How to Win the Heart of that Special Someone...

[dilloduck]

Can you have more than one true love? I say no; not for me. There will always be that one love that will stand out in your mind for the rest of your life. You can't have more than one soul mate.

Did you marry him?

 

[PoliticalChic]

are we done with the last one ?

I disagree with you completely. As you may have already guessed, I was the woman and my husband was the man. He was persistent, never gave up. He persuaded me. I eventually ended up marrying him without anybody's consent, but our own. It was based on my belief that he was/is my soul mate and that I wouldn't be happy with anyone else.

 

[dilloduck]

are we done with the last one ?

I disagree with you completely. As you may have already guessed, I was the woman and my husband was the man. He was persistent, never gave up. He persuaded me. I eventually ended up marrying him without anybody's consent, but our own. It was based on my belief that he was/is my soul mate and that I wouldn't be happy with anyone else.

so you both willingly gave up you're family ties--false scenario

 

[PoliticalChic]

are we done with the last one ?

I disagree with you completely. As you may have already guessed, I was the woman and my husband was the man. He was persistent, never gave up. He persuaded me. I eventually ended up marrying him without anybody's consent, but our own. It was based on my belief that he was/is my soul mate and that I wouldn't be happy with anyone else.

so you both willingly gave up you're family ties--false scenario

Yes.

 

[RodISHI]

are we done with the last one ?

I disagree with you completely. As you may have already guessed, I was the woman and my husband was the man. He was persistent, never gave up. He persuaded me. I eventually ended up marrying him without anybody's consent, but our own. It was based on my belief that he was/is my soul mate and that I wouldn't be happy with anyone else.

Persistent is a key in staying together.

For Rod and I it was close to eight years before we were married. ( I was the one who would not marry. He asked on a regular basis for years then just quit asking me all the time. I was concerned about giving him those ownership papers). He would not give up.

One day he had a fit of anger and left. I was agitated enough at him I told him if that's what you want. He came back and slept on the couch for awhile. (The first ten years of our relationship was tough for him after he was hurt in an industrial accident and I was the major bread winner for some time. It was that man pride thing)

I have always had dogs and a year after we finally got married he was complaining about the dogs one day to my dad. (Rod grew up and the dogs were not allowed in the house. I grew up and we always had a dog in the house.) Dad told him, "Yea and you did not it was going to be like that did you?" Rod never bitched about the dogs again.

 

[PoliticalChic]

are we done with the last one ?

I disagree with you completely. As you may have already guessed, I was the woman and my husband was the man. He was persistent, never gave up. He persuaded me. I eventually ended up marrying him without anybody's consent, but our own. It was based on my belief that he was/is my soul mate and that I wouldn't be happy with anyone else.

Persistent is a key in staying together.

For Rod and I it was close to eight years before we were married. ( I was the one who would not marry. He asked on a regular basis for years then just quit asking me all the time. I was concerned about giving him those ownership papers). He would not give up.

One day he had a fit of anger and left. I was agitated enough at him I told him if that's what you want. He came back and slept on the couch for awhile. (The first ten years of our relationship was tough for him after he was hurt in an industrial accident and I was the major bread winner for some time. It was that man pride thing)

I have always had dogs and a year after we finally got married he was complaining about the dogs one day to my dad. (Rod grew up and the dogs were not allowed in the house. I grew up and we always had a dog in the house.) Dad told him, "Yea and you did not it was going to be like that did you?" Rod never bitched about the dogs again.

Great story. Rodishi, you have so many great stories, I'm beginning to think you're making some of them up. J/K.

You must be some gem!

Nobody outside the two of us believed in our relationship. But we've been married 15+ years and with kids. Our relationships with our families became better after the kids were born.

I think persistence is the key to relationships and so many other aspects of life. It's truly the key to success.

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. --Calvin Coolidge

I'll try to step down off my soap box.

 

[RodISHI]

I disagree with you completely. As you may have already guessed, I was the woman and my husband was the man. He was persistent, never gave up. He persuaded me. I eventually ended up marrying him without anybody's consent, but our own. It was based on my belief that he was/is my soul mate and that I wouldn't be happy with anyone else.

Persistent is a key in staying together.

For Rod and I it was close to eight years before we were married. ( I was the one who would not marry. He asked on a regular basis for years then just quit asking me all the time. I was concerned about giving him those ownership papers). He would not give up.

One day he had a fit of anger and left. I was agitated enough at him I told him if that's what you want. He came back and slept on the couch for awhile. (The first ten years of our relationship was tough for him after he was hurt in an industrial accident and I was the major bread winner for some time. It was that man pride thing)

I have always had dogs and a year after we finally got married he was complaining about the dogs one day to my dad. (Rod grew up and the dogs were not allowed in the house. I grew up and we always had a dog in the house.) Dad told him, "Yea and you did not it was going to be like that did you?" Rod never bitched about the dogs again.

Great story. Rodishi, you have so many great stories, I'm beginning to think you're making some of them up. J/K.

You must be some gem!

Nobody outside the two of us believed in our relationship. But we've been married 15+ years and with kids. Our relationships with our families became better after the kids were born.

I think persistence is the key to relationships and so many other aspects of life. It's truly the key to success.

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. --Calvin Coolidge

I'll try to step down off my soap box.

I think a more interesting question for people to ask is, "How do you know it is really true love?" That would cut a lot of the junk relationships out of the mix if people could take a look into themselves and ask that before they leap off the cliff into the abyss of a bad relationship.

Agreed persistence is a key. So is patience.

No reason to make stuff up. It is plausible to recall a lot though when you hit over fifty and life has been very interesting trip along the way. You haven't heard the horror stories that came before the true love.... It is all a part of growing.

 

[007]

Can you have more than one true love? I say no; not for me. There will always be that one love that will stand out in your mind for the rest of your life. You can't have more than one soul mate.

I'd say yes.

My first "true love" was when I was 18 up in Montana. A girl called Kitty, short for Katherine. I was madly in love with her. Took years to forget her.
My next "true love" was my second wife. I really screwed up when I threw her out. I wish I would have gotten back together with her when she asked. Course then I'd have never met my one and only nympho girl friend Dana.
Now I'm hoping that another "true love" comes down the line. I'll try to do what's right this time to make it last.

 

[Cecilie1200]

No, I'm saying you can "try to hold on". That's not what love does, love just loves unconditionally.

I've never been able to subscribe to unconditional love. There have always been conditions in my relationships.

I love my children unconditionally. I don't always like them, and I sure as hell don't always approve of or support their actions, but I always love them. Likewise, I can't think of anything my husband would do that would make me stop loving him, although there are things he could do that would make me stop being his wife.

 

[Cecilie1200]

I have a fascination with Valentine's Day and with love in general. I loved the story of Snow White as a child...

Lust is easy to find, but love is so elusive that once you find it, you don't want to let it go.

How do you hold onto it?

You can't, IMHO. Love is something that is given. It is a gift and all you can do is receive it. Trying to earn it destroys it.

You don't believe in persistence?

If you were really in love with someone, would you give up that easily?

You can't make someone love you if they're just not going to, but you can and should work at perpetuating love once you find it, and make a continuing effort to be worthy of it.

I've never understood people who treat love as though it's a wad of chewed gum on the sidewalk that you just randomly happen to step in, or a disease you happen to contract and have no control over, as though one is diagnosed with love the same way one is diagnosed with cancer. Infatuation may be viral, but love is a choice you make, and make repeatedly.

Every day of my marriage, I think - albeit mostly in the back of my mind - "This is the man I have chosen to spend my life with, who has chosen to spend his with me. I need to make him glad that we both made that choice." And then I do that, even if it's something as small as noticing that his favorite fruit is on sale when I go grocery shopping and stocking up on it.

In short, how do you make love last once you find it? You work at it.

 

[Cecilie1200]

Can you have more than one true love? I say no; not for me. There will always be that one love that will stand out in your mind for the rest of your life. You can't have more than one soul mate.

So what does that say for people who are widowed and then remarry? Their first spouse wasn't really their true love, or their second one isn't?

I don't believe in soppy romantic concepts like "true love" and "soul mates", at least not in that context. My husband is my true love and my soul mate because I have chosen for him to be and made that commitment, but if he - God forbid - died, I would certainly not pine away after him like some heroine in a Shakespearean tragedy, declaring that I could never love again, nor would I view my second husband as being somehow lesser or an inferior substitute.

 

[strollingbones]

i believe in soul mates...and yes you can have more than one..the secret to true love...i dont have a mothering clue...the secret to staying married to one man....o hell i can tell you all about that...you have to put others before yourself...at times...be it the man or the kids...and you have to let go of things..that go wrong...no one is perfect ...it may be easy to forgive but harder to forget...plus i think you need to understand when your mate evolves quicker or slower than you.

 

[editec]

I have a fascination with Valentine's Day and with love in general. I loved the story of Snow White as a child...

Lust is easy to find, but love is so elusive that once you find it, you don't want to let it go.

How do you hold onto it?

Confining them in a secret bunker you've built under your house seemed to work for that Austrian guy.

Then you just wait for the Stockholm syndrome to kick in.

What is your success rate on this?

If I told you that, it wouldn't be a secret bunker, now would it?

You clearly have a lot to learn about holding onto unconditional love.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Can you have more than one true love? I say no; not for me. There will always be that one love that will stand out in your mind for the rest of your life. You can't have more than one soul mate.

So what does that say for people who are widowed and then remarry? Their first spouse wasn't really their true love, or their second one isn't?

I don't believe in soppy romantic concepts like "true love" and "soul mates", at least not in that context. My husband is my true love and my soul mate because I have chosen for him to be and made that commitment, but if he - God forbid - died, I would certainly not pine away after him like some heroine in a Shakespearean tragedy, declaring that I could never love again, nor would I view my second husband as being somehow lesser or an inferior substitute.

I appreciate your thoughts on this. One can remarry, but I believe, people have a tendency to order their loves.

God forbid, any husbands dying, but I didn't picture you performing sati -- casting yourself on the funeral pyre.

 

[PoliticalChic]

Confining them in a secret bunker you've built under your house seemed to work for that Austrian guy.

Then you just wait for the Stockholm syndrome to kick in.

What is your success rate on this?

If I told you that, it wouldn't be a secret bunker, now would it?

You clearly have a lot to learn about holding onto unconditional love.

Yes, I better take notes...

 

[dilloduck]

Persistent is a key in staying together.

For Rod and I it was close to eight years before we were married. ( I was the one who would not marry. He asked on a regular basis for years then just quit asking me all the time. I was concerned about giving him those ownership papers). He would not give up.

One day he had a fit of anger and left. I was agitated enough at him I told him if that's what you want. He came back and slept on the couch for awhile. (The first ten years of our relationship was tough for him after he was hurt in an industrial accident and I was the major bread winner for some time. It was that man pride thing)

I have always had dogs and a year after we finally got married he was complaining about the dogs one day to my dad. (Rod grew up and the dogs were not allowed in the house. I grew up and we always had a dog in the house.) Dad told him, "Yea and you did not it was going to be like that did you?" Rod never bitched about the dogs again.

Great story. Rodishi, you have so many great stories, I'm beginning to think you're making some of them up. J/K.

You must be some gem!

Nobody outside the two of us believed in our relationship. But we've been married 15+ years and with kids. Our relationships with our families became better after the kids were born.

I think persistence is the key to relationships and so many other aspects of life. It's truly the key to success.

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. --Calvin Coolidge

I'll try to step down off my soap box.

I think a more interesting question for people to ask is, "How do you know it is really true love?" That would cut a lot of the junk relationships out of the mix if people could take a look into themselves and ask that before they leap off the cliff into the abyss of a bad relationship.

Agreed persistence is a key. So is patience.

No reason to make stuff up. It is plausible to recall a lot though when you hit over fifty and life has been very interesting trip along the way. You haven't heard the horror stories that came before the true love.... It is all a part of growing.

Agreed persistence is a key. So is patience.

That sounds a lot like deer hunting

 

[dilloduck]

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[editec]

WE all want UNCONDITIONAL love.

But only on the condition that it doesn't cost us too much, personally.

If you are seeking UNconsitional love, then you are clearly not ready for love at all.


You might as well begin a quest for a unicorn, because you'll have a better change of roping one of those than finding UNCONDITONAL love.

 

[PoliticalChic]

WE all want UNCONDITIONAL love.

But only on the condition that it doesn't cost us too much, personally.

If you are seeking UNconsitional love, then you are clearly not ready for love at all.


You might as well begin a quest for a unicorn, because you'll have a better change of roping one of those than finding UNCONDITONAL love.

Who said they were seeking unconditional love?

 

[Toro]

I've never been able to subscribe to unconditional love. There have always been conditions in my relationships.

I unconditionally love my son. That is very obvious to me.