Freeligion

[RWS]

I'm starting a new religion...

You don't have to believe what I'm about to say, to be part of this religion....

But it will free your mind. Hopefully to the point that we can all get along again and make this world a better place.

 

[fncceo]

Hopefully to the point that we can all get along again and make this world a better place.

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"


He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"


He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"


Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

-- Emo Phillips

 

[RWS]

ok fuck it, never mind. There's actually a clothing line for freeligion...

Everybody has to make money...

including Emo.

 

[RWS]

OK, i came up with a new name....

Gorillagion

It's an idea where we can follow the lifestyles of gorillas, in order to help ourselves find inner peace and happiness.

 

[fncceo]

It's an idea where we can follow the lifestyles of gorillas

Gorillas have ugly wives ... you'll have to do better.

How about the way of the Guerilla?

 

[frigidweirdo]

I'm starting a new religion...

You don't have to believe what I'm about to say, to be part of this religion....

But it will free your mind. Hopefully to the point that we can all get along again and make this world a better place.

I've decided I'm the God of your new religion. Bow down and accept your place.

 

[fncceo]

I've decided I'm the God of your new religion. Bow down and accept your place.

Worst pickup line, EVAH.

 

[RWS]

Chimpanzeeism?

I know I'm reaching, but dang, I need a name for it!

Then I can make up the rest later...

 

[TheOldSchool]

 

[RWS]

Geez, I'm not getting anywhere here...

How 'bout Lemurism!!!

That's awesome! I love the name, and I can roll with that too...

 

[hobelim]

Geez, I'm not getting anywhere here...

How 'bout Lemurism!!!

That's awesome! I love the name, and I can roll with that too...

That one is already taken... They're the ones hiding in the treetops, shouting out rude names..


Baboons are mighty creatures. What about the Royal Order of Baboons?


Humble yourself before the moon king!

 

[RWS]

I thought about Baboonism, but it sounded too likely to be made fun of...

But you did give me an idea....

Howlerism!

We will shout out our ideas, even if it deafens you!! ? maybe? It's kinda cute...

 

[hobelim]

I thought about Baboonism, but it sounded too likely to be made fun of...

But you did give me an idea....

Howlerism!

We will shout out our ideas, even if it deafens you!! ? maybe? It's kinda cute...

I love it!

Everyone can get completely out of their tree and howl at the moon, howl at women, and anyone who refuses to howl, every other Thursday..

I think the other days of the week are already taken.

 

[ding]

Socialism

 

[RWS]

 

[ding]

RWS intentionally denies examination because RWS is irrational. There is no formal defined dogma of RWS. Instead there is only a vague, rosy notion of something good, noble and just: the advent of these things will bring instant euphoria and a social order beyond reproach. RWS seeks equality through uniformity and communal ownership. RWS has an extraordinary ability to be incited and inflamed by social movements. RWS dismisses his defeats and ignores his incongruities. RWS desires big government and uses big government to implement his morally relativistic social policies. RWS is a religion. The religious nature of RWS explains his hostility towards traditional religions which is that of one rival religion over another. RWS' dogma is based on materialism, primitive instincts, atheism and the deification of man. RWS sees no distinction between good and evil, no morality or any other kind of value, save pleasure. RWS practices moral relativity, indiscriminate indiscriminateness, multiculturalism, cultural Marxism and normalization of deviance. RWS worships science but is the first to reject it when it suits his purpose. RWS can be identified by an external locus of control. His religious doctrine is abolition of private property, abolition of family, abolition of religion and equality via uniformity and communal ownership. RWS practices critical theory which is the Cultural Marxist theory to criticize what he does not believe to arrive at what he does believe without ever having to examine what he believes. RWS confuses critical theory for critical thinking. Critical thinking is the practice of challenging what one does believe to test its validity. Something he never does.

 

[RWS]

It can make that woman shut up, so it's gotta be good...

 

[hobelim]

It can make that woman shut up, so it's gotta be good...

I'm getting ready to howl at ding... what a dick!

 

[RWS]

whoa, what dingbat?

Do you just have that text written up, and replace names as necessary, and post it as original material?

Ok, fuck howlerism.... It should be called Dingbatism....

 

[ding]