Lord Long Rod
Diamond Member
- Jan 17, 2023
- 7,706
- 8,122
- 2,138
- Banned
- #1
We have all been there. You have a trip planned for months to go bear hunting in Alaska, only to have it completely ruined when your wifeâs mother dies the day before you are scheduled to depart. âIf you loved me, you would not go on your stupid (nonrefundable) tripâ, she says. Or, you go to bed then wake up the next day to find your wifey possessed by evil pre-menstruation demons as she screams at you for convincing her to paint the living room a nice shade of off-white. Or, she rages at you over your credit card bill when you tell her you bought a Rolex Daytona. We can all agree that wives will fuck up your life if you let them.
Through my many years dealing with the opposite sex I have accumulated vast wisdom on how a man can avoid this shit. Let me share some of my wife hacks with you.
1. Donât get married. Now, to be sure, you are going to try it out at least once in your life. I did. And for co-dependents and soy boys, it may work out. But most of the time it will end in divorce. The trick is not to do it again. Do you know that old saying, âLove is sweeter the second time aroundâ? Well, thatâs a lie. Donât fall for it. You can be just as happy being single and banging bar skanks between fishing trips.
2. Learn how to be gay. I have not personally tried this one, nor do I recommend it unless you are already kind of curious. If you are unsure, then buy one of those male sex dolls (or borrow one from a friend), and just see how it goes. Men donât PMS.
3. Get an Asian mail order bride. However, I must caution you that these women can be strong willed and will come to dominate a beta male. You have to be clear from the start that you absolutely will not tolerate any foolishness. You must regularly discipline these chicks to keep them in line. Fortunately, and unlike western women, they come with the submission ethic baked into their brains.
4. Convert to a total cybersexual. Letâs face it, sex is all about the finale for a dude. They even make machines for the act itself, and they donât talk back.
5. Related to Number 4, reduce sexuality to a medicinal procedure, like popping a zit. Once we get up there in age and start taking meds for blood pressure and other shit, in addition to losing testosterone naturally, your sex drive will diminish. Take care of it when you need to, and spend your time with your buddies at the gun range!
6. Female circumcision. I do not condone this savage practice. But neither will I attempt to impose my views on other cultures. I would not personally do this, but some men around the world swear by this technique.
7. Date Muslim women. Submission is ingrained on their very being. Plus, they are not handicapped by western culture. You can tell them, âHoney, go get one of your knives from the kitchen and go kill that mutt in the neighborâs yard that barks all fucking nightâ, and she will do it.
8. Castrate yourself. The urge just disappears. Then you will have no need for a woman! While this procedure is usually not covered by insurance, do not fear. You can do it yourself with a razor, a pair of needle nose pliers, and some 6lb fishing line!
9. Train yourself to put up with women. This is another one I have not actually attempted. I place this technique somewhere between female circumcision and learning to be gay. Essentially, you need to be conditioned to feel humiliation and powerlessness, and like it. Perhaps contract with a dominatrix who will urinate on you and beat you regularly for a period of time.
10. Marry a âtrad wifeâ, which is merely a term applied to chicks who are not taught to act like total bitches.
I sincerely hope these hacks work for you.
Through my many years dealing with the opposite sex I have accumulated vast wisdom on how a man can avoid this shit. Let me share some of my wife hacks with you.
1. Donât get married. Now, to be sure, you are going to try it out at least once in your life. I did. And for co-dependents and soy boys, it may work out. But most of the time it will end in divorce. The trick is not to do it again. Do you know that old saying, âLove is sweeter the second time aroundâ? Well, thatâs a lie. Donât fall for it. You can be just as happy being single and banging bar skanks between fishing trips.
2. Learn how to be gay. I have not personally tried this one, nor do I recommend it unless you are already kind of curious. If you are unsure, then buy one of those male sex dolls (or borrow one from a friend), and just see how it goes. Men donât PMS.
3. Get an Asian mail order bride. However, I must caution you that these women can be strong willed and will come to dominate a beta male. You have to be clear from the start that you absolutely will not tolerate any foolishness. You must regularly discipline these chicks to keep them in line. Fortunately, and unlike western women, they come with the submission ethic baked into their brains.
4. Convert to a total cybersexual. Letâs face it, sex is all about the finale for a dude. They even make machines for the act itself, and they donât talk back.
5. Related to Number 4, reduce sexuality to a medicinal procedure, like popping a zit. Once we get up there in age and start taking meds for blood pressure and other shit, in addition to losing testosterone naturally, your sex drive will diminish. Take care of it when you need to, and spend your time with your buddies at the gun range!
6. Female circumcision. I do not condone this savage practice. But neither will I attempt to impose my views on other cultures. I would not personally do this, but some men around the world swear by this technique.
7. Date Muslim women. Submission is ingrained on their very being. Plus, they are not handicapped by western culture. You can tell them, âHoney, go get one of your knives from the kitchen and go kill that mutt in the neighborâs yard that barks all fucking nightâ, and she will do it.
8. Castrate yourself. The urge just disappears. Then you will have no need for a woman! While this procedure is usually not covered by insurance, do not fear. You can do it yourself with a razor, a pair of needle nose pliers, and some 6lb fishing line!
9. Train yourself to put up with women. This is another one I have not actually attempted. I place this technique somewhere between female circumcision and learning to be gay. Essentially, you need to be conditioned to feel humiliation and powerlessness, and like it. Perhaps contract with a dominatrix who will urinate on you and beat you regularly for a period of time.
10. Marry a âtrad wifeâ, which is merely a term applied to chicks who are not taught to act like total bitches.
I sincerely hope these hacks work for you.
