'm talking about.


----------



## Bonzi (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Bonzi said:
> 
> 
> > It's okay as long as you are not going to kill the person.  Maybe you are okay with that too?
> ...


 
out of rage though, you could accidentally kill someone....... you don't seem to exhibit much self control.
or is that by choice?


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Valerie said:
> 
> 
> > "discipline" which involves hitting IS abuse.
> ...




so under what circumstances do you find 'disciplining' your spouse by hitting them "okay"?


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)

Compelling Reasons Women Stay


The one question our culture often asks of victims/survivors of domestic abuse is: 

*“Why do/did you stay in an abusive relationship?” or “Why doesn’t she just leave?”  Sometimes the question is meant as an honest inquiry.  However, often it is spoken with an undercurrent of hostility or disbelief (i.e. “It couldn’t have been that bad” or “You must have liked it” or “If you wanted to leave, you would have.”), sending a message that women who stay in abusive relationships are somehow to blame for their abuse.*

Our culture also sends equally powerful messages that women are expected to fill roles in their relationships that keep them dependent on their partners.  This combination of messages sets women up to feel ashamed, isolated and stuck.  Some may feel that they have no real choices.

The following list is a composite of views from women in DAP Women’s Groups over the past several years.  They invited us into their lives and helped us answer the question: What keeps some women in abusive relationships?

_Note: Not all of these reasons are found in each case.  A combination of some of them can often be found and can be compelling enough to keep a woman in the relationship._

*A woman may fear her partner’s actions if she leaves.*

My partner said he will hunt me down and kill me.
My partner will kidnap the children and disappear.
My partner will take my passport and immigration papers.
My partner will spread horrible rumors about me.
She will “out” me at work or to my family.
My partner will have me deported or report me to the INS.
My partner will stop the processing of my Green Card.

*The effects of abuse may make it difficult to leave.*

I’m nothing. I don’t deserve better.
I feel paralyzed.
I can’t face making decisions anymore.
I was brainwashed to believe that I couldn’t cope without my partner.
I am so used to life being this way.
I’m more comfortable with what I know, than the unknown out in the world.

*A woman may have concerns about her children.*

My children will blame me and resent me.
The kids need a father.
She will tell my ex-spouse or authorities that I am a lesbian so they will take the kids.
Children need a “real family”.
My partner will steal the children.
My partner will kill the children.
My partner will turn the children against me.
She is the biological mother; I have no legal rights.

*A partner’s attempts to isolate a woman may make it difficult for her to leave or get help.*

My partner doesn’t let me out of the house.
I have no friends to call for help anymore.
My partner doesn’t let me take English classes so I can’t communicate with anyone.
If I ever tell anyone about this, my partner will kill me.
My sister said I couldn’t come and stay with her anymore, after the last time…
My partner said he or she would teach my friend a lesson if I go over there again.
My partner hides my wheelchair so I cannot leave the house.

*A woman’s personal history may have shaped her attitude toward abuse in relationships.*

My father beat my mom – it just goes with being in a relationship.
Getting hit isn’t the worst thing that can happen in a family – I know of worse things.
I have seen a lot of violence in my country so violence has become normal for me.
My parents never gave up on one another.

*A woman may be deeply attached to her partner and hope for change*.

I believe my partner when he or she says that it will never happen again.
My partner promised to go to therapy.
I cherish the sex and intimacy.
My partner is really loving towards me most of the time.
My marriage vows.
My religion.
I love her or him.

*Some women are taught that it is their job to maintain the relationship and support their partners, so they may feel guilty about leaving or feel they have “failed.”*

I will ruin his or her life if I leave.
My partner will have nowhere to go.
My partner will lose her or his job if I report this.
My partner tells me the system does not support non-citizens.
My partner will start drinking again.
I will disappoint my family.  I can’t admit my relationship is a failure.
I am afraid the deaf community will reject me.
I have to take care of him or her.
She or he wouldn’t hurt me if I were better at keeping up the house.

*Women may be economically dependent on their partners or their partners may be economically dependent on them.*

My partner has all the money.
I’ve never had a good job.  How would I take care of my kids alone?
I have no work experience in this country.
It’s better to be beaten up at home than to be out on the streets.
My partner won’t let me send any money overseas.
My disability does not enable me to work.
I’d rather die than be on welfare.
My partner forces me to work and then takes all my money.
My partner charges up all my credit cards.
My partner can’t work – he depends on me to support him.

*Our culture sends the message that a woman’s value depends on her being in a relationship.  Women without partners tend to be devalued.*

My partner keeps me together.  I’ll fall apart if I leave.
I have to have a man by my side.
I would be disgraced in my community and bring shame to my family.
People will call me a whore, a whore, or sleazy.
I’ll be an old maid.
I’m afraid to be on my own.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Bonzi said:


> out of rage though, you could accidentally kill someone....... you don't seem to exhibit much self control.
> or is that by choice?



At times my self-control can be exceptional. It depends on the circumstances surrounding the inflanatory event. 

In terms of the discipline, we hace an agreed upon system of increasingly unpleasant steps. Not until the third step is any form of corporal punishment involved. The third and fourth steps include ut. Step five is involuntary removal from the home.


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)

_Why women stay in abusive relationships is the wrong question. The questions we should be asking are: Why do men terrorize their partners? Why does the community allow battering to continue? _

_How can we be helpful to women in the process of leaving? A common mistake in understanding domestic violence is to scrutinize the survivor and avoid looking at the perpetrator. People believe that if battered women REALLY wanted to leave they could just get up and go. _

_Many people overlook the environmental barriers that prevent women from leaving and too often focus on psychological "characteristics" of women instead. Although men’s violence is the crucial question, many people wonder why women stay – and advocates of battered women have made the following suggestions. _

Stop violence and prevent crime; domestic violence, why battered women stay (why some battered women sometimes stay)


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> At times my self-control can be exceptional. It depends on the circumstances surrounding the inflanatory event.
> 
> In terms of the discipline, we hace an agreed upon system of increasingly unpleasant steps. Not until the third step is any form of corporal punishment involved. The third and fourth steps include ut. Step five is involuntary removal from the home.




i think you're full of shit, trying to incite a reaction on the forum.


----------



## Bonzi (Jan 14, 2016)

Valerie said:


> _Why women stay in abusive relationships is the wrong question. The questions we should be asking are: Why do men terrorize their partners? Why does the community allow battering to continue? _
> 
> _How can we be helpful to women in the process of leaving? A common mistake in understanding domestic violence is to scrutinize the survivor and avoid looking at the perpetrator. People believe that if battered women REALLY wanted to leave they could just get up and go. _
> 
> ...


 
If a woman is beaten, at least they have physical proof.
If they are psychologically or emotionally abused, it can’t be stopped.


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)

BluePhantom said:


> *If you have never wanted to kill someone you have never been in love.*


----------



## Bonzi (Jan 14, 2016)

What the hell?  Anyone that wants to kill has issues...


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Valerie said:


> i think you're full of shit, trying to incite a reaction on the forum.



You are 100% entitled to that opinion, Valerie. Many here are fully aware of my feelings about proper relationships between women and Men, which vary greatly from those of most people in this country. If you don't believe ne, feel free to ignore my comments entirely.


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)

Valerie said:


> so under what circumstances do you find 'disciplining' your spouse by hitting them "okay"?




still waiting for an answer ^


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Valerie said:


> Valerie said:
> 
> 
> > so under what circumstances do you find 'disciplining' your spouse by hitting them "okay"?
> ...



I wasn't sure you wanted one, considering your commentary related to not believing that I'm being honest.

Corporal Discipline/Punishment is part of the 3rd and 4th steps of a 5 step system that my wife and I use, and have used for the entirety of the almost 4 years we've lived together (even before we were married). Please note thst she is free to leave at any time, for any reason, pursuant to the clauses in our prenuptial agreement.

1st Step - Verbal Reminder of Infraction.

2nd Step - Verbal Reminder of Infraction and Loss of Privilege

3rd Step - Verbal Reminder of Infraction and Minor Physical Discipline (less than or equal to 10 Contacts)

4th Step - Verbal Reminder of Infraction and Major Physical Discipline (less than or equal to 20 Contacts)

5th Step - Verbal Reminder of Infraction and Removal from Premises

In nearly 48 months weve reached Step 3 once and Step 2 twice.


----------



## Ravi (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Valerie said:
> 
> 
> > Valerie said:
> ...


What infractions and what are the "contacts"?


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)

that answer lacks an answer... describe the 'infractions' you speak of.



_under what circumstances do you find 'disciplining' your spouse by hitting them "okay"?_


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Ravi said:


> What infractions and what are the "contacts"?



Pretty much any infraction from insubordination to failing to complete chores.

Contacts, in our lexicon, refers to open hand spanking, generally on the buttocks. No permanent marks are to be left or significant injury inflicted.


----------



## Valerie (Jan 14, 2016)




----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Valerie said:


> that answer lacks an answer... describe the 'infractions' you speak of.



In 2 of the 3 cases it was failure to complete basic tasks in the prescribed timeframe. The 3rd Step incident was included in that category.

The other 2nd Step incident was a repeated insubordination issue. Talking back and expressing opinions on topics that she is not the arbiter of in the household withoit being rewuested to do so.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Valerie said:


>



Then please feel free to ignore me and my comments.


----------



## mdk (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Valerie said:
> 
> 
> > Valerie said:
> ...



I beg your pardon, are you ill?


----------



## Ravi (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Ravi said:
> 
> 
> > What infractions and what are the "contacts"?
> ...


You should send your wife to a shrink. Seriously.


----------



## mdk (Jan 14, 2016)

I only found out very recently that my grandfather used to beat my grandma when he _felt_ she violated one of this household rules. He is quite lucky that I wasn't made aware of these facts when he was alive.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Ravi said:


> You should send your wife to a shrink. Seriously.



She aleeady sees one weekly.


----------



## Ravi (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Ravi said:
> 
> 
> > You should send your wife to a shrink. Seriously.
> ...


Then a different one. With a license and everything.


----------



## mdk (Jan 14, 2016)

Ravi said:


> You should send your wife to a shrink. Seriously.



I was thinking more along the lines of a divorce attorney.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

mdk said:


> I beg your pardon, are you ill?



No moreso than the vast majority of men in my family.


----------



## mdk (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> mdk said:
> 
> 
> > I beg your pardon, are you ill?
> ...



A terrifying notion indeed.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Ravi said:


> Then a different one. With a license and everything.



Licensed and Registered. Works with Medicare and everything. Been seeing her for almost 9 years now.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

mdk said:


> I was thinking more along the lines of a divorce attorney.



She's welcome to do that, within the confines of our prenup.


----------



## Vastator (Jan 14, 2016)

As to the thread title; women fought for equality. Who am I to cheapen the victory?


----------



## Ravi (Jan 14, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Ravi said:
> 
> 
> > Then a different one. With a license and everything.
> ...


Are your discipline beliefs based on religious views?


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Ravi said:


> Are your discipline beliefs based on religious views?



Not really on religious beliefs. Neither of us sre followers of or adherents to the precepts of an organized religion. We are both believers in a particular style of Traditionalist Morality and Values that includes well defined gender roles.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 14, 2016)

Vastator said:


> As to the thread title; women fought for equality. Who am I to cheapen the victory?



Very true. One cannot decry the privileges of Patriarchy and then hide behind the privileges of Chivalry without being seen as hypocritical.


----------



## Cecilie1200 (Jan 14, 2016)

mdk said:


> I only found out very recently that my grandfather used to beat my grandma when he _felt_ she violated one of this household rules. He is quite lucky that I wasn't made aware of these facts when he was alive.



What, you mean all women don't desire to be treated like idiot children their whole lives?  Some actually fancy themselves intelligent, adult human beings worthy of freedom and self-determination?

Color me shocked.

:sarcasm off:


----------



## mdk (Jan 14, 2016)

Cecilie1200 said:


> mdk said:
> 
> 
> > I only found out very recently that my grandfather used to beat my grandma when he _felt_ she violated one of this household rules. He is quite lucky that I wasn't made aware of these facts when he was alive.
> ...



It totally change my perception of him and not for the good. In a way, I almost wish I didn't know.


----------



## Cecilie1200 (Jan 14, 2016)

mdk said:


> Cecilie1200 said:
> 
> 
> > mdk said:
> ...



I have no problems with traditional gender roles, but I have never believed that my "traditional gender role" was as an idiot child.


----------



## Ravi (Jan 14, 2016)

Cecilie1200 said:


> mdk said:
> 
> 
> > Cecilie1200 said:
> ...


Your idiocy has nothing to do with gender.


----------



## Jarlaxle (Jan 16, 2016)

mdk said:


> Anathema said:
> 
> 
> > Valerie said:
> ...



Yes: he is a psychopathic nut and should be locked up.


----------



## ChrisL (Jan 16, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Valerie said:
> 
> 
> > that answer lacks an answer... describe the 'infractions' you speak of.
> ...



Basic tasks?  Such as?  

What do you consider "talking back?"  

What you want is a slave, not a spouse.


----------



## ChrisL (Jan 16, 2016)

Anathema said:


> mdk said:
> 
> 
> > I was thinking more along the lines of a divorce attorney.
> ...



You are a real loser, taking advantage of this woman who obviously suffers from low self esteem as well as other problems.  Anyone who would agree to such an arrangement is desperate, and you taking advantage of that and subjecting her to a life of abuse at your hands is just disgusting.  There are no excuses for your behavior.  You belong in jail.  You are a predator.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 16, 2016)

Cecilie1200 said:


> Basic tasks?  Such as?
> 
> What do you consider "talking back?"
> 
> What you want is a slave, not a spouse.



Basic tasks such as laundry, cleaning, cooking, doing the dishes, etc..... in those two specific cases - one was a laundry issue  and the other was a cleaning task.  Both had been well oitlined ahead of time.

Talking back, in terms of continuing a discussion past the time a decision has been made, arguing with a decision which is not in her realm to have an opinion on (like how we spend most of our money),  or just having a smart mouth about things.

I don't want a alave. I simply want, and she agrees, to be in a relationship where each of us have their duties, responsibilities and tasks. My place is to lead. Hers is to support, by her own agreement.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 16, 2016)

ChrisL said:


> You are a real loser, taking advantage of this woman who obviously suffers from low self esteem as well as other problems.  Anyone who would agree to such an arrangement is desperate, and you taking advantage of that and subjecting her to a life of abuse at your hands is just disgusting.  There are no excuses for your behavior.  You belong in jail.  You are a predator.



You say that, but don't think about the fact thst your great-grandmother probably lived a life very similar to my wife's. Though she didn't have vacuume cleaners, dishwashers or a washing machine to help her. 

Not that it'll make a difference to you, vut again, in FOUR YEARS together we've only been past Step One on that list three times.  Can you honestly say youve ever been in a relationship where you've only had 3 significant disagreements in a 4 year stretch of time?


----------



## Valerie (Jan 16, 2016)

Anathema said:


> *My place is to kead.* Hers is to support, by her own agreement.



  did you mean to say lead?


----------



## ChrisL (Jan 16, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Cecilie1200 said:
> 
> 
> > Basic tasks?  Such as?
> ...



She is not a child.  She is an adult woman.  She is perfectly capable of having her own opinions and voicing them.  When you marry someone, it is supposed to be a partnership where you both work together.  No one is supposed to "lead."  That is a sign of a dysfunctional relationship.


----------



## ChrisL (Jan 16, 2016)

Anathema said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > You are a real loser, taking advantage of this woman who obviously suffers from low self esteem as well as other problems.  Anyone who would agree to such an arrangement is desperate, and you taking advantage of that and subjecting her to a life of abuse at your hands is just disgusting.  There are no excuses for your behavior.  You belong in jail.  You are a predator.
> ...



You are supposed to love her and admire her and want to make her happy and listen to her opinions on matters and consider them and value them.


----------



## Anathema (Jan 16, 2016)

Valerie said:


> did you mean to say lead?



Yes. I'm posting from my phone this morning since I am not at home for most of the day today.


----------



## ChrisL (Jan 16, 2016)

Anathema said:


> ChrisL said:
> 
> 
> > You are a real loser, taking advantage of this woman who obviously suffers from low self esteem as well as other problems.  Anyone who would agree to such an arrangement is desperate, and you taking advantage of that and subjecting her to a life of abuse at your hands is just disgusting.  There are no excuses for your behavior.  You belong in jail.  You are a predator.
> ...



If you loved your wife, you would see that she isn't your property.  She is a human being with feelings and value.


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## Meathead (Jan 16, 2016)

ChrisL said:


> Anathema said:
> 
> 
> > ChrisL said:
> ...


What if she's a dingbat?


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## ChrisL (Jan 16, 2016)

Meathead said:


> ChrisL said:
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> 
> > Anathema said:
> ...



Why would you marry someone that you consider a dingbat?  She should be with someone who respects her.


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## Anathema (Jan 16, 2016)

ChrisL said:


> You are supposed to love her and admire her and want to make her happy and listen to her opinions on matters and consider them and value them.



Chris, neither she nor I believe in love. We both believe that relationships are best built on te a ility to mutually meet each other's needs, as ours is. I admire many things about her, and tell her that often. I want her to be happy, and she tells me she is. Her opinion matters more than mine on MANY issues in our home and always will. 

You see this relationship we have as an Owner/slave arrangement when nothing could be further from the truth. You jyst choose not to look at the positive in any of it.


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## Anathema (Jan 16, 2016)

Meathead said:


> What if she's a dingbat?



She is,in no way a dingbat, or anything of the sort.


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## mudwhistle (Jan 16, 2016)

Care4all said:


> Hitting her would reduce you to her level, and escalate the violence or her trying to hurt you even more, imo leaving would be the right thing to do, which you eventually did.
> 
> Also, getting her help....she is obviously not stable, something is wrong upstairs and she needs or needed, professional help....


Uh......so a knife attack isn't escalation enough? How much further escalation can the assault and attempted murder get? Perhaps he should have waited till she sunk her knife in his chest. Oh, I know. I'm just being a typical male-chauvinist pig. Girls are so defenseless. Same with lesbians. Anyone who is a member of the Democrat's protected class is harmless. It's those damned white middle-aged males that are always the threat. 

You liberals are being sexist about this. Nobody has the right to try to murder someone in their sleep, regardless what their sex is. This is identity politics and political-correctness at it's worst.


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## xotoxi (Jan 16, 2016)

BluePhantom said:


> She started using pans and statuettes to attack me.


 
You have statuettes in your house?  Do you live in a mansion?


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## Care4all (Jan 16, 2016)

mudwhistle said:


> Care4all said:
> 
> 
> > Hitting her would reduce you to her level, and escalate the violence or her trying to hurt you even more, imo leaving would be the right thing to do, which you eventually did.
> ...


Quite the Drama Queen there Mudwhistle....

If the knife attack happened, then of course he had to stop her.

But prior to that attack, he was unable to recognize that she had Postpartum Depression/Psychosis (as in Andrea Yates) and needed help, professional help.... Blue kept saying how she was normal, until post child.

Many men, like Andrea Yate's husband, fail to recognize how dangerous this condition can be, without proper treatment.  He attributed it to the "move" out of State....but it wasn't....

It's better to have all of this come out in the open and discuss it, so more men are more aware of the condition and recognize it early on, before the knife attacks and drownings.


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## mudwhistle (Jan 16, 2016)

Care4all said:


> mudwhistle said:
> 
> 
> > Care4all said:
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Nice to be able to sit back and be an armchair quarterback or some sort of amateur physiologist?
Anyone ever tell you that life is complex and so are relationships? People don't always take the best course of action.....especially where love is at one time involved.


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## Care4all (Jan 16, 2016)

mudwhistle said:


> Care4all said:
> 
> 
> > mudwhistle said:
> ...


No doubt I'm arm chairing it, like EVERYONE ELSE in this thread, including you, Unless of course, you are Blue Phantom...

But it is still worth noting, in retrospect, that his girlfriend or wife's behavior DRASTICALLY changed for the worse, immediately after she delivered their child....

I would have been none the wiser if I were him as well...........this took place long before any of us ever even heard of an Andrea Yates and Postpartum Psychosis....

but it is worthy to discuss and note, so others may learn to recognize the signs, as well...


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## mudwhistle (Jan 16, 2016)

Care4all said:


> mudwhistle said:
> 
> 
> > Care4all said:
> ...


I wasn't arm-chairing anything here.
I've not offered a solution. I've just commented on the stereotypes involved.
But thanks for at least partly agreeing with me.

I don't know if the problem is so much having a baby, but I do think it's a matter of culture-shock. Anyone who's experienced it, or seen people who have reacted negatively from it, they know that it can cause suicidal tendencies. An example is the female soldier attached to my unit who had a German husband who tried cutting his wrists because he couldn't cope with the change living in the United States was, or the soldier going through basic training who all of the sudden tries to kill himself because of stress and depression. Some people who live sheltered lives tend to find it hard to adapt to change.

Then there's the lifer who lived most of his adult life in the military and sinks into deep depression after retiring, or the soldier that just can't handle the thought of one more deployment.

I can't say for sure what caused this girl to lose it, but I think it was something that was always in her. An abusive father or mother in her past. Who knows. I think a Dr talking to her for several months might get at it. She may be Bi-polar.


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## MrZartok (Jan 17, 2016)

Blue, you are examining this topic WAY too closely. A man is NEVER the victim of domestic abuse, only a fag is a victim. When a bitch gets out of line you smack the shit out of her. If she continues to act like a shit you throw her out. Any response less than this makes you less of a man. PERIOD.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## Cecilie1200 (Jan 17, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Cecilie1200 said:
> 
> 
> > Basic tasks?  Such as?
> ...



Why do you have the post you responded to credited to me?  I didn't ask, because I don't care.  At the point you talked about "discipline" as though you're her father and she's an idiot child, I lost interest in anything you have to say.


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## Anathema (Jan 17, 2016)

Cecilie1200 said:


> Why do you have the post you responded to credited to me?  I didn't ask, because I don't care.  At the point you talked about "discipline" as though you're her father and she's an idiot child, I lost interest in anything you have to say.



My apologies. I generally try to remove the "excess" posts when I reply,. Once in a while I remove either too many or not enough attributions. 

You stayed interested in my comments far longer than I have been interested in anything the women in this thread have said. Have a nice evening.


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## Ravi (Jan 17, 2016)

Anathema said:


> Cecilie1200 said:
> 
> 
> > Why do you have the post you responded to credited to me?  I didn't ask, because I don't care.  At the point you talked about "discipline" as though you're her father and she's an idiot child, I lost interest in anything you have to say.
> ...


She's into S&m. Just a heads up.


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## Anathema (Jan 17, 2016)

Ravi said:


> She's into S&m. Just a heads up.



That's nice. I'm into S&W, which trumps S&M.


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