emilynghiem
Constitutionalist / Universalist
I put this under race relations because it reminds me of friends who suffered rejection or disownment from family or friends because they dated or married biracially.
As a child of parents who got divorced, and put pressure on people to "take sides" between our parents we equally loved and respected, I think about how much it hurts people to hold on to our engrained divisions, against people of other groups, when they get torn in between loyalties because we don't give them the choice to keep both! Even liberal inclusionists who fault bigots as being racist, which reinforces the defensive justifications for people's beliefs, and doesn't address or alleviate the divisions; this hurts the relationships with people with friends from both groups that don't have to let their differences divide them as hateful enemies.
I respect and applaud the part below where the writer explains how the couple looks past their differences, which they acknowledge exist, and focus on areas they relate to in common. I have to do this a lot myself, and respect the effort it takes people to rise above.
I do encourage more of this approach and find that, lo and behold, some of those other differences can actually be resolved in that context of sharing as equal partners in a relationship (not enemies competing to discredit each other), similar to what these two men are going through despite the discouraging rejection of some friends.
Please think before you put yourself or someone you know in this situation of having to "choose" between people of different views who are afraid to associate and thus start disowning people caught in between, trying to avoid differences they are afraid to confront.
How sad, and I hope we can all do better than this in the future by what we learn from mixed situations like this! I am blessed to have friends who are open minded to try to accommodate me when I tell them I have friends of different political and religious views.
I realize what an advantage I have, and would want all people to have that support. Thanks!
As a child of parents who got divorced, and put pressure on people to "take sides" between our parents we equally loved and respected, I think about how much it hurts people to hold on to our engrained divisions, against people of other groups, when they get torn in between loyalties because we don't give them the choice to keep both! Even liberal inclusionists who fault bigots as being racist, which reinforces the defensive justifications for people's beliefs, and doesn't address or alleviate the divisions; this hurts the relationships with people with friends from both groups that don't have to let their differences divide them as hateful enemies.
I respect and applaud the part below where the writer explains how the couple looks past their differences, which they acknowledge exist, and focus on areas they relate to in common. I have to do this a lot myself, and respect the effort it takes people to rise above.
I do encourage more of this approach and find that, lo and behold, some of those other differences can actually be resolved in that context of sharing as equal partners in a relationship (not enemies competing to discredit each other), similar to what these two men are going through despite the discouraging rejection of some friends.
Politically Incorrect writes to Dear Abby said:
Dear Abby's Response said:
Please think before you put yourself or someone you know in this situation of having to "choose" between people of different views who are afraid to associate and thus start disowning people caught in between, trying to avoid differences they are afraid to confront.
How sad, and I hope we can all do better than this in the future by what we learn from mixed situations like this! I am blessed to have friends who are open minded to try to accommodate me when I tell them I have friends of different political and religious views.
I realize what an advantage I have, and would want all people to have that support. Thanks!
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