Married Couples Eating Out

[braalian]

Maybe they’re just comfortable with each other and don’t have much to say?

 

[Concerned American]

I was married once for several years. My divorce was 17 years ago. While I love my ex and our family, I got to say that divorce was fucking great for our situation. I reached the conclusion that marriage is not for me. I am much, much happier being single, and I remain so today.

What perplexes me is when you are out at a restaurant and a married couple is seated next to you, middle aged and clearly married. Many times they will sit there across from one another and say maybe 3-4 words during the entire time they are having dinner. I have seen this many times, as I eat out a lot (). I don’t remember doing this. If me and my wife were not happy we would not go out. But when things were fine it seems like we were constantly engaged in conversation wherever we were. Granted, we were married for only 10 years, so maybe we never got to the phase of being totally bored with each other.

I see it other times too, in other places. If you are going to be emotionally numb or neutral toward your partner, why be married? My ex and I were great friends. We always talked and enjoyed each other’s company when times were good. But if you are not getting any enjoyment from one another and there are no complications to delay divorce (e.g., kids, wealth division), they why stay? I don’t get it.

My ex and I did not fight over anything in the divorce and cooperated/remained civil for thAe kids. We still talk today, have conversations about this and that, and remain friendly. There was no money problems or anything like that. It was mutual. We probably should still be together. But I made a bad decision she could not reconcile with.

I am puzzled about why people stay married if they do not appear to enjoy each other’s company. I know there’s love and loyalty and blah blah. But sitting together for over an hour at dinner and not talking about ANYTHING?!? Jesus Christ! I would not do that, unless the lady was filthy rich.

After 47 years and raising a family, I can say that conversation does not have to be constant. We can sit on the porch and enjoy the silence of the forest for hours and never say a word. We can also sit down and talk for hours about minutiae. It is the enjoyment of each other's company--silent or verbal. Sorry you weren't able to experience it.