# Obami Salaami Jokes by Comedians



## gautama (Jun 2, 2011)

Some Obami Salaami Jokes I received recently:

 The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree . . . and think 25 
to life would be appropriate.  Leno 

 America  needs Obama-Care  like  Nancy Pelosi  needs a Halloween  mask. 
Leno 

 Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? 

A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. 
Conan O'Brien 


 Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? 

 A: A fund raiser.  Leno 


Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? 

 A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. 
The other is for housing prisoners.  Letterman 


 Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of  the ocean 
and it started to sink, who would be saved? 

 A:    America !  Fallon 


 Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo? 

 A: Bo has papers.  Kimmel 


 Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program? 

 A: It took 95% of the Obama  bumper stickers  off the road.  Letterman

Accurate comment: 

These are hillarious, but then again sad, because it is the truth....


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## bodecea (Jun 2, 2011)

Wait....I thought comedians were leaving Obama alone......????


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## American Cowboy (Jun 2, 2011)

Are they jokes? They sound like facts to me.


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## gautama (Jun 2, 2011)

bodecea said:


> Wait....I thought comedians were leaving Obama alone......????



B.O.....DUH....C'ya,

Comedians are overwhelmingly LIEberrhoids........but, even they can't resist overcoming their mental aberration and stating the TRUTH.


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## PLYMCO_PILGRIM (Jun 2, 2011)

http://www.usmessageboard.com/humor/169865-dear-president-obama.html

Dear President Obama,

I am writing today with a somewhat unusual request. First and foremost, I will be asking that you return the United States to its August 20th, 1959 borders so that Hawaii is no longer a state and you are no longer a citizen.

Sincerely,
Benjamin Netanyahu
Prime Minister of Israel


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

Spreading internet lies again?

How about you find just one clip of the comedians you attribute to these jokes..and put it up.


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## PLYMCO_PILGRIM (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


> Spreading internet lies again?
> 
> How about you find just one clip of the comedians you attribute to these jokes..and put it up.



[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZQm9GDIQ0o]YouTube - &#x202a;Jay Leno Jokes About Obama&#39;s Cash for Flunkers&#x202c;&rlm;[/ame]
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTI6ttK4Z20&feature=related]YouTube - &#x202a;Jay Leno Stimulus Package Joke&#x202c;&rlm;[/ame]
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59t2JT75QqY]YouTube - &#x202a;[/ame]


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## rightwinger (Jun 2, 2011)

None of these are by the comedians cited

Just shows how juvenile Republican humor actually is


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## gautama (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


> Spreading internet lies again?
> 
> How about you find just one clip of the comedians you attribute to these jokes..and put it up.



Callow Sallow,

I'm not going to waste my time searching for the NUMEROUS clips confirming their existence.

Plymco Pilgrim produced some clips reflecting humour regarding the semi Black MONUMENTAL FRAUD by LENO. 

As stated, I don't have the time to do a follow up and see if any of these include the ones I posted w/r/t Leno,  but as far as I'm concerned your point is full of shit.

Go drown yourself in the nearest toilet bowl you insignificant LIEberrhoidal fart.


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## gautama (Jun 2, 2011)

rightwinger said:


> None of these are by the comedians cited
> 
> Just shows how juvenile Republican humor actually is



BogusWanker,

Check out my post to that other LIEberrhoidal moron, Callow Sallow.

It applies equally to you.


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## rightwinger (Jun 2, 2011)

gautama said:


> rightwinger said:
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It just shows that you believe any bullshit that shows up in your email inbox

Gulibility is one of your strong points


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## High_Gravity (Jun 2, 2011)

Gautama you have Obama on the brain, hard. Seek help.


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## gautama (Jun 2, 2011)

High_Gravity said:


> Gautama you have Obama on the brain, hard. Seek help.



Obama is DISASTROUS for America.

More people should have this fucking Disaster on their minds......including an ass like you.

And, if YOU are not aware of the immensity of the problem facing America because of this semi-black turd ....... then it is YOU who needs "help".


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## gautama (Jun 2, 2011)

rightwinger said:


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BogusWanker,

You are a mentally defective fool.

Giving advice with this condition of yours proves to me that you must be totally oblivious of this fact.

Unless you say something interesting or amusing.......and at times your political stupidity is so astounding that it is indeed interesting and amusing.....I'm gonna ignore you.


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## rightwinger (Jun 2, 2011)

gautama said:


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You don't have any Obama jokes from Groucho Marx?

I'm sure Bob Hope has some good ones you can quote


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## High_Gravity (Jun 2, 2011)

gautama said:


> High_Gravity said:
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> > Gautama you have Obama on the brain, hard. Seek help.
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Look at you all your post all your threads even your signature is about Barack Obama, admit it without him you would be a shell of a man, you need Obama to keep you going. Obama is the first thing you think of in the morning, and the last thing you think of before you go to bed.


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

PLYMCO_PILGRIM said:


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Where are the jokes listed in the OP?


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


> Spreading internet lies again?
> 
> How about you find just one clip of the comedians you attribute to these jokes..and put it up.





rightwinger said:


> None of these are by the comedians cited
> 
> Just shows how juvenile Republican humor actually is


In other words:


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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Dunno.

Can you find a clip of any of those jokes, Davey ol' bean?


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


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I'm not going to bother to look, because I don't care who came up with them.

Does it matter?  You'd still pout that someone dare mock The One.


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## rightwinger (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


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Some Retard Rightwinger was trying to mimic comedy

No self respecting comedian would put his name to them


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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I'm challenging the source of the jokes. If you could come up with a clip..or anything..well sheesh..ain't that a big win?

But if not..seems you are agreeing with a lie.


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


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I don't care about the source, you nitwit.  I think they're funny.  You'll just have to get over it, you humorless dolt.


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## rightwinger (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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Hey dave



I heard a good one the other day...


Obama's wife is FAT


Feel free to email it to all your friends


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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Getting all butthurt again? If I told ya once..I told ya again..being a commie on the public dime doesn't give you license to lie about shit.

And that's what I was asking about. The OP indicates sources for the jokes. You got anything that confirms the OP?


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## Toro (Jun 2, 2011)

Is gaytardma making fun of the Negro President again?


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

rightwinger said:


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Is that your idea of humor?

Oh, wait...you're assuming that I'd find anything insulting about the Obamas funny.  No, I'm not like leftists, to whom a "Bush = Hitler" photoshop is the height of wit and cleverness.

Michelle's fat?  Not really.  Nor it is funny.  

Y'know, you're doing nothing to dispel the view that leftists have no sense of humor.


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


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No, I'm not a sissy bedwetter leftist.


Sallow said:


> If I told ya once..I told ya again..being a commie on the public dime doesn't give you license to lie about shit.


You never have even made a token attempt to prove that I'm a Commie, you know.  So I'm curious:  What is it that you think gives you license to lie?


Sallow said:


> And that's what I was asking about. The OP indicates sources for the jokes. You got anything that confirms the OP?


You can pout and stamp your feel all you like.  Nobody owes you anything.  

I don't give a damn about the source, moron.  You sissies are just going to have to accept that people are going to make fun of Obama.  And with very good reason.


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## rightwinger (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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If you check your email, I'm sure there are a lot of watermelon and chimp jokes. 

If not....I'm sure gautama can send them to you


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

rightwinger said:


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You're projecting your simplistic and bitter humor on me.  The reality is entirely different.  

As a matter of fact, you can't even explain why you don't think the jokes in the OP aren't funny _except they're about Obama_.

You know, it's okay to poke a little fun at him.  You won't burst into flames for blasphemy.  No, really.


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## rightwinger (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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If they are that funny..

Why won't the real author put his name on it?


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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I couldn't care less about making fun of Obama, me little commie boyo..

I was questioning the soucing of the jokes.

Something that goes "whoosh" over your butthurt head.


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## Stephanie (Jun 2, 2011)

PLYMCO_PILGRIM said:


> http://www.usmessageboard.com/humor/169865-dear-president-obama.html
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> Dear President Obama,
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> ...


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

rightwinger said:


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Beats me.  Does it matter?

Keep beating.  There's still a few molecules of the original dead horse still sticking together.


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## Stephanie (Jun 2, 2011)

Toro said:


> Is gaytardma making fun of the Negro President again?




there it is folks,


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


> I couldn't care less about making fun of Obama, me little commie boyo..
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> I was questioning the soucing of the jokes.
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> Something that goes "whoosh" over your butthurt head.


Horseshit, you sissy bedwetter.  You're mad someone's making fun of The One.  

And you STILL haven't explained what makes me a Commie.  Well, aside from the obvious:  Your desperate, futile, and mindless lashing out at someone who refuses to think you're as great as you think you are.


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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Re-read the Thread, Lenin..my first question is about the sourcing of the jokes. Simple as that.

Try to cry yourself to sleep over being butthurt.


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## rightwinger (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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Hey dave

I like your sense of humor, I got another one for ya


Obami Salaami



Get it?


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


> Re-read the Thread, Lenin..


Still desperately trying to get that to stick, huh?  How's that working out for you?  


Sallow said:


> ...my first question is about the sourcing of the jokes. Simple as that.


Uh huh.  I'll bet you wouldn't be concerned about sourcing at all if they were Palin jokes.  


Sallow said:


> Try to cry yourself to sleep over being butthurt.


I might, if I knew what butthurt feels like.  Since you have so much experience with the sensation, perhaps you can describe it to me.


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

rightwinger said:


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Yeah.  That's not funny, either.  

This really is difficult for you to understand, isn't it?


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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This will probably help you with your emo butthurt pain..shorty..

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVTXPUF4Oz4]YouTube - &#x202a;Linkin Park - "In The End"&#x202c;&rlm;[/ame]

 <= Comrade Daveman The Butthurt.


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


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Anything sticking yet?  Doesn't look like.  Moron.  

And it figures an emotional little thing like you would like Linkin Park.


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## Toro (Jun 2, 2011)

Stephanie said:


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Try to keep up, Steph.


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## Toro (Jun 2, 2011)

rightwinger said:


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rofl

leftwingerLIEberhoidal


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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I don't like Linkin Park.

But they remind me of  you..all emo and such.

Try not to cry.

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK1Z3RQF_TE&feature=related]YouTube - &#x202a;John Boehner Gets Weepy, Frequently&#x202c;&rlm;[/ame]


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


> I don't like Linkin Park.
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> But they remind me of  you..all emo and such.
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> Try not to cry.


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

Hey, Sallow, you have a homework assignment.


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## rightwinger (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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Hey Dave....


I hear Obama can't say a word without a TelePrompTer!


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


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Cool.

Recognizing you have a problem in that you act like a little boy..is the first step.

Man up. Stop being so emo.


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## Sallow (Jun 2, 2011)

daveman said:


> Hey, Sallow, you have a homework assignment.



Teachers are pretty socialist too..


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

rightwinger said:


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Oh, he can say lots of words with his TelePrompTer -- but they usually don't make any sense, and they're separated with lots of "ummm"s and "ahhhhh"s.  

See?  _Now_ it's funny.  What you said by itself?  Nope.  

Is English your second language?  I've heard it's tough to get the humor in a language you didn't grow up with.


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## daveman (Jun 2, 2011)

Sallow said:


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Congratulations.  You win the Pee Wee Hermann "I Know You Are But What Am I?" Award for the day!  


Sallow said:


> Man up. Stop being so emo.


What is it with you idiot leftists that you have to make up definitions to words?  Laughing at you isn't emo.

And make no mistake about it -- _I'm laughing at you_.


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## PLYMCO_PILGRIM (Jun 3, 2011)

Sallow said:


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which one specifically...im sure i can find it for you.


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## rightwinger (Jun 3, 2011)

PLYMCO_PILGRIM said:


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How about any of them?

Why does the OP have to make up comedians to attribute them to?


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## PLYMCO_PILGRIM (Jun 3, 2011)

some of leno's from the first post are in the vid


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