Raynine
Gold Member
- Oct 28, 2023
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I haven't heard from my uncle Ezra for years but I got this letter from him yesterday. I think he is in a longterm care facility with an internet connection. Here's the letter unredacted:
Deere Ray,
i ben gittin sum distressin newz about yoo. Yoo wuz never one of the britest bulbz in the lamp and the famly new that. But now the men in the wite coats iz one step away from yore front door. Yoo gut a big mowth and i seen that yeres ago. Wye cant yoo be like them peeple over ther in the sustainible city? They dont do no worryin about nothin! They let the guvamint take care of bizness! The guvamint iz good and everybuddy nose that! Them politishuns over ther to washington has all gut big harverd and yayle educashions! They yoose grate big words! Them peeple has gut the smarts reel good and yoo shood just shutt up and do what they say!
Wen that color-coded Obamma feller with the Musliim middle name gut missteeriyus collage educashions that nobuddy remembers him gittin cuz he said he wuz born in Africa, they dident miss no beet in coverin it up with a berth certifakit that looked like it wuz pulled frum a 1950's kracker jax box! Then they said, see? Proof he wuz born heer! Yoo can't git no smarter than that-cuz everybuddy bot it! It wuz like Mary Martin flyin over the peeple as Peter Pan and nobuddy seen the wires! See? Thats how proppa gandda works and proppa gandda is good cuz it helps the guvamint! Did i tell yoo the guvamint is good? Yoo wuz never no good lissener!
All-of-a-suddin the power went to there branes and they cum up new helthcare for all! Did i tell yoo that thoze peeple in Washington is as clever as foxes? Out of the bloo they cum up with teknikalities for thereselfs to git out of wat they said wuz the same helthcare fore eech from top to bottum. Them offishuls was gittin country club helthcare the rest of us wuz never gonna see so they swung into aktshun with them harverd and yayle educashuns and took care of bizness!
Tooday wen it cums to helthcare they git the Cadillac, the rest of us git the rickshaw! Thats wat harverd and Yayle will do for a body theze daze! And they gut there own underground shelters to run to wen the big bombs fall after they git more wars goin! Nobuddy wants the countree to go without grand leedership if it all goes to hell! See? Them peeple in the kapitol iz showin us wat guvamint luv is all about! And yoo are ungratefull!
Yoo should lissen to them peeple over ther in the susainible city-they are all up in a rage over guvamint luv! They beleev with all ther harts that guvamint luv iz sustainible cuz the city is sustainible! Them local hacks made it that way in ther global wizdom! I seen a video wonce of a polar bare stuck on an iceberg and peeple over ther to the sustainible city power-cride therselfs to sleep! Proppa ganda shows iz alwaze populer in times like theez!
Guvamint luv had sum tuff sleddin with the rooskies back in 1989 and they tore down a wall cuz of it, but that iz just a miner deetail for the woke politishuns. They just konnect that trublemaker, Donald Trump to Lucifer like the rooskies done with ther dissadants and make up crimes to charge him with! Show triles has always ben a big attrakshun for guvamint luv to save itself!
Ther aint no zoos in the sustainible city like they had in venezwayla so i dont no wat the peeple is gonna eat wen the econamee goes down like Archee Bunkers flushin toilet, but i gut a feelin guvamint luv is gonna find us all homes neer ralerode tracks wen the food runs out. Sum of them homes look pretty good with barbed wire too keep out the riff raff. Guvamint-luv gaited comyunities is the way too go I gess! I seen that on Jessy Ventyuras show they took off the air for not bein nice to the guvamint back a few yeers ago!
i no the guvamint is gonna have a hard time with midnite votes in the comin elecshun cuz we seen that trick bofore. And we seen they are the gang that can't shoot strait! This aint like the old daze wen guvamint luv new how hit a bullzeye in 1963! But they gut other tricks up ther sleeves tooday! Yoo mite be gittin a visit frum the FBI cuz i just reportted you!
Yoo are fitin a loozin battle if yoo think they aint got no chance to pull off a viktory!
I say theez things for yore own good Ray-yoo better shut yore trap beefore it is to late!
sinceerely,
Uncle Ezra.
PS
If you wanna send a few bucks i aint gonna refuze it!
Deere Ray,
i ben gittin sum distressin newz about yoo. Yoo wuz never one of the britest bulbz in the lamp and the famly new that. But now the men in the wite coats iz one step away from yore front door. Yoo gut a big mowth and i seen that yeres ago. Wye cant yoo be like them peeple over ther in the sustainible city? They dont do no worryin about nothin! They let the guvamint take care of bizness! The guvamint iz good and everybuddy nose that! Them politishuns over ther to washington has all gut big harverd and yayle educashions! They yoose grate big words! Them peeple has gut the smarts reel good and yoo shood just shutt up and do what they say!
Wen that color-coded Obamma feller with the Musliim middle name gut missteeriyus collage educashions that nobuddy remembers him gittin cuz he said he wuz born in Africa, they dident miss no beet in coverin it up with a berth certifakit that looked like it wuz pulled frum a 1950's kracker jax box! Then they said, see? Proof he wuz born heer! Yoo can't git no smarter than that-cuz everybuddy bot it! It wuz like Mary Martin flyin over the peeple as Peter Pan and nobuddy seen the wires! See? Thats how proppa gandda works and proppa gandda is good cuz it helps the guvamint! Did i tell yoo the guvamint is good? Yoo wuz never no good lissener!
All-of-a-suddin the power went to there branes and they cum up new helthcare for all! Did i tell yoo that thoze peeple in Washington is as clever as foxes? Out of the bloo they cum up with teknikalities for thereselfs to git out of wat they said wuz the same helthcare fore eech from top to bottum. Them offishuls was gittin country club helthcare the rest of us wuz never gonna see so they swung into aktshun with them harverd and yayle educashuns and took care of bizness!
Tooday wen it cums to helthcare they git the Cadillac, the rest of us git the rickshaw! Thats wat harverd and Yayle will do for a body theze daze! And they gut there own underground shelters to run to wen the big bombs fall after they git more wars goin! Nobuddy wants the countree to go without grand leedership if it all goes to hell! See? Them peeple in the kapitol iz showin us wat guvamint luv is all about! And yoo are ungratefull!
Yoo should lissen to them peeple over ther in the susainible city-they are all up in a rage over guvamint luv! They beleev with all ther harts that guvamint luv iz sustainible cuz the city is sustainible! Them local hacks made it that way in ther global wizdom! I seen a video wonce of a polar bare stuck on an iceberg and peeple over ther to the sustainible city power-cride therselfs to sleep! Proppa ganda shows iz alwaze populer in times like theez!
Guvamint luv had sum tuff sleddin with the rooskies back in 1989 and they tore down a wall cuz of it, but that iz just a miner deetail for the woke politishuns. They just konnect that trublemaker, Donald Trump to Lucifer like the rooskies done with ther dissadants and make up crimes to charge him with! Show triles has always ben a big attrakshun for guvamint luv to save itself!
Ther aint no zoos in the sustainible city like they had in venezwayla so i dont no wat the peeple is gonna eat wen the econamee goes down like Archee Bunkers flushin toilet, but i gut a feelin guvamint luv is gonna find us all homes neer ralerode tracks wen the food runs out. Sum of them homes look pretty good with barbed wire too keep out the riff raff. Guvamint-luv gaited comyunities is the way too go I gess! I seen that on Jessy Ventyuras show they took off the air for not bein nice to the guvamint back a few yeers ago!
i no the guvamint is gonna have a hard time with midnite votes in the comin elecshun cuz we seen that trick bofore. And we seen they are the gang that can't shoot strait! This aint like the old daze wen guvamint luv new how hit a bullzeye in 1963! But they gut other tricks up ther sleeves tooday! Yoo mite be gittin a visit frum the FBI cuz i just reportted you!
Yoo are fitin a loozin battle if yoo think they aint got no chance to pull off a viktory!
I say theez things for yore own good Ray-yoo better shut yore trap beefore it is to late!
sinceerely,
Uncle Ezra.
PS
If you wanna send a few bucks i aint gonna refuze it!
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