Do You Know Your Bible? The Book Of Job 1:12, If It Was You:

[ninja007]

You get to judge one of the persons listed and say what you would have done differently:
a) Job
b) the LORD
c) Satan

No pressure. Some believe there is no 'right' answer but the wise know better.

d) Job's friends

 

[RandomVariable]

You get to judge one of the persons listed and say what you would have done differently:
a) Job
b) the LORD
c) Satan

No pressure. Some believe there is no 'right' answer but the wise know better.

d) Job's friends

God already did blame Job's friends, later anyway. So you would do nothing different?

 

[September]

Hey, it was God who started it.

Satan apparently just went up to go chill in Heaven with God and the Angels, and God was like

"Where'd YOU come from"

And Satan was like "Oh, you know, cruisin' around back and forth across the Earth, just doing my thang. WHAT UP.

And then God started boasting about his slave Job.

"So have you noticed my servant Job? I bet you haven't. He's way too afraid of me to perform Evil.

What you got bitch.

WHAT YOU GOT???"

Satan was like,

"My nigga, you got Job spoiled like a little bitch. You protect him from all the fucked up shit in life. Ain't nobody comin' at him testin' his Faith. Thanks to you, he's got it made.

But you know...

He wouldn't be daddy's little princess if you took it all away. He'd straight up Curse yo ass."

God was like

"AWWWW HEYELLLLLL NO"

Aight then motherfucker. Lets see what you're made of. Go on down to Earth and go fuck up his life. Destroy everything he loves. Just don't lay a finger on him.

And watch.

He'll STILL WORSHIP ME.

Yeah.

That's right.

Your Father who art in Heaven

'bout to show you up.

Go."

So after being taunted by God, Satan powers up and goes on down to Earth, where he compels an army to kill off a bunch of Jobs' livestock.

Word on the streets reaches Job.

But Satan ain't done.

Satan calls upon the power of Hell and shoots a Kamehameha, destroying a bunch of Job's servants and sheep.

Job's homeboy tells him the bad news.

Satan compels another army to steal Job's animals and slaughter more of his servants.

The homie tells Job, who has now sensed a great disturbance in the Force.

Then, Satan hunts down Job's loved ones. Satan calls upon all the energy of Hell and launches a Spirit Bomb at them, effectively fucking nuking their asses and everything within a 666 mile radius.

Job is informed of the terrible news, that his sons and daughters just got turned into fucking charcoal.

But Job

FUCKING JOB

Job goes and shaves his head and rips off his robe, exposing his massively hung eleven inch penis, rock hard at the thought of proving his Faith to God.

And he screamed out with a charging pelvic thrust

"PRAAAAIISSSSEE GAAAAAWD!
HALLEFUCKINGLUJAH"

And The Lord was pleased.

Next day, Satan shows up in HEAVEN again to go kick it with God.

God was like

"Where did YOU come from?

Oh wait. Let me take a wild fucking guess. Job's place, perhaps?"

Satan was like

"I just fucking destroyed Job's life and he still worships you."

God crossed his arms and laughed at Satan.

"Yeah bitch.

That's right.

Uh huh.

What'd I fucking tell you.

My servant Job is still loyal. He's STILL too afraid of me to do evil, even though we just gone' fucked up his life.

You see?

That's how you fuckin' play God bitch ."

So while God was rolling his victory blunt, Satan was like

"You know...

We never actually hurt Job. We only mindfucked him. Let us see how much physical pain he can endure before he Curses you."

God hit the blunt and passed it to Satan.

"Alright bitch, go fuck with him. Just spare his life. But I'm tellin' you... he won't betray me. I'm fuckin' GOD yo, Lord of the Cosmos and I fucking know everything. But go on. Maybe you'll learn something."

So Satan powered up and flew on down to Earth, fantasizing about the terrible things he was about to do to Job.

And you motherfuckers know the rest.

Or do you.

​

A very lengthy reply that dodges the question. Are you in politics?

You point is most excellent however. Many people do believe religion is only for the poor and ignorant. Perhaps for another thread.

You probably won't like this answer very much...

If I could do something differently as either God, Job, or Satan...

As Satan, I would have been far more cruel to Job.

Job didn't actually witness any of his family members die, or any of his servants get killed.

I would have made Job watch them get tortured, right in front of him. Every servant first, tortured at length and then impaled through the anus and out the mouth while keeping them alive, and then, burned alive slowly.

While this was happening, his animals would be butchered and BBQ'd with Hellfire, but with seasonings so that the BBQ smelled really good.

His family members would have all been gangraped right in front of him until none of them were able to walk. Then they would be tortured at length just like the servants. I would castrate the males with Hellfire. I would have all of Job's sons and daughters teeth pulled out, one by one. I would have their limbs amputated one by one, keeping them alive. They would be beaten. Then I would have them all gangraped again while Job watches. Then I would brand them all with various demonic symbols. I would burn their flesh and make them extremely unsightly. Then I would impale them through the anus and out the mouth and smoke them with Hellfire.

Then I would have the armies BBQ the bodies of all the victims and eat them right in front of Job.

And the entire time, I would have an offer standing to Job: denounce God, and worhip Satan instead, and it will all be over.

But see, that's just round one.

God gave Satan permission to go hurt Job again, but physically, as long as he kept him alive.

If, as Satan, I had all those things done to his family, how much more creative could I be with Job himself?

God's only limit was "Keep Job alive", and instead of really taking advantage of the oppurtunity, Satan gave him boils from head to toe. That's it. That was rather merciful if you ask me, as was Satan's manner in destroying Job's family, servants, and livestock.

If I were Satan

Job gets the beating of his life. Job gets gangraped by super hung soldiers repeatedly until his intenstines are coming out his ass. Then I have the finest women around go and pull out Job's teeth one by one, and then force him to drink lemon juice right after.

Job gets castrated. He is branded with Satanic symbols. Pieces of his body are slowly sliced off and eaten by the women, but I don't have him completely amputated because he needs to be able to survive on his own after this.

One of his eyes is gouged out. His tongue is ripped from his mouth. Pieces of his nose and ears are sliced off and all these body parts are eaten by the women doing the torturing, who are all laughing at Job sadisticly.

Then he is then whipped relentlessly, and then sodomized repeatedly by the women using wooden dildos.

The remaining areas of Job's body are slowly burned from head to toe, while keeping him alive...

AND THEN

Job is inflicted with boils and left to suffer.

^_^

And throughout the entire ordeal, Job is being made the offer that if he denounces God, and declares Satan the greatest God, than it will all end, and I will help him take vengeance upon the humans who killed his family and disfigured him.


BUT

Did Satan do any of that?

No.

Did God give Satan permission to do those things?

Yes.

SO WHY DIDN'T SATAN BE MORE CRUEL TO JOB

​

 

[September]

I mean, normally Satan's power over mankind is restricted to casting evil suggestions into their hearts.

But here, God is granting Satan the power/ permission to go out and physically destroy humans.

Why doesn't Satan take advantage of that?

Satan rather mercifully did away with the things Job cared about, when it could have been a HELL of a lot worse, which was the entire point of my last post.

Am I really expected to believe that that the most "evil" thing Satan could come up with to physically attack Job while keeping him alive was to inflict him with boils? Sure, that's bad, but I would expect something far more evil from THE FUCKING DEVIL.

Perhaps we should not be so quick to judge Satan...
​

 

[RandomVariable]

I mean, normally Satan's power over mankind is restricted to casting evil suggestions into their hearts.

But here, God is granting Satan the power/ permission to go out and physically destroy humans.

Why doesn't Satan take advantage of that?

Satan rather mercifully did away with the things Job cared about, when it could have been a HELL of a lot worse, which was the entire point of my last post.

Am I really expected to believe that that the most "evil" thing Satan could come up with to physically attack Job while keeping him alive was to inflict him with boils? Sure, that's bad, but I would expect something far more evil from THE FUCKING DEVIL.

Perhaps we should not be so quick to judge Satan...
​

Does Satan need more than casting evil suggestions into one's heart? Well let us think about what Satan's goal is: take people away from the LORD. Would it have done Satan any good to do all those horrific things to Job. No. Satan's goal was to get Job to "curse thee to thy face" 1:11. Should we be so quick to judge Satan? After all he shewed mercy to Job because he could have done worse, right? You seem to know your text pretty well so I will call up one of the LORD's elite to give witness. Joseph, the one Jacob begat. Joseph was in prison in Egypt through no fault of his own. Sound familiar? Satan might have provided mercy to Joseph when he was bound by the Pharaoh. Maybe a fellow inmate offered Joseph some of his gruel. "Just forget about that God of yours. We'll get out of here this very night." he whispers. But does Joseph forget about his God? Heck NO! And the LORD gets Joseph out.

So should very thank Satan for small mercies? When we are down and out, when we are scraping the bottom, when we are bleeding and sore, should we thank Satan for his mercies? Should we be so quick to judge Satan? Sometimes I take way longer than I should but I pray to the LORD when I do judge Satan that I judge him correctly.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

You get to judge one of the persons listed and say what you would have done differently:
a) Job
b) the LORD
c) Satan

No pressure. Some believe there is no 'right' answer but the wise know better.

This is just a general comment. I have been gone five moons and they COMPLETELY redo the interface. I like the previous version find.

On topic response to the OP - I would not change a thing. It is perfect. From start to finish. It is precisely as God wanted it to be written - Scripture is inspired by God - are you claiming you are "wiser" than God? That you "know better" than God? I didn't think so...........

For your off topic remark - 'they' did a great job and the board is very nice - I'm able to post photos - type in bold print - Even big bold print! Lot's of smiley face icons - music link still go up the same what's not to like about it? Did you see the trophy system? Very cool. You are like the person who moves into a new home and says I hate it without ever looking at all the rooms, the backyard, the security system, etc..... it makes no sense. You do not even know the neighborhood yet. The neighbors are nice too! Think positive.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

Hey, it was God who started it.

Satan apparently just went up to go chill in Heaven with God and the Angels, and God was like

"Where'd YOU come from"

And Satan was like "Oh, you know, cruisin' around back and forth across the Earth, just doing my thang. WHAT UP.

And then God started boasting about his slave Job.

"So have you noticed my servant Job? I bet you haven't. He's way too afraid of me to perform Evil.

What you got bitch.

WHAT YOU GOT???"

Satan was like,

"My nigga, you got Job spoiled like a little bitch. You protect him from all the fucked up shit in life. Ain't nobody comin' at him testin' his Faith. Thanks to you, he's got it made.

But you know...

He wouldn't be daddy's little princess if you took it all away. He'd straight up Curse yo ass."

God was like

"AWWWW HEYELLLLLL NO"

Aight then motherfucker. Lets see what you're made of. Go on down to Earth and go fuck up his life. Destroy everything he loves. Just don't lay a finger on him.

And watch.

He'll STILL WORSHIP ME.

Yeah.

That's right.

Your Father who art in Heaven

'bout to show you up.

Go."

So after being taunted by God, Satan powers up and goes on down to Earth, where he compels an army to kill off a bunch of Jobs' livestock.

Word on the streets reaches Job.

But Satan ain't done.

Satan calls upon the power of Hell and shoots a Kamehameha, destroying a bunch of Job's servants and sheep.

Job's homeboy tells him the bad news.

Satan compels another army to steal Job's animals and slaughter more of his servants.

The homie tells Job, who has now sensed a great disturbance in the Force.

Then, Satan hunts down Job's loved ones. Satan calls upon all the energy of Hell and launches a Spirit Bomb at them, effectively fucking nuking their asses and everything within a 666 mile radius.

Job is informed of the terrible news, that his sons and daughters just got turned into fucking charcoal.

But Job

FUCKING JOB

Job goes and shaves his head and rips off his robe, exposing his massively hung eleven inch penis, rock hard at the thought of proving his Faith to God.

And he screamed out with a charging pelvic thrust

"PRAAAAIISSSSEE GAAAAAWD!
HALLEFUCKINGLUJAH"

And The Lord was pleased.

Next day, Satan shows up in HEAVEN again to go kick it with God.

God was like

"Where did YOU come from?

Oh wait. Let me take a wild fucking guess. Job's place, perhaps?"

Satan was like

"I just fucking destroyed Job's life and he still worships you."

God crossed his arms and laughed at Satan.

"Yeah bitch.

That's right.

Uh huh.

What'd I fucking tell you.

My servant Job is still loyal. He's STILL too afraid of me to do evil, even though we just gone' fucked up his life.

You see?

That's how you fuckin' play God bitch ."

So while God was rolling his victory blunt, Satan was like

"You know...

We never actually hurt Job. We only mindfucked him. Let us see how much physical pain he can endure before he Curses you."

God hit the blunt and passed it to Satan.

"Alright bitch, go fuck with him. Just spare his life. But I'm tellin' you... he won't betray me. I'm fuckin' GOD yo, Lord of the Cosmos and I fucking know everything. But go on. Maybe you'll learn something."

So Satan powered up and flew on down to Earth, fantasizing about the terrible things he was about to do to Job.

And you motherfuckers know the rest.

Or do you.

​

A very lengthy reply that dodges the question. Are you in politics?

You point is most excellent however. Many people do believe religion is only for the poor and ignorant. Perhaps for another thread.

Not at all. That was Karl Marx who said that. Religion is the opium of the masses. Let's examine the nature of the person who said that. Marx was a high priest of Satanism. He was totally deceived - he served Lucifer. A decision he dearly regrets now after having learned that Satan isn't giving any of those poor, ignorant servants of his a reward by giving them authority in hell. No. Instead their future is eternal torment and suffering at the mercy of demons who gave them a measure of powers here while on earth.........think on this ignorance for a minute or two, Random:

- How much ignorance does it take to serve Satan - known as the Father of Lies, one who deceives and actually believe he would ever keep his word once they are in hell and of no further use to him! All I can say is poor souls......to have ever believed Satan had any virtues when he has always proved he does not. Keeping ones word is a virtue. Telling the truth is a virtue, rewarding faithful service is a virtue. Satan has no virtues. Karl Marx is in hell - could he warn you - he would. Take it from me. There is is no reward waiting in hell for anyone. Only eternal torment - wake up.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

You get to judge one of the persons listed and say what you would have done differently:
a) Job
b) the LORD
c) Satan

No pressure. Some believe there is no 'right' answer but the wise know better.

d) Job's friends

God already did blame Job's friends, later anyway. So you would do nothing different?

Absolutely nothing. The book of Job is a blueprint of Satan's strategies - he tipped his hand - this is where we learn that Satan is the accuser of the brethren who first had to request that God remove the hedge of protection from Job because Job stayed out of sin and prayed for his family daily - Satan didn't have a way in - had Americans all walked like Job did before the LORD the Marxists who serve Satan would never have had a way in either - still they are limited because the LORD still has His servants on the earth today and we will serve him irregardless of what He does or does not do for us. We will serve Him because He is God and there is no other God. It all belongs to the Lord Jesus Christ, it is His Power, His Glory, His Kingdom, his earth which He has created - He alone is the Creator! Satan is a defeated foe, he was defeated at the cross and has no authority over the LORD's servants. NONE.

Satan still goes before God today and accuses the Christians - he accuses them of what they say and what they do. Satan cannot read the mind of any human being. Not even his own workers - his own servants - he cannot read their minds - he can only watch and see what they do and what they say. Only God knows the thoughts and the heart of man. Only God. Some who serve Satan realize after awhile that Christians have authority over demons and Satan and they decide to follow Christ and leave Satan. They see God fully protecting His own servants and say why not me? I think I willl call on Jesus Christ to rescue me from this hellish life of torment and fear.

The servants of Satan who decide to stay with him. They have lost before they even started. Here's why. The Word of God - even in the Book of Job - makes clear the sheer hatred Satan has for Gods creation. What is Gods greatest creation? Man. Which is why Satan deceived Darwin and fed him that lie about evolution - man did not evolve - from an ape - a fish or any beast of the field - man was created by God Almighty in Genesis 1:26. Man was created in Gods own image!

So with that said, Satan despises God -he wants to cause God pain - God does not wish to see humans follow Satan and end up in hell - but God has given man a free will. Yes Satan hates mankind - he despises what God created - man - he despises all mankind - even his own servants - which he has lied to - deceived and plans to take to hell as he has already done to Crowley, LaVey, Marx, Lenin, Stalin and others........ you see, no matter how faithful a servant you are for Satan? His goal is to destroy you and cause you the greatest suffering imaginable - beyond imagining really - why? Because you were created in the image of God - forget shapeshifting - that is just demonic powers - illusions - you are still made in the image of God and when you die? If you are serving him? You're going to be eternally tormented in hell and regretting every second of it. Even more you're going to remember reading these words and asking yourself why didn't I listen to her?

Listen to me. I do not have any sympathy for the devil and neither should you. Mick got it wrong. Listening to Demons will do that to you. Oh yeah. Call upon the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Repent. That is what you must do. Romans 10: 8,9.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

You get to judge one of the persons listed and say what you would have done differently:
a) Job
b) the LORD
c) Satan

No pressure. Some believe there is no 'right' answer but the wise know better.

No man or woman gets to judge Job, The LORD or Satan. It is written:

Matthew 7 1 Do not judge or you too will be judged.
Context
Do Not Judge
1"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. 2"For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.…
Cross References
Luke 6:37
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
Luke 6:41
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
John 8:7
When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."
Romans 2:1
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
Romans 14:10
You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat.
Romans 14:13
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.
1 Corinthians 4:5
Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.
James 4:11
Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.
_________________________________

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

God Almighty is the judge. It is a trick of Satan and his servants to entice others into the business of Judging God, judging one such as Job who was God's righteous Servant ( it is written - Touch not mine anointed and do my prophets no harm ) and to judge Satan as even the LORD said, The LORD rebuke you Satan. That is the reply of the servant of God - "The Lord rebuke you, Satan". Read the Book of Jude.

Zechariah 3 2 The LORD said to Satan The LORD rebuke you Satan The LORD who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you Is not this man a burning stick snatched from the fire

And again it is written:

Jude 1 9 But even the archangel Michael when he was disputing with the devil about the body of Moses did not himself dare to condemn him for slander but said The Lord rebuke you

Context
God's Judgment on the Ungodly
…8Yet in the same way these men, also by dreaming, defile the flesh, and reject authority, and revile angelic majesties. 9But Michael the archangel, when he disputed with the devil and argued about the body of Moses, did not dare pronounce against him a railing judgment, but said, "The Lord rebuke you!" 10But these men revile the things which they do not understand; and the things which they know by instinct, like unreasoning animals, by these things they are destroyed.…
________________________
What does this mean? It means that even Michael the archangel did not pronounce judgment on Satan knowing it was a trap! Do not ever allow anyone to entice you to bring judgment against the LORD, against the Lord Jesus Christ's Servants or against Satan but rather do not ever dare judge the LORD or His servants and when it comes to Satan just say - The Lord rebuke you Satan. That is the right response.

 

[The Irish Ram]

Good posts Jere. A+

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

You get to judge one of the persons listed and say what you would have done differently:
a) Job
b) the LORD
c) Satan

No pressure. Some believe there is no 'right' answer but the wise know better.

d) Job's friends

God already did blame Job's friends, later anyway. So you would do nothing different?

God is God and can do what He wants. He is God. You are a finite human being and have been told by God in the Bible not to judge. So do not do it and don't invite others to do it either. We need to obey the LORD.

 

[Book of Jeremiah]

Good posts Jere. A+

I love you, Sister Ram, and know you know the Word! I fear the LORD and respect His commands because I know He knows best and our obedience to Him is for our own protection. I am always blessed when God has you show up on the scene! You are the person God uses to bless me, instruct me and help me more than any other Christian on the internet. I thank God for you. I thank you for your prayers. For your encouragement and your example. I know you truly love the LORD. You are a great blessing to me!

 

[The Irish Ram]

What a nice thing to say. I love you too!

 

[RandomVariable]

God said you two should go sit in the closet with your bible until you learn to behave.

 

[RandomVariable]

You get to judge one of the persons listed and say what you would have done differently:
a) Job
b) the LORD
c) Satan

No pressure. Some believe there is no 'right' answer but the wise know better.

No man or woman gets to judge Job, The LORD or Satan. It is written:

Matthew 7 1 Do not judge or you too will be judged.
Context
Do Not Judge
1"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. 2"For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.…
Cross References
Luke 6:37
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
Luke 6:41
"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
John 8:7
When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."
Romans 2:1
You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
Romans 14:10
You, then, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or why do you treat them with contempt? For we will all stand before God's judgment seat.
Romans 14:13
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.
1 Corinthians 4:5
Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.
James 4:11
Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.
_________________________________

Look at all those New Testament references. Wow. A religion that claims to have the authorization of the Old Testament but does not like the word of God, and hates Jewish people, and so writes a new version. Now if only I could remember that name of that religion.

There is enough love in me for all of you. I AM THAT I AM!