Lord Long Rod
Diamond Member
- Jan 17, 2023
- 7,706
- 8,122
- 2,138
- Banned
- #1
Grandpa passed away earlier in November. We buried him a week before Thanksgiving, then we all gathered at his house for the Thanksgiving holiday to keep grandma company and remember grandpa.
Of course, I loved grandpa. He is a watch aficionado just like myself. In fact, he taught me about how to grease the cocks of the luxury ADs for optimum waitlist positioning. Grandpa owned my grail: a Patek Nautilus. It should be mine by right via inheritance. The rest of the family have shit tastes in watches, opting to wear Fossil and other battery powered empty shells of fraudulent horology.
I played my desire for the Patek close to the vest all weekend. I was aware of protocol (wait a certain time, etc…). But I finally decided that I could not risk it any longer. So, the day before Thanksgiving I asked grandma if I could have grandpa’s Patek. She laughed at me and said “Son, that watch is worth over a 100 grand! I’m going to sell that damned thing and buy me a condo in one of them fancy retirement communities in Florida. You know, where the old folks hook up and have geriatric orgies?”
I was full of rage! How dare she!! That was MY watch!! There was no way I was going to allow this old bitch to sell grandpa’s Patek. I owed it to grandpa to put a stop to this travesty. So I devised a plan.
I snuck off on Thanksgiving day and got some of grandpa’s clothes, his fedora, shoes, moth eaten sweater, and pipe. I was going to dress up like grandpa then wake up grandma in the middle of the night. She would think I was grandpa’s ghost, have a heart attack, then die. Then, with her out of the way, I can legally gain entry into her and grandpa’s safe deposit box (where the Patek Naughty is stored).
The disguise was perfect! I genuinely resembled grandpa. Mix some darkness in, and I was his spitting image! At around 3:00 am I went into grandma’s bedroom. She was sound asleep. It was my time to strike!! I started making ghost sounds like “Oooooooooooohhhh!!!!”. Nothing worked. She would not wake up. Finally, I whacked grandma on her head and made some more spooky sounds. Now she woke up!
She saw me standing over her, looking just like grandpa. She immediately shot straight up in bed. “MAURY !!! Is that you?!?”, she asked. I replied in a ghostly voice, “Yes, grandma, it’s me, your husband, Maury”. Grandma said she was so glad to see me and that she missed me so much.
Then grandma did something unexpected. She lunged at me, getting me in her arms and pulling me close to her. Then she said “Oh Maury, I need you so much. I need you inside of me. Fuck me, Maury. Fuck me hard, like an animal.” It was at this point that I first started regretting my decision.
Grandma’s right hand found my groin and started rubbing my cock. Despite my utter revulsion, the situation was what it was. If you rub a wang it gets hard. Pretty soon I was rigid. Grandma felt it. Then she took it a step further. She started blowing me. After a moment I finally got what it was like to have an older woman take out her dentures for you and aggressively gum your stump. Incredible. But I digress.
Now, of course, I wanted to put a stop to this. My brain was running all sorts of calculations on probabilities and risks of putting a halt to this grossness. The fact was, I was scared of grandma finding out it was me. The embarrassment for both of us would be devastating.
I started thinking that maybe if I just fucked grandma she would thereafter fall asleep. I could then sneak away and kill myself. The next morning she would think it was just a dream. This was the plan I went with.
However, things got a lot worse before they got better. It turns out that grandma had quite a labido. It also turned out that that poor grandpa had some pretty disturbing kinks, like having his nads stomped on by grandma while she wore high heels. He apparently was also into pegging and being choked into unconsciousness. In fact, the dizziness and confusion I suffered over the next couple days suggest that my brain suffered from oxygen deprivation.
When I finally came to it was 7:00 am. Grandma was passed out next to me with a dildo in her mouth. I felt sick. I noticed that there was blood puddled up around me. Upon investigation I discovered the blood was coming from my asshole. I cried. Then I pulled myself together, and with a quickly hardening determination I decided that I was going to get grandpa’s Patek…at any cost!!
I pushed the dildo a little further down grandma’s throat as I covered her face with a pillow. I braced for resistance, but none came. I realized that grandma was already dead. I guessed that I had fucked grandma to death! I smiled with pride. I am unsure what to make of my involuntary response of pride, but I just let it go.
I quietly retrieved grandma’s hand-held Shark vacuum from her kitchen and used it to suck up all the DNA evidence from in and around grandma. Then I snuck out of her bedroom and went to my room.
My mother discovered grandma’s corpse. I guess it was too much for mom to lose both parents so close together. She suffered a nervous breakdown and had to be institutionalized immediately. Women, amIrite? LOL!!
I got ahold of my lawyer. I signed some papers, got the death certificates, and presto!! The bank allowed me access to the safe deposit box!! I was about to explode from the excitement building inside of me.
But my excitement was quickly dashed. The box was empty, completely. I was dumbstruck. After I composed myself I went to talk to one of the bank officers about this. I found a Vice President of the bank who told me what happened. “Ah yes, Bertha came in about a week ago. She said she wanted to sell a certain watch stored in her safe deposit box so, in her words, ‘that sneaky little shit grandson doesn’t steal it from her.”
The VP looked at me and asked, “I take it that YOU are that sneaky little shit?” I nodded. “Hmmmmm…. Well, the Nautilus is gone. Bertha sold it and then used the proceeds to buy a condo in Florida at a place called ‘Horny Acres’. I guess you can try to sell the condo to recoup some inheritance”, said the banker. Then he walked away.
Epilogue
I did use the condo in Florida to recoup some of my inheritance. I did not get enough to replace the Patek. However, I did get enough to buy a Rollie Daytona! I could not sell the condo due to the shitty economy. So I moved into it instead and whored myself out to the senior community! I made big bank slinging my cock around those old women (and men)!
Of course, I loved grandpa. He is a watch aficionado just like myself. In fact, he taught me about how to grease the cocks of the luxury ADs for optimum waitlist positioning. Grandpa owned my grail: a Patek Nautilus. It should be mine by right via inheritance. The rest of the family have shit tastes in watches, opting to wear Fossil and other battery powered empty shells of fraudulent horology.
I played my desire for the Patek close to the vest all weekend. I was aware of protocol (wait a certain time, etc…). But I finally decided that I could not risk it any longer. So, the day before Thanksgiving I asked grandma if I could have grandpa’s Patek. She laughed at me and said “Son, that watch is worth over a 100 grand! I’m going to sell that damned thing and buy me a condo in one of them fancy retirement communities in Florida. You know, where the old folks hook up and have geriatric orgies?”
I was full of rage! How dare she!! That was MY watch!! There was no way I was going to allow this old bitch to sell grandpa’s Patek. I owed it to grandpa to put a stop to this travesty. So I devised a plan.
I snuck off on Thanksgiving day and got some of grandpa’s clothes, his fedora, shoes, moth eaten sweater, and pipe. I was going to dress up like grandpa then wake up grandma in the middle of the night. She would think I was grandpa’s ghost, have a heart attack, then die. Then, with her out of the way, I can legally gain entry into her and grandpa’s safe deposit box (where the Patek Naughty is stored).
The disguise was perfect! I genuinely resembled grandpa. Mix some darkness in, and I was his spitting image! At around 3:00 am I went into grandma’s bedroom. She was sound asleep. It was my time to strike!! I started making ghost sounds like “Oooooooooooohhhh!!!!”. Nothing worked. She would not wake up. Finally, I whacked grandma on her head and made some more spooky sounds. Now she woke up!
She saw me standing over her, looking just like grandpa. She immediately shot straight up in bed. “MAURY !!! Is that you?!?”, she asked. I replied in a ghostly voice, “Yes, grandma, it’s me, your husband, Maury”. Grandma said she was so glad to see me and that she missed me so much.
Then grandma did something unexpected. She lunged at me, getting me in her arms and pulling me close to her. Then she said “Oh Maury, I need you so much. I need you inside of me. Fuck me, Maury. Fuck me hard, like an animal.” It was at this point that I first started regretting my decision.
Grandma’s right hand found my groin and started rubbing my cock. Despite my utter revulsion, the situation was what it was. If you rub a wang it gets hard. Pretty soon I was rigid. Grandma felt it. Then she took it a step further. She started blowing me. After a moment I finally got what it was like to have an older woman take out her dentures for you and aggressively gum your stump. Incredible. But I digress.
Now, of course, I wanted to put a stop to this. My brain was running all sorts of calculations on probabilities and risks of putting a halt to this grossness. The fact was, I was scared of grandma finding out it was me. The embarrassment for both of us would be devastating.
I started thinking that maybe if I just fucked grandma she would thereafter fall asleep. I could then sneak away and kill myself. The next morning she would think it was just a dream. This was the plan I went with.
However, things got a lot worse before they got better. It turns out that grandma had quite a labido. It also turned out that that poor grandpa had some pretty disturbing kinks, like having his nads stomped on by grandma while she wore high heels. He apparently was also into pegging and being choked into unconsciousness. In fact, the dizziness and confusion I suffered over the next couple days suggest that my brain suffered from oxygen deprivation.
When I finally came to it was 7:00 am. Grandma was passed out next to me with a dildo in her mouth. I felt sick. I noticed that there was blood puddled up around me. Upon investigation I discovered the blood was coming from my asshole. I cried. Then I pulled myself together, and with a quickly hardening determination I decided that I was going to get grandpa’s Patek…at any cost!!
I pushed the dildo a little further down grandma’s throat as I covered her face with a pillow. I braced for resistance, but none came. I realized that grandma was already dead. I guessed that I had fucked grandma to death! I smiled with pride. I am unsure what to make of my involuntary response of pride, but I just let it go.
I quietly retrieved grandma’s hand-held Shark vacuum from her kitchen and used it to suck up all the DNA evidence from in and around grandma. Then I snuck out of her bedroom and went to my room.
My mother discovered grandma’s corpse. I guess it was too much for mom to lose both parents so close together. She suffered a nervous breakdown and had to be institutionalized immediately. Women, amIrite? LOL!!
I got ahold of my lawyer. I signed some papers, got the death certificates, and presto!! The bank allowed me access to the safe deposit box!! I was about to explode from the excitement building inside of me.
But my excitement was quickly dashed. The box was empty, completely. I was dumbstruck. After I composed myself I went to talk to one of the bank officers about this. I found a Vice President of the bank who told me what happened. “Ah yes, Bertha came in about a week ago. She said she wanted to sell a certain watch stored in her safe deposit box so, in her words, ‘that sneaky little shit grandson doesn’t steal it from her.”
The VP looked at me and asked, “I take it that YOU are that sneaky little shit?” I nodded. “Hmmmmm…. Well, the Nautilus is gone. Bertha sold it and then used the proceeds to buy a condo in Florida at a place called ‘Horny Acres’. I guess you can try to sell the condo to recoup some inheritance”, said the banker. Then he walked away.
Epilogue
I did use the condo in Florida to recoup some of my inheritance. I did not get enough to replace the Patek. However, I did get enough to buy a Rollie Daytona! I could not sell the condo due to the shitty economy. So I moved into it instead and whored myself out to the senior community! I made big bank slinging my cock around those old women (and men)!
