War and Whatchamacallits

[Abishai100]

Why is humanity fascinated by war and competition? The Cold War and all the historical and even literary 'intrigue' surrounding it are a perfect example of this fascination.

In the 2010 Tim Burton film (a Lewis Carroll adaptation), Alice in Wonderland, a precocious young girl named Alice follows a peculiar talking rabbit down a mysterious hole and ends up in a strange 'wonderland' where she discovers she must take an integral part in a mission to overthrow the cruel reign of the Red Queen and battle an ominous trickster-dragon called Jabberwocky. Alice is dressed in full knight-armor for her special battle.

What is it about contending with mighty forces that stirs the human heart and imagination? When we look at ourselves in a mirror, do we see a rival rather than a friend?

This sort of meditation reminds me why I'm a fan of the rapture-fantasy film Children of the Corn (a Stephen King adaptation).

How will our mercantilism-trained President (Donald Trump) deal with the philosophical angst/fantasy of war in this age of geo-political networking (e.g., European Union, NATO, etc.)?



====

Snake-Eyes travelled to Switzerland with U.S. President Donald Trump to learn about banks and the banking system from the finance-wizard (now President). Snake-Eyes got the permission to go on the trip from his unit commander Duke (head of the patriotic paramilitary crusaders known as G.I. Joes), since there were no imminent threats posed by the diabolical terrorist organization Cobra. Snake-Eyes started to wonder if economics and capitalism could more spiritually be wed to Wanderlust and 'treasure-islands'! Snake-Eyes was amazed at the majesty of the snowy Swiss Alps and turned to President Trump and said, "Maybe this banking-education will turn out to be less mundane than I originally imagined!"

When Mr. Trump began showing Snake-Eyes the ins-and-outs of banking and explaining correlations in finance and economics between America and Europe and the interests of the U.S. government in reaching seemingly incompatible nations such as China, Cuba, and North Korea, Snake-Eyes was obviously stimulated. Suddenly, while Trump and Snake were in a special Swiss bank, a troop of Cobra drones stormed in and performed a daring and terrible bank-robbery, making sure Snake-Eyes was tied up to prevent heroics. When Cobra scurried out with over $10 million, President Trump turned to Snake-Eyes (aka, 'Snake') and said, "Let's go to war with Cobra!"

Duke was alarmed at the news and ordered Snake-Eyes and two other G.I. Joe field officers (Flint and Lady Jaye) to secure American positions in San Diego (California) and British Columbia (Canada) to prevent terrestrial invasions by Cobra (from sea or land). He then ordered special G.I. Joe jet-fighters to begin sky-patrols above Washington and Texas, sure that Cobra robbed the Swiss bank because it was planning a major invasion of NYC (and elsewhere in North America!). Just then, Duke got a phone call from Cobra Commander: "Oh, Duke! How naive and sweet you are! Here I thought you'd be enjoying the Bulls-Celtics NBA playoff game on TV, but since 'Snake' witnessed our little Swiss bank robbery, the G.I. Joes are mobilized across North America (I'm sure) as if it's Armageddon!!!"

====

 

[Abishai100]

Dead Rabbits


Here's a war-minded tale inspired by the urban conflict-hype film Gangs of New York.

====

Scarlett and Samuels were 20 year-old vigilantes from Eastern Europe who dressed up as paramilitary crusaders and bandits every Halloween Eve to 'patrol' the streets. Trick-or-treaters thought them to be 'Halloween fanatics' in 'pseudo-terrorism' outfits, but their stance and posture (not to mention their mean grit) made them something ominous to miscreants, mobsters, and monsters walking by who would wonder, "Are these two dangerous crazies?" Scarlett and Samuels called themselves the Dynamic Duo, and their first priority was to maintain urban sanity in the modern world (they hated the police and mistrusted politicians!).

Two time-travellers arrived in NYC on Halloween Eve 1997 to 'explore modern America.' They were a pair of nomads (a female warrior and a priestess) from ancient Transylvania named Sandy and Danka. Sandy decided to leave her pet lion Battlecat at home, but Danka decided to bring her special rope-weapon with her. Sandy and Danka wanted to understand how the future world 'sat' in relation to the Transylvania they knew (and loved), a Transylvania haunted by the demonic presence of a mighty warlord named Deacon Dracula who was busy understanding how to cheat death and achieve immortality. Sandy and Danka certainly looked 'Halloween-festive,' and when they spotted the Dynamic Duo, they approached the two vigilantes.

SANDY/DANKA: Are you two crusaders?
SCARLETT/SAMUELS: We're hunting a new Halloween crime syndicate known as 'The Dead Rabbits.'

SANDY/DANKA: These 'evil-doers' wear rabbit-masks?
SCARLETT/SAMUELS: Yes! They also carry pistols and enforce the iron will of the leader of NYC's 'black hand.'

SANDY/DANKA: You're challenging an entire 'crime dominion' in this 'modern world'?
SCARLETT/SAMUELS: Yes. Why are you two dressed as 'old world' gypsies?

SANDY/DANKA: We want to learn about the 'new New York.'
SCARLETT/SAMUELS: Help us tackle the Dead Rabbits!

Scarlett and Samuels did not realize that Sandy and Danka were working (secretly) for the Dead Rabbits in exchange for rich minerals and diamonds from the 'modern world' to take back to Transylvania to dismantle the 'element-richness' of Deacon Dracula. The Dynamic Duo did, however, take precautions (Scarlett told Samuels, "If these two 'gypsies' turn out to be some kind of 'minions' for the Dead Rabbits, we'll deliver an anonymous message to the New York Post: 'The Dynamic Duo met two starlet-wannabes on Halloween Eve scheming to smuggle black-market guns for the intolerable Dead Rabbits now employed by the IRA'!"). When the foursome ran into the Dead Rabbits that Halloween, the Dynamic Duo started shooting them with toy water-pistols, but Sandy and Danka started to wrestle them (to help the Dead Rabbits), so the Dynamic Duo sprayed water in their eyes and ran away (convinced they should deliver the note to the New York Post they discussed). The incident would come to be known as 'The Halloween Hilariousness,' and when Sandy and Danka returned to the Transylvania of their own time, they told their Deacon Dracula resistance-allies, "Modern New York is a den of 'costumed dragons'!"

====



SCARLETT and SAMUELS:

SANDY and DANKA:

THE DEAD RABBITS: