# The sad tomorrow



## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

Miss you, Bug.


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)




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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)




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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)




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## bigrebnc1775 (Dec 6, 2014)

Mad_Cabbie said:


> Miss you, Bug.


What's up?


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

bigrebnc1775 said:


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Cant even say it.


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## bigrebnc1775 (Dec 6, 2014)

Mad_Cabbie said:


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Are you being serious? Or are you offering a can with a spring snake within it  to me?


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## boedicca (Dec 6, 2014)

bigrebnc1775 said:


> Mad_Cabbie said:
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It looks like Cabbie's son is going way.


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## bigrebnc1775 (Dec 6, 2014)

boedicca said:


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I hope that is what is happening, not what I thought happened.


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## percysunshine (Dec 6, 2014)

.

Tough nut there cabbie.


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## ChrisL (Dec 6, 2014)

Mad_Cabbie said:


> Miss you, Bug.



I'm so sorry.    Just words, I know.


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## April (Dec 6, 2014)

(((((Cabbie)))))


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

I've wondered today, much more than I should and I can't find my way through the three acre wood.


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## Sarah G (Dec 6, 2014)

Try and relax a little.  There's a full moon tonight to boot.  Focus on the breathing.

People are here to talk with you too.


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## westwall (Dec 6, 2014)

We're here for you MC.  *KNOW THAT!*


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

Thanks guys, but I'm don't forgive myself or the entire planit for that matter. 

I hate the entire fucking world and hope I get my head blown off by some dirt bag.


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## April (Dec 6, 2014)

Don't say that...you already know why, so I won't repeat it here...just know that you are very much loved, and we need you here.


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

I'm as obsolete as an Apotasourus; as useless as my own man tits.

Can I just stay drunk and not give a shit, forever?


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## bigrebnc1775 (Dec 6, 2014)

Mad_Cabbie said:


> Thanks guys, but I'm don't forgive myself or the entire planit for that matter.
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> I hate the entire fucking world and hope I get my head blown off by some dirt bag.


You really don't want that.


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## bigrebnc1775 (Dec 6, 2014)

Mad_Cabbie said:


> I'm as obsolete as an Apotasourus; as useless as my own man tits.
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> Can I just stay drunk and not give a shit, forever?


Nope you can't.


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

I used to be sane. I was a veryvsweet kid who loved people I'm an asshole now who can't reconcile his own shortcomings nor my lack  of connectivity.m


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

Your not the boss of me


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## Alex. (Dec 6, 2014)

Mad_Cabbie said:


> I'm as obsolete as an Apotasourus; as useless as my own man tits.
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> Can I just stay drunk and not give a shit, forever?



I do not know you nor do I know the exact facts regarding your son but,
Staying drunk reminds me of

*F*uck
*E*verything
*A*nd
*R*un

You have enough people giving you warm fuzzies so I am just going to be straight with you. You are a father and you have a responsibility to be a sober, responsible  father no matter how hard things may be right now. We do not write the script that life hands us, we play a role. You talk about being a man, then be the best man you can be.  If feeling sorry for yourself and being drunk serves good purpose then I will buy you a drink. Somehow that does not seem to be  a good choice. When you decide that you want to man up and accept help PM me maybe I could be of assistance. If not then I wish you well.


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

Um... I'm sorry for your loss brother, but why the big guns¿


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

Shit I keep erasing my posts.


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

Sorry for your loss brother


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

Alex, go eat a box of chocolates.


Alex. said:


> Mad_Cabbie said:
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You have no idea, do you even know what the hell your talking about? No, you're some guy on the internet, a noob at that. You have never done the things as a dad or a husband that I have.

Go judge someone else and shove your self righteous indignation up your poop shoot


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## Mr. H. (Dec 6, 2014)

Mrs. H. works at a rehab/health care facility. A "nursing home" by any other name...

I've been going there to help on occasion (Halloween, Thanksgiving, etc) and am scheduled to be Santa Claus later this month. I guess they like me there as the admin decided to put me on the payroll on an as- needed basis. 

Anyhow- I was playing cards with a couple of the residents when "Rob"- out of the blue- decided to tell me his story...

He's in his late 40's. One leg is amputated below the knee, an arm is amputated below the elbow, he has limited function with his "good" hand. Some times I see him just slumped over in his motorized wheelchair sleeping off the meds. (BTW he does play a hell of a game of Rummy LOL) 

So about 10 years ago Rob was working on a restore when he needed to fire up the engine. He'd assumed it was in neutral when he reached in and turned the key. The vehicle took off in reverse, out the garage, and straight over his kid. 

After burying his son, he buried himself in booze. For years on end. Massive heart attack, diabetes, liver ailments... and the amputations followed. He needs round-the-clock care and in all likelihood he'll grow old and die in that facility. Breaks my heart because he's a super-cool guy. 

We can't escape our grief, we can't run away from our sorrows, we can't erase our memories. I've tried, as I have my own brand of demons with which to deal. These are our "dark passengers" (ala Dexter). Sometimes they hitch a ride- these are the difficult moments. Sometimes they're nowhere to be seen- these are the restive moments. Sometimes we reflect on them philosophically- these are the rational moments. 

About 20 years ago, when I felt that I had nowhere to turn, I happened to be reading an article within which was quoted an entry from Japanese literature... "Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home". Those few simple words turned it around for me. Why? I can't explain it, but it resonates a comforting truth to me. 

Find your comforting truth, because you're not going to rid yourself of the monkey on your back.

Don't end up burying your load along with yourself. 

Bitch.


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 6, 2014)

Roadrunner said:


> Mad_Cabbie said:
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Man, some of you guys really suck at the bedside!


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## ChrisL (Dec 6, 2014)

Roadrunner said:


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Sometimes people need to vent and let that shit out, especially if there is an anniversary date upcoming or something else that might trigger memories.


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## ChrisL (Dec 6, 2014)

Mad_Cabbie said:


> Man, some of you guys really suck at the bedside!



You should really think about talking with someone, just to have someone to listen.  It could be like a huge weight has been lifted off of you, at least temporarily.    Also, writing your feelings out on paper can be very therapeutic.


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## ChrisL (Dec 6, 2014)

Sorry to hear that, so my post #34 could be helpful for you also.  When you're feeling like a yo-yo, it helps some people to write their feelings out on paper.  It could be in a letter form or in poetry form.  Or just writing.  Whatever.


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## Sarah G (Dec 7, 2014)

So Cabbie, the cute little boy is just leaving your home or your town, right.  He didn't pass away...  You don't have to tell the whole story but everyone is worried about him.  This isn't just idle curiosity or internet crap.  He's adorable and we want to know that he's okay.


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## Esmeralda (Dec 7, 2014)

ChrisL said:


> Mad_Cabbie said:
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Agree. Join a group therapy. Also, please note: you do have a child, even if he isn't with you all the time. He is a gift to you. There are many, many people who have gone through life without the gift of a child. You are one of the fortunate ones.  Whatever you do in life, remember that child is linked to you, needs to know you are there for him, needs to be able to think of you with love and respect.


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 7, 2014)

Sarah G said:


> So Cabbie, the cute little boy is just leaving your home or your town, right.  He didn't pass away...  You don't have to tell the whole story but everyone is worried about him.  This isn't just idle curiosity or internet crap.  He's adorable and we want to know that he's okay.



I did not tell everyone what happened for a reason. The internet is a very bad place to dump your secrets. Too bad that RR can't understand that.

While I'm unwilling to share the exact details, I will say that Bug is quite alive, but in the hospital.

To everyone exept for the jackasses who showed up to troll, I thank you for your kind words. To the ones trolling;
DONT talk to me for a while.


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## Sarah G (Dec 7, 2014)

Mad_Cabbie said:


> Sarah G said:
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> > So Cabbie, the cute little boy is just leaving your home or your town, right.  He didn't pass away...  You don't have to tell the whole story but everyone is worried about him.  This isn't just idle curiosity or internet crap.  He's adorable and we want to know that he's okay.
> ...


It's okay and thank god he is doing alright.  Take care.  Give him a million hugs.


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## ChrisL (Dec 7, 2014)

ChrisL said:


> Sorry to hear that, so my post #34 could be helpful for you also.  When you're feeling like a yo-yo, it helps some people to write their feelings out on paper.  It could be in a letter form or in poetry form.  Or just writing.  Whatever.



Editing because oops, I forgot to quote Roadrunner on this post.


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## Roadrunner (Dec 7, 2014)

ChrisL said:


> ChrisL said:
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> > Sorry to hear that, so my post #34 could be helpful for you also.  When you're feeling like a yo-yo, it helps some people to write their feelings out on paper.  It could be in a letter form or in poetry form.  Or just writing.  Whatever.
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Cabbie is an asshole.

He had me believing he lost his child.

When he said he could not talk about it, note I checked "Agree" because I understood that, assuming he had lost a child.

Later, we find out he DID NOT LOSE A CHILD.

But in the meantime, he made all of us that HAD LOST A CHILD have to have those memories come back.

That, in my opinion, is inexcusable attention whoring.


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## Roadrunner (Dec 7, 2014)

Mad_Cabbie said:


> Sarah G said:
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> > So Cabbie, the cute little boy is just leaving your home or your town, right.  He didn't pass away...  You don't have to tell the whole story but everyone is worried about him.  This isn't just idle curiosity or internet crap.  He's adorable and we want to know that he's okay.
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I lost a child, and, sorry you can't understand that, you fuckin' attention whore.


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## bigrebnc1775 (Dec 7, 2014)

Roadrunner said:


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That's what I first thought, or it was some kind of shit post to draw you in hence my first comment what's up and the second comment hidden spring snake in a can.


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## ChrisL (Dec 7, 2014)

Roadrunner said:


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Roadrunner said:


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His first post was saying that he missed his son.  The interpretation was left up to us.  I also assumed, as you did, that he had lost his son.  However, he didn't ever say that he had and now he has told us that the child is in the hospital.  We don't know why, so I don't think it's so bad that he was upset and expressing himself but didn't really want to share in the details.  I agree with him that the internet is not a very good place to share such things because there are a lot of cruel people in the world.  IOW, I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, in that he was upset, perhaps drinking a bit, and didn't really think through before posting.


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## Roadrunner (Dec 7, 2014)

ChrisL said:


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He as being his usual asshole self, which is often funny.

This time it wasn't.


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## Sarah G (Dec 7, 2014)

Roadrunner said:


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I've never had that happen but my daughter was hurt when she was in high school.  I know how it feels to have one that is hurting but to actually have one that lost the fight must be hell. 

I'm so sorry..


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## Alex. (Dec 7, 2014)

Alex. said:


> Mad_Cabbie said:
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I am very sorry your son is in the hospital I hope he gets well.

Not knowing that he was ill I was focused on this statement>>>*"Can I just stay drunk and not give a shit, forever?"* Having grown up with  drunk for a father you touched a very tender and hurtful button.

The offer still stands if you need a hand or someone to talk to PM me. Otherwise I will send prayers to you, your boy and your family.


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## Roadrunner (Dec 7, 2014)

Sarah G said:


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You don't need to be, Christ the Comforter has taken care of me and him.


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## Sarah G (Dec 7, 2014)

Roadrunner said:


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Good.  I don't know if I'd turn toward Christ or against Him if that happened.


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 7, 2014)




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## Roadrunner (Dec 7, 2014)

Sarah G said:


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Well, you'd be miserable and bitter for ever if you did.


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## ChrisL (Dec 7, 2014)

Roadrunner said:


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That's not necessarily the case.  Everyone grieves in their own way and different people find comfort in different things.


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## Sarah G (Dec 7, 2014)

Yeah.


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## Luddly Neddite (Dec 7, 2014)

I also lost a child, a daughter, and there is no pain worse than that. Having said that, until and unless we walk in the shoes of another, we really cannot and should not judge. Sharing one's feelings is not "attention whoring" and this is one of those times your mommy told you about - if you can't say something nice, just shut up.

Mad_Cabbie, I hope your son is okay and that you find your way out of the black hole you're in right now.


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 7, 2014)

Luddly Neddite said:


> I also lost a child, a daughter, and there is no pain worse than that. Having said that, until and unless we walk in the shoes of another, we really cannot and should not judge. Sharing one's feelings is not "attention whoring" and this is one of those times your mommy told you about - if you can't say something nice, just shut up.
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> Mad_Cabbie, I hope your son is okay and that you find your way out of the black hole you're in right now.


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 7, 2014)

Alex. said:


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You "popped off" without even having a clue about what you were talking about Mr Sock Puppet. Next time, try using that large brain of yours before inserting your foot in your mouth.

PS, no, I have no interest in accepting your offer to cry on your shoulder, but thanks for the totally ostentatious, pitty party, you self important jerk.


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## Alex. (Dec 7, 2014)

Mad_Cabbie said:


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I responded to your statement about being drunk. Maybe you should not pour your guts out on the internet while you are pouring yourself a drink. Then again .......


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## Mad_Cabbie (Dec 7, 2014)

Alex. said:


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"Infinity."


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## BlackSand (Dec 7, 2014)

Fuck It ... Go Fishing and Get Some Damn Air.



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