Abishai100
VIP Member
- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,957
- 250
Are you a fan of consumerism (e.g., Home Depot), or does it give you the willies?
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As Americans embraced the modern conveniences of consumerism such as Home Depot hardware-stores and Burger King fast-food restaurants, there was a brewing underworld current of evil, stirred by the Devil himself. This 'evil' would 'exploit' the natural sloth/gluttony in men neglecting prudence/temperance in this new age of cholesterol and caffeine. A new 'breed' of psychos was emerging, and they wielded the metaphysical evil of sandpaper...
As we all know, sandpaper is simply a type of coated abrasive paper that consists of sheets of paper (or loth) with abrasive material glued to one face. Sandpaper is used for construction/building purposes, since it's very useful in smoothing down layers of wood simply by rubbing down to streamline all protrusions (not unlike sharpening a pencil). Well, this new breed of psychos representative of this modernism 'evil' wielded sandpaper like a gang from hell. The psychos called themselves 'The Eaters' (since they believed they were 'eating' virtue in the name of Satan to condemn Home Depot stores and consumerism in general). The Eaters believed in an anarchy-dominion on Earth and were devoted to violence. They murdered 100 policemen across America --- shooting them and then sanding the skin off their arms and leaving the arm-skinned corpses on roads for 'witnesses' to find.
American horror-film makers of the new era were experimenting with radical themes/ideas reflective of this modern age of great spiritual contradictions (e.g., gluttony and sloth) and complications (e.g., heresy, apathy). The Eaters watched these unusual/eccentric films and enjoyed them but also used them as 'inspiration' for performing all kinds of 'copycat crimes.' Since the Eaters believed their sandpaper was a kind of 'spiritual weapon' in service for the Devil, the FBI was forced to monitor all kinds of consumer activity near Home Depot hardware-stores across the nation.
As the FBI (and an idealistic young detective working for the FBI named Will Peters) pursued the Eaters, the Devil released an army of evil 'elves' (minions --- fallen angels --- of hell manifested on Earth as miniature impish humanoid elves) to haunt Home Depot stores across America. These 'evil elves' symbolized a modern era 'malevolence' --- very real and very eerie. Suddenly, consumers were frightened to go shopping and were pensive when they went to the ATM for a Burger King purchase. The evil elves were the 'guardian minions' of the Eaters, and Will Peters consulted with a Catholic priest in Georgetown and obtained confirmation that the Eaters may indeed be in spiritual league with Satan. The evil elves therefore enhanced the deranged 'mission' of the Eaters.
After much detective-work, FBI agent Will Peters decided to hype the classic video-game Golden Axe, which presented a fantasy-world of combat and adventure and wondrous luminous weapons, anonymously in the Washington Post. Peters intended to offer courage and hope to consumers in America now panicking because of the crime-spree of the eerie Eaters. Peters wrote, "We can't allow these unusual criminals to invade our social sense of consumer activities, such as the purchasing of combat-oriented video-games for our kids!" Golden Axe became a rallying-point for an America depressed by consumerism-hysteria created by the Eaters.
After some time, the Eaters were arrested or surrendered, as Peters' clever tactics and publicity campaign helped to assuage the American people while drawing out the Eaters into the open. Peters decided to retire to Virginia where he spent time building a house, bricklaying the walls himself. As Peter was doing the bricklaying, he remembered the evil sandpaper materialism of the Eaters and breathed a sigh of needed relief that the inhuman evil of the morbid Eaters was finally put to bed. Consumerism (and hence capitalism) was somehow salvaged.
A new Hollywood (USA) film was being planned by Brett Ratner which would depict the glorious deeds of FBI agent Will Peters, portraying him as a self-proclaimed masked and secret underworld 'lone-hero' who would be deified in the press with a cool alias such as 'Knight-Commander.' The Ratner film generated much profits and received generally positive critical reviews, and Peters himself saw the film and praised its overall condemnation of the bizarre Eaters. Satan was furious, however, since he realized that his special devious campaign to bring consumerism-America to its knees had somehow disintegrated. Ratner's film was called Commander Case.
GOD: Peters has outwitted you...
SATAN: The Eaters will remain immortal.
GOD: They were merely 'terrorist.'
SATAN: No; they were messengers of neglect.
GOD: I'm sure that's a clever rationalism, but they were psychotic.
SATAN: What's wrong with critiquing consumerism?
GOD: Consumerism is very pedestrian and therefore requires diligence.
SATAN: The justice system in America will be confounded by corruption!
GOD: Peters seemed to disagree...
SATAN: Perhaps the idealistic detective decoded the sandpaper scheme.
GOD: Home Depot was safeguarded by some clever policework, no?
SATAN: Let's agree to disagree about the 'value' of capitalism.
GOD: Alright; Burger King is cholesterol; but we need law/sanity (not terrorism).
SATAN: Did you see the Ratner film?
GOD: Yes! I liked it very much...
SATAN: Will Peters is a modern-day Eliot Ness (or Pat Garrett).
GOD: He'll be canonized. He'll be a 'candy celebrity' (which is interesting).
SATAN: Isn't that ironic?
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As Americans embraced the modern conveniences of consumerism such as Home Depot hardware-stores and Burger King fast-food restaurants, there was a brewing underworld current of evil, stirred by the Devil himself. This 'evil' would 'exploit' the natural sloth/gluttony in men neglecting prudence/temperance in this new age of cholesterol and caffeine. A new 'breed' of psychos was emerging, and they wielded the metaphysical evil of sandpaper...
As we all know, sandpaper is simply a type of coated abrasive paper that consists of sheets of paper (or loth) with abrasive material glued to one face. Sandpaper is used for construction/building purposes, since it's very useful in smoothing down layers of wood simply by rubbing down to streamline all protrusions (not unlike sharpening a pencil). Well, this new breed of psychos representative of this modernism 'evil' wielded sandpaper like a gang from hell. The psychos called themselves 'The Eaters' (since they believed they were 'eating' virtue in the name of Satan to condemn Home Depot stores and consumerism in general). The Eaters believed in an anarchy-dominion on Earth and were devoted to violence. They murdered 100 policemen across America --- shooting them and then sanding the skin off their arms and leaving the arm-skinned corpses on roads for 'witnesses' to find.
American horror-film makers of the new era were experimenting with radical themes/ideas reflective of this modern age of great spiritual contradictions (e.g., gluttony and sloth) and complications (e.g., heresy, apathy). The Eaters watched these unusual/eccentric films and enjoyed them but also used them as 'inspiration' for performing all kinds of 'copycat crimes.' Since the Eaters believed their sandpaper was a kind of 'spiritual weapon' in service for the Devil, the FBI was forced to monitor all kinds of consumer activity near Home Depot hardware-stores across the nation.
As the FBI (and an idealistic young detective working for the FBI named Will Peters) pursued the Eaters, the Devil released an army of evil 'elves' (minions --- fallen angels --- of hell manifested on Earth as miniature impish humanoid elves) to haunt Home Depot stores across America. These 'evil elves' symbolized a modern era 'malevolence' --- very real and very eerie. Suddenly, consumers were frightened to go shopping and were pensive when they went to the ATM for a Burger King purchase. The evil elves were the 'guardian minions' of the Eaters, and Will Peters consulted with a Catholic priest in Georgetown and obtained confirmation that the Eaters may indeed be in spiritual league with Satan. The evil elves therefore enhanced the deranged 'mission' of the Eaters.
After much detective-work, FBI agent Will Peters decided to hype the classic video-game Golden Axe, which presented a fantasy-world of combat and adventure and wondrous luminous weapons, anonymously in the Washington Post. Peters intended to offer courage and hope to consumers in America now panicking because of the crime-spree of the eerie Eaters. Peters wrote, "We can't allow these unusual criminals to invade our social sense of consumer activities, such as the purchasing of combat-oriented video-games for our kids!" Golden Axe became a rallying-point for an America depressed by consumerism-hysteria created by the Eaters.
After some time, the Eaters were arrested or surrendered, as Peters' clever tactics and publicity campaign helped to assuage the American people while drawing out the Eaters into the open. Peters decided to retire to Virginia where he spent time building a house, bricklaying the walls himself. As Peter was doing the bricklaying, he remembered the evil sandpaper materialism of the Eaters and breathed a sigh of needed relief that the inhuman evil of the morbid Eaters was finally put to bed. Consumerism (and hence capitalism) was somehow salvaged.
A new Hollywood (USA) film was being planned by Brett Ratner which would depict the glorious deeds of FBI agent Will Peters, portraying him as a self-proclaimed masked and secret underworld 'lone-hero' who would be deified in the press with a cool alias such as 'Knight-Commander.' The Ratner film generated much profits and received generally positive critical reviews, and Peters himself saw the film and praised its overall condemnation of the bizarre Eaters. Satan was furious, however, since he realized that his special devious campaign to bring consumerism-America to its knees had somehow disintegrated. Ratner's film was called Commander Case.
GOD: Peters has outwitted you...
SATAN: The Eaters will remain immortal.
GOD: They were merely 'terrorist.'
SATAN: No; they were messengers of neglect.
GOD: I'm sure that's a clever rationalism, but they were psychotic.
SATAN: What's wrong with critiquing consumerism?
GOD: Consumerism is very pedestrian and therefore requires diligence.
SATAN: The justice system in America will be confounded by corruption!
GOD: Peters seemed to disagree...
SATAN: Perhaps the idealistic detective decoded the sandpaper scheme.
GOD: Home Depot was safeguarded by some clever policework, no?
SATAN: Let's agree to disagree about the 'value' of capitalism.
GOD: Alright; Burger King is cholesterol; but we need law/sanity (not terrorism).
SATAN: Did you see the Ratner film?
GOD: Yes! I liked it very much...
SATAN: Will Peters is a modern-day Eliot Ness (or Pat Garrett).
GOD: He'll be canonized. He'll be a 'candy celebrity' (which is interesting).
SATAN: Isn't that ironic?
====
