One Liner Wednesday

[April]

 

[Bonzi]

guilty!

 

[Pogo]

And that is what we are here for, a fan base...

I am
Mine keeps tipping over

awesome one-liner!

Fan puns are so ... cool.

 

[Pogo]

"The world may be divided into two types of people:
those who divide people into two types, and those who do not".


--- kinda describes this board...

 

[Bonzi]

 

[easyt65]

SEX / RELATIONSHIP ONE-LINERS:

- "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer."


- "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."


- "I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"


- "There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away."

- 'My girlfriend and I finally had sex - she said she wanted me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt, so I gave her 4 inches 3 times and hit her with a brick."

 

[Bonzi]

SEX / RELATIONSHIP ONE-LINERS:

- "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer."


- "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."


- "I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"


- "There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away."

Nice.. I'm impressed...

 

[easyt65]

ONE-LINERS FOR THIS BOARD?

- "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."


- "Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."


- "I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."

 

[Bonzi]

 

[ClosedCaption]

My Wife told me to kiss her where it stinks, So I drove her to New Jersey

- Gilbert Godfreid

 

[easyt65]

WAR / CONFLICE ONE-LINERS:

- "War does not determine who is right - only who is left."


- "Fighting for peace is like $crewing for virginity."


- "Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat."

 

[Bonzi]

"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

Flame Zone Motto

 

[Bonzi]

My Wife told me to kiss her where it stinks, So I drove her to New Jersey

- Gilbert Godfreid

Love!

 

[easyt65]

'IRONY' / 'LIFE' ONE-LINERS

- "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."


- "Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?


- "How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?"

- "Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?"
(-- Because can you imagine 50 politicians, like HILLARY or Donald Trump in a swimsuit? Yikes!)


- "I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

AND FINALLY.....

- "I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila."

 

[ClosedCaption]

I know what a Sesame Seed is but what the hell is a Sesame?

- Mitch Hedberg

 

[Auld Phart]

I love to go to the doctor. Where else would a man look at me and say "Take off your clothes."?

 

[hortysir]

And that is what we are here for, a fan base...

I am
Mine keeps tipping over

awesome one-liner!

Fan puns are so ... cool.

I think they blow

 

[easyt65]

I know what a Sesame Seed is but what the hell is a Sesame?
- Mitch Hedberg

Yeah, it's sorta like I know what a Naugahyde couch is...but what is a Nauga...and how many Naugas does it take to make a naugahyde couch?
(How big are they? Are there any 'free-range' Naugas or are they all kept in pens? ...)

 

[April]

 

[Bonzi]