Protests: Fifty Shades as Glamorizing Domestic Violence

[Disir]

No. It is not domestic violence. Domestic violence is non-consensual. There are no safe-words or set limits.

Like I said, just because a person finds a person who agrees to be abused, does not mean it is no longer abuse.

It's about consent. Simply because you have no knowledge of it, does not make it abuse.

It also requires a level of trust that many vanilla do not encounter once in their life time.


Once you get into the beating, it's about endorphins.

I disagree. It is glorified violence. Like I said, a lot of people who were abused as children confuse violence and abuse with affection and love. They are not healthy functioning people. Abusing them and calling it "sex" is wrong.

You're making the assumption that kinksters were abused as children. You have no data that supports this. None. It's high theater. They are not only healthy and functioning people there is an entire network nationally that supports kinksters, including attorneys. You just don't like it. That's fine.
The Kink Aware Professionals Directory

Ok Disir so similar with homosexuals and transgender who weren't all abused as children.

Why not conduct a study on spiritual healing, with voluntary participation by self-chosen subjects, and see how many of these people change their behavior or not?

Some of the healing goes into "generational" issues before their current family and environment, sort of like inheriting things genetically but this is either psychological or spiritual and not always genetically traceable.

Spiritual healing addresses those levels, too, not just immediate influences and relations
but unconscious patterns people may not know they carry from the past. Buddhists call this karma, Christians call it generational curses or sins, but the healing methods I know that work on recovering addicts and abuse victims go deeper in the spirit. Even the secular methods for healing racism recognize the spiritual wounds carried from previous generations, such as genocide against Native Americans and blacks that manifests as anger and abuse in later generations not directly connected.

Why not study this before assuming that it's natural for people?
What if it is like alcoholic addiction or tendencies that is inherited and part of someone's makeup but it can be healed and not permanent?

Spiritual healing doesn't work. I have given you the studies. You just don't like it.

Simply because you feel that it is unnatural or unhealthy doesn't make it so.

 

[ChrisL]

No. It is not domestic violence. Domestic violence is non-consensual. There are no safe-words or set limits.

Like I said, just because a person finds a person who agrees to be abused, does not mean it is no longer abuse.

It's about consent. Simply because you have no knowledge of it, does not make it abuse.

It also requires a level of trust that many vanilla do not encounter once in their life time.


Once you get into the beating, it's about endorphins.

I disagree. It is glorified violence. Like I said, a lot of people who were abused as children confuse violence and abuse with affection and love. They are not healthy functioning people. Abusing them and calling it "sex" is wrong.

You're making the assumption that kinksters were abused as children. You have no data that supports this. None. It's high theater. They are not only healthy and functioning people there is an entire network nationally that supports kinksters, including attorneys. You just don't like it. That's fine.
The Kink Aware Professionals Directory

Ok Disir so similar with homosexuals and transgender who weren't all abused as children.

Why not conduct a study on spiritual healing, with voluntary participation by self-chosen subjects, and see how many of these people change their behavior or not?

Some of the healing goes into "generational" issues before their current family and environment, sort of like inheriting things genetically but this is either psychological or spiritual and not always genetically traceable.

Spiritual healing addresses those levels, too, not just immediate influences and relations
but unconscious patterns people may not know they carry from the past. Buddhists call this karma, Christians call it generational curses or sins, but the healing methods I know that work on recovering addicts and abuse victims go deeper in the spirit. Even the secular methods for healing racism recognize the spiritual wounds carried from previous generations, such as genocide against Native Americans and blacks that manifests as anger and abuse in later generations not directly connected.

Why not study this before assuming that it's natural for people?
What if it is like alcoholic addiction or tendencies that is inherited and part of someone's makeup but it can be healed and not permanent?

I, for one, do not think it is natural at all. To me, sex should be about pleasuring each other, not causing each other pain, welts and bruises. Lol. I prefer pleasurable sex that feels good.

 

[Disir]

I understand that. My point is that you are calling them fucked up, but if you went into a thread about gay marriage and called them fucked up , you would be crucified.

When I said that a person who thinks its okay to walk around naked in front of their children is fucked up , you went nuts

They ARE fucked up. They are. If you GET OFF on hurting other people, you are fucked up. Just to be clear, I use "you" in the general sense, not you personally. I always want to make that clear because some people will think I am referring to their person when I am not.

Have you ever bounced your strong opinions on this matter w/ anyone else. I doubt it because if you did, you might be surprised at the answers you got @ChrisL You are mislabelling certain practices as "abuse" to suit your preconceived agenda. End of story!!!

As I said before:

Not at all. Why don't you take a shot at my stabbing example. IF someone approaches you with a knife and says, I really get off on being stabbed in the hand, would you stab my hand? What kind of a person is going to agree to that? Answer, a messed up person who enjoys hurting others.

Knife play is a kink. It doesn't encompass actual stabbing. It's agreed upon before hand---no pun intended. You aren't going to find too many people, if at all, that would agree to that. You're missing that whole consent thingy. Further, there are those people that consider a crucifixion to be hawt (whatever). They don't actually crucify them---hence, high theater.

The person that would be doing the stabbing would be considered a pretty hard core sadist.

Why a sadist and not abusive? That is just semantics. For some reason, people think it is okay to hurt someone if that person says it is okay. I don't think that is okay. A person who enjoys inflicting pain . . . that's pretty messed up to me.

Consent. It's more than semantics.

It is ok to hurt someone when they give you consent. Chris, have you ever seen a checklist?

 

[ChrisL]

Like I said, just because a person finds a person who agrees to be abused, does not mean it is no longer abuse.

It's about consent. Simply because you have no knowledge of it, does not make it abuse.

It also requires a level of trust that many vanilla do not encounter once in their life time.


Once you get into the beating, it's about endorphins.

I disagree. It is glorified violence. Like I said, a lot of people who were abused as children confuse violence and abuse with affection and love. They are not healthy functioning people. Abusing them and calling it "sex" is wrong.

You're making the assumption that kinksters were abused as children. You have no data that supports this. None. It's high theater. They are not only healthy and functioning people there is an entire network nationally that supports kinksters, including attorneys. You just don't like it. That's fine.
The Kink Aware Professionals Directory

Ok Disir so similar with homosexuals and transgender who weren't all abused as children.

Why not conduct a study on spiritual healing, with voluntary participation by self-chosen subjects, and see how many of these people change their behavior or not?

Some of the healing goes into "generational" issues before their current family and environment, sort of like inheriting things genetically but this is either psychological or spiritual and not always genetically traceable.

Spiritual healing addresses those levels, too, not just immediate influences and relations
but unconscious patterns people may not know they carry from the past. Buddhists call this karma, Christians call it generational curses or sins, but the healing methods I know that work on recovering addicts and abuse victims go deeper in the spirit. Even the secular methods for healing racism recognize the spiritual wounds carried from previous generations, such as genocide against Native Americans and blacks that manifests as anger and abuse in later generations not directly connected.

Why not study this before assuming that it's natural for people?
What if it is like alcoholic addiction or tendencies that is inherited and part of someone's makeup but it can be healed and not permanent?

Spiritual healing doesn't work. I have given you the studies. You just don't like it.

Simply because you feel that it is unnatural or unhealthy doesn't make it so.

You think it is natural to want to hurt other people and call it sex? Or to be willing to be physically injured with bruises and wounds is normal and sexual?

 

[ChrisL]

They ARE fucked up. They are. If you GET OFF on hurting other people, you are fucked up. Just to be clear, I use "you" in the general sense, not you personally. I always want to make that clear because some people will think I am referring to their person when I am not.

Have you ever bounced your strong opinions on this matter w/ anyone else. I doubt it because if you did, you might be surprised at the answers you got @ChrisL You are mislabelling certain practices as "abuse" to suit your preconceived agenda. End of story!!!

As I said before:

Not at all. Why don't you take a shot at my stabbing example. IF someone approaches you with a knife and says, I really get off on being stabbed in the hand, would you stab my hand? What kind of a person is going to agree to that? Answer, a messed up person who enjoys hurting others.

Knife play is a kink. It doesn't encompass actual stabbing. It's agreed upon before hand---no pun intended. You aren't going to find too many people, if at all, that would agree to that. You're missing that whole consent thingy. Further, there are those people that consider a crucifixion to be hawt (whatever). They don't actually crucify them---hence, high theater.

The person that would be doing the stabbing would be considered a pretty hard core sadist.

Why a sadist and not abusive? That is just semantics. For some reason, people think it is okay to hurt someone if that person says it is okay. I don't think that is okay. A person who enjoys inflicting pain . . . that's pretty messed up to me.

Consent. It's more than semantics.

It is ok to hurt someone when they give you consent. Chris, have you ever seen a checklist?

No it is not okay to hurt someone with consent. Only a shitty person would take advantage of another in such a manner and enjoy it. This is why I say it is probably more a sick fetish than it is sex.

 

[ChrisL]

They ARE fucked up. They are. If you GET OFF on hurting other people, you are fucked up. Just to be clear, I use "you" in the general sense, not you personally. I always want to make that clear because some people will think I am referring to their person when I am not.

Have you ever bounced your strong opinions on this matter w/ anyone else. I doubt it because if you did, you might be surprised at the answers you got @ChrisL You are mislabelling certain practices as "abuse" to suit your preconceived agenda. End of story!!!

As I said before:

Not at all. Why don't you take a shot at my stabbing example. IF someone approaches you with a knife and says, I really get off on being stabbed in the hand, would you stab my hand? What kind of a person is going to agree to that? Answer, a messed up person who enjoys hurting others.

Knife play is a kink. It doesn't encompass actual stabbing. It's agreed upon before hand---no pun intended. You aren't going to find too many people, if at all, that would agree to that. You're missing that whole consent thingy. Further, there are those people that consider a crucifixion to be hawt (whatever). They don't actually crucify them---hence, high theater.

The person that would be doing the stabbing would be considered a pretty hard core sadist.

Why a sadist and not abusive? That is just semantics. For some reason, people think it is okay to hurt someone if that person says it is okay. I don't think that is okay. A person who enjoys inflicting pain . . . that's pretty messed up to me.

Consent. It's more than semantics.

It is ok to hurt someone when they give you consent. Chris, have you ever seen a checklist?

I think the person who wants to be hurt is just as messed up as the abuser, but in a different way.

 

[Disir]

Have you ever bounced your strong opinions on this matter w/ anyone else. I doubt it because if you did, you might be surprised at the answers you got @ChrisL You are mislabelling certain practices as "abuse" to suit your preconceived agenda. End of story!!!

As I said before:

Not at all. Why don't you take a shot at my stabbing example. IF someone approaches you with a knife and says, I really get off on being stabbed in the hand, would you stab my hand? What kind of a person is going to agree to that? Answer, a messed up person who enjoys hurting others.

Knife play is a kink. It doesn't encompass actual stabbing. It's agreed upon before hand---no pun intended. You aren't going to find too many people, if at all, that would agree to that. You're missing that whole consent thingy. Further, there are those people that consider a crucifixion to be hawt (whatever). They don't actually crucify them---hence, high theater.

The person that would be doing the stabbing would be considered a pretty hard core sadist.

Why a sadist and not abusive? That is just semantics. For some reason, people think it is okay to hurt someone if that person says it is okay. I don't think that is okay. A person who enjoys inflicting pain . . . that's pretty messed up to me.

Consent. It's more than semantics.

It is ok to hurt someone when they give you consent. Chris, have you ever seen a checklist?

No it is not okay to hurt someone with consent. Only a shitty person would take advantage of another in such a manner and enjoy it. This is why I say it is probably more a sick fetish than it is sex.

You ever seen a checklist?

 

[emilynghiem]

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

I'm pretty sure that BDSM isn't "domestic abuse."

I mean.... I haven't read the book, obviously. However, I was under the definite impression that everything in it was pretty clearly "consensual."

I disagree. I think a person who enjoys inflicting pain on others is an abusive person.

^ This is why I think we need to set ground rules on what is consent and what is abuse ^
not just personal relationships, but collectively in political decision making, if we
don't have the same standards as to what is coercion and what is informed consent, we are sunk.

Thanks ChrisL I find we are on the same page in spirit, and the finer points we can work out from there.
but it is IMPORTANT to recognize what is and what isn't fully informed consent. So glad you see this matters.
We can't just bulldoze over our differences and say too bad. This is a key point and our whole political future depends on it.

 

[Dot Com]

tl;dr

 

[ChrisL]

Not at all. Why don't you take a shot at my stabbing example. IF someone approaches you with a knife and says, I really get off on being stabbed in the hand, would you stab my hand? What kind of a person is going to agree to that? Answer, a messed up person who enjoys hurting others.

Knife play is a kink. It doesn't encompass actual stabbing. It's agreed upon before hand---no pun intended. You aren't going to find too many people, if at all, that would agree to that. You're missing that whole consent thingy. Further, there are those people that consider a crucifixion to be hawt (whatever). They don't actually crucify them---hence, high theater.

The person that would be doing the stabbing would be considered a pretty hard core sadist.

Why a sadist and not abusive? That is just semantics. For some reason, people think it is okay to hurt someone if that person says it is okay. I don't think that is okay. A person who enjoys inflicting pain . . . that's pretty messed up to me.

Consent. It's more than semantics.

It is ok to hurt someone when they give you consent. Chris, have you ever seen a checklist?

No it is not okay to hurt someone with consent. Only a shitty person would take advantage of another in such a manner and enjoy it. This is why I say it is probably more a sick fetish than it is sex.

You ever seen a checklist?

That is irrelevant to the discussion. A check list does not denote healthy individuals. Oh, it's okay to hurt me, but not this or this? Good Lord. It is not okay to hurt another person. If another person asks you to hurt them, you should be wary because that person is more than likely not playing with a full deck.

 

[Disir]

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

I'm pretty sure that BDSM isn't "domestic abuse."

I mean.... I haven't read the book, obviously. However, I was under the definite impression that everything in it was pretty clearly "consensual."

I disagree. I think a person who enjoys inflicting pain on others is an abusive person.

^ This is why I think we need to set ground rules on what is consent and what is abuse ^
not just personal relationships, but collectively in political decision making, if we
don't have the same standards as to what is coercion and what is informed consent, we are sunk.

Thanks ChrisL I find we are on the same page in spirit, and the finer points we can work out from there.
but it is IMPORTANT to recognize what is and what isn't fully informed consent. So glad you see this matters.
We can't just bulldoze over our differences and say too bad. This is a key point and our whole political future depends on it.

They already exist. Your help isn't needed.
BDSM vs Abuse

 

[Sgt_Gath]

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

I'm pretty sure that BDSM isn't "domestic abuse."

I mean.... I haven't read the book, obviously. However, I was under the definite impression that everything in it was pretty clearly "consensual."

I disagree. I think a person who enjoys inflicting pain on others is an abusive person.

Well, again though, what about the shades of grey (hehe ) in between?

Plenty of couples like inflicting very small amounts of pain on one another in a limited fashion that requires "dominance" on the part of one partner or another. There's spanking and anal sex, for example.

Some couples like the dominance aspect even if there is no real pain - like handcuffing someone to the bed so you can "have your way" with them. lol

It's not all abusive.

 

[ChrisL]

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

I'm pretty sure that BDSM isn't "domestic abuse."

I mean.... I haven't read the book, obviously. However, I was under the definite impression that everything in it was pretty clearly "consensual."

I disagree. I think a person who enjoys inflicting pain on others is an abusive person.

^ This is why I think we need to set ground rules on what is consent and what is abuse ^
not just personal relationships, but collectively in political decision making, if we
don't have the same standards as to what is coercion and what is informed consent, we are sunk.

Thanks ChrisL I find we are on the same page in spirit, and the finer points we can work out from there.
but it is IMPORTANT to recognize what is and what isn't fully informed consent. So glad you see this matters.
We can't just bulldoze over our differences and say too bad. This is a key point and our whole political future depends on it.

Right Emily. I'm not saying it should be illegal, just that I think it is really, REALLY messed up and that the individuals who partake in this activity of hurting or being hurt are probably not very emotionally or mentally stable individuals.

 

[ChrisL]

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

I'm pretty sure that BDSM isn't "domestic abuse."

I mean.... I haven't read the book, obviously. However, I was under the definite impression that everything in it was pretty clearly "consensual."

I disagree. I think a person who enjoys inflicting pain on others is an abusive person.

Well, again though, what about the shades of grey (hehe ) in between?

Plenty of couples like inflicting very small amounts of pain on one another in a limited fashion that requires "dominance" on the part of one partner or another. There's spanking and anal sex, for example.

Some couples like the dominance aspect even if there is no real pain - think handcuffing someone to the bed, for example.

It's not all abusive.

That is completely different than tying someone up and inflicting pain upon them, to the point where said person needs to use a "safe" word to stop them. A person who wishes to be abused in such a manner is probably a person who is best to be avoided, IMO.

 

[ChrisL]

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

I'm pretty sure that BDSM isn't "domestic abuse."

I mean.... I haven't read the book, obviously. However, I was under the definite impression that everything in it was pretty clearly "consensual."

I disagree. I think a person who enjoys inflicting pain on others is an abusive person.

^ This is why I think we need to set ground rules on what is consent and what is abuse ^
not just personal relationships, but collectively in political decision making, if we
don't have the same standards as to what is coercion and what is informed consent, we are sunk.

Thanks ChrisL I find we are on the same page in spirit, and the finer points we can work out from there.
but it is IMPORTANT to recognize what is and what isn't fully informed consent. So glad you see this matters.
We can't just bulldoze over our differences and say too bad. This is a key point and our whole political future depends on it.

They already exist. Your help isn't needed.
BDSM vs Abuse

Well, I disagree with the premise of your link. I think, no matter if a person asks you to abuse them, if you do it, you are an abuser.

 

[Sgt_Gath]

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

I'm pretty sure that BDSM isn't "domestic abuse."

I mean.... I haven't read the book, obviously. However, I was under the definite impression that everything in it was pretty clearly "consensual."

I disagree. I think a person who enjoys inflicting pain on others is an abusive person.

Well, again though, what about the shades of grey (hehe ) in between?

Plenty of couples like inflicting very small amounts of pain on one another in a limited fashion that requires "dominance" on the part of one partner or another. There's spanking and anal sex, for example.

Some couples like the dominance aspect even if there is no real pain - think handcuffing someone to the bed, for example.

It's not all abusive.

That is completely different than tying someone up and inflicting pain upon them, to the point where said person needs to use a "safe" word to stop them. A person who wishes to be abused in such a manner is probably a person who is best to be avoided, IMO.

Okay, so what about pleasure then?

Assume you let your guy handcuff you to a bed and put a blindfold on you, so he can go to town on you with a vibrator or something.

You both agree that he will stop if you say so ahead of time.

Is that "abusive" as well? The same general principles apply, after all.

 

[ChrisL]

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

I'm pretty sure that BDSM isn't "domestic abuse."

I mean.... I haven't read the book, obviously. However, I was under the definite impression that everything in it was pretty clearly "consensual."

I disagree. I think a person who enjoys inflicting pain on others is an abusive person.

Well, again though, what about the shades of grey (hehe ) in between?

Plenty of couples like inflicting very small amounts of pain on one another in a limited fashion that requires "dominance" on the part of one partner or another. There's spanking and anal sex, for example.

Some couples like the dominance aspect even if there is no real pain - think handcuffing someone to the bed, for example.

It's not all abusive.

That is completely different than tying someone up and inflicting pain upon them, to the point where said person needs to use a "safe" word to stop them. A person who wishes to be abused in such a manner is probably a person who is best to be avoided, IMO.

Okay, so what about pleasure then?

Assume you let your guy handcuff you to a bed and put a blindfold on you, so he can go to town on you with a vibrator or something.

You both agree that he will stop if you say so ahead of time.

Is that "abusive" as well? The same general principles apply, after all.

What? No, that is not abusive because that is not abuse. Abuse is hitting and hurting a person.

 

[ChrisL]

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

I'm pretty sure that BDSM isn't "domestic abuse."

I mean.... I haven't read the book, obviously. However, I was under the definite impression that everything in it was pretty clearly "consensual."

I disagree. I think a person who enjoys inflicting pain on others is an abusive person.

Well, again though, what about the shades of grey (hehe ) in between?

Plenty of couples like inflicting very small amounts of pain on one another in a limited fashion that requires "dominance" on the part of one partner or another. There's spanking and anal sex, for example.

Some couples like the dominance aspect even if there is no real pain - think handcuffing someone to the bed, for example.

It's not all abusive.

That is completely different than tying someone up and inflicting pain upon them, to the point where said person needs to use a "safe" word to stop them. A person who wishes to be abused in such a manner is probably a person who is best to be avoided, IMO.

Okay, so what about pleasure then?

Assume you let your guy handcuff you to a bed and put a blindfold on you, so he can go to town on you with a vibrator or something.

You both agree that he will stop if you say so ahead of time.

Is that "abusive" as well? The same general principles apply, after all.

What if a woman said to you, punch me in the face. I like it. Would you do it? I don't think you would. You would probably think she is crazy and avoid her.

 

[Disir]

Knife play is a kink. It doesn't encompass actual stabbing. It's agreed upon before hand---no pun intended. You aren't going to find too many people, if at all, that would agree to that. You're missing that whole consent thingy. Further, there are those people that consider a crucifixion to be hawt (whatever). They don't actually crucify them---hence, high theater.

The person that would be doing the stabbing would be considered a pretty hard core sadist.

Why a sadist and not abusive? That is just semantics. For some reason, people think it is okay to hurt someone if that person says it is okay. I don't think that is okay. A person who enjoys inflicting pain . . . that's pretty messed up to me.

Consent. It's more than semantics.

It is ok to hurt someone when they give you consent. Chris, have you ever seen a checklist?

No it is not okay to hurt someone with consent. Only a shitty person would take advantage of another in such a manner and enjoy it. This is why I say it is probably more a sick fetish than it is sex.

You ever seen a checklist?

That is irrelevant to the discussion. A check list does not denote healthy individuals. Oh, it's okay to hurt me, but not this or this? Good Lord. It is not okay to hurt another person. If another person asks you to hurt them, you should be wary because that person is more than likely not playing with a full deck.

It is absolutely relevant, in fact, it's imperative.

A checklist, which has often been used, simply states what you will and will not do and or might consider.
BDSM Checklist

It is pretty basic.

The play time is referred to as a scene. It is planned in advance. Very few people engage in 24/7 BDSM. It is limited in time and scope.

 

[Disir]

Fifty Shades of Grey premiere marred by protesters - Celebrity Buzz

Finally! I wasn't surprised by Christians protesting the film premiere as promoting unhealthy relations.

But these protestors hit home, protesting the "glamorization" of domestic violence
(while others claim the character wasn't coerced
but consented to the S&M as sexual exploration).

I was beginning to worry that most people were either hyping this up or brushing it off.
Glad to see some sign of intelligent response I can at least RELATE to.

============

The London premiere of raunchy movie Fifty Shades of Grey was marred by protest groups campaigning against domestic violence on Thursday night.

Members of the Fifty Shades is Domestic Violence campaign group descended on Leicester Square in the British capital armed with placards, balloons, T-shirts and a large banner to protest against the film’s portrayal of a kinky relationship while the stars Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan walked the grey carpet.

Other individuals held up placards to condemn the film for allegedly glamorising domestic violence, with one sign reading, “#BlueAboutGrey – because some Ana’s don’t survive their Christian’s (sic).”

Director Sam Taylor-Johnson addressed the calls of domestic violence to U.K. TV show Good Morning Britain, saying, “We took a very definite approach towards empowering Anastasia and she goes on a sexual exploration, but it’s one she goes on willingly and she consents throughout.”

Stars including Aaron Taylor-Johnson, author E.L. James, former Pussycat Doll Ashley Roberts and singer Jamelia also attended the premiere.

I'm pretty sure that BDSM isn't "domestic abuse."

I mean.... I haven't read the book, obviously. However, I was under the definite impression that everything in it was pretty clearly "consensual."

I disagree. I think a person who enjoys inflicting pain on others is an abusive person.

^ This is why I think we need to set ground rules on what is consent and what is abuse ^
not just personal relationships, but collectively in political decision making, if we
don't have the same standards as to what is coercion and what is informed consent, we are sunk.

Thanks ChrisL I find we are on the same page in spirit, and the finer points we can work out from there.
but it is IMPORTANT to recognize what is and what isn't fully informed consent. So glad you see this matters.
We can't just bulldoze over our differences and say too bad. This is a key point and our whole political future depends on it.

They already exist. Your help isn't needed.
BDSM vs Abuse

Well, I disagree with the premise of your link. I think, no matter if a person asks you to abuse them, if you do it, you are an abuser.

Your starting point is flawed. That is not my problem.