Random Movie Quotes

[tigerbob]

Hmmm, some have already been posted, some not, many I do agree with, some I don't. An interesting 3 minutes or so...

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[Truthspeaker]

Lloyd: Slippy, slappy...swenson...swanson?..Swanson?..................................Hah! SAMSONITE!. H'I was WAY off!..

~Dumb and Dumber

 

[GHook93]

Too Many Classic Lines for One Film!


Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

Guy in Bar: See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!


Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's...
Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.


Kim Jong Il: You are worthress, Arec Barrwin!


Spottswoode: Team, this is all my fault. I was overzealous in Cairo. I let racism cloud my judgment. I was so sure the ultimate terrorist was Middle Eastern, but I didn't realize he was a goddamn Gook. I'll never be a racist again.


Chris: [not moving] I was nineteen years old when the musical Cats came to our town.
[Gary stops and listens]
Chris: I couldn't wait to see it. After the show I was asked if I wanted to go meet some of the performers backstage. Man, I was thrilled. But when I got back there, they were drunk and out of control. Rumpus Cat and Macavity kept feeling up my leg. I tried to leave, but, Rumpleteazer held me down, and... I was raped by Mr. Mistoffelees.


song: ["End of an Act"] I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made Pearl Harbor. / I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that's an awful lot, girl. / And now, now you've gone away, And all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, He was terrible in that film. / I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, He's way better than Ben Affleck. / And now, all I can think about is your smile, and that shitty movie, too! Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? / I guess Pearl Harbor sucked, just a little bit more than I miss you


Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!
Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won't let me enter certain areas.
Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.
Kim Jong Il: Or else what?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.
Kim Jong Il: OK, Hans. I'll show you. Stand to your reft.
Hans Blix: [Moves to the left]
Kim Jong Il: A rittle more.
Hans Blix: [Moves to the left again]
Kim Jong Il: Good.
[Opens up trap, Hans falls in]


Chris: Surprise, cockfags!


Sean Penn: Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles


Alec Baldwin: By following the rules of the Film Actor's Guild, the world can become a better place; that handles dangerous people with talk, and reasoning; that, is the fag way. One day you'll all look at the world us actors created and say, "wow, good going, fag. You really made the world a better place, didntcha, fag?"

 

[Truthspeaker]

Joe: Yes...Would you please bring in some more of these delicious cookies.

~ Meet Joe Black

 

[GHook93]

Happy Gilmore:

Your going to miss this put Jackass!

The price is wrong bitch!

 

[Truthspeaker]

You had me at "hello".

~ Jerry Maguire

 

[GHook93]

You had me at "hello".

~ Jerry Maguire

If you are going to do Jerry Maguire how did you pick that one over:

SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!

 

[Truthspeaker]

You had me at "hello".

~ Jerry Maguire

If you are going to do Jerry Maguire how did you pick that one over:

SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!

silly me.

 

[Truthspeaker]

crazy steroided Asian martial arts dude from every Jean Claude Van Damme movie:

Now... I break you!.. Like I break your friend.

~ Bloodsport

 

[Truthspeaker]

Buck: Wait a second... Bug?... Gnat?... Is there a little similarity there?... I think there iiiiizzzzzzz!!

~ Uncle Buck

 

[Truthspeaker]

Lloyd: I DESPERATELY WANNA MAKE LOVE TO A SCHOOLBOY.....

~ Dumb and Dumber

 

[Nosmo King]

Hey! I'm walkin' here!

 

[Truthspeaker]

Buzz Lightyear: To infinite....AND BEYOND!

~Toy Story

 

[Truthspeaker]

Jerry: Help me... Help you!

~ Jerry Maguire

 

[Si modo]

I wish I could say something classy and inspirational, but that just wouldn't be our style: Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory lasts forever.



Shane Falco, The Replacements

 

[Truthspeaker]

Robbie: ...the mutants at table 9... sideburns lady.

~ The Wedding Singer

 

[Truthspeaker]

Splinter: I made a funny...ha ha ha ha.

~ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

 

[Nosmo King]

Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!

 

[Truthspeaker]

Sebastian:WHAT would heh faddah say?...I'll tell you what heh faddah'd say... He'd say he gonna keel heemself a CRAWB! dats what heh faddah'd say!

~ The Little Mermaid

 

[Truthspeaker]

Vader: I...am your father....

~ Empire Strikes Back