- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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This is a pro-commerce geopolitical tale inspired by G.I. Joe (American paramilitary fantasy-adventure franchise) comics and the modern Irish-politics intrigue film The Devil's Own.
Signing off,
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The American paramilitary crusaders known as 'G.I. Joes' were near the completion of their mission to detangle the modern mess of geopolitical terrorism initiated by the ruthless organization known as 'Cobra.' The G.I. Joe ninja-assassin Snake-Eyes was even considering retiring to Switzerland with his new wife Pythona, formerly the wily eco-terrorist member of Cobra. However, G.I. Joe leader Duke had one more 'special mission' for the Joes and Cobra members now retired and/or allied to G.I. Joe. Duke wanted to capitalize on the merchandising of the Irish-culture avatar-marketed American breakfast cereal Lucky Charms (featuring a colorful leprechaun as its 'capitalism mascot') to promote general consumerism and the peaceful democracy modern commerce promotes.
Duke ordered the Joes and allied Cobra members to infiltrate the nasty labyrinth of continental terrorism plaguing relations between Irish Catholics and British Protestants in Northern Ireland (since the partition of Ireland during the struggles of Michael Collins and Eamon de-Valera). The remnant of the Irish Republican Army (IRA) was now committed to erasing British rule from all of Ireland --- completely --- and random acts of violence between the IRA and British police/government was stifling peaceful commercial relations in this new age of economics-gauged geopolitics (i.e., European Union, Wall Street, etc.). Duke wanted this Joe-Cobra joint 'IRA-Campaign' to facilitate the cultural-marketing of Irish-insignia brands/logos such as Lucky Charms (so Americans could embrace the offerings of cultures from around the world with straightforward consumerism!).
Duke knew that Lucky Charms would never be 'peacefully-enjoyed' in Belfast, if the IRA and British government did not come to some meaningful commerce-based peace arrangement. The Joes and allied Cobra members entered Belfast and began working with local IRA leaders and started distributing toy water-pistols to kids on the streets. The British police took notice but were certainly inspired by this pro-consumerism gesture --- who doesn't like toys? Snake-Eyes then kidnapped a key member of the British police and brought him to an IRA headquarters where Duke arranged a special televised conversation with a key IRA leader named Tom Meary. During the conversation, the British policeman and Meary shared a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal!
U.S. President Donald Trump loved the whole affair, and he officially commemorated the televised Lucky Charms 'conversation' (which would come to be known as the Cereal Case!) as a monumental progressive step in the use of commerce and capitalism and trade as a means to curb the violence of terrorism from yesteryear. Duke suggested that even Michael Collins would have been proud. The Cobra emperor Serpentor (now allied to the Joes) suggested that the Joe-Cobra alliance serve as a stepping-stone for future generations wishing to learn about the value of progressive dialogue in times of complete anarchy, terror, political unrest, and of course, anti-federalism related angst. President Trump suggested that consumerism was becoming the real 'method' to eradicate the problem of anti-commerce fascism.
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Signing off,
====
The American paramilitary crusaders known as 'G.I. Joes' were near the completion of their mission to detangle the modern mess of geopolitical terrorism initiated by the ruthless organization known as 'Cobra.' The G.I. Joe ninja-assassin Snake-Eyes was even considering retiring to Switzerland with his new wife Pythona, formerly the wily eco-terrorist member of Cobra. However, G.I. Joe leader Duke had one more 'special mission' for the Joes and Cobra members now retired and/or allied to G.I. Joe. Duke wanted to capitalize on the merchandising of the Irish-culture avatar-marketed American breakfast cereal Lucky Charms (featuring a colorful leprechaun as its 'capitalism mascot') to promote general consumerism and the peaceful democracy modern commerce promotes.
Duke ordered the Joes and allied Cobra members to infiltrate the nasty labyrinth of continental terrorism plaguing relations between Irish Catholics and British Protestants in Northern Ireland (since the partition of Ireland during the struggles of Michael Collins and Eamon de-Valera). The remnant of the Irish Republican Army (IRA) was now committed to erasing British rule from all of Ireland --- completely --- and random acts of violence between the IRA and British police/government was stifling peaceful commercial relations in this new age of economics-gauged geopolitics (i.e., European Union, Wall Street, etc.). Duke wanted this Joe-Cobra joint 'IRA-Campaign' to facilitate the cultural-marketing of Irish-insignia brands/logos such as Lucky Charms (so Americans could embrace the offerings of cultures from around the world with straightforward consumerism!).
Duke knew that Lucky Charms would never be 'peacefully-enjoyed' in Belfast, if the IRA and British government did not come to some meaningful commerce-based peace arrangement. The Joes and allied Cobra members entered Belfast and began working with local IRA leaders and started distributing toy water-pistols to kids on the streets. The British police took notice but were certainly inspired by this pro-consumerism gesture --- who doesn't like toys? Snake-Eyes then kidnapped a key member of the British police and brought him to an IRA headquarters where Duke arranged a special televised conversation with a key IRA leader named Tom Meary. During the conversation, the British policeman and Meary shared a bowl of Lucky Charms cereal!
U.S. President Donald Trump loved the whole affair, and he officially commemorated the televised Lucky Charms 'conversation' (which would come to be known as the Cereal Case!) as a monumental progressive step in the use of commerce and capitalism and trade as a means to curb the violence of terrorism from yesteryear. Duke suggested that even Michael Collins would have been proud. The Cobra emperor Serpentor (now allied to the Joes) suggested that the Joe-Cobra alliance serve as a stepping-stone for future generations wishing to learn about the value of progressive dialogue in times of complete anarchy, terror, political unrest, and of course, anti-federalism related angst. President Trump suggested that consumerism was becoming the real 'method' to eradicate the problem of anti-commerce fascism.
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