Two things I'd really like to know about Men

[Zhukov]

1) Is sex REALLY a separate thing from emotion?

Yes. One is a physical action, the other is a mental disorder.

I mean, do men HONESTLY separate themselves emotionally from a woman when having sex?

Actually during? I'm sure it's possible. Some men are probably capable of it. I think some men are probably incapable of feeling any emotional attraction whatsoever to women with whom they have sex and just do it compulsively. Just the same, I think some men probably can't avoid developing an emotional attachment to any woman with whom they have sex.

Can anyone explain to me why a couple can be "not speaking to each other" and the man still finds the desire to have sex?

Because most men between the age of 14 and death think about sex almost constantly. That's not an exaggeration. The drive to have sex is often so overpowering it eclipses any and all other thought. I write these things, and any woman might tell themselves they understand, but I honestly don't think a woman can ever fully comprehend the sexual drive of men. If you knew what we were thinking, if you could get inside our heads, I think you'd be simultaneously offended and disgusted.

2) What do men want from a wife/significant other?

That's different for every guy. Men who want the things you listed are out there, or who want combinations of those things. But there are also men who want trophies, slaves, mothers, baby factories, bosses, et cetera.

How do men view the link between emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy?

Sometimes its the same thing, sometimes one has nothing to do with the other. Depnds on the guy.

 

[007]

Boys are dumb.

Girls lie.

 

[Gabriella84]

When dealing with many men, there is one thing that you have to consider. Men were born with two heads and only enough blood to operate one of them. So you can guess which head makes most of the important decisions. :moon4:

1) Is sex REALLY a separate thing from emotion? I mean, do men HONESTLY separate themselves emotionally from a woman when having sex? Can anyone explain to me why a couple can be "not speaking to each other" and the man still finds the desire to have sex?

You have to start with younger men. They see sex as a way to get accepted by other males. If you "score," you are cool. Of course, men can do this, because they run no risk of getting pregnant.
A lot of women feel subservient to men, through generations of programming. Women have been told that they are not supposed to enjoy sex. The old "lay back and accept it" BS. The man decides when to have sex, how to have sex and when it is over.
I think women should view it differently. There HAS to be a give and take. You must give to me what you expect from me. Or, as Pink Floyd put it "how can you expect any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" :69:

2) What do men want from a wife/significant other? Is it someone to whom you want to bare your soul, and sex is the ultimate physical expression of your emotional unity? Is it a good friend with whom you can make love? Or would they prefer to have a housekeeper/nanny/secretary who puts out?

Too many men are too far behind. They think they should be in control of everything. Relationships should be 50-50. No one should "wear the pants in the family."
I define a REAL relationship as such: If your partner became disabled and was never again able to engage in sexual activity, would you still fulfill your vows? I would. Because my marriage is more than sex. It is love in all fields. Otherwise, you don't have a spouse. You have a fuckbuddy.
Here is my favorite story about equality in marriage:
A young married couple were having their first real fight about who made decisions in the family. The husband felt that, as the male, he should be in control. His wife argues. So the husband takes off his pants, hands them to his wife and says "put these on." Of course, they were many sizes too big, so the wife says "I can't wear these." The husband says "until you can wear these pants, the person who can makes the decisions."
The wife responds by taking off her underwear, handing them to her husband and saying "Here, put these on." The husband looks at the underwear and says "I can't get into these!" To which the wife responds "And you never will unless you start being more sensible about our decisions."

 

[Avatar4321]

1) Is sex REALLY a separate thing from emotion? I mean, do men HONESTLY separate themselves emotionally from a woman when having sex? Can anyone explain to me why a couple can be "not speaking to each other" and the man still finds the desire to have sex?

You know. If you are being honest you know thats more than two questions in that first question alone.

Seriously though. Sex isnt a separate thing from emotion. However, with that said. the more you do it emotionless the more you sear emotion from the act. Those who sleep around can do so because they have dulled their emotions so much they cant feel like they used to. It's alot different with early experience. I knew someone he was totally devestated when he broke up with the first gf he did stuff with because of the emotional connection the sex brought. but then some guys can just be heartless to begin with.

"12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold." (Matt 24:12)

2) What do men want from a wife/significant other? Is it someone to whom you want to bare your soul, and sex is the ultimate physical expression of your emotional unity? Is it a good friend with whom you can make love? Or would they prefer to have a housekeeper/nanny/secretary who puts out?

I want someone who inspires me to be a better man than I am now. Someone id rather cut my hand off for than hurt. etc. I cant say what other men want.

As for housekeeper/nanny/secretary comment, there is a reason men are attracted to women in such positions. and its not always because she puts out. It's because they are fulfilling the traditional position a wife normally would pre the feminists and the feminazis gained power. Think about it, what does a housekeeper and secretary do? they take care of the guy. They look after him. You find similar characterstics in the traditional housewife. And as for the nanny, she takes care and nutures the kids while the wife is out earning a living with the husband. It's just the providers desire for the nuturer. So it isn't the fact that they are putting out that makes men want them. its the fact that they are fulfilling the normal responsibilities and have the same characteristics as a tradional wife would.

How do men view the link between emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy?

I would guess its strong unless the guy has killed his conscience.

 

[KarlMarx]

When dealing with many men, there is one thing that you have to consider. Men were born with two heads and only enough blood to operate one of them. So you can guess which head makes most of the important decisions. :moon4:

Thank you Ms. Female Misogynist.... I'm sure you got A+++ in your NOW brainwashing sessions.Your first sentence speaks volumes about your real attitude and totally negates anything positive in your post.

If that's what you think of men, I should feel sorry for the poor soul that is going to be stuck with you.

Too many men are too far behind. They think they should be in control of everything. Relationships should be 50-50. No one should "wear the pants in the family."

Unfortunately, for women libber types like you a 50-50 relationship means you give the orders and he follows them. You're nothing more than female chauvinist pigs.

There HAS to be a give and take.

Right, and in your mind, you GIVE the orders and he TAKES your crap.

All your platitudes are meaningless drivel because you lack the one quality essential for all human relationships --- respect for the other person. To you, your husband is nothing more than a person to be manipulated to get your way, someone who is supposed to do what you want without any regard to his needs and wants, and someone who has to agree with your world view --- or else!

As I said, before, I should feel sorry for the poor soul that chooses you as his wife and the mother of his kids. Unless you change your attitude, you are definitely going to be seeing the inside of a divorce court someday.

How do you spell women's liberation? C-O-N-T-E-M-P-T--F-O-R--M-E-N

 

[Zhukov]

...

What part of...

from a man's perspective

...didn't you understand?

 

[JOKER96BRAVO]

...except for my two favorites.

That's my girl!!!

 

[Gabriella84]

If I have such contempt for men, why did I just marry one?

Karl, I hope you never get married. A sense of humor is a very important part of a relationship. It is obvious that you don't have one.

When I say relationships are 50-50, I mean just that. Every decision affecting both partners is discussed.
It also means that the woman gets to be on top occasionally. :shocked:

 

[dilloduck]

If I have such contempt for men, why did I just marry one?

Karl, I hope you never get married. A sense of humor is a very important part of a relationship. It is obvious that you don't have one.

When I say relationships are 50-50, I mean just that. Every decision affecting both partners is discussed.
It also means that the woman gets to be on top occasionally. :shocked:

Maybe to use his assets--you wouldn't be the first one. You really need some help with this sexual obsession of yours

 

[archangel]

<i>**raps P's knuckles with a ruler**</i>

Don't call him back. His grouchy ass was leaving.

Mr.P did not call me back...you did...My grouchy ass probably gets more than your non "grouchy" one....then again ya like to stir me up...so whats with that....boring weekend?

ps: and don't put your usual spin on the "ass" comment...was just a figure of speech....back to rapping knuckles with ya!

 

[KarlMarx]

If I have such contempt for men, why did I just marry one?

Karl, I hope you never get married. A sense of humor is a very important part of a relationship. It is obvious that you don't have one.

When I say relationships are 50-50, I mean just that. Every decision affecting both partners is discussed.
It also means that the woman gets to be on top occasionally. :shocked:

Oh yes, the oldest one in the liberal handbook. The "I was just kidding and you obviously don't have a sense of humor" trick. Nice try....

 

[dmp]

If I have such contempt for men, why did I just marry one?

Karl, I hope you never get married. A sense of humor is a very important part of a relationship. It is obvious that you don't have one.

When I say relationships are 50-50, I mean just that. Every decision affecting both partners is discussed.
It also means that the woman gets to be on top occasionally. :shocked:

Just a word of advice:

You aren't a man; nobody in this thread cares about your opinion.

(shrug).

 

[no1tovote4]

How can a man want to have sex with somebody who isn't speaking to him?

Angry sex can be very exciting!

That (the angry sex) would be a very emotional thing, a very accepting thing and to a man an ultimate expression of an unconditional type of love and acceptance. A man seeking verification of acceptance from a woman would be more likely to want this type of sex, one already assured of such acceptance would be less likely to actively seek out the act but would be unlikely to refuse it if offered. That the act itself is separate from the anger shows the man's ability to separate different emotions within himself and deal with them on a separate level, not that they eliminate emotion from the equation entirely. A man might say to himself, "If she is willing to accept him at this level of anger, then she would be willing to do most anything for him."

This assumption of "battle" of the sexes is often oversimplified by women in the "liberation movement". Men are emotional creatures as well as women and to attempt to eliminate that aspect is simply oversimplification and often unjustified and used as another excuse to judge men lacking rather than an attempt to celebrate and understand the differences between the sexes. Too often men are expected to learn to act and deal with others as women do rather than to act as they would naturally based on the idea that they need to be more "communicative".

If a man is emotionally involved with a woman, they (those normal psychologically) cannot separate any longer the emotion from the act, however they can separate the negative emotion from the positive within himself, thus anger would not exclude the love and positive emotions he will still feel regardless of the anger. If the man is not emotionally at the time of the act, then it is simply sex, emotion is unlikely to become involved simply because of the act (while it may at a later date be a factor it will not become one simply because of the sex.)

 

[Shattered]

Mr.P did not call me back...you did...My grouchy ass probably gets more than your non "grouchy" one....then again ya like to stir me up...so whats with that....boring weekend?

ps: and don't put your usual spin on the "ass" comment...was just a figure of speech....back to rapping knuckles with ya!

...I'll happily rap yours, as well.

 

[Avatar4321]

If I have such contempt for men, why did I just marry one?

Karl, I hope you never get married. A sense of humor is a very important part of a relationship. It is obvious that you don't have one.

When I say relationships are 50-50, I mean just that. Every decision affecting both partners is discussed.
It also means that the woman gets to be on top occasionally. :shocked:

I could make a very mean comment about why you just married a man. but im not that mean. I just thought youd like to know how nice im being to you.

 

[Avatar4321]

Am i the only one who things that a relationship isnt supposed to be 50-50? Ive always thought it should be 100-100. The husband gives everything for the wife and the wife gives everything for the husband.

 

[Shattered]

Am i the only one who things that a relationship isnt supposed to be 50-50? Ive always thought it should be 100-100. The husband gives everything for the wife and the wife gives everything for the husband.

Pshaw.. What do you know? You're still a young'n.

(Just kidding - you're 100% right)

 

[Gabriella84]

That is why you failed math. 50 percent plus 50 percent = 100 percent.

 

[Abbey Normal]

Marriage is the one place where the basic tenet of Socialism can work:

"From each according to his abilties, to each according to his needs."

 

[Shattered]

That is why you failed math. 50 percent plus 50 percent = 100 percent.

...and that is where you failed basic relationship skills.. You only give your so-called hisband 50% of yourself? Who the hell are you tramping the other 50% out to?