# Child Marriages



## Coyote (Aug 16, 2016)

Are still far to common.  I just heard this story, on NPR.  The best way to try to curtail these marriages is via education, educating the girls and making families realize there is VALUE in an educated girl beyond simply marriage.

It's a complex problem - social pressure, poverty, etc. enter in to it and in most of the societies where it is still occurring, women have little value - even to the point of infanticide for girl babies. 

I thought this was interesting because of the way they are trying to change attitudes in these small villages, and what charities are doing to keep these girls in school and out of early marriage.  India has laws against child marriage, but they are difficult to enforce or just not enforced, particularly out in the rural areas.

The first story is how the father of a child bride then decided to try to save her and end the practice.

A Father Vows To Save His Daughter From A Marriage He Forced Her Into

_...At first, he says, the resistance seemed insurmountable. "The fear is that if a girl studies she'll have a mind of her own," says Lumbaram.


Lumbaram would counter that with a little schooling, your girl can earn money. She could get a job as a community health aide or a teacher or even a police officer. And, Lumbaram tells the other fathers, she'll gain a sense of self-confidence that is actually good to have — for example if her husband turns out to be an abusive drunk, an educated girl would not be afraid to speak up for herself. She would know her rights; she would tell you what's happening — even go to the police if need be.


The head of the charity that runs the boarding school, Mahendra Sharma, says Lumbaram has become an invaluable recruiter. "He is a kind of role model for his community," says Sharma.


This village has now sent more girls to the school than any other in the area — 35, all of them child brides. And earlier this year, Lumbaram persuaded a bunch of the fathers of young girls in the village to publicly declare that from now on they won't marry off any more underage daughters. "The mistake that I made," says Lumbaram. "No one else will repeat it."...
_​_Why This Child Bride Needs Good Grades: #15Girls

The number of women married before 15 in some of those countries is dismally high, and their future prospects are usually grim._


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## SassyIrishLass (Aug 16, 2016)

Sounds like poverty plays into it as well. I didn't realize infant girls were considered a curse in India.


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## Coyote (Aug 16, 2016)

SassyIrishLass said:


> Sounds like poverty plays into it as well. I didn't realize infant girls were considered a curse in India.




I think poverty plays a big part in it, along with traditions.  Girls are sometimes "sold" into marriage to pay off a debt for example.


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## SassyIrishLass (Aug 16, 2016)

I've been to India, the men treat women like second class citizens. I was with a company I worked for and was part of the lead in the group and the men from the Indian company had a lot of issues with that. The food was gross also.


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## Lucy Hamilton (Aug 16, 2016)

SassyIrishLass said:


> Sounds like poverty plays into it as well. I didn't realize infant girls were considered a curse in India.



*"I didn't realize infant girls were considered a curse in India."
*
Yes many are murdered, often by their parents.

The below website will explain all about  female infanticide and female foeticide in India and Pakistan.

I AM NIRBHAYA

*Indian Minister Says 2,000 Girls Are Killed Across the Country Every Day*

*Daughters are considered undesirable in India's highly patriarchal society*

*"Two thousand girls are killed in India every day, with many slain before or just after birth, the country’s Minister of Women and Child Development said on Monday.

“You have 2,000 girls who are killed in the womb every day,” Maneka Gandhi told news channel NDTV in an interview. “Some are born and have pillows on their faces choking them.”

Female infanticide is a historic problem in India’s highly patriarchal society, as daughters are often viewed as a burden because of the continuing prevalence of the dowry system."
*
Here's the rest of the article.

2,000 Girls Killed Daily in India: Minister

*A Deadly Preference For Male Offspring: The Killing Of Baby Girls In India And Pakistan*

Here's the rest of the article.

A Deadly Preference For Male Offspring: The Killing Of Baby Girls In India And Pakistan

Edited to add comment.


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## Coyote (Aug 21, 2016)

Syrian conflict: Untold misery of child brides - BBC News
_
There is an alarming rise in the number of Syrian refugee girls in Jordan being forced into early marriages, according to the new figures from the United Nations. 

As Orla Guerin reports from Zaatari refugee camp, poverty is forcing some families to effectively sell their daughters to much older men, and there is now an organised trade in young girls. 

In a prefabricated cabin in the sprawling camp, a girl, 13, sat on the floor engulfed by a frilly white dress, and a hooded silk cape. 

She was surrounded by children, not much younger than her, clapping and singing a nursery rhyme. 

What looked like a game of dressing-up was in fact her wedding reception. Her Mother looked on from a distance and wept - for her war torn homeland, and perhaps for her daughter. She asked us not to give their names.

*No choice*

Earlier, at a makeshift beauty salon, a fellow Syrian refugee curled the girl's hair and layered make-up on her face - the finishing touches to the end of a childhood. 

The bride told me her 25-year-old husband had been chosen by her family and she had never seen him before. She appeared relaxed, and said she was happy to be getting married. The reality is she had no choice.
_
*Almost one third ( 32% ) of refugee marriages in Jordan involve a girl under 18, according to the latest figures from Unicef. This refers to registered marriages, so the actual figure may be much higher. The rate of child marriage in Syria before the war was 13%. *
_

Some families marry off their daughters because of tradition. Others see a husband as protection for their daughters, but the UN says most are driven by poverty._​


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## irosie91 (Aug 22, 2016)

SassyIrishLass said:


> Sounds like poverty plays into it as well. I didn't realize infant girls were considered a curse in India.



I will explain   lass........  in India one of the biggest expenses a family faces is  MARRYING A GIRL OFF------the family has to pay for a massive wedding and giant bribes in the form of gifts to the groom AND HIS FAMILY-----they also have to get gold jewelry for the bride who has to be decorated from head to foot
with the stuff.  --------it is a weird kind of economy in gold----very important for a woman to have LOTS OF GOLD---she will need it later if she wants one of her daughters to get married----or if the stuff is needed for whatever if she manages to keep it out of the hands of  THE MOTHER-IN-LAW


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## irosie91 (Aug 22, 2016)

Coyote said:


> SassyIrishLass said:
> 
> 
> > Sounds like poverty plays into it as well. I didn't realize infant girls were considered a curse in India.
> ...



  ^^^^   more commonly a southeast Asian and arab muslim custom.    
Marriage for a muslim male is expensive-----HE has to come up with a  'bride price'  (mahr)-------and a big pile of gifts which is like another aspect of the 'bride price'------getting a boy married off is such an expense that getting a wife for FREE----is a big  PLUS  for a muslim family.   A free wife pays a debt---
to the family of the boy


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## anotherlife (Aug 22, 2016)

It is ridiculous how arrogant western feminism is. For 10000 years, you were supposed do give birth to at least 4 children between the age of 10 and 18.  Naturally.  But it is a good idea to stop them from giving birth because they are already so overcrowded that they must shoot each other all the way to Europe.


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## irosie91 (Aug 22, 2016)

anotherlife said:


> It is ridiculous how arrogant western feminism is. For 10000 years, you were supposed do give birth to at least 4 children between the age of 10 and 18.  Naturally.  But it is a good idea to stop them from giving birth because they are already so overcrowded that they must shoot each other all the way to Europe.



what does that have to do with  "western feminism"      Who is
"you"     in your construct of 4 kids between age 10 and 18?. 
For the record------in the old days---girls generally did not begin to menstruate before age 13-14.    Today's early menses is a function of better nutrition.     A girl is not generally  "fertile"  until about a year following the onset of menarche-------where does STOP them come in whilst they shoot themselves all the way to europe-------Mr Sharma is in India-----not the middle east


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## pwjohn (Aug 22, 2016)

SassyIrishLass said:


> I've been to India, the men treat women like second class citizens. I was with a company I worked for and was part of the lead in the group and the men from the Indian company had a lot of issues with that. The food was gross also.



You don't like curry stew


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## anotherlife (Aug 22, 2016)

irosie91 said:


> anotherlife said:
> 
> 
> > It is ridiculous how arrogant western feminism is. For 10000 years, you were supposed do give birth to at least 4 children between the age of 10 and 18.  Naturally.  But it is a good idea to stop them from giving birth because they are already so overcrowded that they must shoot each other all the way to Europe.
> ...


Why is the US age of consent 18?  In Canada it is 14.


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## irosie91 (Aug 22, 2016)

anotherlife said:


> irosie91 said:
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> > anotherlife said:
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So?     you made no point-----14 was about when girls a few
hundred years ago ----generally began to menstruate----My great grandmother got married at age 14-----it was a love thing.---that was about 130 years ago--(estimated)   SO??? 
so what?     what point did you make?    I have no idea if
she was literate----by the time she was 24 she had 10 children and then her husband died.    so?      is this supposed to be a norm ?


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## Coyote (Aug 22, 2016)

anotherlife said:


> irosie91 said:
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> > anotherlife said:
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In the US, it varies according to state.  In Canada it's 16.  In the US, it's 16-18.


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## anotherlife (Aug 23, 2016)

Coyote said:


> anotherlife said:
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> > irosie91 said:
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So this is all about filling jail intake quotas and parole / offender policing budgets.  I should have figured this earlier.  I wouldn't like to be black with a white girlfriend at class.  Hehe.


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## aris2chat (Sep 4, 2016)

irosie91 said:


> anotherlife said:
> 
> 
> > It is ridiculous how arrogant western feminism is. For 10000 years, you were supposed do give birth to at least 4 children between the age of 10 and 18.  Naturally.  But it is a good idea to stop them from giving birth because they are already so overcrowded that they must shoot each other all the way to Europe.
> ...




you forget girls being menses much younger in hot climates


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## aris2chat (Sep 4, 2016)

Coyote said:


> anotherlife said:
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> > irosie91 said:
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Girls in the US generally begin around age 12.  If they are more petite or underweight it might be another year or two before they begin.


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## irosie91 (Sep 4, 2016)

aris2chat said:


> irosie91 said:
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> > anotherlife said:
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that is true-----uhm... I did not actually forget----but a girl must reach a critical WEIGHT --before menses can commence---even in hot climates.   ------(for the record----I hated food----but my mom stuffed me INCESSANTLY ---I had an early menarche------for delay  STOP SHOVING FOOD DOWN THE MOUTHS OF YOUR RELUCTANT DAUGHTERS----better for them. as in WHO NEEDS IT AT AGE eleven????)


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## MarathonMike (Sep 4, 2016)

Regardless of when girls start to menstruate that does not mean they should be expected to enter marriage before age 15 especially if it is against their will. Heck at least this Indian Father felt remorse and is trying to make it right. Muslim Dads sell their 10 or 11 year old daughters to old sex perverts for a few sheep.


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## aris2chat (Sep 4, 2016)

MarathonMike said:


> Regardless of when girls start to menstruate that does not mean they should be expected to enter marriage before age 15 especially if it is against their will. Heck at least this Indian Father felt remorse and is trying to make it right. Muslim Dads sell their 10 or 11 year old daughters to old sex perverts for a few sheep.




Not to day but in ancient times it was very different

Bible, royal marriages...... it went on well into this last millennia.
It might be officially banned but it still goes on in many parts of the world, other than muslims

Even in the US children of 13 are being married depending on the state.

In NY


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## Coyote (Sep 4, 2016)

MarathonMike said:


> Regardless of when girls start to menstruate that does not mean they should be expected to enter marriage before age 15 especially if it is against their will. Heck at least this Indian Father felt remorse and is trying to make it right. Muslim Dads sell their 10 or 11 year old daughters to old sex perverts for a few sheep.


Not just Muslims, but Hindus and others sell daughters to pay off debts or for sheep.


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## irosie91 (Sep 5, 2016)

Coyote said:


> MarathonMike said:
> 
> 
> > Regardless of when girls start to menstruate that does not mean they should be expected to enter marriage before age 15 especially if it is against their will. Heck at least this Indian Father felt remorse and is trying to make it right. Muslim Dads sell their 10 or 11 year old daughters to old sex perverts for a few sheep.
> ...



There are economic manipulations in both hindu and muslim marriages----but they  are VERY DIFFERENT in nature.   It is the hindus who PAY  when a daughter marries and it is the muslims who PAY in order to GET a wife.   Getting a free wife is a biggie for muslims---not so for hindus


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## waltky (Nov 24, 2017)

Granny says is `cause dey's hot n' horney...





*Why Child Marriage Persists In Mexico*
_November 23, 2017 - A dozen young women sit in a stuffy, gnat-filled room in a community center in Coatecas Altas, part of Mexico's Oaxaca state._


> At first they're shy. But it doesn't take long for them to start talking about the pressures they face to marry at a young age.  "People will come up to me in the street and ask how old I am, and then they'll tell me I'm getting old," says Yolanda De la Cruz, 21.  Child marriage was banned in Mexico in 2014 and while rates of child marriage around the world have fallen in recent decades, the numbers in Mexico haven't moved much.  According to the UN Women data, 25 percent of Mexican women ages 50 to 54 say they married as children, while 21 percent of women 20 to 24 report the same — a small change over more than a generation.
> 
> Many of the women in Coatecas Altas were married before adulthood. Finishing school is a major challenge for them.  The women at the community center are tutors and students are part of a program that helps young women finish primary and secondary school online. It's funded through a federal initiative called Promajoven, Young Mothers Program, run by the INEA, the Adult Education Institute.  "The idea here is that women aren't meant to study, but rather raise kids," says Celestina Guzman, 20. "You'll get married so there's no reason to study. Your responsibility is the household."
> 
> ...


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## Natural Citizen (Nov 24, 2017)

Never let the hens read.


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## Natural Citizen (Nov 24, 2017)

Ha. No, I'm just kidding.


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## longknife (Nov 24, 2017)

Reaching puberty and the ability to have children has been a standard for marriage for thousands of years. It is only in some Western Societies that it is no longer considered "acceptable."

However, even here in the USA, the age of consent for marriage in low in some states.

Check out Age of marriage in the United States - Wikipedia


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## anotherlife (Nov 24, 2017)

Okay.  On a more serious note, child marriage is not always bad.  It motivates parents to raise their children to be as nice and good looking as possible.  In contrast, western society doesn't care if children will grow to have unhappy lives, even if they get 300 pounds fat and divorce every 3 years.


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