Advice fo' da Wimmins

[Dis]

Well, I really didn't mean "we" as in "ME," but rather, for "US."

Could you seriously hate a wimmin that would make you a really nice cheese burger?

You should see his collection of female voodooo dolls!

Are those what all those Nekkid Barbies are all about?

No, that's different.. The needles don't go through them that easily.. We aren't supposed to know about them, tho..

 

[AllieBaba]

On a side note, the terlit lid is just as easy for you to put down as it is for us to lift up.

Yeah, but the difference is...if we don't realize the toilet lid is up (late at night, early in the morning, usually) and we sit on it, we sit on the nasty cold rim, generally sprinkled with urine and pubic hair, and risk dunking our asses in the toilet water you probably neglected to flush.

 

[Samson]

Wimmins, you gotta understand somethin'

We don't really say "Sorry."

If we do, then we really don't mean it.

I know, I know.......you're thinking "But I tell my girlfriends "sorry" ALL THE TIME!!....And they tell ME they are "SORRY!!!"

See, that's 'cause you're wimmins. Wimmins tell each other they are sorry ALL THE TIME:
Examples:
"I'm sorry you're having a Bad Hair Day."
"I'm sorry you fell into the toilet"
"I'm sorry you have an idiot for a BF"

Men don't say shit about being "sorry" to another man unless he has REALLY FUCKED UP.

So, my advice to you wimmins: Don't expect us to say sorry, and if you do, then it had better be a MAJOR FUCK UP.

 

[dilloduck]

On a side note, the terlit lid is just as easy for you to put down as it is for us to lift up.

Yeah, but the difference is...if we don't realize the toilet lid is up (late at night, early in the morning, usually) and we sit on it, we sit on the nasty cold rim, generally sprinkled with urine and pubic hair, and risk dunking our asses in the toilet water you probably neglected to flush.

and y'all haven't learned by now ?

 

[PixieStix]

Where the hell are you wimmins meeting men?

I often wonder whether you un-box them, clean off all the styrofoam-peanuts, introduce them to your friends, THEN FIND OUT THEY ARE IDIOTS????

There are many guys that I don't hang out with. You know why?

Because they're idiots....

There are also wimmins that are idiots, but I'll overlook that if they have a tattoo.

I don't have any friends nor do I have a tattoo, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad. I am not much on talking about the people I love in a negative way. Maybe it is just because I am kind of private. Or maybe it is something more sinister?

I betting on sinister.

I can understand why you have no friends, but why no tattoo?

You understand why I have no friends? You mean a tramp stamp or a tattoo? just something that I ever saw the need for, I don't follow fads.

 

[Samson]

I don't have any friends nor do I have a tattoo, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad. I am not much on talking about the people I love in a negative way. Maybe it is just because I am kind of private. Or maybe it is something more sinister?

I betting on sinister.

I can understand why you have no friends, but why no tattoo?

You understand why I have no friends? You mean a tramp stamp or a tattoo? just something that I ever saw the need for, I don't follow fads.

All tattoos are not "tramp stamps"

Maybe if you had one you'd have a friend?

 

[AllieBaba]

The thing with female tats....

You get them when you're young and nubile, and they're lovely and draw attention to interesting parts of the body.

Unfortunately, as we age, they age as well, and that lovely butterfly tattoo you had next to your hip is suddenly stretched out of all recognition, covered by a layer of fat, and looks more like a contagious fungus than anything else.

 

[PixieStix]

I betting on sinister.

I can understand why you have no friends, but why no tattoo?

You understand why I have no friends? You mean a tramp stamp or a tattoo? just something that I ever saw the need for, I don't follow fads.

All tattoos are not "tramp stamps"

Maybe if you had one you'd have a friend?

Tattos, get ya friends?..oooo gottta go out to the local tat parlor, when I am old and saggy, I don't want a tattoo to have to contend with

I choose to not hang around with wimmins, cuz they sound like chickens when they are all talking at the same time

There are tattoos then their are tramp stamps, you know the one on the lower back all big and stuff

 

[AllieBaba]

Or terriers. Even more annoying. I can handle chickens and their gentle cluckings.

Terriers (and I know whereof I speak) evoke the desire to commit murder and suicide at the same time.

 

[PixieStix]

Where the hell are you wimmins meeting men?

I often wonder whether you un-box them, clean off all the styrofoam-peanuts, introduce them to your friends, THEN FIND OUT THEY ARE IDIOTS????

There are many guys that I don't hang out with. You know why?

Because they're idiots....

There are also wimmins that are idiots, but I'll overlook that if they have a tattoo.

I don't have any friends nor do I have a tattoo, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad. I am not much on talking about the people I love in a negative way. Maybe it is just because I am kind of private. Or maybe it is something more sinister?

I betting on sinister.

Because I choose not to air any dirty laundry or chastise someone in public? I am confused. Oh well. Live and let live I guess

 

[Samson]

Unfortunately, as we age, they age as well, and that lovely butterfly tattoo you had next to your hip is suddenly stretched out of all recognition, covered by a layer of fat, and looks more like a contagious fungus than anything else.

Another piece of Advice fo' da wimmins:

Men are much less critical than you are. What you see as a "contageous fungus" reminds us of what you were.

Tattos, get ya friends?..oooo gottta go out to the local tat parlor, when I am old and saggy, I don't want a tattoo to have to contend with

I choose to not hang around with wimmins, cuz they sound like chickens when they are all talking at the same time

There are tattoos then their are tramp stamps, you know the one on the lower back all big and stuff

Of course I KNOW "the one on the lower back all big and stuff!!!"

Or terriers. Even more annoying. I can handle chickens and their gentle cluckings.

Terriers (and I know whereof I speak) evoke the desire to commit murder and suicide at the same time.

Groups of wimmins make men nervous. I don't know if its the clucking, yapping, or whatever.

Advice to Wimmins: Don't stay with the group if you wanna met men.

 

[Samson]

I don't have any friends nor do I have a tattoo, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad. I am not much on talking about the people I love in a negative way. Maybe it is just because I am kind of private. Or maybe it is something more sinister?

I betting on sinister.

Because I choose not to air any dirty laundry or chastise someone in public? I am confused. Oh well. Live and let live I guess

No.

Because you mentioned it.

Methinks there's a secret PixieStix that lives in a hut with dried phalli, and boils cauldrons of testicles under a full moon!!!

 

[PixieStix]

I betting on sinister.

Because I choose not to air any dirty laundry or chastise someone in public? I am confused. Oh well. Live and let live I guess

No.

Because you mentioned it.

Methinks there's a secret PixieStix that lives in a hut with dried phalli, and boils cauldrons of testicles under a full moon!!!

Yes me is a witch, don't tell anyone shhhh

 

[Againsheila]

The thing with female tats....

You get them when you're young and nubile, and they're lovely and draw attention to interesting parts of the body.

Unfortunately, as we age, they age as well, and that lovely butterfly tattoo you had next to your hip is suddenly stretched out of all recognition, covered by a layer of fat, and looks more like a contagious fungus than anything else.

rotflol

When I had to go in for radiation for my breast cancer, they put 3 small tattoos on my body, I asked her to make them roses and she says they are, you just need a magnifying glass to tell,

 

[AllieBaba]

Unfortunately, as we age, they age as well, and that lovely butterfly tattoo you had next to your hip is suddenly stretched out of all recognition, covered by a layer of fat, and looks more like a contagious fungus than anything else.

Another piece of Advice fo' da wimmins:

Men are much less critical than you are. What you see as a "contageous fungus" reminds us of what you were.

Tattos, get ya friends?..oooo gottta go out to the local tat parlor, when I am old and saggy, I don't want a tattoo to have to contend with

I choose to not hang around with wimmins, cuz they sound like chickens when they are all talking at the same time

There are tattoos then their are tramp stamps, you know the one on the lower back all big and stuff

Of course I KNOW "the one on the lower back all big and stuff!!!"

Or terriers. Even more annoying. I can handle chickens and their gentle cluckings.

Terriers (and I know whereof I speak) evoke the desire to commit murder and suicide at the same time.

Groups of wimmins make men nervous. I don't know if its the clucking, yapping, or whatever.

Advice to Wimmins: Don't stay with the group if you wanna met men.

Thanks, honey. I don't want to be appreciated for what I was 30 years ago. I want to be appreciated for what I am now.

Actually, I don't give a shit. I appreciate myself, so it's moot. But this is the advice I give to girls who are obsessed with their own beautiful bodies...if you want a tat, go for it. But if you're just getting one becuase it's "pretty" remember, in time, it won't be.

 

[Samson]

Because I choose not to air any dirty laundry or chastise someone in public? I am confused. Oh well. Live and let live I guess

No.

Because you mentioned it.

Methinks there's a secret PixieStix that lives in a hut with dried phalli, and boils cauldrons of testicles under a full moon!!!

Yes me is a witch, don't tell anyone shhhh

Most wimmins wish they were you.

 

[PixieStix]

No.

Because you mentioned it.

Methinks there's a secret PixieStix that lives in a hut with dried phalli, and boils cauldrons of testicles under a full moon!!!

Yes me is a witch, don't tell anyone shhhh

Most wimmins wish they were you.

So most women want to be witches?
That reminds me of Ann Rice's book

"The Witching Hour" reminds me of my childhood

 

[Samson]

Unfortunately, as we age, they age as well, and that lovely butterfly tattoo you had next to your hip is suddenly stretched out of all recognition, covered by a layer of fat, and looks more like a contagious fungus than anything else.

Another piece of Advice fo' da wimmins:

Men are much less critical than you are. What you see as a "contageous fungus" reminds us of what you were.



Of course I KNOW "the one on the lower back all big and stuff!!!"

Or terriers. Even more annoying. I can handle chickens and their gentle cluckings.

Terriers (and I know whereof I speak) evoke the desire to commit murder and suicide at the same time.

Groups of wimmins make men nervous. I don't know if its the clucking, yapping, or whatever.

Advice to Wimmins: Don't stay with the group if you wanna met men.

Actually, I don't give a shit. .

Well, of course, this is good advice for humanity, not just wimmins:

Not giving a shit is really very enlightening, and makes it much easier to get through life.

 

[Samson]

Yes me is a witch, don't tell anyone shhhh

Most wimmins wish they were you.

So most women want to be witches?
That reminds me of Ann Rice's book

"The Witching Hour" reminds me of my childhood

Well, most wimmins would settle for an evening sitting under a full moon boiling testicles.

In fact, I'd encourage all wimmins to do this at least once a year, If you cannot find fresh testicles, just use eggs.

 

[Luissa]

Wimmin Folks.

To get along with the men folks you don't have to look great.

You need to know a very simple fact: Don't fucking critisize, or even correct us in public.

If you wanna bitch about us, don't do it with your little friends, do it to our face: FACE-TO-FACE.

If you want to "CHANGE" us, then ask us in private, and don't expect much.

Why does it matter what we have to do? Isn't it about what you need to do to make us happy, and return we will think about having sex with you.