Tucker Carlson accuses Biden of faking mental sharpness for more than an hour!

[DrLove]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for more than an hour during his press conference on Thursday.​

​

“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”​

​

Carlson said that Biden’s “desperate charade” extended to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”​

​

“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he said. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”​

Tucker Carlson Accuses Biden of Faking Mental Sharpness for More Than an Hour

Following the President’s press conference, the Fox News host blasted Biden for staying on point and using “suspiciously complete sentences.”

www.newyorker.com

 

[Moonglow]

Tucker has already tried doing that trick and it lost him Republican viewers so he went back to gobbling like a turkey.

 

[deannalw]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for more than an hour during his press conference on Thursday.​

​

“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”​

​

Carlson said that Biden’s “desperate charade” extended to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”​

​

“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he said. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”​

Tucker Carlson Accuses Biden of Faking Mental Sharpness for More Than an Hour

Following the President’s press conference, the Fox News host blasted Biden for staying on point and using “suspiciously complete sentences.”

www.newyorker.com

Oh good. You morons need to get your humor somewhere.

 

[Vrenn]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for more than an hour during his press conference on Thursday.​

​

“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”​

​

Carlson said that Biden’s “desperate charade” extended to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”​

​

“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he said. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”​

Tucker Carlson Accuses Biden of Faking Mental Sharpness for More Than an Hour

Following the President’s press conference, the Fox News host blasted Biden for staying on point and using “suspiciously complete sentences.”

www.newyorker.com

That's okay. At least Biden is faking it well unlike Carlson failing at faking being a human.

 

[Godboy]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for more than an hour during his press conference on Thursday.​

​

“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”​

​

Carlson said that Biden’s “desperate charade” extended to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”​

​

“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he said. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”​

Tucker Carlson Accuses Biden of Faking Mental Sharpness for More Than an Hour

Following the President’s press conference, the Fox News host blasted Biden for staying on point and using “suspiciously complete sentences.”

www.newyorker.com

He was a stuttering fool. What the fuck are you talking about? He is being blasted by most news outlets right now.

 

[postman]

That's okay. At least Biden is faking it well unlike Carlson failing at faking being a human.

Tucker Carlson had to have fox news defend him from a defamation suit by claiming that no reasonable person would believe anything he says.

 

[Gdjjr]

reasonable person

Define that please.

 

[Vrenn]

reasonable person

Define that please.

Not you.

 

[Moonglow]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for more than an hour during his press conference on Thursday.​

​

“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”​

​

Carlson said that Biden’s “desperate charade” extended to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”​

​

“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he said. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”​

Tucker Carlson Accuses Biden of Faking Mental Sharpness for More Than an Hour

Following the President’s press conference, the Fox News host blasted Biden for staying on point and using “suspiciously complete sentences.”

www.newyorker.com

Oh good. You morons need to get your humor somewhere.

It's the New Yorker for people with humor and upper class.

 

[postman]

reasonable person

Define that please.

Somebody who doesn't watch Fox News?

 

[Moonglow]

That's okay. At least Biden is faking it well unlike Carlson failing at faking being a human.

Tucker Carlson had to have fox news defend him from a defamation suit by claiming that no reasonable person would believe anything he says.

I never have.

 

[my2¢]

Loosen up. It's satire for heaven's sake.

 

[bodecea]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for more than an hour during his press conference on Thursday.​

​

“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”​

​

Carlson said that Biden’s “desperate charade” extended to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”​

​

“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he said. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”​

Tucker Carlson Accuses Biden of Faking Mental Sharpness for More Than an Hour

Following the President’s press conference, the Fox News host blasted Biden for staying on point and using “suspiciously complete sentences.”

www.newyorker.com

I know this is satire, but I wouldn't put it past lil' tucker to do this exact thing.

 

[bodecea]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for more than an hour during his press conference on Thursday.​

​

“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”​

​

Carlson said that Biden’s “desperate charade” extended to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”​

​

“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he said. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”​

Tucker Carlson Accuses Biden of Faking Mental Sharpness for More Than an Hour

Following the President’s press conference, the Fox News host blasted Biden for staying on point and using “suspiciously complete sentences.”

www.newyorker.com

He was a stuttering fool. What the fuck are you talking about? He is being blasted by most news outlets right now.

lil'tucker, you mean.

 

[SC Patriot]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for more than an hour during his press conference on Thursday.​

​

“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”​

​

Carlson said that Biden’s “desperate charade” extended to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”​

​

“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he said. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”​

Tucker Carlson Accuses Biden of Faking Mental Sharpness for More Than an Hour

Following the President’s press conference, the Fox News host blasted Biden for staying on point and using “suspiciously complete sentences.”

www.newyorker.com

That's okay. At least Biden is faking it well unlike Carlson failing at faking being a human.

Mature response.

 

[SC Patriot]

reasonable person

Define that please.

Not you.

More mature of a response

 

[Blues Man]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for more than an hour during his press conference on Thursday.​

​

“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”​

​

Carlson said that Biden’s “desperate charade” extended to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”​

​

“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he said. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”​

Tucker Carlson Accuses Biden of Faking Mental Sharpness for More Than an Hour

Following the President’s press conference, the Fox News host blasted Biden for staying on point and using “suspiciously complete sentences.”

www.newyorker.com

Once to go pills wore off Biden was back to drooling in his cup.

 

[postman]

Loosen up. It's satire for heaven's sake.

That's how the Fox News lawyers defended Tucker Carlson.

 

[marvin martian]

So sharp:

 

[Godboy]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scandal bigger than Watergate,” the Fox News host Tucker Carlson accused President Biden of “thoroughly faking mental sharpness” for more than an hour during his press conference on Thursday.​

​

“Doing everything he could to give the appearance of mental acuity, he answered questions in detail, stayed on point, and uttered suspiciously complete sentences,” Carlson alleged. “I’ve seen some shameless stunts in my time, but this one takes the cake.”​

​

Carlson said that Biden’s “desperate charade” extended to “accomplishing concrete things to make himself seem competent.”​

​

“When he said that he would double the number of vaccinations in his first hundred days, my jaw dropped,” he said. “President Trump would never have tried to pull something like that.”​

Tucker Carlson Accuses Biden of Faking Mental Sharpness for More Than an Hour

Following the President’s press conference, the Fox News host blasted Biden for staying on point and using “suspiciously complete sentences.”

www.newyorker.com

He was a stuttering fool. What the fuck are you talking about? He is being blasted by most news outlets right now.

lil'tucker, you mean.

"Lil"? Tucker is 6'1.