Should House Guests Feel Responsible?

[Carl in Michigan]

A lot of the time I go over and spend the weekend at my fiancee's

Apparently she doesn't know the difference between a "guest" and "family."

If I saw something needed to be done, I'd DO IT without bitching. But then I'm kinder than you

 

[Road Runner]

If I saw something needed to be done, I'd DO IT without bitching. But then I'm kinder than you

Yeah,... Riiigggghhhttt,... and I never complained about anything. They just don't expect anything out of me when I'm over there is all.

 

[Road Runner]

Btw Death Angel remember in my OP when I said that I offered to help with the dishes and they said no? I'm just not going to pick up cat poop that isn't my responsibility to do.

 

[badbob85037]

So, this is a current debate over at my house. A lot of the time I go over and spend the weekend at my fiancee's. Last weekend I made Christmas cookies for him and his family. I offered to help him with the dishes, but he told me that I was the guest so he would take care of it.


Now I'm being told that I should have done it anyways as well as pick up the cat poop after some of his kittens went to the bathroom in his room and that I would expect him to help out if he spent the night over my house. I say that both of those things are completely ridiculous and a house guest shouldn't have to feel responsible at all unless they actually volunteer to help out due to the kindness of their hearts.


And truth be told his kittens are cute and soft to touch but I still don't really like them that much and that's coming from a cat person. I tolerate them, I just don't like becoming a scratching post/chew toy especially when I'm trying to cook and or eat. Why should I be responsible for animals that aren't mine and I don't really like all that much anyways?

It sounds as if you were more the maid then a house guest. Maybe you should think twice about wanting to spend the rest of your life with the guy and next time tell him to clean up his own cat shit.

 

[Carl in Michigan]

It sounds as if you were more the maid then a house guest. Maybe you should think twice about wanting to spend the rest of your life with the guy and next time tell him to clean up his own cat shit.

He is probably a thinking the same thing.

 

[Harpy Eagle]

A lot of the time I go over and spend the weekend at my fiancee's.

 

[Moonglow]

My Amana dishwasher does the dishes at my house.

 

[Moonglow]

View attachment 736739

Caught them again I see.

 

[Fueri]

Obligated, no. Nice to help out, or bake cookies or whatever, but I wouldn't pick up someone's pet's shit anymore than I would change one of their kid's diapers.

I also would be ignoring anything some rando said to me on the web regarding a relationship they know nothing about.

 

[JoeMoma]

At your finance's house you should be viewed as family and not a guest, and in such situations you don't offer to help with dishes you just pick up a towel, clear table or do whatever needs to be done.

My thoughts exactly. If you two are engaged to be married then you should be well beyond the "guest" stage or your relationship.

 

[Road Runner]

It sounds as if you were more the maid then a house guest. Maybe you should think twice about wanting to spend the rest of your life with the guy and next time tell him to clean up his own cat shit.

1. I already told you guys that he never said it and it was actually another family member.

2. No, I love him.

He is probably a thinking the same thing.

WRONG!!! He loves me just as much and doesn't expect anything from me.

 

[Leo123]

So, this is a current debate over at my house. A lot of the time I go over and spend the weekend at my fiancee's. Last weekend I made Christmas cookies for him and his family. I offered to help him with the dishes, but he told me that I was the guest so he would take care of it.


Now I'm being told that I should have done it anyways as well as pick up the cat poop after some of his kittens went to the bathroom in his room and that I would expect him to help out if he spent the night over my house. I say that both of those things are completely ridiculous and a house guest shouldn't have to feel responsible at all unless they actually volunteer to help out due to the kindness of their hearts.


And truth be told his kittens are cute and soft to touch but I still don't really like them that much and that's coming from a cat person. I tolerate them, I just don't like becoming a scratching post/chew toy especially when I'm trying to cook and or eat. Why should I be responsible for animals that aren't mine and I don't really like all that much anyways?

What?! No way am I going to clean up catshit for somebody else’s cats in somebody else’s house! As far as dishes, you offered, you help was denied that should have been the end of it.

My wife’s family gives up their own bedroom to guests. I told her we would not be doing that, THEY will sleep in the guest room, that’s why it’s called that.

 

[Carl in Michigan]

My thoughts exactly. If you two are engaged to be married then you should be well beyond the "guest" stage or your relationship.

Exactly. She SHOULD be calling herself "family" and not "guest"

Her choice of words is very revealing