# misuse a homophone in a sentence



## shart_attack

I preemptively apologize if you think I put this thread in the incorrect subforum, as this seems like the perfect place, to me.

Okay, so let's start the fun.

_I felt like God answered my prayers the day when the Chili miners were rescued._


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## waltky

Uncle Ferd says...

... dats how gays call each other...

... on dey's homophones.


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## shart_attack

waltky said:


> Uncle Ferd says...
> 
> ... dats how gays call each other...
> 
> ... on dey's homophones.





Pogo needs to get in on this thread's action. Right up his/ her alley, this.

Okay, moving along:

_The US penile system is a farce designed to enslave the poor._


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## shart_attack

_Wow, that honey right there is one seriously hot piece of tale._


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## shart_attack

_Did you know that John's banned will be playing at CBGB's next week?_


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## shart_attack

_I waited until high tied before I headed out to the beach._


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## shart_attack

_Ah, moor's the pity, sir._


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## shart_attack

_After that, I didn't see her for another weak._


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## shart_attack

_The ultimate affect of it showed that Jason was quite frail._


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## shart_attack

_They gave Bartholomew a shiny plaque for his having cleaned the chimney so well._


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## shart_attack

_Don't forget to go to the poles to vote tomorrow._


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## shart_attack

_Rachel was tired when she got home from the jim._


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## shart_attack

_We were both sitting over there when the tree eventually fail._


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## shart_attack

_Franklin had never been particularly fond of wearing a bough tie._


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## shart_attack

_When the building was finally raised, it became an open-air flea market._


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## shart_attack

_My dog has flees._


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## shart_attack

_They one the game on a pinch-hit single to center that drove in a run in the bottom of the ninth._


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## shart_attack

_Carol won't be at work today because she's at home, sick and bedridden with the Flew._


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## shart_attack

Two words, but for the sheer thrill of it all:

_I heard that Gertrude is being black maled for $50K._


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## shart_attack

_Tom laid the tile down on the table and started puncturing it with the all._


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## bodecea

shart_attack said:


> I preemptively apologize if you think I put this thread in the incorrect subforum, as this seems like the perfect place, to me.
> 
> Okay, so let's start the fun.
> 
> _I felt like God answered my prayers the day when the Chili miners were rescued._



Now you've done it...you've gone and totally confused Drop Out.


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## Pennywise

Helen's pi smells like fish.


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## Pennywise

The kid new his teacher had great tits.


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## Pennywise

Ornithology is not write for everyone.


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## Pennywise

My monkey fucked the dog next door, but didn't meat the owner.


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## Pennywise

Ginger ail.


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## Pennywise

Marie Osmond looks like a phish now.


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## Pennywise

Your not going their.


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## shart_attack

_Billy Bob and Elmer were up all night making moonshine in the steal._


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## Derideo_Te

They said that pigs would fly when a black man became president and sure enough, soon after the election, we had swine flu.


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## shart_attack

_The Tao Jones dropped another 12 points every hour that he was in office._


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## shart_attack

_Larry suddenly jerked the steering wheel and moved into the right lain._


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## shart_attack

_The freight car was loaded with four tons of flower._


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## Pogo

shart_attack said:


> I preemptively apologize if you think I put this thread in the incorrect subforum, as this seems like the perfect place, to me.
> 
> Okay, so let's start the fun.
> 
> _I felt like God answered my prayers the day when the Chili miners were rescued._



That's ware they come from?  

I'm a very fast typist from years of wrighting and editing - sometimes the hands jump ahead of the mind and while going for the word "one" I'll see the word "won" show up and no W even entered the mind.  Physical memory.


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## shart_attack

_Everyone had always said Joel was a pantywaste._


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## NLT

I dont phear yew


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## NLT

bodecea said:


> shart_attack said:
> 
> 
> 
> I preemptively apologize if you think I put this thread in the incorrect subforum, as this seems like the perfect place, to me.
> 
> Okay, so let's start the fun.
> 
> _I felt like God answered my prayers the day when the Chili miners were rescued._
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Now you've done it...you've gone and totally confused Drop Out.
Click to expand...


Hush Dike


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## shart_attack

NLT said:


> bodecea said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> shart_attack said:
> 
> 
> 
> I preemptively apologize if you think I put this thread in the incorrect subforum, as this seems like the perfect place, to me.
> 
> Okay, so let's start the fun.
> 
> _I felt like God answered my prayers the day when the Chili miners were rescued._
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Now you've done it...you've gone and totally confused Drop Out.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Hush Dike
Click to expand...


_Please don't take her bate, and take this game there._

_That is not what it is four._


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## shart_attack

Another combo, just for the sheer thrill of it all:

_Attire can be very dangerous when the tread is gone._


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## shart_attack

_A lot of space at one point in the race separated the tortoise and the hair._


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## shart_attack

_"So moat it be," they declared, before giving the secret handshake and adjourning._


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## shart_attack

_Just because you can carry an instrument doesn't mean you can carry a 'toon._


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## shart_attack

_Rasheed converted to Islam long before he ever bought his daughter her first CAIR Bear._


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## shart_attack

_You can sometimes buy spoiled milk from your local grosser._


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## Pogo

Authentically quoted from another thread:



> took in the car to get it inspected. Needs major repairs on the breaks.



New rule: make logical sense out of the error.  In this case his repair shop can only work during their lunch hour.


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## Derideo_Te

Let me by you a beer.


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## Pogo

Derideo_Te said:


> Let me by you a beer.



Otherwise punctuated --

"Let me by you!  A beer!!" 

- could be a whole sub thread called "Let's eat Grandma"
--- or the old standby, "eats shoots and leaves"....


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## shart_attack

_The plane truth of the matter was that the plain's wreckage was never discovered._


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## shart_attack

_Some people say it's not nice to bring a big lunch if you don't plan to Cher._


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## shart_attack

_Tom made an incorrect turn, and thus ended up going the wrong way on a one-way rode._


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## Mertex

Pogo said:


> shart_attack said:
> 
> 
> 
> I preemptively apologize if you think I put this thread in the incorrect subforum, as this seems like the perfect place, to me.
> 
> Okay, so let's start the fun.
> 
> _I felt like God answered my prayers the day when the Chili miners were rescued._
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That's ware they come from?
> 
> I'm a very fast typist from years of wrighting and editing - sometimes the hands jump ahead of the mind and *while going for the word "one" I'll see the word "won" show up* and no W even entered the mind.  Physical memory.
Click to expand...

I do that often.... that's why I always review my posts, to make sure I'm saying what I think I'm saying...


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## Mertex

Pogo said:


> Derideo_Te said:
> 
> 
> 
> Let me by you a beer.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Otherwise punctuated --
> 
> "Let me by you!  A beer!!"
> 
> - could be a whole sub thread called "Let's eat Grandma"
> --- or the old standby, "eats shoots and leaves"....
Click to expand...



Or "Let me buy."  "You, a beer!"


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## Pogo

shart_attack said:


> _Tom made an incorrect turn, and thus ended up going the wrong way on a one-way rode._



The one-way Rode:


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## Pogo

shart_attack said:


> _Some people say it's not nice to bring a big lunch if you don't plan to Cher._



Again, a simple comma translates to Louisianan:

"Some people say it's not nice to bring a big lunch if you don't plan to, Cher(e)"

-- of course _to_ needs a prior reference... e.g. "I'm not going to stay the whole afternoon".

Gertrude Stein must be amused...


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## shart_attack

_I eight at least ate bowls of guacamole before I was visited by a mean gang of sharts._


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## Pogo

Again a literal copy of a post in Politics:



> She made serious mistakes as secretary of state including Benghazi and defending Proco Harum


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## shart_attack

_Rasputin had the strange gifts of clairvoyancy and heeling people._


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## shart_attack

_Alexander reached the mountain's peek in just three days._


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## shart_attack

^ _I can't make any cents out of how he did it, though._ ^


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## shart_attack

_Terrence worked at the local meal for 20 years._


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## shart_attack

_He now refers to that time period as his "glory daze."_


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## shart_attack

_Let us prey that he is still okay._


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## shart_attack

_It's been reigning for four days strait now because of this storm._


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## shart_attack

_Penelope bought herself a brick of cheddar and a new cheese greater on Wednesday._


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## shart_attack

_Before that, she was fairly skinny: you should sea what she ways now._


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## shart_attack

_She probably looks like a beached well now._


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## shart_attack

_She's much, much more than just a shale of herself now._


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## shart_attack

_I invited her over for some tee the other day, but she said she couldn't make it._


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## shart_attack

_She said she wasn't aloud._


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## shart_attack

_I don't know what her dill is, really._


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## shart_attack

_I'm not sure I even know what she mint._


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## shart_attack

_It just sounds to me like she's in some kind of spiritual pane._


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## shart_attack

_She'll probably be okay, after she's had some wrest._


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## shart_attack

_She mist her chance to get some sleep yesterday because she watched some movie marathon on the SyFy Channel._


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## norwegen

This one should be aweful:

_The Offal smelled awful._


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## norwegen

_Of all the precedents we've had, the best for setting presidents were the 3rd, 4th, and 30th precedence._


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## Pogo

norwegen said:


> This one should be aweful:
> 
> _The Offal smelled awful._



As did the smelt offal...


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## shart_attack

HTML:
	






norwegen said:


> _Of all the precedents we've had, the best for setting presidents were the 3rd, 4th, and 30th precedence._



I remember when I learned about Coolidge in American History 101.

_I grew board with him pretty quickly, myself._


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## norwegen

shart_attack said:


> norwegen said:
> 
> 
> 
> _Of all the precedents we've had, the best for setting presidents were the 3rd, 4th, and 30th precedence._
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I remember when I learned about Coolidge in American History 101.
> 
> _I grew board with him pretty quickly, myself._
Click to expand...

He may halve been a boar, but Coolidge was a grate liter. Won of hour best.


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## Derideo_Te

Does your dog have flees? Does he lick his bawls? Does he shed his hare on the furniture? Does he barque at strangers?


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## shart_attack

_The kiddie "bounce house" got carried away in the vicious, sweeping wind because Beavis forgot to steak it._


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## Pennywise

shart_attack said:


> _The kiddie "bounce house" got carried away in the vicious, sweeping wind because Beavis forgot to steak it._



Goddman Beavis and his crew are threw!


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## shart_attack

_I hear he and Butthead changed jobs: they now lode trucks._


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## shart_attack

"_Most alcoholics are also drug attics_," Mama Shart once told me.


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## shart_attack

_Next week, he leaves town for a 30-day Cruz._


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## Moonglow

shart_attack said:


> I preemptively apologize if you think I put this thread in the incorrect subforum, as this seems like the perfect place, to me.
> 
> Okay, so let's start the fun.
> 
> _I felt like God answered my prayers the day when the Chili miners were rescued._



Did God give them crackers to go with their Chili?


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## shart_attack

_Some liberals are so myopic that it honestly makes me wonder if they've stared at the son too much._


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## shart_attack

_Furthermore, I honestly don't think that some of them have any common sense or principals._


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## shart_attack

"_I'm Nebraska corn fed and Kentucky bread_," the smokin' hot honey named Sherry said.


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## shart_attack

"_I'd sure love as little as five minutes to hit that_," the man in the throws of rejection said.


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## shart_attack

"_But you're never gonna get it_," the genteel Southern bell said.


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## shart_attack

_We haven't seen her since that hurricane four years ago all but obliterated our Caribbean aisle._


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## shart_attack

_Sylvester went to the bar to order a djinn and tonic._


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## shart_attack

_The mortician told his students that they would all have to urn their mortuary science degrees._


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## shart_attack

_Bet he ruse his having told them that, too._


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## shart_attack

_Shortly after Bert got a haircut, he got into a heated argument with a stranger on the highway and went to gel._


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## shart_attack

_When he finally got out, Bert pond his favorite gun so he could pay the bondsman._


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## shart_attack

_And because he couldn't afford taxi cab fair, he had to walk home._


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## shart_attack

_As soon as he walked into his home, he shot heroin into his favorite vain._


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## shart_attack

_All the wile, Persephone was in the bathtub._


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## shart_attack

_She was probably trying out her new bar of lie soap, Bert said._


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## shart_attack

_At any rate, when she finally got out of the tub, she was soaking whet._


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## shart_attack

_And because she had a flare for the dramatic, Persephone then asked Bert what had happened to their car._


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## shart_attack

_And Bert told her that their car had been toad downtown._


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## shart_attack

_If you look over there where the cattle grays, you can see a weeping willow tree._


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## shart_attack

_Directly underneath it sits a wild bore._


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## shart_attack

_And look &#8212; over there, in the woods! Some dear!_


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## shart_attack

_And one of them must be a mother, because here comes a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed dough!_


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## shart_attack

_I don't know if I've ever scene so many wild animals!_


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## shart_attack

_And the peace and serenity here is nothing like the violence and den of the city._


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## shart_attack

_Over there is the heal that Jack and Jill went up to fetch a pale of water._


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## shart_attack

_My, aren't Jack and Jill a pear?_


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## shart_attack

_They sure do Rome around in their bare feet a lot, those two._


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## shart_attack

_Phineas wanted a copy of the paper so he could tare out the coupons._


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## Pennywise

shart_attack said:


> _Directly underneath it sits a *wild bore*._



USMB is lousy with them and you no it.


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## shart_attack

_On the paper's front page was a story about a vicious storm that blue down a house._


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## shart_attack

Pennywise said:


> shart_attack said:
> 
> 
> 
> _Directly underneath it sits a *wild bore*._
> 
> 
> 
> 
> USMB is lousy with them and you no it.
Click to expand...


_No joke, bro. I guess it's their First Amendment rite, though._


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## shart_attack

_Some lede by following, but others by example._


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## shart_attack

_Some would rather not be lead anywhere to which they can't go on their own._


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## shart_attack

_I guess those are the ones who will dye with their boots on, so to speak._


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## shart_attack

_They will probably never 'Neal before Zod," those types._


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## shart_attack

_The Arabian chic was surrounded by beautiful women._


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## shart_attack

_Despite his wealth, he keeps most of his money in a small box made of an alloy of brass and ten._


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## shart_attack

_And when the women get camel tows, he sends them back home._


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## shart_attack

_Do they hate being used by the sheikh for his sexual amusement, for his shear pleasure?_


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## shart_attack

_Of coarse they do, yes. But they don't wine about it._


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## shart_attack

_They will likely write Pulitzer prize-winning autobiographies about the horrors through which they went in due thyme._


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## shart_attack

_Lena said was tired of sailing down the Tim's with her folks every morning after breakfast._


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## shart_attack

_She would have much preferred instead to have been sailing down the Roan with her man Friedrich en route to Avignon._


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## shart_attack

_Once when they were there, they thought they had found the Wholly Grail._


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## shart_attack

_As it turned out, however, it was merely an insignificant plastic vile._


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## shart_attack

_Both Lena and Friedrich rote about the experience in their memoirs._


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## shart_attack

_Wood you have done the same thing, if you were one of them?_


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## shart_attack

_Or would you have assumed a different roll in the ordeal?_


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## shart_attack

_Careful with that flame, son! You'll seer your hand!_


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## shart_attack

_You'll lose your job in the steal mill!_


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## shart_attack

_And eventually, those lowlifes at the bank will put a lean on your house!_


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## shart_attack

_Male your payment to the bank now, just in case you have to rescind it._


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## shart_attack

_The morning do gently bristled the tree's leaves as Lancelot casually strolled to the maze._


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## shart_attack

_He eventually got threw it, and was at the dragon's layer._


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## shart_attack

_I don't know how he did it. I guess he was able to reach inside himself, and summon the wheel._


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## shart_attack

_It's just what we have to dew sometimes win we can't see the light at the end of the tunnel._


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## shart_attack

_That's also why we should drink hole milk, to keep our bones strong for the long run._


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## shart_attack

_They're having a clearance sail at the suit shop today._


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## shart_attack

_But hurry: you won't make it in time if you just sit there, idol._


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## shart_attack

_The wildebeest sat there, chewing its could._


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## shart_attack

_Meanwhile, the lion lie beneath the acacia tree, seemingly content that the wind was gently caressing its main._


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## shart_attack

_All of a sudden, a wild hoarse came from nowhere, and thundered past the lion._


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## shart_attack

_Franklin caught it all on camera, and then grabbed his Smartphone so he could put it on his sight._


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## shart_attack

_That kid Franklin, he loves those animals so much: I think his sole belongs to Africa._


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## shart_attack

_It's probably safe to say that he'd be a shoe-in to lead the Peace Corps some day._


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## HenryBHough

The tycoon made his money selling four-in-hands in Harlem.


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## shart_attack

_And the tycoon's favorite novel? Why, "The Catcher in the Wry", of course!_


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## Bill Angel

waltky said:


> Uncle Ferd says...
> 
> ... dats how gays call each other...
> 
> ... on dey's homophones.


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## shart_attack

_More often than not, folks who aren't contributing to this thread by following its syllabus show up at knight &#8212; not during the day._


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## shart_attack

_Before they left, they reminded us to "keep our eyes on the pries"._


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## shart_attack

_They used to travel on Route 66, but this year, they took a different root from Joplin to Los Angeles._


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## shart_attack

_Franklin said that wants, they actually drove an extra 500 miles to get there because of tourist traps at which they stopped._


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## shart_attack

_To make matters worse, they witnessed a 50-car pile-up on that trip &#8212; a grizzly seen, Franklin said._


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## shart_attack

_Oh, by the way, there are also a lot of grisly bares on that root to L.A._


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## shart_attack

_Sometimes, Franklin said, they catch you by surprise when you stop at the outlet maul._


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## Pennywise

Cletus didn't let his fourskin get in the way of a good time.


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## shart_attack

_That's what Franklin said, yeah. I think he was lion, though._


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## Pennywise

shart_attack said:


> _To make matters worse, they witnessed a 50-car pile-up on that trip  a grizzly seen, Franklin said._



Franklin lost his knife, but his wheelchair didn't brake.


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## shart_attack

Pennywise said:


> Cletus didn't let his fourskin get in the way of a good time.



_I just hope he told those hot scantily-clad honeys not to byte._


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## Pennywise

Kirk and Pam went to the swimmin' hole, but it was as dry as the dessert.


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## shart_attack

Pennywise said:


> shart_attack said:
> 
> 
> 
> _To make matters worse, they witnessed a 50-car pile-up on that trip  a grizzly seen, Franklin said._
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Franklin lost his knife, but his wheelchair didn't brake.
Click to expand...


_For the shear thrill of it all, he should take his wheelchair for a spin down one of the hills in San Francisco's Hate-Ashbury district._


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## Pennywise

shart_attack said:


> Pennywise said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> shart_attack said:
> 
> 
> 
> _To make matters worse, they witnessed a 50-car pile-up on that trip  a grizzly seen, Franklin said._
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Franklin lost his knife, but his wheelchair didn't brake.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> _For the shear thrill of it all, he should take his wheelchair for a spin down one of the hills in San Francisco's Hate-Ashbury district._
Click to expand...


Charlie Manson didn't live at Spawn Ranch for very long.


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## shart_attack

Pennywise said:


> shart_attack said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pennywise said:
> 
> 
> 
> Franklin lost his knife, but his wheelchair didn't brake.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _For the shear thrill of it all, he should take his wheelchair for a spin down one of the hills in San Francisco's Hate-Ashbury district._
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> Charlie Manson didn't live at Spawn Ranch for very long.
Click to expand...


_Seems like he got a swastika tattooed on his forehead, and started a Haight group, didn't he?_


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## Pennywise

shart_attack said:


> Pennywise said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> shart_attack said:
> 
> 
> 
> _For the shear thrill of it all, he should take his wheelchair for a spin down one of the hills in San Francisco's Hate-Ashbury district._
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Charlie Manson didn't live at Spawn Ranch for very long.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> _Seems like he got a swastika tattooed on his forehead, and started a Haight group, didn't he?_
Click to expand...


The bass turd.


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## shart_attack

Pennywise said:


> shart_attack said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pennywise said:
> 
> 
> 
> Charlie Manson didn't live at Spawn Ranch for very long.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> _Seems like he got a swastika tattooed on his forehead, and started a Haight group, didn't he?_
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> The bass turd.
Click to expand...


_Whale, if some honey once to meat him, she's certainly going to have to weight a wile._


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## shart_attack

_Heck, nowadays, it's probably easier to meet that lowlife on the California Department of Correction's official sight._


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## shart_attack

_But if I were some hottie and that skuzzbag wrote me, I don't think I'd dane even to reply._


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## shart_attack

_The best way to break into a house is to use a crow bar, which prize open the door._


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## shart_attack

_Even if one has a deeply-seated fear of the Vikings of yore, he has to concede at least that the Deigns make some pretty good sweet rolls and heavy-metal drummers._


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## shart_attack

_She cracked three eggs and threw them and the chicken into the friar._


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## shart_attack

_We didn't see anything unusual about Carolyn's wanting to suit up in full pads and play tackle football with us because truth be told, we had always seen her as one of the guise._


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## shart_attack

_As soon as Thomas finished spraying the weeds with Round-Up, he planted the tomato cedes in the garden._


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## shart_attack

_Both Beavis and Butthead were loners who weren't especially partial to any of the high school clicks._


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## shart_attack

_Instead of going to school, they both preferred to sit at home, watch music videos and play their Nintendo Wee._


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## shart_attack

_In the passed, however, they had both been friends with my cousin Spee &#8212; who, like them, was also a high school flunky._


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## shart_attack

_While everyone else was acing basic math and geology, those three&#8212;Beavis, Butthead and my cousin Spee&#8212;were getting seize and Ds._


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## shart_attack

_Even so, they were all three fairly well-red: their favorite book was Darwin's "The Origin of Spee's Cees"._


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## Pennywise

School is four losers.


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## shart_attack

_That's what they said, yeah. But they gnu how to pass chemistry, at least: by copying my other cousin Cheryl's work.

Her dad was a bootlegger.

All three of them intentionally sat right be cider._


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## shart_attack

_I reckon some folks like moonshine, but most people I know prefer to pop peels._


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## shart_attack

_Honestly, I guess I'm glad that in America, we all have the right to chews our favorite poisons._


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## Pennywise

We have that write now, but knock on would we keep it.


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## Mr. H.

_Rdean is home alone with his homophone. _


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## shart_attack

Pennywise said:


> We have that write now, but knock on would we keep it.



_I'm knot sure why, but for some reason I remain fairly confident that wheel keep it &#8212; no matter who the next air to the US presidential throne is._


----------



## shart_attack

_But I have no doubt whatsoever that we can all agree that politicians are full of hot heir._


----------



## shart_attack

"_For all have send, and come short of the glory of God_," the preacher exclaimed, quoting Romans 3:23.


----------



## norwegen

_My gay friend called me the other day on his homo phone._


----------



## shart_attack

_My cousin Billy&#8212;who had pride open the door to the church with a crow bar the weak prior&#8212;squirmed and sweated on the church pugh as the preacher said it._


----------



## shart_attack

_Billy had been on the lamb from the law for a few weeks._


----------



## shart_attack

_He had been living in an abandoned house in the woulds, and had been catching and eating armadillos and wild sheep and lams for sustenance._


----------



## shart_attack

_The process had drastically reduced his white blood sell count, making him look deathly pail._


----------



## shart_attack

So even though I didn't really knead to, I went ahead and asked him at church that day, "_Cuz, how do you fill?_"


----------



## shart_attack

"_I Phil great_," he said, ryely.


----------



## shart_attack

_He added that he was done eating armadillos, and from that point on, would be catching fish in a local pawned._


----------



## shart_attack

_Ever sense he was a lad, William Inge knew he was destined to be a night in the king's court._


----------



## shart_attack

_To bee certain, that was the universal dream of all buoys growing up in Whales._


----------



## shart_attack

_Some days, syringe would lone one of his swords to a friend, so the two of them could practice defending the king._


----------



## shart_attack

_And other days, Sir Inge would walk a loan to the Chapel to see his friend, Fryer Thomas._


----------



## shart_attack

_Sometimes during the summer when the temperature was scorchingly haught, Sir Inge preferred to do nothing but sit under a shade tree._


----------



## shart_attack

_And of course, there were plenty of those in the huge maize of hedgerows which led to the king's castle._


----------



## shart_attack

_Once, Sir Inge brought along his favorite liar that he had just re-stringed for the walk through the maze, and wrote anode to the king in the key of A miner._


----------



## shart_attack

_The king loved the ode to him which Sir Inge had written so much that he through a party and got him drunk on a hearty blend of Mede._


----------



## shart_attack

"_You have demonstrated attacked since of honor toward this throne_," the king declared.


----------



## shart_attack

_When the party was over, Sir Inge left the castle and headed back to his cottage, stopping once forest again in the maze._


----------



## shart_attack

_Just beyond the maze, he could see the bloody battlefield where thousands of Saxons and Welsh had ward and dyed in prior centuries._


----------



## shart_attack

_But Sir Inge wood never make it to the battlefield, as he was bitten by a wild dog upon exiting the maze._


----------



## shart_attack

_His body would frees there at the maze's edge, where it lie decomposing into deep winter._


----------



## shart_attack

_It was not a pretty site, seeing the wrought &#8212; the maggots, and the smell and whatnot._


----------



## shart_attack

_Our Western Sieve 101 professor told us the tragic story of Sir Inge three weeks into the fall semester._


----------



## HenryBHough

Archibald and his wife were visiting Moscow in the old Intourist-travel-only days.  They could go only where their communist party guide, Rudolph, took them.

Whist walking on a cold day it started to precipitate.

Archie said "*Damn snow!*"

Wife corrected:  "No, it's *rain*.

"Snow!"

"Rain"

*"Snow!"

"Rain"*

Stalemate!

So they agreed they'd have to ask the Intourist guide because, after all, as wifey said:  

*"Rudolph, the red, knows rain, dear."*


----------



## shart_attack

"_For the love of money is the route of all evil_," the preacher exclaimed, quoting I Timothy 6:10.


----------



## shart_attack

_He was a firm believer that everything bad in the world&#8212;terror, death, destruction, to name a few&#8212;were rot by money; that the end results of the pursuits of it did not lead to happiness._


----------



## shart_attack

_Those who put the love of it over the love of their fellow man have no interest in world piece, he said._


----------



## shart_attack

_And this love of money, he said, was something not indigenous to grown-ups: even sum of the youngest among us&#8212;the smallest little taught screaming in the nursery&#8212;were guilty of pursuing it and its woes._


----------



## shart_attack

_It was this love of money, he screamed, that compelled his one-time best friend to put accrue together dedicated to robin people through insurance scams._


----------



## shart_attack

But he gave us hope, adding that, "_For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not parish, but have everlasting life_."


----------



## shart_attack

_And on that note, the megachurch's football teem exited the building and boarded the private jet bound for Hollywood._


----------



## shart_attack

_In some weighs, a garden hoes is like an electric guitar cord._


----------



## shart_attack

_The most glaring, obvious difference is that the hose is a conduit for water, while the guitar chord is a conduit between the guitar and an amplifier._


----------



## HenryBHough

This thread is dyeing; it's positively turning blew!


----------



## shart_attack

_Nah, it ain't dyin', man: we're just now approaching the ninth whole out of 18 on the coarse._


----------



## shart_attack

_Francisco had been traveling to the North Poll with his mother cents he had ben a wie little taught._


----------



## shart_attack

_No small feet, given that they had had to climb many a heel and veil to get there, upon having hit land._


----------



## shart_attack

_And sometimes, the walks across the snow war holes in both their shoos._


----------



## shart_attack

_Mother always wore boots and a suit for the walk, and hirsute was usually a hew of deep blew._


----------



## shart_attack

_Just in case they bumped into a polar bare, mother would always pack a pistil._


----------



## shart_attack

_Wants, when they hit land, she even dropped a lode of flyers to announce they're arrival._


----------



## shart_attack

_She dropped them as soon as they docked at the peer._


----------



## DriftingSand

waltky said:


> Uncle Ferd says...
> 
> ... dats how gays call each other...
> 
> ... on dey's homophones.



LOL. Brought tears.


----------



## shart_attack

DriftingSand said:


> waltky said:
> 
> 
> 
> Uncle Ferd says...
> 
> ... dats how gays call each other...
> 
> ... on dey's homophones.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> LOL. Brought tears.
Click to expand...


(_I hafta admit that it brought a tier to my eyes, too._ )


----------



## shart_attack

_After Francisco and his mother, Renata, tied their boat with a sailor's not to the pier, they noticed a strange fence with a gait._


----------



## shart_attack

_They opened the gate, and out of nowhere, a pack of wild dogs&#8212;all of them sporting razor-sharp clause, and frothing at the mouth&#8212;came violently running toward them._


----------



## shart_attack

"_It sure would have been nice if the owner of those lowlifes had had them spade_," Renata whispered to Francisco.


----------



## shart_attack

_Because Renata couldn't find her pistol, she grabbed her pickaxe, and Francisco grabbed his iron spayed._


----------



## shart_attack

_The spayed served duel purposes: Francisco had always used it to break ice so Renata and he could fish, and it was also a weapon per say._


----------



## shart_attack

_They threateningly waived the tools at the vicious wild dogs, but it was too lait: one of them somehow managed to take a byte out of Francisco's rite leg._


----------



## shart_attack

When the dogs eventually ran off, Renata looked down at Francisco and said, "_Son, wise your right leg red?_"


----------



## shart_attack

_There was so much blood on the leg, she knew they'd have to put all kinds of first-aide chemicals on it, and bariate in bandages._


----------



## shart_attack

_But because bandages were in such short supply, they simply patched up the wound temporarily with ducked tape._


----------



## boedicca

Obama spends to much time hitting the Golf Lynx.


----------



## Pennywise

Renata new her taco was no longer fresh, but her hearty bosom still had an affect on the gringos.


----------



## shart_attack

lol: at you two; _awesome_.)

_When the bite was patched up, the two of them set up their separate tense in which they'd be sleeping later._


----------



## boedicca

Michelle sheiks her booty.


----------



## shart_attack

_Then they got a good fire going, and cooked stakes, Polish sausages and a brought._


----------



## shart_attack

_When they were done eating, they lei down and called it a day._


----------



## shart_attack

_Both of them were past out in a few minutes._


----------



## Pennywise

Mr Terwilliger said, "Your know genius, Helen", in response to Helen's claim that Mr Terwilliger was unfit to teach English to the border jumping chilrens that Nancy Pelosi referred to as an opportunity.


----------



## HenryBHough

That's just one more fly in the oink mint!


----------



## Toro

[MENTION=18755]mal[/MENTION] ain't got no game.



Oh, wait.  Did you say _homophone_?

I thought you said _homophobe_!


----------



## shart_attack

_It's somewhat annoying that some posters on this thread obviously don't want to follow its modus operandi and use a homophone in a sentence, but I'm not gonna let it ruin my whirled._


----------



## shart_attack

_I think I'll just pore myself a Scotch, and listen to some blues._


----------



## shart_attack

_I had a chance to see Robert Craze band a few months back._


----------



## Ropey

Are you from the Bay boy, or the Peer my Deer?

The Bay 






The Peer






My Deer


----------



## HenryBHough

Whiled horses couldn't make me bring up W.C. Fields intentional homophones:

Mahatma Kane Jeeves!

Go figger that one out!


----------



## HenryBHough

Who mite have guest that one day Obama might be cot telling a truth!


----------



## Indofred

The IDF always prey.


----------



## emilynghiem

I have a "malapropism" to throw in for fun:

Too bad we can't debate gay marriage without someone getting called a homophone!


----------



## Pennywise

Once Gillian sat on my face, I could no longer here Molly Hatchet through the high fi.


----------



## Toro

Your going to love the 4F this week!


----------



## emilynghiem

shart_attack said:


> lol: at you two; _awesome_.)
> 
> _When the bite was patched up, the two of them set up their separate tense in which they'd be sleeping later._



I got my fractions wrong and failed my math test because I was two tenths.


----------



## emilynghiem

Pennywise said:


> Once Gillian sat on my face, I could no longer here Molly Hatchet through the high fi.



I'd hate to see what you had to go through to get your "wife-high"!

^ Sorry I blue that with a ban pun -- guess I should have red the rules first! ^


----------



## emilynghiem

Ropey said:


> Are you from the Bay boy, or the Peer my Deer?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The Peer



That's not a Peer ^ that's a Dike!


----------



## emilynghiem

shart_attack said:


> _It's somewhat annoying that some posters on this thread obviously don't want to follow its modus operandi and use a homophone in a sentence, but I'm not gonna let it ruin my whirled._



Maybe they couldn't figure out the rules, or how to look up words in the search injun.


----------



## shart_attack

Sherilyn was about to run to Costco to get some last-minute items for her sea cruise with her favorite porn stars when Dick rolled by the stairs to her condo on the golf cart and shouted up at her, "_So, honey, have you got your shit pact yet?_"


----------



## Ropey

emilynghiem said:


> Ropey said:
> 
> 
> 
> Are you from the Bay boy, or the Peer my Deer?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The Peer
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That's not a Peer ^ that's a Dike!
Click to expand...


That's the bay, bai.  






This is a pier.


----------



## shart_attack

_As soon as mother finished reading the story The Princess and the Pee to young Penelope, they would both hit the sack and catch some Zs._


----------



## emilynghiem

shart_attack said:


> _As soon as mother finished reading the story The Princess and the Pee to young Penelope, they would both hit the sack and catch some Zs._



Obama lost interest in the Tee Party when he found out it wasn't for golfers.
Now he wants nothing to do with the Religious Rite or anything they worship as holey.


----------



## HenryBHough

Will The Pentagon _neve_r wage war on waist?

Wart a silly idea!


----------



## Toro

Make sure ewe drop by the Frivolous Friday Flame Fest on Friday!


----------



## emilynghiem

Sorry, bad joke! Eye should bee tried and hung buy a jury of my own piers!
===========================================
P.S. Here's a similar style called "Anguish Languish" the inventor
used to retell "Little Red Riding Hood" as "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut" --

Anguish Languish - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

It's knot exact use homophones; for example "trite" could be used four "tried."
==================================================


Ropey said:


> emilynghiem said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Ropey said:
> 
> 
> 
> Are you from the Bay boy, or the Peer my Deer?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> The Peer
> 
> 
> 
> 
> That's not a Peer ^ that's a Dike!
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> That's the bay, bai.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> This is a pier.
Click to expand...


----------



## HenryBHough

A loto people still don't think Karl Young was much of a cycle analist especially after seeing the movie "One Flue Overt da Cuckold's Nest.


----------



## Toro

The 4F will be to good to miss this week!


----------



## shart_attack

Thomas stopped watching Larry, Mow and Curly Joe_The Three Stooges_, his favorite showbecause he knew it was time to go moe the lawn.


----------



## shart_attack

_It was so humid that day that he thought he'd croak, but somehow he managed, and tuft it out._


----------



## shart_attack

_He said he had a lot trouble telling the difference between the natural Bermuda grass and the sawed, though._


----------



## shart_attack

_Eventually, when the lawn had been moan, he went inside for a drink._


----------



## emilynghiem

shart_attack said:


> Thomas stopped watching Larry, Mow and Curly Joe_The Three Stooges_, his favorite showbecause he knew it was time to go moe the lawn.



My favorite growing up was Superman -- Truth, Justice, and the American Weigh.


----------



## shart_attack

_I'm guessing Thomas was glad he got the yard mode before the rein hit._


----------



## shart_attack

_Some of the weeds had groan so unbelievably high in just one week._


----------



## shart_attack

_Let me tell you the story of Tom and Dick: two guise who tried to whew the same honey._


----------



## shart_attack

_Tom loved Abigaile so much, he once went to Russia, and sent her back a rare lenin for her bed._


----------



## shart_attack

_But see, Dick loved her, too &#8212; so much so that he usually sent her a yellow rows in a new vase every Friday._


----------



## shart_attack

_Tom loved to run his hands up and down (well, mostly up) Abigaile's legs, and gently through a toughed or three of her hair._


----------



## shart_attack

_Dick loved to sing songs he rote for her; and Abigaile especially loved it when he rift out on his guitar._


----------



## shart_attack

_Thomas thought no other man could make her mown like he could._


----------



## shart_attack

_Dick thought their love was ablaze with wild senders._


----------



## shart_attack

_Truth be told, they both tragically aired in their thinking of their relationships with Abigaile like that._


----------



## shart_attack

_The fine lennon that Tom had sent Abby from Russia?_


----------



## shart_attack

_For whatever the reason(s), it came back, marked in capital letters "RETURN TO CINDER"._


----------



## shart_attack

_And he was so obsessed with Abby, was Tom, that he couldn't just shutter out of his life._


----------



## shart_attack

_Even though, yeah, he did know something between them was certainly a fowl._


----------



## shart_attack

_Long story short, Tom eventually found out where Dick lived, and went to visit him with a sod-off shotgun._


----------



## shart_attack

_Dick is now dead, and Tom is doing 45 years hard thyme up the river._


----------



## shart_attack

_Abigaile is now a Serious radio DJ, and has on occasion told the sad story on the err._


----------



## manifold

shart_attack's creative righting skills could ewes a little work.


----------



## Ropey

the tail was told with a post so bold


----------



## shart_attack

_I'm not the least bit suede by the tail told by this ferry "manifold".

He doesn't make me laugh.

He doesn't use a vow well.

And most of his posts are pretty Sikh._


----------



## Big Black Dog

misuse a homophone in a sentence

Whenever I am away and want to talk to the wife I find the nearest "homophone" and dial her number.


----------



## emilynghiem

Life is like a game of chess: when in doubt, move a-pawn.

("ba-dum-TSH" / insert drum kick)


----------



## HenryBHough

The iron tongue of midnight hath told twelve.


----------



## manifold

shart's male box is always filled with junk.


----------



## Ropey

Toro and Manifold lost the interwebs due to hi daving.


----------



## BobPlumb

Aye ooze home a phones awe thee thyme.


----------



## HenryBHough

She blew her whole refund check buying a fancy saddle in the tax shop.


----------



## Ropey

I blue a heal in my shoe...


...while doing the old soft shew.


----------



## emilynghiem

I better tern my knows the otter way
before I sneeze atchoooooo!


----------



## BobPlumb

A bomb and a bull snow man!


----------



## emilynghiem

BobPlumb said:


> A bomb and a bull snow man!



Walking through the jungle, I almost stepped on a land mind.
I'm lucky to be in one peace!


----------



## shart_attack

_Dick and Jane had sects together for the first time when they were both 19._


----------



## shart_attack

_Though they had tried to wait until they were 22, they ultimately didn't have the patients._


----------



## shart_attack

_Though they lived way out in the Styx, they—being ever the adventurous pare—wanted to break each other in elsewhere, far from home._


----------



## shart_attack

_So they jumped into the truck, and headed to the state capital building._


----------



## shart_attack

_Dick drove with the petal to the medal, so they could get there as quickly as possible._


----------



## Tresha91203

True story, but you have to listen for the accent:  My grandmother, an educated Navy nurse, thought "all," "awl," and "oil" were homophones. It is a central La accent. Up on Trout Creek, I suppose they are homophones.


----------



## shart_attack

_A farmer's daughter, Jane loved Dick's fast machine. One might say that it was a bit of a cattle list for her pent-up sexual angst._


----------



## shart_attack

_At any rate, Dick had herd that the steppes of the state capitol building were a great place to have really nasty sex._


----------



## shart_attack

"_Yule love the rush that you get from doing it there_," Dick's friend Dane had told him more than a few times.


----------



## shart_attack

_So imagine the surprise on both both Dick and Jane's faces when some of the governor's AIDS ran onto the capital steps to stop them as soon as the couple began to disrobe._


----------



## emilynghiem

There's nothing like ebola chicken soup to cure the common cold.
Oops, was that a pun instead of a homophone?
Zori! Sari?
Didn't mean to tacks your patients?


----------



## Delta4Embassy

shart_attack said:


> I preemptively apologize if you think I put this thread in the incorrect subforum, as this seems like the perfect place, to me.
> 
> Okay, so let's start the fun.
> 
> _I felt like God answered my prayers the day when the Chili miners were rescued._



Can see your point about forum, but the word games are all about words too. So this forum is about writing, but the other's about writing AND games using writing so that group is twice as appropriate as this one.  That said,

British people are plagued by the Oedipal Complex calling every woman Mom.


----------



## Statistikhengst

We holed these truths two be self-evident.


----------



## Delta4Embassy

Two often, to many people misuse simple words too make their points.


----------



## Statistikhengst

It was won loan shooter.


----------



## HenryBHough

Nothing wrong with Eddy Pus Wrecks!  He was just a nice bouy who loved his mother.


----------



## Tresha91203

Is that from "Morning Becomes Elektra?"


----------



## HenryBHough

So the Greek fella in the tailor shop questioned a rent garment in for repair:

"Euripedes?"

And the customer replies:

"Yeah, eumenides"?


----------



## shart_attack

I remember the first time I saw Prints in concert way back in 1984. It rocked.


----------



## shart_attack

We tried to tell Francisca that the oboe is a tough instrument to play because it's a read, but she insisted that she wanted to play it anyway.


----------



## emilynghiem

"He offered his honor.
She honored his offer.
And all night long, 
he was honor  and offer!"

-- old joke, not really a homophone
because the puns are in two words
not one, sorry. Me a culpa times too!
^ okay, so there's a homophone ^


----------



## TyroneSlothrop

I am not sure weather or not to participate in this thread....


----------

