# Vacation Rental Math



## DGS49

I am in the process of looking for someplace in Florida to spend a couple weeks in February.  We do this every year, and try to find someplace "else" every year, to enhance our variety.  The northernmost latitude I would want to visit is Tampa/Orlando, since above that the chances of mediocre weather are pretty high.

There are three major sites for looking, VRBO, Vacations to Go, and AirBnB.  But there is another site that seems to gather all three for your shopping convenience.

One of the "Filters" is, How much do you want to pay?  It is measured in $/night, generally.  So you say, $100-$210 dollars per night and SEARCH.

The little pictures and descriptions come up, usually with an interactive map that shows you where they are.  Each one has an indication in Dollars Per Night, and in ALL CASES, that number is WRONG.  Sometimes stunningly so.  It seems that there are taxes, fees, deposits, cleaning charges, agency charges, and who knows what else(?), and it appears that with all of the computer power we have at our fingertips, IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO ADD ALL THE FCUKING FEES, DO THE DIVISION, AND GIVE YOU AN ACTUAL COST PER NIGHT.  So you find yourself "clicking" on a "property" that lists for $150/night, only to find that a fourteen-night stay will cost FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS(!), plus a $400 security deposit, which will be refunded before the start of the next Ice Age, if you are lucky.  (You can bequeath that expectancy to your heirs, I suppose).

According to my gazintifier, 14 nights for $5,000 is $357 per night not $150.

This is not unlike the infamous "Resort Fees" that rental properties spring on unsuspecting guests as they arrive, road-weary and grumpy at one o'clock in the morning.  

A pox on the bastards.  At least in the case of the rental rates, you can get the full information before you book, but it's still deceptive.  Resort Fees, you have to be aware enough to ask in advance to avoid the SURPRISE(!).


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## Disir

I use VRBO and haven't run into any issues. What site is the one that combines them all and sucks?


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## DGS49

Checking back, I ended up renting a house in Cape Coral for two weeks, through VRBO, from a German guy.  Reasonable cost, minimal fees, no bullshit.

Of course, I haven't seen the place yet...


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## DGS49

Place is great.  No problems.  What is it with Germans around here?  Germans own this house, run the property management business, own many local businesses.  I don't know what the connection is, but there are germans all over the place here.

And I don't mean ethnic Germans.  I mean Germans from Deutchland, speaking Deutch.


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## DGS49

Comments on Cape Coral (this time of year).

There are some downsides to being down in Florida this time of year.  I've heard locals complaining about it for years, but never really paid attention because I've been "part of the problem."

Getting around in the urban and resort-ish areas is a real pain in the ass this time of year.

With a population that is exploded with old bastards like me, the roads are very crowded at almost all times.  Adding to that, for some reason the traffic light cycles are much longer in Florida than what I'm used to.  Most significant intersections go through a many-step cycle...first comes left-turning lanes headed south, then thru lanes heading south, then lanes heading north, then left turning lanes heading north, then same thing for east and west.  Jesus.  It seems to take forever.

And because the cycle is so long, there are invariably some people in line who are - let's just say - inattentive, and don't move out smartly when the light turns green.  So rather than a dozen cars getting through the intersection, 6 or 8 make it.  It is almost as bad as Los Angeles.  If you are going anywhere mid-day, you have to double the expected transit time from what would be normal, even though the condition of the roads is near perfect.

And since there's not a hell of a lot to do in Cape Coral, we were always going someplace else to do something, and we wasted a couple hours a day in pointless traffic delays.  If you just go to sit on the beach or around the pool, I don't reckon you would notice this as much, but if you are trying to travel around it is a bother.


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