Cecilie1200
Diamond Member
What makes you think I wouldn't guide her? What makes you think I wouldn't advise her? I would do both - in allowing her to make the decision.
Children do NOT want to be told, "I'm sure you know what's best, honey. I'll support you in whatever decision you make." They want to be told, "Everything's going to be all right. I know just how to handle this and make it be okay. Here's the plan." You're their PARENT. That's your JOB. For thirteen years - in the case of the hypothetical girl this thread's about - you've been their source of comfort, knowledge, and wisdom. You're the person who knows how to make the bleeding stop, whose kisses make the pain go away, whose hugs can soothe upset stomachs, who knows how to make up with an angry best friend, who can explain long division . . . You're MOMMY.
The main reason children are afraid to tell their parents when they screw up is NOT because they're afraid of their parents going ballistic and beating them. It's because those two people, Mommy and Daddy, are the center of that child's life, the people from whom their entire self-image flows, the people whose love and good esteem they need most in the world, and they're terrified of having those people suddenly think they're less than wonderful. That's certainly how it was with me and my parents. But however much they dread that anger and disappointment, they also know that once they bite the bullet and tell, they're going to have the comfort and safety of knowing that now they aren't alone, having to depend only on their own knowledge and abilities, that they've brought in the big guns to handle it.
And you want to pat 'em on the back and tell 'em they're on their own, you're sure they'll do fine?