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Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: 'Nothing.'
Wife: 'Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
A Royal Marine is down to his last two rounds when he is presented with two clear targets, a Taliban and Gordon Brown. Who does he shoot first?
The Taliban of course, but why?
Answer: He is professional....business before pleasure!
The Mean Old USMB Software said:You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Bootneck again.
Man walks into a cafe. "Hey why did you sack my son"?
Owner replies, "Because he had the potato peeler stuck up his arse".
Man, "Show me this potato peeler".
Owner, "Can't - I sacked him too".