# Suggest some topics for me! Please



## California Girl

Friends, Romans, Countrymen....

I have to write ten articles - on absolutely any topic. I am kind of stuck on what else to write about. I've done all kinds of trival shit but I need to do some more. Anyone got any ideas? It can be as random as you like - all suggestions welcome. Only two are off limits - politics and economics - both of which I have done to death and I need to do some other shit for a change. 

So, USMB, any ideas?


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## CrusaderFrank

1. Is the Moon really hollow or is CF just fucking with us?  (I'm not)

2. Do undersea ruins validate the Legend of the Great Flood?

3. How the fuck did Roman artifacts wide up in 1,000 year old kiln in Arizona? How?

4. Does the Dog Whisperer beat the shit out of the dogs off camera to get them to obey?


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## AllieBaba

The great tumbleweed invasion.


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## California Girl

CrusaderFrank said:


> 1. Is the Moon really hollow or is CF just fucking with us?  (I'm not)
> 
> 2. Do undersea ruins validate the Legend of the Great Flood?
> 
> 3. How the fuck did Roman artifacts wide up in 1,000 year old kiln in Arizona? How?
> 
> 4. Does the Dog Whisperer beat the shit out of the dogs off camera to get them to obey?



Well, those are helpful..... not. 

Actually, number 3 might be cool. Got a link?


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## CrusaderFrank

California Girl said:


> CrusaderFrank said:
> 
> 
> 
> 1. Is the Moon really hollow or is CF just fucking with us?  (I'm not)
> 
> 2. Do undersea ruins validate the Legend of the Great Flood?
> 
> 3. How the fuck did Roman artifacts wide up in 1,000 year old kiln in Arizona? How?
> 
> 4. Does the Dog Whisperer beat the shit out of the dogs off camera to get them to obey?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Well, those are helpful..... not.
> 
> Actually, number 3 might be cool. Got a link?
Click to expand...


Phoenix News - A Reputation in Ruins - page 1

The Romans also made it to Brazil and found Copacabana and Ipenama. Seriously, the Romans traveled to Brazil a millennium before Columbus and Cabral

http://news.google.com/newspapers?n...JwWAAAAIBAJ&sjid=GxQEAAAAIBAJ&pg=6890,2253918


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## Zoom-boing

Why are dogs the best animal evah

Crap or fact:  do cats really taste like chicken

My favorite tv theme song ever

The Irish and their scone

Tiny killer jellyfish


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## Cold Fusion38

Does polar shift have any adverse effect on the Earth? i saw a show about 12/21/12 (the end of the world) and this geologist was claiming that polar shift would destroy the world, the thing is we have had polar shift hundreds of times and it hasn't killed all the worlds life off.


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## Cold Fusion38

Deep water exploration and finding new exotic life? Some of the little beasties that live MILES under water near volcanic vents are pretty cool. As close to ALIEN life as we have seen.


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## CrusaderFrank

Cold Fusion38 said:


> Does polar shift have any adverse effect on the Earth? i saw a show about 12/21/12 (the end of the world) and this geologist was claiming that polar shift would destroy the world, the thing is we have had polar shift hundreds of times and it hasn't killed all the worlds life off.



Well, not all, but some or most.


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## CrusaderFrank

Is there life on Europa?


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## CrusaderFrank

Did U-2 title their CD "How to assemble an atomic bomb" just to fuck with Homeland Security?


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## CrusaderFrank

Zoom-boing said:


> Why are dogs the best animal evah
> 
> Crap or fact:  do cats really taste like chicken
> 
> My favorite tv theme song ever
> 
> The Irish and their scone
> 
> Tiny killer jellyfish



Irukandji jellyfish - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Seriously!! What the fucking fuck!  Are jellyfish alien invaders?


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## Zoom-boing

CrusaderFrank said:


> Zoom-boing said:
> 
> 
> 
> Why are dogs the best animal evah
> 
> Crap or fact:  do cats really taste like chicken
> 
> My favorite tv theme song ever
> 
> The Irish and their scone
> 
> Tiny killer jellyfish
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Irukandji jellyfish - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
> 
> Seriously!! What the fucking fuck!  Are jellyfish alien invaders?
Click to expand...


I saw a show on these little buggers.  DAMN!  Nasty, nasty.


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## CrusaderFrank

Topic: Should you pay any attention to someone's opinion on guitar players if they don't now and never even heard of "Shut Up N Play Yer Guitar"?

Hint: Nah, just ignore them


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## California Girl

Excellent..... keep 'em coming.


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## Si modo

The Great Pumpkin Shortage of 2009/10.  Seriously, I can't get canned pumpkin anywhere.  Why the hell is there a pumpkin shortage?  This means no pumpkin scones for me.


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## Si modo

How to make trapshooting interesting.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58rdYkc5y7I"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58rdYkc5y7I[/ame]


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## California Girl

Si modo said:


> The Great Pumpkin Shortage of 2009/10.  Seriously, I can't get canned pumpkin anywhere.  Why the hell is there a pumpkin shortage?  This means no pumpkin scones for me.



MO CHARA!!!!! Are you back?????


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## Si modo

California Girl said:


> Si modo said:
> 
> 
> 
> The Great Pumpkin Shortage of 2009/10.  Seriously, I can't get canned pumpkin anywhere.  Why the hell is there a pumpkin shortage?  This means no pumpkin scones for me.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> MO CHARA!!!!! Are you back?????
Click to expand...

Indeed!  The snow is not as annoying right now.

Still smiling.

Saw an amazing local contest of Peruvian Pasos.  Write about them!

edit:  Actually, I think they were Paso Finos.


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## Cold Fusion38

CrusaderFrank said:


> Is there life on Europa?







GREAT topic! Of course we can only speculate about it but there is more chance of life there than anywhere else in our SS.


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## xsited1

California Girl said:


> Friends, Romans, Countrymen....
> 
> I have to write ten articles - on absolutely any topic. I am kind of stuck on what else to write about. I've done all kinds of trival shit but I need to do some more. Anyone got any ideas? It can be as random as you like - all suggestions welcome. Only two are off limits - politics and economics - both of which I have done to death and I need to do some other shit for a change.
> 
> So, USMB, any ideas?



The moral advantages of using the word 'shit' in a sentence.


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## Zoom-boing

Si modo said:


> The Great Pumpkin Shortage of 2009/10.  Seriously, I can't get canned pumpkin anywhere.  Why the hell is there a pumpkin shortage?  This means no pumpkin scones for me.



Holy crap!  I thought it was just my local grocery store.  They had some of the giant cans last week but not many.  No 15 oz. ones at all.  Hmmmm, 'tis a mystery.


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## Zoom-boing

Why paying for quality saves you money.

Is what comes out of lady gaga really music?

Don't be afraid of color; paint  your house!

No wild animal should ever be a pet.

Parsnips, the often overlooked vegetable.


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## AllieBaba

Write an article on eco-friendly sewage treatment.

In the last 5 years or so a rash of small towns have had to replace their sewers/sewage treatment systems, as the ones they put in have become outdated and new regulations require new methods and equipment. This has led to sewage treatment ponds that are eco-friendly and a whole lot of really interesting innovations.


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## Phoenix

Underwater basket-weaving?


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## Cold Fusion38

Underwater salad tossing?


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## California Girl

Phoenix said:


> Underwater basket-weaving?



That's helpful. 

Frighteningly, there are several topics that you guys have come up with that I'm gonna look at. Feel free to keep adding, daft, sensible, downright weird or just to annoy me..... it's all good!


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## Phoenix

California Girl said:


> That's helpful.
> 
> Frighteningly, there are several topics that you guys have come up with that I'm gonna look at. Feel free to keep adding, daft, sensible, downright weird or just to annoy me..... it's all good!



Are movies ever better than books? 

Are song remakes/covers ever better than the original?

Is the third time really a charm?


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## Cold Fusion38

Should the military go exclusively to unmanned aircraft?


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## California Girl

Cold Fusion38 said:


> Should the military go exclusively to unmanned aircraft?



Interestingly, that's the second time that subject has been mentioned. And I'm pretty tempted to do it.


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## CrusaderFrank

Does switching to Geico really save you money or is the lizard lying?


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## Baruch Menachem

I am reading the Dexter books.

You might do a topic on the migration of the anti hero, from Roderick Random to Dexter.

And what the Dexter stories say about life these days.


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## Phoenix

Ummm ... if cats always land on their feet and bread always lands butter side down, what happens if you strap a piece of bread (butter side up) to the back of a cat and drop it?


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## Phoenix

CrusaderFrank said:


> Does switching to Geico really save you money or is the lizard lying?



That little sucker is actually telling the truth.


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## Liability

CC:

Here come an unduly long reply (more of an excuse to share some crap  got via e-mail):

Subject: The English language-  A Topic Worthy of a whole course or even several whole semesters or years even:


                                You think 
                                English is easy??? 

                                Read to the end . . . a new 
                                twist 

                                1) The bandage was wound around the 
wound.

                                2) The farm was used to produce produce . 


                                3) The dump was so full that it had to
                                refuse more refuse.


                                4) We must polish the Polish 
                                furniture. 


                                5) He could  lead if he would get the lead
                                out.


                                6) The soldier decided to 
                                desert his dessert in the desert.


                                7) Since there is no time like 
                                the present, he thought it was time to
                                present the present . 


                                8) A bass was painted on the 
                                head of the bass drum.


                                9) When shot at, the dove dove into the
                                bushes.


                                10) I did not object to the object. 


                                11) The insurance was invalid for the
                                invalid. 


                                12) There was a row among the oarsmen
                                about how to row


                                13) They were too close to the 
                                door to close it. 


                                14) The buck does funny things when the
                                does are present.


                                15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down
                                into a sewer line.


                                16) To help with planting, the farmer
                                taught his sow to sow.


                                17) The wind was too strong to wind the
                                sail. 


                                18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I
                                shed a tear.


                                19) I had to subject the subject to a
                                series of tests. 


                                20) How can I intimate this to my most
                                intimate friend? 


                                Let's face it - English is a crazy
                                language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor
                                ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine
                                in pineapple. English muffins weren't
                                invented in England or French fries in
                                France . Sweetmeats are candies while
                                sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
                                We take English for granted. But if we
                                explore its paradoxes, we find that
                                quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings
                                are square and a guinea pig is neither
                                from Guinea nor is it a pig. 

                                And why is it that writers write but
                                fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce
                                and hammers don't ham? If the plural of
                                tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of
                                booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one
                                moose, 2 meese? One    index,2indices?
                                Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make
                                amends but not one amend? If you have a
                                bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all
                                but one of them, what do you call it? 


                                If teachers taught, why didn't preachers
                                praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
                                what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I
                                think all the English speakers should be
                                committed to an asylum for the verbally
                                insane. In what language do people recite
                                at a play and play at a recital? Ship by
                                truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses
                                that run and feet that smell?

                                How can a slim chance and a fat chance be
                                the same, while a wise man and a wise guy
                                are opposites? You have to marvel at the
                                unique lunacy of a language in which your
                                house can burn up as it burns down, in
                                which you fill in a form by filling it out
                                and in which, an alarm goes off by going
                                on. 

                                English was invented by people, 
                                not computers, and it reflects the
                                creativity of the human race, which, of
                                course, is not a race at all. That is why,
                                when the stars are out, they are visible,
                                but when the lights are out, they are
                                invisible.

                                PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with
                                'quick' ?

                                You lovers of the English language 
                                might enjoy this . 


                                There is a two-letter word 
                                that perhaps has more meanings than any
                                other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.' 


                                It's easy to understand ...
                                UP, meaning toward the sky or at 
                                the top of the list, but when we awaken in
                                the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a
                                meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do
                                we speak UP and why are the officers UP
                                for election and why is it UP to the
                                secretary to write UP a report? 


                                We call UP our friends. And we use it to
                                brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver;
                                we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the
                                kitchen. We lock UP the house and some
                                guys fix UP the old car. At other times
                                the little word has real special meaning.
                                People stir UP  trouble, line UP for
                                tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP
                                excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but
                                to be dressed U P is special. 


                                And this UP is confusing: A drain must be
                                opened UP because it is stopped UP. We
                                open UP a store in the morning but we
                                close it UP at night. 


                                We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !
                                To be knowledgeable about the proper uses
                                of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
                                In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP
                                almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to
                                about thirty definitions. If you are UP to
                                it, you might try building a list of the
                                many waysUP is used. It will take UP a lot
                                of your time, but if you don't give UP,
                                you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
                                When it threatens to rain, we say it is
                                clouding UP . When the sun comes out we
                                say it is clearing UP...


                                When it rains, it wets the earth and often
                                messes things UP. When it doesn't rain for
                                awhile, things dry UP.


                                One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it
                                UP, for now my time is UP, so........it is
                                time to shut UP! 

                                Oh . . ... one more thing: 

                                What is the first thing you do in the
                                morning & the last thing you do at night?

                                U-P  !





I take no credit for sharing  silly shit we get via e-mail!  But if you can't work that blather into a "topic," you are gonna need a remedial course in "TOPICS."


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## Cold Fusion38

I think there are MANY good reasons to do so not the least of which is unmanned aircraft SHOULD be vastly superior to manned aircraft.


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## Cold Fusion38

Phoenix said:


> Ummm ... if cats always land on their feet and bread always lands butter side down, what happens if you strap a piece of bread (butter side up) to the back of a cat and drop it?





You wind up with a pissed off cat? Not a good thing I assure you.


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## Againsheila

California Girl said:


> Friends, Romans, Countrymen....
> 
> I have to write ten articles - on absolutely any topic. I am kind of stuck on what else to write about. I've done all kinds of trival shit but I need to do some more. Anyone got any ideas? It can be as random as you like - all suggestions welcome. Only two are off limits - politics and economics - both of which I have done to death and I need to do some other shit for a change.
> 
> So, USMB, any ideas?



autism
Phi Beta Psi - a sorority started in 1904 to fund research to cure cancer.
Susan B Anthony
Vaccines - should we or shouldn't we?  Why or Why not?
Aids
Birth-control - what's effective and what isn't..
The changing of America.....how are we different from 1776?
need more?  I'm always full of ideas....yea I know, I'm just plain full "of it" too.


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## Liability

Scientifcially speaking, why do males' notions of female beauty change so much over time and between cultures? Give examples.  Be specific.  Is there any chance that it's not tied to Darwinian notions of survival of the species?


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## Phoenix

Cold Fusion38 said:


> You wind up with a pissed off cat? Not a good thing I assure you.



True enough.


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## Phoenix

Ok, CG - nature vs. nurture, specifically in the instances of geographically separated twins.


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## Liability

ESP:  Fact or fiction?

Leave the paper blank.

Ask the professor to tell YOU what you were thinking.

Tell the professor to be specific.

Advise the professor that your grade depends on how well he or she does.


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## California Girl

Liability said:


> ESP:  Fact or fiction?
> 
> Leave the paper blank.
> 
> Ask the professor to tell YOU what you were thinking.
> 
> Tell the professor to be specific.
> 
> Advise the professor that your grade depends on how well he or she does.



While I am not actually writing this for school, there actually might be an angle on this.


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## Zoom-boing

Phoenix said:


> Ummm ... if cats always land on their feet and bread always lands butter side down, what happens if you strap a piece of bread (butter side up) to the back of a cat and drop it?



You have lunch!


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## midcan5

Write about a wish/dream you want to happen and one you don't.
Describe the first time you realized you would die.
Imagine yourself born Black in the fifties.
Would you want to live completely paralyzed.
Write about the day you decided to see if homosexuality were a choice.
What would you do if you had six months to live.
Write about why you value ??? more than ???
Write a paper without the word 'the.'
You have the opportunity to kill Hitler young and you know the future.
A very close friend asks you to help them die.
You choose to die and consider the life and people you leave.
You are a bomber and are forced to kill a evil person but to do so you kill thousands of innocents.
You can redo one thing in your life what is it. (make it up even)
You are gawd and know the evil that will come, do you create Adam and Eve.
You are granted one wish what is it.
Same as above but one experience.
You can return to one time in history.
You can interview anyone.

How is it technology is so often ignored in our study of progress.
If your mind were erased would you still be you.
Will humans ever attain immortality.
Do animals think?


Check these too. The World Question Center 2010

WHAT WE BELIEVE BUT CANNOT PROVE?
Today's Leading Thinkers on Science in the Age of Certainty 
Edited by John Brockman
Introduction by IAN MCEWAN


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## CrusaderFrank

Write from the POV of Tiger Wood's penis


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## Nosmo King

John Ford and Monument Valley.

Henry Ford and the invention of charcoal.

Charcoal fires that have damaged Monument Valley.

The great circle of life goes round and round.


----------



## Zoom-boing

Charcoal:  the grilling choice for real men.

Clowns:  entertainment or Satan's revenge?

How to give a cat the influenza.

White noise:  how it helps a baby to sleep.

Beer:  more than just a breakfast drink.


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## Phoenix

Zoom-boing said:


> Charcoal:  the grilling choice for real men.
> 
> Clowns:  entertainment or Satan's revenge?
> 
> How to give a cat the influenza.
> 
> White noise:  how it helps a baby to sleep.
> 
> Beer:  more than just a breakfast drink.




Beer: the grilling choice for men.

Beer: how it helps a baby sleep.

Babies: entertainment or Satan's revenge?

Beer: makes the clowns not as scary.

White noise: when clowns become mimes.


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## Liability

At the risk of wandering too close to "political" discussion territory:

Did you know that underneath an area around Scranton, Pennsylvania there has been a coal fire burning for over half a century?


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## Zoom-boing

Phoenix said:


> Zoom-boing said:
> 
> 
> 
> Charcoal:  the grilling choice for real men.
> 
> Clowns:  entertainment or Satan's revenge?
> 
> How to give a cat the influenza.
> 
> White noise:  how it helps a baby to sleep.
> 
> Beer:  more than just a breakfast drink.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Beer: the grilling choice for men.
> 
> Beer: how it helps a baby sleep.
> 
> Babies: entertainment or Satan's revenge?
> 
> Beer: makes the clowns not as scary.
> 
> White noise: when clowns become mimes.
Click to expand...


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## Nosmo King

Mayonnaise: The clogger of arteries

Highways: The arteries of the city

Traffic jams near the mayonnaise factory.

Who can spell 'irony'?


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## Nosmo King

Liability said:


> At the risk of wandering too close to "political" discussion territory:
> 
> Did you know that underneath an area around Scranton, Pennsylvania there has been a coal fire burning for over half a century?


Centraila, Pennsylvania?


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## jillian

California Girl said:


> Excellent..... keep 'em coming.



what kind of people post on messageboards?


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## RodISHI

The simplicity of home made pie.


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## Liability

Nosmo King said:


> Liability said:
> 
> 
> 
> At the risk of wandering too close to "political" discussion territory:
> 
> Did you know that underneath an area around Scranton, Pennsylvania there has been a coal fire burning for over half a century?
> 
> 
> 
> Centraila, Pennsylvania?
Click to expand...


I believe that's the place.


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## Phoenix

jillian said:


> what kind of people post on messageboards?



Non-existent, unreal, delusional ones.


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## jillian

Phoenix said:


> jillian said:
> 
> 
> 
> what kind of people post on messageboards?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Non-existent, unreal, delusional ones.
Click to expand...


damn... and here i thought we were real.

it must be the delusions talking... *sigh*


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## Phoenix

jillian said:


> damn... and here i thought we were real.
> 
> it must be the delusions talking... *sigh*



Now you've got it!

Plus, we could all be axe murderers and such. It's a scary internet world.


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## Nosmo King

Alcohol: The cause of and solution to all life's problems.


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## jillian

Phoenix said:


> jillian said:
> 
> 
> 
> damn... and here i thought we were real.
> 
> it must be the delusions talking... *sigh*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Now you've got it!
> 
> Plus, we could all be axe murderers and such. It's a scary internet world.
Click to expand...


----------



## Phoenix

jillian said:


>



Uh-huh.

Don't even get me started on the fact that women probably are really men and men are probably really women and none of them what they say they are ...


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## jillian

Phoenix said:


> jillian said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Uh-huh.
> 
> Don't even get me started on the fact that women probably are really men and men are probably really women and none of them what they say they are ...
Click to expand...


dunno.. i'm pretty straightforward about who i am. i'd like to think that most of the people i deal with are equally straightforward. but the only ones i'd fully trust are the people i know really well and whom i know to be what they say they are.


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## Nosmo King

Phoenix said:


> jillian said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Uh-huh.
> 
> Don't even get me started on the fact that women probably are really men and men are probably really women and none of them what they say they are ...
Click to expand...

Cryptic, but kinky!


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## Gunny

jillian said:


> Phoenix said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> jillian said:
> 
> 
> 
> what kind of people post on messageboards?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Non-existent, unreal, delusional ones.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> damn... and here i thought we were real.
> 
> it must be the delusions talking... *sigh*
Click to expand...


You thought you are real?



Only when it's handy.


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## Phoenix

jillian said:


> dunno.. i'm pretty straightforward about who i am. i'd like to think that most of the people i deal with are equally straightforward. but the only ones i'd fully trust are the people i know really well and whom i know to be what they say they are.



I agree. I'm the same.

But people who don't have a clue think that everyone on the internet is an AIDS-infected, child-molesting, axe murderer. Or worse.


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## Gunny

Phoenix said:


> jillian said:
> 
> 
> 
> damn... and here i thought we were real.
> 
> it must be the delusions talking... *sigh*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Now you've got it!
> 
> Plus, we could all be axe murderers and such. It's a scary internet world.
Click to expand...


*Puts stone away and hides blade behind back*


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## Nosmo King

Gunny said:


> jillian said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Phoenix said:
> 
> 
> 
> Non-existent, unreal, delusional ones.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> damn... and here i thought we were real.
> 
> it must be the delusions talking... *sigh*
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> You thought you are real?
> 
> 
> 
> Only when it's handy.
Click to expand...

I blog, therefore I am.


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## Phoenix

Nosmo King said:


> Cryptic, but kinky!



I've been given "statistics" that there is a 50% chance that people who say they are women are really men and vice versa.


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## xotoxi

TOPIC: God hits the People of Madeira with rivers of heavenly diarrhea because they made a pact with the Devil.










_You said ANYTHING!!!_


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## jillian

Gunny said:


> jillian said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Phoenix said:
> 
> 
> 
> Non-existent, unreal, delusional ones.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> damn... and here i thought we were real.
> 
> it must be the delusions talking... *sigh*
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> 
> You thought you are real?
> 
> 
> 
> Only when it's handy.
Click to expand...


it might be nice to be able to say anything i want to and then blame the delusions

i'm so confused 

:hides:


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## Nosmo King

Phoenix said:


> Nosmo King said:
> 
> 
> 
> Cryptic, but kinky!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I've been given "statistics" that there is a 50% chance that people who say they are women are really men and vice versa.
Click to expand...

50% of posters lie about their gender?  Wow!  I would never have guessed it was that high!  It's easier to type with Lee Press-On Nails than I imagined!  

But then again, I read one of The Dude's posts and found it interesting, insightful, funny and factually accurate.  

So, to sum up, I'm a lousy judge of truth and accuracy on message boards!


----------



## Phoenix

Gunny said:


> *Puts stone away and hides blade behind back*



Too late!  I saw it!


----------



## jillian

Phoenix said:


> jillian said:
> 
> 
> 
> dunno.. i'm pretty straightforward about who i am. i'd like to think that most of the people i deal with are equally straightforward. but the only ones i'd fully trust are the people i know really well and whom i know to be what they say they are.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I agree. I'm the same.
> 
> But people who don't have a clue think that everyone on the internet is an AIDS-infected, child-molesting, axe murderer. Or worse.
Click to expand...


and we know there are people who say 'it's just the internet' and think that it excuses them pretending about who they are.


----------



## Phoenix

Nosmo King said:


> 50% of posters lie about their gender?  Wow!  I would never have guessed it was that high!  It's easier to type with Lee Press-On Nails than I imagined!
> 
> But then again, I read one of The Dude's posts and found it interesting, insightful, funny and factually accurate.
> 
> So, to sum up, I'm a lousy judge of truth and accuracy on message boards!



Yep.  

I usually wait til I'm done posting to shave off my 5 o'clock shadow.


----------



## Nosmo King

Phoenix said:


> Nosmo King said:
> 
> 
> 
> 50% of posters lie about their gender?  Wow!  I would never have guessed it was that high!  It's easier to type with Lee Press-On Nails than I imagined!
> 
> But then again, I read one of The Dude's posts and found it interesting, insightful, funny and factually accurate.
> 
> So, to sum up, I'm a lousy judge of truth and accuracy on message boards!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Yep.
> 
> I usually wait til I'm done posting to shave off my 5 o'clock shadow.
Click to expand...

You're no man!  Shave off a five o'clock shadow!  Hardy Har har!  That's the request of a wife, not a man for himself!

Damn!  I broke a nail!


----------



## Phoenix

Nosmo King said:


> You're no man!  Shave off a five o'clock shadow!  Hardy Har har!  That's the request of a wife, not a man for himself!
> 
> Damn!  I broke a nail!



Pfffft!

I'm even wearing my wife's nylons. 

Course, I snagged them a bit.  Used duct tape to fix em.


----------



## Nosmo King

Phoenix said:


> Nosmo King said:
> 
> 
> 
> You're no man!  Shave off a five o'clock shadow!  Hardy Har har!  That's the request of a wife, not a man for himself!
> 
> Damn!  I broke a nail!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pfffft!
> 
> I'm even wearing my wife's nylons.
> 
> Course, I snagged them a bit.  Used duct tape to fix em.
Click to expand...

Get a pedicure, honey!  Men use staples to fix nylons, not duct tape!  Duct tape adhesive sticks to leg hair and is a bitch to remove!

women!


----------



## Nosmo King

Nosmo King said:


> Phoenix said:
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Nosmo King said:
> 
> 
> 
> You're no man!  Shave off a five o'clock shadow!  Hardy Har har!  That's the request of a wife, not a man for himself!
> 
> Damn!  I broke a nail!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Pfffft!
> 
> I'm even wearing my wife's nylons.
> 
> Course, I snagged them a bit.  Used duct tape to fix em.
> 
> Click to expand...
> 
> Get a pedicure, honey!  Men use staples to fix nylons, not duct tape!  *Duct tape adhesive sticks to leg hair and is a bitch to remove!*
> 
> women!
Click to expand...


Don't ask how I knew this!


----------



## Phoenix

Nosmo King said:


> Don't ask how I knew this!



Real women know you always use clear nail polish on runs.  


Duct tape is used for impromptu strapless bras.


----------



## Nosmo King

Phoenix said:


> Nosmo King said:
> 
> 
> 
> Don't ask how I knew this!
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Real women know you always use clear nail polish on runs.
> 
> 
> Duct tape is used for impromptu strapless bras.
Click to expand...

Duct tape AND Boobs!


----------



## CrusaderFrank

Here, I'll even start it for you

"I am Tiger Wood's Penis"

I don't know what the fuss is all about, not like I'm a big deal or anything. I feel no shame, no guilt, because, after all, I'm a dick. If Elin was nicer to me I wouldn't be so tempted to visit all those other women, ahhh, who the fuck am I kidding, I'm a penis, and I just like all the attention...


----------



## Phoenix

Domestic cats _can_ swim, but don't like to and they're almost impossible to baptize.


----------



## California Girl

Phoenix said:


> Domestic cats _can_ swim, but don't like to and they're almost impossible to baptize.



  Leave your brain to medical research, Phoenix.... you are an original!


----------



## Phoenix

California Girl said:


> Phoenix said:
> 
> 
> 
> Domestic cats _can_ swim, but don't like to and they're almost impossible to baptize.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Leave your brain to medical research, Phoenix.... you are an original!
Click to expand...


----------



## FireGod

Polyamory

The history of marriage

The use of diamonds in circuit boards

What happens in 2035 (hint a close encounter is due to happen)

Why US citizens continually refer to themselves as Americans when they actually mean US citizen.

Why using a douche is a bad thing.


----------



## midcan5

While I agree with one of comments that the real is real enough, this can be an interesting 
means of thought. Consider only if Gore had won? Bush was so much a failure it just simply boggles the political mind.


Kim Stanley Robinson chapbook: how history works explained in fiction and essay Boing Boing


----------



## Barb

California Girl said:


> Friends, Romans, Countrymen....
> 
> I have to write ten articles - on absolutely any topic. I am kind of stuck on what else to write about. I've done all kinds of trival shit but I need to do some more. Anyone got any ideas? It can be as random as you like - all suggestions welcome. Only two are off limits - politics and economics - both of which I have done to death and I need to do some other shit for a change.
> 
> So, USMB, any ideas?



You could conduct a survey. 

*Moms with babies who had big heads. *

Vaginal births only. 

How old is the child (are the children)now?

Sure you love them, but do you still get a little pissed off thinking about it? 

Do you get pissed off at the kid?
or
Do you get pissed off at the father?

Does it depend on who is in the room at the time? 

Does it depend on them pissing you off on an unrelated matter? 

ie: 
"I didn't spend three days in back labor bringing your big head into this world to listen to a lot of lip!"
or
"I didn't spend three days in back labor bringing your big-headed offspring into this world to listen to a lot of lip!"


----------



## Barb

CrusaderFrank said:


> Write from the POV of Tiger Wood's penis



That would be short. 

"It followed me home. Can I keep it?    Please?"


----------



## Barb

Phoenix said:


> jillian said:
> 
> 
> 
> damn... and here i thought we were real.
> 
> it must be the delusions talking... *sigh*
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Now you've got it!
> 
> Plus, we could all be axe murderers and such. It's a scary internet world.
Click to expand...


We could, and it is t is:



> People worry about their relatives activities on the Internet. Porn is the biggest concern, but the truth is that there are places far darker than Hustler, more addictive than prurient interests. The Internet is full of people wanting to be someone else, a world where, by assuming the mask of a stranger, they can truly be themselves. Theyre more outspoken than they would dare in real time, confrontational, and downright rude.  Cybernetic road rage, what a rush it is, what an unwholesome addiction. What a wonderful and untapped playground for a predator.



That's from a short story I wrote for my undergraduate degree. The Message Board Murders:

View attachment $Message Board Murders.doc


----------



## jjreview

California Girl said:


> Friends, Romans, Countrymen....
> 
> I have to write ten articles - on absolutely any topic. I am kind of stuck on what else to write about. I've done all kinds of trival shit but I need to do some more. Anyone got any ideas? It can be as random as you like - all suggestions welcome. Only two are off limits - politics and economics - both of which I have done to death and I need to do some other shit for a change.
> 
> So, USMB, any ideas?



Seriously, you can't come up with any ideas?

1. Internet changes of language and writing, acceptable misspellings, certain rules are changing. For instance who/whom was a rule that was already clinging by a thread -- now it's just a historical footnote. I noticed the difference between how and why was long ago dead, before the internet ("Why am I an asshole?" "I don't have any clue why you're an asshole!" "I mean ... HOW am I an asshole?" "Oh, because you tripped that old lady")

2. The internet and electronic age have also changed cliches. But I can't think of any now. A cliche would be a simile. The one that I use that I have never been able to come up with a modern eq. is "the pot calling the kettle black." For some reason, I can't think of anything else to say.

3. Microcosm/macrocosm economic relationship. What can someone do in this economy to protect him or herself from the broader macro trend, such as the weakening of the dollar. Commercials are trying to get you to sell your gold, but this would be a HUGE mistake. You're a chick. So think chick things. That I know nothing about. But girls are better with money, or so I'm told.

4. Law and order. They are arresting 6 year old girls in new york for writing on desks. The law as a medium of intersocial relationship just doesn't work! Do we all have to go to jail before we are able to see that we are able to relate to each other and forgive each other?

5. DRM, hollywood, and file sharing. The internet has balkanized the entertainment market into a million plus niche markets. Hollywood, as an entertainment manufacturer, long ago hit the panic button. Big blockbusters long ago died. They are fewer and farther between (avatar). Write about that.

6. I noticed a high sexualization of words. "Women come first" used to mean ... you know, opening a door for a woman. Now it means something totally different. Cream pie used to mean a cream pie, now it means ... you know what it means. We have innuendos in broad daylight. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but you have to ask yourself where it comes from. Why is there such an enormous porn culture? Google "juice" or "tight" ... or "box" ... words that used to mean juice and tight ... and box ... or WORSE, just Google "teen." So what percentage of teens are over 18? 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 ... that's 2/7 or 28%. Yet the word teen in google ... so how is it that the word teen is hugely sexualized yet sex is only legal in 28% of the usage of the word?

That's all I got.


----------



## California Girl

jjreview said:


> California Girl said:
> 
> 
> 
> Friends, Romans, Countrymen....
> 
> I have to write ten articles - on absolutely any topic. I am kind of stuck on what else to write about. I've done all kinds of trival shit but I need to do some more. Anyone got any ideas? It can be as random as you like - all suggestions welcome. Only two are off limits - politics and economics - both of which I have done to death and I need to do some other shit for a change.
> 
> So, USMB, any ideas?
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Seriously, you can't come up with any ideas?
> 
> 1. Internet changes of language and writing, acceptable misspellings, certain rules are changing. For instance who/whom was a rule that was already clinging by a thread -- now it's just a historical footnote. I noticed the difference between how and why was long ago dead, before the internet ("Why am I an asshole?" "I don't have any clue why you're an asshole!" "I mean ... HOW am I an asshole?" "Oh, because you tripped that old lady")
> 
> 2. The internet and electronic age have also changed cliches. But I can't think of any now. A cliche would be a simile. The one that I use that I have never been able to come up with a modern eq. is "the pot calling the kettle black." For some reason, I can't think of anything else to say.
> 
> 3. Microcosm/macrocosm economic relationship. What can someone do in this economy to protect him or herself from the broader macro trend, such as the weakening of the dollar. Commercials are trying to get you to sell your gold, but this would be a HUGE mistake. You're a chick. So think chick things. That I know nothing about. But girls are better with money, or so I'm told.
> 
> 4. Law and order. They are arresting 6 year old girls in new york for writing on desks. The law as a medium of intersocial relationship just doesn't work! Do we all have to go to jail before we are able to see that we are able to relate to each other and forgive each other?
> 
> 5. DRM, hollywood, and file sharing. The internet has balkanized the entertainment market into a million plus niche markets. Hollywood, as an entertainment manufacturer, long ago hit the panic button. Big blockbusters long ago died. They are fewer and farther between (avatar). Write about that.
> 
> 6. I noticed a high sexualization of words. "Women come first" used to mean ... you know, opening a door for a woman. Now it means something totally different. Cream pie used to mean a cream pie, now it means ... you know what it means. We have innuendos in broad daylight. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but you have to ask yourself where it comes from. Why is there such an enormous porn culture? Google "juice" or "tight" ... or "box" ... words that used to mean juice and tight ... and box ... or WORSE, just Google "teen." So what percentage of teens are over 18? 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19 ... that's 2/7 or 28%. Yet the word teen in google ... so how is it that the word teen is hugely sexualized yet sex is only legal in 28% of the usage of the word?
> 
> That's all I got.
Click to expand...


Thanks. No need to get condescending about it. I write a lot so every so often I hit a wall of what to do next.


----------



## Big Black Dog

1.  First kiss.
2.  Funniest event in a public place.
3.  Best pet you ever had.
4.  Bad hair day.
5.  First airplane ride.
6.  Favorite ice cream.


----------

