Carter, picks up phone. "Hello?"
Trump: "This is President Donald T. Trump."
Carter, "Well, hello."
Trump: "Listen, I wanted to pick your brain about something .... umm what do I call you? I’m not calling you Mr. President because obviously I’m a much bigger President that you were. What do I call you?"
Carter, "Jimmy would be fine, Mr. President."
Trump: "Thanks, that was easy. I wonder why those Bush fucks can’t be as easy as you ... anyway, I wanted to talk about China and trade."
Carter, "Well that’d be fine."
Trump, "How’d you handle China?"
Carter, "Well I inherited from Nixon runaway inflation because he forced the Federal Reserve to unwisely lower rates to further his personal political interests, and also he devalued the dollar, so when I opened up free trade with China, we created access to much cheaper goods, and allowed Americans to basically buy more."
Trump. Silence.
Carter: "Of course that created a negative trade balance with China then .... but they weren’t really the problem back then, because it was Japan that was really kicking our backsides."
Trump: "Japs really love golf. They can’t get enough. Three story driving ranges. I never saw such crazy shit. I played a round with that Lincoln guy of theirs."
Carter: "Yes real estate is a problem for them because geographically they are a small country. Perhaps it was not a coincidence that they bought a lot of it here."
Trump: "No shit. You couldn’t walk down Fifth Avenue without tripping on a busload tying up the sidewalk, taking pictures and yapping at each other in their yappy language."
Carter: "I suppose so. But because my Federal Reserve raised rates so high, we created a severe recession that ended my reelection hopes, but inflation was cured, but the rates also caused the value of the dollar to rise so high that it hurt US manufacturing with too many imports"
Trump: "EXACTLY what I’m facing. What’d you do?"
Carter: "Well, I was defeated in the election of 1980, but President Reagan pursued a policy of again devaluing the dollar to decrease imports while also encouraging the Fed to keep rates high, and that initially made the recession even worse. In turn, Japan’s central bank UNWISELY pursued monetary easing even though their economy was still growing ... it turned out Americans really appreciated the quality of their goods. But Japan’s monetary easing created a REAL ESTATE BUBBLE that ultimately crashed their real estate markets, causing ten years of recession from which they still haven’t recovered."
Trump: "That’s it, I wanna kill the motherfuckers .... or I want someone to kill the motherfuckers for me. I’ll force the Fed to up the free money lending policies and devalue the dollar too. That should goose the goose right up its ass. Whatta say Jimmy?"
Carter, " well, I have a little time to pray before building houses for the homeless, would you kneel with me before God?"
Trump: "Gotta go. Nice chatting"
Trump: "This is President Donald T. Trump."
Carter, "Well, hello."
Trump: "Listen, I wanted to pick your brain about something .... umm what do I call you? I’m not calling you Mr. President because obviously I’m a much bigger President that you were. What do I call you?"
Carter, "Jimmy would be fine, Mr. President."
Trump: "Thanks, that was easy. I wonder why those Bush fucks can’t be as easy as you ... anyway, I wanted to talk about China and trade."
Carter, "Well that’d be fine."
Trump, "How’d you handle China?"
Carter, "Well I inherited from Nixon runaway inflation because he forced the Federal Reserve to unwisely lower rates to further his personal political interests, and also he devalued the dollar, so when I opened up free trade with China, we created access to much cheaper goods, and allowed Americans to basically buy more."
Trump. Silence.
Carter: "Of course that created a negative trade balance with China then .... but they weren’t really the problem back then, because it was Japan that was really kicking our backsides."
Trump: "Japs really love golf. They can’t get enough. Three story driving ranges. I never saw such crazy shit. I played a round with that Lincoln guy of theirs."
Carter: "Yes real estate is a problem for them because geographically they are a small country. Perhaps it was not a coincidence that they bought a lot of it here."
Trump: "No shit. You couldn’t walk down Fifth Avenue without tripping on a busload tying up the sidewalk, taking pictures and yapping at each other in their yappy language."
Carter: "I suppose so. But because my Federal Reserve raised rates so high, we created a severe recession that ended my reelection hopes, but inflation was cured, but the rates also caused the value of the dollar to rise so high that it hurt US manufacturing with too many imports"
Trump: "EXACTLY what I’m facing. What’d you do?"
Carter: "Well, I was defeated in the election of 1980, but President Reagan pursued a policy of again devaluing the dollar to decrease imports while also encouraging the Fed to keep rates high, and that initially made the recession even worse. In turn, Japan’s central bank UNWISELY pursued monetary easing even though their economy was still growing ... it turned out Americans really appreciated the quality of their goods. But Japan’s monetary easing created a REAL ESTATE BUBBLE that ultimately crashed their real estate markets, causing ten years of recession from which they still haven’t recovered."
Trump: "That’s it, I wanna kill the motherfuckers .... or I want someone to kill the motherfuckers for me. I’ll force the Fed to up the free money lending policies and devalue the dollar too. That should goose the goose right up its ass. Whatta say Jimmy?"
Carter, " well, I have a little time to pray before building houses for the homeless, would you kneel with me before God?"
Trump: "Gotta go. Nice chatting"
