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David French Founds New Group 'Evangelicals For Satan'
Politics·Aug 20, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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U.S. — American commentator and former attorney David French formed a new group Tuesday which he calls "Evangelicals For Satan."
"Christians who support God are hypocrites and must be taught a lesson. That's why I'm supporting Satan," French said in a NY Times opinion piece called "The Christian Case For Building A Golden Idol Of Satan And Bowing To It."
American evangelicals were immediately critical of French's new movement. "Does he even know what a Christian is?" asked Rod Grantly, a Sioux Falls, South Dakota preacher. "Rooting for Satan is kind of the opposite of Christianity, isn't it?"
Still, some remained supportive and even offered to join his group, admitting that they weren't sure it made sense, but noted that David French seemed pretty smart so he must know what he's doing. "He hates Trump, I hate Trump. The logic checks out," said Alan Gingrich, an extremely righteous Christian and known Never-Trumper. "God will certainly reward me for my advanced and thoughtful nuance on this matter."
French has informed evangelicals that he is way smarter than them and, therefore, correct. "The only way Christians can be loyal to Christ is by serving Satan," he said. "It's the only way!"
At publishing time, a local church had asked David French to "please stop talking about how great Satan is." In response, he published an op-ed lamenting how the church canceled him for engaging in free thought.
Politics·Aug 20, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.
U.S. — American commentator and former attorney David French formed a new group Tuesday which he calls "Evangelicals For Satan."
"Christians who support God are hypocrites and must be taught a lesson. That's why I'm supporting Satan," French said in a NY Times opinion piece called "The Christian Case For Building A Golden Idol Of Satan And Bowing To It."
American evangelicals were immediately critical of French's new movement. "Does he even know what a Christian is?" asked Rod Grantly, a Sioux Falls, South Dakota preacher. "Rooting for Satan is kind of the opposite of Christianity, isn't it?"
Still, some remained supportive and even offered to join his group, admitting that they weren't sure it made sense, but noted that David French seemed pretty smart so he must know what he's doing. "He hates Trump, I hate Trump. The logic checks out," said Alan Gingrich, an extremely righteous Christian and known Never-Trumper. "God will certainly reward me for my advanced and thoughtful nuance on this matter."
French has informed evangelicals that he is way smarter than them and, therefore, correct. "The only way Christians can be loyal to Christ is by serving Satan," he said. "It's the only way!"
At publishing time, a local church had asked David French to "please stop talking about how great Satan is." In response, he published an op-ed lamenting how the church canceled him for engaging in free thought.
