In your opinion....

[Spoonman]

I used to be pretty angry myself. Insecure. But I never went out of my way to go hunt someone down just to be crude to them. I fought back, yes. Pretty nastily too. But I never gave what wasn't dished. Back me in a corner, and I would come out swinging. Hard. Dirty and mean. Then, I guess I had an ephiphany. A friend of mine always stayed out of the bickering and name calling and overall nastiness and singled me out and said "you are not fighting back any more. You are being MEAN". It was like a slap in the face. It took awhile, but I learned to curb my temper. Oh, it still simmers but now I just walk away. Unless I am feeling pretty unwell, or am tired, or something happened the day the "bully" decided it is a good day to rag me. Then I say my usual "fuck you", THEN walk away. Before, I would continue on with the bullshit arguing that got me nowhere except higher blood pressure and the other person thrilled they pushed more buttons. Now? I find a new thread and try like hell to avoid that person. I had this person on ignore for some time, then took them off once because they used the [MENTION=42649]Gracie[/MENTION] feature and I thought "maybe they said something they wanted me to see that was not so nasty". Wrong. I even thanked this person for some posts that agreed with my perspective. In response, I got more nasty remarks. So I took them on again. Waited a few months, took them back off again. My mistake. This last proverbial straw was me telling too much about my past life experiences to someone experiencing the same problem and here she comes...judging me about something she has no clue about yet finding it enjoyable to poke me about it. I was not refering to her at all. I was trying to help someone else.
It pissed me off. Big time. Hence, the last "fuck you", the deciding on whether to close my rep system AFTER I neg her because if she negs me...all my rep goes bye bye. Every bit of it. Which in turn makes me wonder why I care about my rep so much. Do I want it so others can see I am a fair and decent person who thanks and is thanked back...or do I have it for vanity? I still haven't figured that out yet. Still musing on it. Then I mused that why should I be afraid of what some stupid points make after being treated like a pile of crap when I didn't deserve it. I even tried to talk to this person about how we used to get along lightly when I was here before and was called a stalker no matter who I was talking to in any thread she happened to be in herself, yet I never addressed her at all. Not only did it make it more confusing for me, it began to dredge up the old MEAN me and it took a lot of willpower to not let loose and wind up getting banned. And the good folks here outweigh the bad.
So then I debated on whether one person spoiling the whole barrel was worth me leaving a place I have come to enjoy because of the people I have met here and have treated me accordingly....if I do or say something that warrants a finger waggle...then I respect them enough to listen. And there are more of them than this ONE bitter woman that has nothing nice to say about anyone and is always ready to pounce ...either on me, or some other person. So I am still at the musing point of the whys and wherefores. For now...she is on ignore. For good. Maybe that will help me keep enjoying USMB even though I may not agree with everyone and perhaps bicker now and then but I always still walk away from the convo respecting their opinion and forgetting about the spat the next day. Except for this one person. Her tongue is a dagger and she never hesitates to use it. I think of others who did the same and were kicked to the curb, so I wonder why she is exempt in her nastiness...which brings me back to wondering if I should even stay. Then I wonder why I should even CONSIDER leaving over someone that means squat when so many mean a lot to me.

Whew. Too much said. I think I need to go to bed. At least if she sees this thread and comes to spit and foam, I won't see it. Unless someone quotes her. Then I will have to use self control again. Which brings me back to all the musings and square one again.

I'm tired. Too much thinking. She isn't worth it.

Goodnight folks.

its a message board. don't take any of this shit seriously. besides not being worth it, it really is worthless. what do you really care what some tool typing on a keyboard thinks about you? do they really matter in your life? if someone has a bully mentality they are looking for some kind of reaction from you. if you don't want to deal with it, why react at all? there are some rep bullies here. but i think they have rules inplace now to minimize that. in the end, enough people will plus rep you to more than make up for what some idiot does. just go with your own flow and don't worry about those who don't really concern you

 

[martybegan]

...why do some folks show such hatefulness on message boards? You know the kind: They butt in with some snarky remark, or use what someone else shared in a serious discussion that was an attempt to help and twist it all around to make it something else, or are just flat out rude and obnoxious.

Are they sick? Pain makes people be mean. Is it insecurity? Seeing people help others makes them feel left out maybe? Or are they just flat out mean to the core? They can't see the person they aim their barbs at...they just let fly with no holding back. Why? Any clue, in your opinion, why there is no governor on their typing a post?

This explains it all:

 

[Spoonman]

Keep her on ignore Gracie. Enjoy the boards. If she negs you, ignore it. If she harasses you, report it. Just pretend she doesn't exist. It's the only way to deal with people like this.

see, now if it was me and someone was harrasing me, there is no way in hell i'd put them on ignore. i'd rather watch them waste there time flapping their gums in vain lol

 

[BDBoop]

its a message board. don't take any of this shit seriously. besides not being worth it, it really is worthless. what do you really care what some tool typing on a keyboard thinks about you? do they really matter in your life? if someone has a bully mentality they are looking for some kind of reaction from you. if you don't want to deal with it, why react at all? there are some rep bullies here. but i think they have rules inplace now to minimize that. in the end, enough people will plus rep you to more than make up for what some idiot does. just go with your own flow and don't worry about those who don't really concern you

Have you ever been on the receiving end of such behavior. I doubt it. You got a neg or two? Not comparable. This is damage over time, and it wears a person down, especially if such a person is an optimist to begin with, and can't understand why they have a new Internet hemorrhoid permanently lodged up their ass.

I'm going to start pos-repping Gracie as often as possible, because she's my sister from another mother, and she doesn't deserve this shit.

 

[Spoonman]

its a message board. don't take any of this shit seriously. besides not being worth it, it really is worthless. what do you really care what some tool typing on a keyboard thinks about you? do they really matter in your life? if someone has a bully mentality they are looking for some kind of reaction from you. if you don't want to deal with it, why react at all? there are some rep bullies here. but i think they have rules inplace now to minimize that. in the end, enough people will plus rep you to more than make up for what some idiot does. just go with your own flow and don't worry about those who don't really concern you

Have you ever been on the receiving end of such behavior. I doubt it. You got a neg or two? Not comparable. This is damage over time, and it wears a person down, especially if such a person is an optimist to begin with, and can't understand why they have a new Internet hemorrhoid permanently lodged up their ass.

I'm going to start pos-ripping Gracie as often as possible, because she's my sister from another mother, and she doesn't deserve this shit.

you sure jump to an aweful lot of conclusions about me for not having that faintest idea.

 

[BDBoop]

Oh good.

Well then things we've established today:

Gracie and Spoonman are not interchangeable -check!

 

[Spoonman]

Oh good.

Well then things we've established today:

Gracie and Spoonman are not interchangeable -check!

i have no issues with gracie. i like gracie. I 've known her for a long time and she knows where i stand.

 

[BDBoop]

its a message board. don't take any of this shit seriously. besides not being worth it, it really is worthless. what do you really care what some tool typing on a keyboard thinks about you? do they really matter in your life? if someone has a bully mentality they are looking for some kind of reaction from you. if you don't want to deal with it, why react at all? there are some rep bullies here. but i think they have rules inplace now to minimize that. in the end, enough people will plus rep you to more than make up for what some idiot does. just go with your own flow and don't worry about those who don't really concern you

Have you ever been on the receiving end of such behavior. I doubt it. You got a neg or two? Not comparable. This is damage over time, and it wears a person down, especially if such a person is an optimist to begin with, and can't understand why they have a new Internet hemorrhoid permanently lodged up their ass.

I'm going to start pos-ripping Gracie as often as possible, because she's my sister from another mother, and she doesn't deserve this shit.

you sure jump to an aweful lot of conclusions about me for not having that faintest idea.

Really? An awful lot of conclusions. Do tell. I see one, that being you've not been through what she's going through.

Kindly point out the rest, por favor.

 

[Spoonman]

Have you ever been on the receiving end of such behavior. I doubt it. You got a neg or two? Not comparable. This is damage over time, and it wears a person down, especially if such a person is an optimist to begin with, and can't understand why they have a new Internet hemorrhoid permanently lodged up their ass.

I'm going to start pos-ripping Gracie as often as possible, because she's my sister from another mother, and she doesn't deserve this shit.

you sure jump to an aweful lot of conclusions about me for not having that faintest idea.

Really? An awful lot of conclusions. Do tell. I see one, that being you've not been through what she's going through.

Kindly point out the rest, por favor.

yep, that the conclusion you jumped to

 

[BDBoop]

Oh good.

Well then things we've established today:

Gracie and Spoonman are not interchangeable -check!

i have no issues with gracie. i like gracie. I 've known her for a long time and she knows where i stand.

That's good to hear. Now why don't you do what good friends do, and stop minimizing what she's going through.

She's probably going to come back and be sad that we are both her friends, and we're at odds in her venting thread, so I shall apologize in advance for any inconvenience my murderous rampage may have caused.

 

[BDBoop]

you sure jump to an aweful lot of conclusions about me for not having that faintest idea.

Really? An awful lot of conclusions. Do tell. I see one, that being you've not been through what she's going through.

Kindly point out the rest, por favor.

yep, that the conclusion you jumped to

Yes. Just the one.

Thank you.

 

[Mertex]

There are probably different reasons why people are toxic with other members. Most of the people that spew out ugly and demeaning words at another member, are usually those that are not very intelligent or educated. They lack the words to explain their position on any topic and their frustration makes them spew out that which is common in their vocabulary.

They may develop a hatred for someone that holds a different view on any particular subject and because they are unable to intelligently defend their position, they rely on insults to get back at that person. After a while, they don't even care about the topic they disagree on, they just know they hate that person and want to insult them whenever they have an opportunity.

I don't let anyone get to me, because those who would do that are irrelevant to me. There are members here who I may disagree with on different issues, but who I respect and have a good relationship with. There is no reason for being ugly to another member, even when you don't agree on anything......especially if you have claimed to be a Christian.

 

[Spoonman]

There are probably different reasons why people are toxic with other members. Most of the people that spew out ugly and demeaning words at another member, are usually those that are not very intelligent or educated. They lack the words to explain their position on any topic and their frustration makes them spew out that which is common in their vocabulary.

They may develop a hatred for someone that holds a different view on any particular subject and because they are unable to intelligently defend their position, they rely on insults to get back at that person. After a while, they don't even care about the topic they disagree on, they just know they hate that person and want to insult them whenever they have an opportunity.

I don't let anyone get to me, because those who would do that are irrelevant to me. There are members here who I may disagree with on different issues, but who I respect and have a good relationship with. There is no reason for being ugly to another member, even when you don't agree on anything......especially if you have claimed to be a Christian.

my point exactly. its a mesage board. some idiot is not worthletting your life be in turmoil. what is some anonymous bozo worth anyway.

 

[Mertex]

There are probably different reasons why people are toxic with other members. Most of the people that spew out ugly and demeaning words at another member, are usually those that are not very intelligent or educated. They lack the words to explain their position on any topic and their frustration makes them spew out that which is common in their vocabulary.

They may develop a hatred for someone that holds a different view on any particular subject and because they are unable to intelligently defend their position, they rely on insults to get back at that person. After a while, they don't even care about the topic they disagree on, they just know they hate that person and want to insult them whenever they have an opportunity.

I don't let anyone get to me, because those who would do that are irrelevant to me. There are members here who I may disagree with on different issues, but who I respect and have a good relationship with. There is no reason for being ugly to another member, even when you don't agree on anything......especially if you have claimed to be a Christian.

my point exactly. its a mesage board. some idiot is not worthletting your life be in turmoil. what is some anonymous bozo worth anyway.

I understand Gracie's point of view, because even though I don't allow anyone to hurt me by their mere words, I still don't understand how a person, especially one that claims to be a Chrisitian, can spew demeaning words at another person based on some past exchange they had on another thread. But, based on my opinion on why they do it (which I said in my previous post), I am able to disregard whatever anyone calls me and not let their words affect me in the way a person saying it to my face would.

Even though this is just a message board, people develop feelings toward others and when another member disrespects them in front of others, it can sometimes hurt deeply.

Gracie needs to realize that there will always be jerks in this world. You can't change them, but you can change your reaction to them - and that makes a world of difference.

 

[Wolfsister77]

One thing that's great about ignoring a person is that the person looks like a real creep when they say something nasty and get no response. Anybody reading it is going to see who the jerk is. So if it bothers you, then ignore is best. People like this enjoy getting a bad reaction from whoever they are harassing. It's like they are unhappy in their personal life and are taking it out on others or want to feel superior to others or they are bored and looking for entertainment.

Don't give them the satisfaction. I learned this the hard way as I used to react. But what does it to do but raise my BP?

I already am on meds for that. I do message boards for fun. Not aggravation.

 

[BDBoop]

Exactly. I don't even open the neg reps - take away their voice completely. Scroll past when people quote them.

That's all I got, really.

I will say this though. Read the rules thread, word-for-word, and report based on which rule was broken. In my experience, admin and staff are very helpful. But you have to loop them, and you have to be patient.

 

[Baruch Menachem]

 

[Spoonman]

Exactly. I don't even open the neg reps - take away their voice completely. Scroll past when people quote them.

That's all I got, really.

I will say this though. Read the rules thread, word-for-word, and report based on which rule was broken. In my experience, admin and staff are very helpful. But you have to loop them, and you have to be patient.

This board is tame, because it is moderated. there are a lot of boards out there that are unmoderated if you really want to see the fur fly.

 

[Mertex]

Exactly. I don't even open the neg reps - take away their voice completely. Scroll past when people quote them.

That's all I got, really.

I will say this though. Read the rules thread, word-for-word, and report based on which rule was broken. In my experience, admin and staff are very helpful. But you have to loop them, and you have to be patient.

This board is tame, because it is moderated. there are a lot of boards out there that are unmoderated if you really want to see the fur fly.

It's the same rhetoric over and over, though, only they don't hold back on the cuss words ands insults - who needs that? After a while that is why one doesn't even bother to discuss certain topics, because it's the same thing over and over - nobody is changing anyone's mind.

 

[Spoonman]

There are probably different reasons why people are toxic with other members. Most of the people that spew out ugly and demeaning words at another member, are usually those that are not very intelligent or educated. They lack the words to explain their position on any topic and their frustration makes them spew out that which is common in their vocabulary.

They may develop a hatred for someone that holds a different view on any particular subject and because they are unable to intelligently defend their position, they rely on insults to get back at that person. After a while, they don't even care about the topic they disagree on, they just know they hate that person and want to insult them whenever they have an opportunity.

I don't let anyone get to me, because those who would do that are irrelevant to me. There are members here who I may disagree with on different issues, but who I respect and have a good relationship with. There is no reason for being ugly to another member, even when you don't agree on anything......especially if you have claimed to be a Christian.

my point exactly. its a mesage board. some idiot is not worthletting your life be in turmoil. what is some anonymous bozo worth anyway.

I understand Gracie's point of view, because even though I don't allow anyone to hurt me by their mere words, I still don't understand how a person, especially one that claims to be a Chrisitian, can spew demeaning words at another person based on some past exchange they had on another thread. But, based on my opinion on why they do it (which I said in my previous post), I am able to disregard whatever anyone calls me and not let their words affect me in the way a person saying it to my face would.

Even though this is just a message board, people develop feelings toward others and when another member disrespects them in front of others, it can sometimes hurt deeply.

Gracie needs to realize that there will always be jerks in this world. You can't change them, but you can change your reaction to them - and that makes a world of difference.

i do understand that some people are more sensitive to this stuff than i am. and i'm not trying to put gracie down for letting it get to her. i'm suggesting she blow it off because in the scope of reality, it really doesn't matter. who ever it is should mean nothing to her. here or in her real life. and yes there will always be jerks in your life. in your real life too. and those are the ones that are harder to ignore. sometime you can't. they could be a coworker, or worse a boss. while perception is one thing, i don't think any of gracies friends here are going to think any less of her because of what some internet putz says.

I honestly believe a lot of the people here don't even believe half of what they post. they are either playing a role or looking for a reaction