I've been working with a therapist who was offered to me by the police. Was it a wise decision to work with her?

[shockedcanadian]

You don't need therapy. You already know the diagnosis. You need to get a divorce or reconcile yourself to the fact that this will be your life until you die. Therapy isn't going to change your circumstances one bit. And I feel your wife also has a story to tell.
You don't have post traumatic stress, you have reoccurring stress. If you choose to stay in that situation, then accept the consequences. I have a feeling you two are co-dependent and change scares you. What your therapist needs to tell you is your situation will only get better if you make the decision to get away from each other. Do you own your home? Sell it and get as far away from each other as you can. Remove yourself from the "trauma"...

I am coming to this conclusion more and more everyday. My vows mean so much to me, as Jesus demanded that divorce is only acceptable with adultery. I have no evidence she ever cheated on me.

If we will not be together, I have to find a way to split without violating our vows. She needs help, I wanted to be that rock that she always called me. I am hurt by it all and confused. More confused when isolated and such.

As for her story, of course she has one, I can tell you it is based on issues unrelated to violence, verbal abuse (of course I get sharp with my words when she throws something at me, punches me or hits me with a weapon) or infidelity (although she accused me of "F'ing that girl" who I played guitar hero with at a party).

In fact, I have been propositioned by a married woman when out on my own before and I politely declined. She happened to be a stunning lady, but I remained faithful.

 

[Rocko]

It's just been a very long time in which I have been dealt a raw hand.

It's very difficult. I took four days to post it on here as I was embarrassed, nervous, confused even fearful of judgement. 20 Years ago I had confidence and clarity, I was essentially trapped with no good options once married and we bought the house together.

You guys are sadly the most trustworthy to me. I once reached out to the U.S military to see if I could join when you were fighting battles we weren't involved in, I respect liberty and standing up for principle. All of it is challenged when you suspect you will face lies and slander, while trying to process many years of insane physical abuse, threats and verbal attacks.

Sometimes you have to be vulnerable. Don’t let your fear of being judged get the best of you. I would recommend you give therapy a go. I would image that a good therapist has more potential of helping you with you’re personal problems than people on this message board.

 

[shockedcanadian]

Sometimes you have to be vulnerable. Don’t let your fear of being judged get the best of you. I would recommend you give therapy a go. I would image that a good therapist has more potential of helping you with you’re personal problems than people on this message board.

She's been alright after two sessions. Honestly, the participants on this board have been very helpful. I think because I have been very honest on here and I am myself, many of you "know me" per se.

It's important to me to have a place like this to be honest. I want people to know the facts of what I have been through for decades. I want people to judge my nation and the police apparatus based on how I am treated here.

I called 911 (she unplugged the phone once), I was driven to the point that I couldn't be blackmailed anymore, it was a desperate call and I regret it as of today.

 

[The Irish Ram]

The Bible also addresses physical and emotional abuse and neglect. You don't need to get a divorce. You do need a new location...

 

[Rocko]

She's been alright after two sessions. Honestly, the participants on this board have been very helpful. I think because I have been very honest on here and I am myself, many of you "know me" per se.

It's important to me to have a place like this to be honest. I want people to know the facts of what I have been through for decades. I want people to judge my nation and the police apparatus based on how I am treated here.

I called 911 (she unplugged the phone once), I was driven to the point that I couldn't be blackmailed anymore, it was a desperate call and I regret it as of today.

Whatever helps. Whether it’s getting feedback from a therapist or just other posters on this board I hope it’s cathartic tool for you.

 

[Donald H]

I am coming to this conclusion more and more everyday. My vows mean so much to me, as Jesus demanded that divorce is only acceptable with adultery. I have no evidence she ever cheated on me.

If we will not be together, I have to find a way to split without violating our vows. She needs help, I wanted to be that rock that she always called me. I am hurt by it all and confused. More confused when isolated and such.

As for her story, of course she has one, I can tell you it is based on issues unrelated to violence, verbal abuse (of course I get sharp with my words when she throws something at me, punches me or hits me with a weapon) or infidelity (although she accused me of "F'ing that girl" who I played guitar hero with at a party).

In fact, I have been propositioned by a married woman when out on my own before and I politely declined. She happened to be a stunning lady, but I remained faithful.

Don't leave your home and don't leave your wife. She loves you.

 

[shockedcanadian]

Don't leave your home and don't leave your wife. She loves you.

How would you know? Very few would define her actions against me as "love". Whatnot be worse is the lies and slander, that is just pure evil IMO.

 

[The Irish Ram]

I'm glad we can be here for you. Talking is therapy. But it won't change your circumstances unless she is in therapy too and willing to implement change.
Look for a cheap apartment to rent and see if it relieves your stress. If not, move back home, but I would think you'd breathe a sigh of relief in a nice quiet safe spot...

 

[shockedcanadian]

I'm glad we can be here for you. Talking is therapy. But it won't change your circumstances unless she is in therapy too and willing to implement change.
Look for a cheap apartment to rent and see if it relieves your stress. If not, move back home, but I would think you'd breathe a sigh of relief in a nice quiet safe spot...

It's quiet now.with her gone but it's not very enjoyable.

 

[The Irish Ram]

Don't leave your home and don't leave your wife. She loves you.

Then she has a skewed version of love. She makes her husband miserable.

 

[The Irish Ram]

It's quiet now.with her.gone.but it's not very enjoyable.

Is it enjoyable when she is there? Sometimes?

 

[surada]

I am coming to this conclusion more and more everyday. My vows mean so much to me, as Jesus demanded that divorce is only acceptable with adultery. I have no evidence she ever cheated on me.

If we will not be together, I have to find a way to split without violating our vows. She needs help, I wanted to be that rock that she always called me. I am hurt by it all and confused. More confused when isolated and such.

As for her story, of course she has one, I can tell you it is based on issues unrelated to violence, verbal abuse (of course I get sharp with my words when she throws something at me, punches me or hits me with a weapon) or infidelity (although she accused me of "F'ing that girl" who I played guitar hero with at a party).

In fact, I have been propositioned by a married woman when out on my own before and I politely declined. She happened to be a stunning lady, but I remained faithful.

You sure are self-righteous and passive aggressive.

 

[shockedcanadian]

You sure are self-righteous and passive aggressive.

Passive aggressive how? As for self righteous, she physically abused me not the other way around. You don't what I've been through and she threatened me into paralysis so that others wouldn't know. I cannot tell a lie, I'm trying to get into heaven

 

[shockedcanadian]

Is it enjoyable when she is there? Sometimes?

Yes, sometimes it is enjoyable when she is here. It's just been that increasingly more of the time it was not enjoyable since she played slots more regularly and couldn't control her anger. Once her dad passed I took the abuse for both of us that we once shared.

 

[The Irish Ram]

Where did she go? Are you happier with her gone or when she is there?

 

[The Irish Ram]

Passive aggressive how? As for self righteous, she physically abused me not the other way around. You don't what I've been through and she threatened me into paralysis so that others wouldn't know. I cannot tell a lie, I'm trying to get into heaven

You can't work your way into Heaven by being a good boy. Your work has nothing to do with it. Christ's work on the cross has everything to do with it.
You belong to Christ. Your place at your Father's table is already reserved. Your name is already written in the book of life. And your long suffering has been noted.
Where does she get the money to gamble? How much does she lose?

 

[shockedcanadian]

You can't work your way into Heaven by being a good boy. Your work has nothing to do with it. Christ's work on the cross has everything to do with it.
You belong to Christ. Your place at your Father's table is already reserved. Your name is already written in the book of life. And your long suffering has been noted.
Where does she get the money to gamble? How much does she lose?

She's lost thousands. Disregarding all manner of responsibility at times.

 

[The Irish Ram]

Are there any times when she is rational enough to talk to her about her gambling addiction? Does she think it's a problem?
What would be her reaction if she saw you packing a suitcase to leave?

 

[okfine]

I wouldn't let somebody beat and piss on me. I would have kicked her to the curb and tried out one of those other broads that propositioned you. Like the one in your air guitar duo.

 

[shockedcanadian]

Are there any times when she is rational enough to talk to her about her gambling addiction? Does she think it's a problem?
What would be her reaction if she saw you packing a suitcase to leave?

If she saw me leaving (say, two months.ago) she would be unpredictable. Might threaten me, might not care at all, it depends in her moo or if she is in too much debt. Today I don't feel she cares much, it's impossible to know though since we can't communicate.