A "Spit" Test?

[Tom Horn]

I admit I'd never heard of a "spit" test for DNA. So being USMB's crack investigative reporter (unpaid I might add), I looked into it for you, the reader. No no.....applause isn't necessary although if you can't help yourself, fine, but no throwing your caps in the air...it seems folks sometimes claim the wrong cap and fistfights ensue. Where were we? Ah yes, the "spit" test. DNA can be collected in a myriad of ways...a hair root, a toof, and various body fluids. But SPIT? We all know women can't spit. We're all familiar with the classic "spit or swallow?" scenario, no point in going there is there?

Ever seen a normal woman hack a loogie? Of course not....they were taught from an early age women don't spit...if they have to evacuate an disagreeable substance, they daintily drool it into a Kleenex, wipe their lip and give you a sheepish smile. I personally can nail the "O" in a stop sign from ten feet with a high-velocity spat-projectile. Most women couldn't spit on a woman on fire who'd cheated with her husband. They just don't get it. So there are DNA test kits you can buy for around $90 to send your DNA off somewhere to be tested. Elizabeth Warren isn't about to do that....not because she ain't injun, but because she can't spit...she'd miss the little cup or whatever it is, and drool on her pantsuit, the chair, her shoe...whatever.....not going to happen.

 

[gipper]

Of she won’t, which proves she is a liar.