In your opinion....

[Gracie]

...why do some folks show such hatefulness on message boards? You know the kind: They butt in with some snarky remark, or use what someone else shared in a serious discussion that was an attempt to help and twist it all around to make it something else, or are just flat out rude and obnoxious.

Are they sick? Pain makes people be mean. Is it insecurity? Seeing people help others makes them feel left out maybe? Or are they just flat out mean to the core? They can't see the person they aim their barbs at...they just let fly with no holding back. Why? Any clue, in your opinion, why there is no governor on their typing a post?

 

[BDBoop]

I think habit plays a part, but beyond that they've given themselves permission. This I find odd, because almost without exception they claim to be people of faith.

Beyond that, I cannot accept that they are happy in real life.

That's not what happiness looks like.

 

[TemplarKormac]

I've gathered that it gives them a sense of superiority over others. Nonexistent mind you. Being a man of faith, the only thing I'm superior to is the dirt beneath my feet, and even then it's a close contest. Superiority is overrated.

 

[Gracie]

Perhaps they want to tear down anyone to their level? If they are miserable, then so must everyone else? I have mused on this strange behavior for years and still have no answer.

 

[Lumpy 1]

I tend to think it has to do with a lack of admirable examples growing up and the coarsening and acceptance of poor attitudes in general. Somewhere in it all guilt and insecurity rear there ugly heads also.

 

[TemplarKormac]

Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. —Proverbs 26:4 (KJV)

 

[Lumpy 1]

Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. —Proverbs 26:4 (KJV)

It's a shame people can't read the bible even if they only do it for the wisdom.

 

[TemplarKormac]

Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him. —Proverbs 26:4 (KJV)

It's a shame people can't read the bible even if they only do it for the wisdom.

I know.

But here's one they might.

Never argue with a fool; onlookers may not be able to tell the difference. —Mark Twain

 

[BDBoop]

Perhaps they want to tear down anyone to their level? If they are miserable, then so must everyone else? I have mused on this strange behavior for years and still have no answer.

I think the book of James must be missing from their Bible.

Also, Phil 4:8.

 

[BDBoop]

A critical spirit?

Do You have a Critical Spirit?

From over 10,000 case studies, he discovered that there was a common trait with all his patients who suffered from severe tension. They were habitual fault-finders, constant critics of people and things around them. Those who were free from tension, were the least critical. His conclusions were that the habit of fault-finding is a prelude or mark of the nervous, or the mentally unbalanced. Those who wish to retain good emotional and mental health, should learn to free themselves from a negative and critical attitude.

Remember this, the Bible doesn’t promise peace to those who dwell on the faults of others! It says that the Lord will keep them in perfect peace, whose minds are stayed on Him! (Isaiah 26:3).

 

[TemplarKormac]

Perhaps they want to tear down anyone to their level? If they are miserable, then so must everyone else? I have mused on this strange behavior for years and still have no answer.

I think the book of James must be missing from their Bible.

Also, Phil 4:8.

Not from mine. I know this verse well.

 

[BDBoop]

Perhaps they want to tear down anyone to their level? If they are miserable, then so must everyone else? I have mused on this strange behavior for years and still have no answer.

I think the book of James must be missing from their Bible.

Also, Phil 4:8.

Not from mine. I know this verse well.

Okay, we're talking about toxic people right now.

 

[TemplarKormac]

I think the book of James must be missing from their Bible.

Also, Phil 4:8.

Not from mine. I know this verse well.

Okay, we're talking about toxic people right now.

I know. I just want people to be rest assured that I am not one of them, although I used to be at one point in my life. Good night folks.

 

[Two Thumbs]

The irony of the use of the words 'they' and 'them' in this thread is SWEET.



I come here to blow off steam and entertain myself, I post, as you described, twards people that post like that. I leave normal people alone or reply back to them as they act.

 

[Gracie]

I used to be pretty angry myself. Insecure. But I never went out of my way to go hunt someone down just to be crude to them. I fought back, yes. Pretty nastily too. But I never gave what wasn't dished. Back me in a corner, and I would come out swinging. Hard. Dirty and mean. Then, I guess I had an ephiphany. A friend of mine always stayed out of the bickering and name calling and overall nastiness and singled me out and said "you are not fighting back any more. You are being MEAN". It was like a slap in the face. It took awhile, but I learned to curb my temper. Oh, it still simmers but now I just walk away. Unless I am feeling pretty unwell, or am tired, or something happened the day the "bully" decided it is a good day to rag me. Then I say my usual "fuck you", THEN walk away. Before, I would continue on with the bullshit arguing that got me nowhere except higher blood pressure and the other person thrilled they pushed more buttons. Now? I find a new thread and try like hell to avoid that person. I had this person on ignore for some time, then took them off once because they used the [MENTION=42649]Gracie[/MENTION] feature and I thought "maybe they said something they wanted me to see that was not so nasty". Wrong. I even thanked this person for some posts that agreed with my perspective. In response, I got more nasty remarks. So I took them on again. Waited a few months, took them back off again. My mistake. This last proverbial straw was me telling too much about my past life experiences to someone experiencing the same problem and here she comes...judging me about something she has no clue about yet finding it enjoyable to poke me about it. I was not refering to her at all. I was trying to help someone else.
It pissed me off. Big time. Hence, the last "fuck you", the deciding on whether to close my rep system AFTER I neg her because if she negs me...all my rep goes bye bye. Every bit of it. Which in turn makes me wonder why I care about my rep so much. Do I want it so others can see I am a fair and decent person who thanks and is thanked back...or do I have it for vanity? I still haven't figured that out yet. Still musing on it. Then I mused that why should I be afraid of what some stupid points make after being treated like a pile of crap when I didn't deserve it. I even tried to talk to this person about how we used to get along lightly when I was here before and was called a stalker no matter who I was talking to in any thread she happened to be in herself, yet I never addressed her at all. Not only did it make it more confusing for me, it began to dredge up the old MEAN me and it took a lot of willpower to not let loose and wind up getting banned. And the good folks here outweigh the bad.
So then I debated on whether one person spoiling the whole barrel was worth me leaving a place I have come to enjoy because of the people I have met here and have treated me accordingly....if I do or say something that warrants a finger waggle...then I respect them enough to listen. And there are more of them than this ONE bitter woman that has nothing nice to say about anyone and is always ready to pounce ...either on me, or some other person. So I am still at the musing point of the whys and wherefores. For now...she is on ignore. For good. Maybe that will help me keep enjoying USMB even though I may not agree with everyone and perhaps bicker now and then but I always still walk away from the convo respecting their opinion and forgetting about the spat the next day. Except for this one person. Her tongue is a dagger and she never hesitates to use it. I think of others who did the same and were kicked to the curb, so I wonder why she is exempt in her nastiness...which brings me back to wondering if I should even stay. Then I wonder why I should even CONSIDER leaving over someone that means squat when so many mean a lot to me.

Whew. Too much said. I think I need to go to bed. At least if she sees this thread and comes to spit and foam, I won't see it. Unless someone quotes her. Then I will have to use self control again. Which brings me back to all the musings and square one again.

I'm tired. Too much thinking. She isn't worth it.

Goodnight folks.

 

[BDBoop]

Nite hon. And maybe swing through the Coffee Shop. It's a good place to kick back and not worry about taking a psychic bullet.

 

[Darkwind]

Ask yourself.

Do you think that this person would speak the same way to you face-to-face?

If you conclude they would not.........then you know why they behave that way on a forum such as this.

 

[Wolfsister77]

Keep her on ignore Gracie. Enjoy the boards. If she negs you, ignore it. If she harasses you, report it. Just pretend she doesn't exist. It's the only way to deal with people like this.

 

[BDBoop]

Keep her on ignore Gracie. Enjoy the boards. If she negs you, ignore it. If she harasses you, report it. Just pretend she doesn't exist. It's the only way to deal with people like this.

Yup. I have dealt with such a person/situation, and bleep if I know how they can live that kind of ugly every time they show up here. There are no standards by which such a person would be deemed anywhere near mentally healthy. It goes well beyond TT's post above re: venting.

There are two people on this board who could post they were dying, and I'd have to put away my keyboard so I wouldn't post "Gee, I hope you're not surprised. Karma works." and I know that's not logical because hello, kids get cancer. Bad things happen to good people.

This does not negate the damage that toxicity does to a perpetrator.

 

[Moonglow]

I used to be pretty angry myself. Insecure. But I never went out of my way to go hunt someone down just to be crude to them. I fought back, yes. Pretty nastily too. But I never gave what wasn't dished. Back me in a corner, and I would come out swinging. Hard. Dirty and mean. Then, I guess I had an ephiphany. A friend of mine always stayed out of the bickering and name calling and overall nastiness and singled me out and said "you are not fighting back any more. You are being MEAN". It was like a slap in the face. It took awhile, but I learned to curb my temper. Oh, it still simmers but now I just walk away. Unless I am feeling pretty unwell, or am tired, or something happened the day the "bully" decided it is a good day to rag me. Then I say my usual "fuck you", THEN walk away. Before, I would continue on with the bullshit arguing that got me nowhere except higher blood pressure and the other person thrilled they pushed more buttons. Now? I find a new thread and try like hell to avoid that person. I had this person on ignore for some time, then took them off once because they used the [MENTION=42649]Gracie[/MENTION] feature and I thought "maybe they said something they wanted me to see that was not so nasty". Wrong. I even thanked this person for some posts that agreed with my perspective. In response, I got more nasty remarks. So I took them on again. Waited a few months, took them back off again. My mistake. This last proverbial straw was me telling too much about my past life experiences to someone experiencing the same problem and here she comes...judging me about something she has no clue about yet finding it enjoyable to poke me about it. I was not refering to her at all. I was trying to help someone else.
It pissed me off. Big time. Hence, the last "fuck you", the deciding on whether to close my rep system AFTER I neg her because if she negs me...all my rep goes bye bye. Every bit of it. Which in turn makes me wonder why I care about my rep so much. Do I want it so others can see I am a fair and decent person who thanks and is thanked back...or do I have it for vanity? I still haven't figured that out yet. Still musing on it. Then I mused that why should I be afraid of what some stupid points make after being treated like a pile of crap when I didn't deserve it. I even tried to talk to this person about how we used to get along lightly when I was here before and was called a stalker no matter who I was talking to in any thread she happened to be in herself, yet I never addressed her at all. Not only did it make it more confusing for me, it began to dredge up the old MEAN me and it took a lot of willpower to not let loose and wind up getting banned. And the good folks here outweigh the bad.
So then I debated on whether one person spoiling the whole barrel was worth me leaving a place I have come to enjoy because of the people I have met here and have treated me accordingly....if I do or say something that warrants a finger waggle...then I respect them enough to listen. And there are more of them than this ONE bitter woman that has nothing nice to say about anyone and is always ready to pounce ...either on me, or some other person. So I am still at the musing point of the whys and wherefores. For now...she is on ignore. For good. Maybe that will help me keep enjoying USMB even though I may not agree with everyone and perhaps bicker now and then but I always still walk away from the convo respecting their opinion and forgetting about the spat the next day. Except for this one person. Her tongue is a dagger and she never hesitates to use it. I think of others who did the same and were kicked to the curb, so I wonder why she is exempt in her nastiness...which brings me back to wondering if I should even stay. Then I wonder why I should even CONSIDER leaving over someone that means squat when so many mean a lot to me.

Whew. Too much said. I think I need to go to bed. At least if she sees this thread and comes to spit and foam, I won't see it. Unless someone quotes her. Then I will have to use self control again. Which brings me back to all the musings and square one again.

I'm tired. Too much thinking. She isn't worth it.

Goodnight folks.

I too had bad anger issues and tended to yell and berate people, especially after the military and running a crew of men and women to produce all they could while performing heavy labor.