Leave a joke, take a joke....

[Jackass]

Man...shut the fuck up already!! Geez!

 

[Sandy73]

Ok here is mine ...


How do the the Chinese say 69 ?





-----------------------------------


two can chew !!!!

 

[freeandfun1]

FUNNY AS SH*T!

 

[5stringJeff]

Here's a JOKE for you people already...

How many women does it takes to change a light bulb?

None... she can cook in the dark!!!!

 

[Sandy73]

Originally posted by gop_jeff
Here's a JOKE for you people already...

How many women does it takes to change a light bulb?

None... she can cook in the dark!!!!

That one deserves a fattie for you Mister !! SHe can cook real good !!!

 

[5stringJeff]

I don't have access to the Adults sections... so fattie away, I'm immune! :

So how many men odes it take to open a beer?

None... she should have it open b y the time she brings it to the couch!!!

 

[Sandy73]

Originally posted by gop_jeff
I don't have access to the Adults sections... so fattie away, I'm immune! :

So how many men odes it take to open a beer?

None... she should have it open b y the time she brings it to the couch!!!

Who says I need the Adult section !

 

[Joz]

Originally posted by nycflasher
.......Think about how a Mexican might feel to read a joke that finds humor in him being beaten........
But, as such, racists are racists.

Ok, and we told a Chinese joke. Maybe an Asian will be offended. And we told men jokes. Surely one of you will get pissed. And those women jokes. I don't think I can stand for that! And I'm sure some animal rights activist will get upset over the elephant & rhino joke. Oh, and there was an Irish joke in there somewhere, too.

So, I guess I'll just continue to offend:

1. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer.

2. What's the difference between a girl singer and a pirhana?

The lipstick.

3. What does a stripper do with her asshole before going to work?

She drops him off at band practice.

4. What's the difference between a drummer & a drum machine?

With the machine, you only have to punch in the information once.

5. Why are breaks limited to 20 minutes?

So you don't have to retrain the drummer.

I did this for Musicman because he is a fabulous musician..... drummer/singer/songwriter. But he also has a terrific sense of humor.

 

[Avatar4321]

Why did the Indian name his Toilet Paper John Wayne?

Because its rough, its tough, and it dont take no crap of no indian.

 

[Trinity]

A Mafia Boss finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten million bucks. The bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational benefit and the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that since a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd never have to testify in court.

When the Boss goes to shake down the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his consigliere (attorney), who knows sign language. The Boss asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?"

The consigliere, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million dollars is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you're talking about."

The consigliere tells the Boss: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Boss pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"

The consigliere signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Boss asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The consigliere replies: "He says you're too big of a wimp to pull the trigger."

 

[Trinity]

Subject: A SENIOR CITIZEN SPEAKS


(Make sure you read ALL of this poor persons letter)......




**I am a senior citizen. During the Clinton Administration I had an
extremely good and well paying job. I took numerous vacations and had several vacation homes.
Since President Bush took office, I have watched my entire life
change for the worse.

**I lost my job.**
**I lost my two sons in that terrible Iraqi War. **
**I lost my home. **
**I lost my health insurance. **
** **
** As a matter of fact, I lost virtually everything and became homeless. Adding insult to injury, when the authorities found me living like an animal, instead of helping me, they arrested me.

I will do anything to insure President Bush's defeat in the next
election.
I will do anything that Senator Kerry wants to insure that a Democrat is back in the White House come next year.

Bush has to go.

I just thought you and your listeners would like to know how one senior citizen views the Bush Administration.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.


Sincerely,

*Sadaam Hussein*

 

[fuzzykitten99]

Originally posted by Joz
Ok, and we told a Chinese joke. Maybe an Asian will be offended. And we told men jokes. Surely one of you will get pissed. And those women jokes. I don't think I can stand for that! And I'm sure some animal rights activist will get upset over the elephant & rhino joke. Oh, and there was an Irish joke in there somewhere, too.

So, I guess I'll just continue to offend:

1. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer.

2. What's the difference between a girl singer and a pirhana?

The lipstick.

3. What does a stripper do with her asshole before going to work?

She drops him off at band practice.

4. What's the difference between a drummer & a drum machine?

With the machine, you only have to punch in the information once.

5. Why are breaks limited to 20 minutes?

So you don't have to retrain the drummer.

I did this for Musicman because he is a fabulous musician..... drummer/singer/songwriter. But he also has a terrific sense of humor.

LOL...these are great!...flasher can't seem to just kick back and laugh at life.