Sign: "Jesus Is Coming Soon"

[Douger]

I'll be glad when He gets here. This place is a mess.

I can send you a nice Nicaraguan girl to give you a hand until hE does.

 

[Douger]

Never mind. He caught a lift on Nibiru.
He'll be in shortly.

 

[Capstone]

Full disclosure: I'm a product of a Christian upbringing, though in all fairness it was one of the more kooky sects (complete with holy-rollers, tongue-speakers, and Ernest Angley-style healers).

With that out of the way, I have to say the fear-mongering doctrine (Straighten up and 'get right with God', Mister, before Jesus returns, or you'll be left behind to pay the consequences!) really had the opposite effect on me than the one intended by the pulpit-pounders (which included my Dad, BTW). I dunno, even as a kid, it just struck me as odd that this invisible God I kept hearing about and reading about (in the OT especially) was considered worthy of 'worship' and 'praise'. I mean, there was "HIS" track record in black and red ink, next to which the records of the worst-of-the-worst genocidal TYRANTS in the history of humanity paled in comparison; and I was supposed to set aside all reason and simply believe, OR ELSE!

In all seriousness, I kind of hope the God of the Bible does exist and eventually comes out of hiding, so I can stand before and reject HIM to HIS goddamned face.

 

[Ariux]

1. We shouldn't assume soon is by our time and not his time. Obviously soon by our time hasn't happened so what other conculsion is there for a believer? By past history of the 400 years the Israelites waited to be freed from slavery we can see it's probably ment on his time and not ours. God is not a man that he should lie.

"Soon" has never been used in the Bible to mean 2000 years, not even a 1000 years. You'd have a pretty tough argument to make a case of it ever meaning 200 years. And, in the NT, it never means more than a few days or years. You still insist that "soon" is meaningless. And, you refuse to understand what I'm telling you. JESUS DIDN'T SAY HE WOULD RETURN SOON in the Gospels! Those statements of soon come AFTER the Gospels, and are especially in Revelation. Why? Because even 40 years is not soon.

Jesus defined when, when the Temple is destroyed. Before His generation passes away. Before some people standing with him would taste death. The prophet Daniel gave the time table with 70 weeks of years. Stop approaching the Bible with your Evangelical prejudice and accept what it really says.

4. And Peter told you that it was ment only as a reference to Gods Patience and not how God percieves time. Why can't it be both?

"With the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you."

Jesus didn't say soon, but he said within a generation. Even though the generation had not passed, people were wondering what was taking so long. Peter explains that God isn't slow, but that he is patient. This has NOTHING do with what "soon" means. If anything, "patient" contradicts "soon", so Peter is explaining that Jesus didn't say soon.

 

[ABikerSailor]

Full disclosure: I'm a product of a Christian upbringing, though in all fairness it was one of the more kooky sects (complete with holy-rollers, tongue-speakers, and Ernest Angley-style healers).

With that out of the way, I have to say the fear-mongering doctrine (Straighten up and 'get right with God', Mister, before Jesus returns, or you'll be left behind to pay the consequences!) really had the opposite effect on me than the one intended by the pulpit-pounders (which included my Dad, BTW). I dunno, even as a kid, it just struck me as odd that this invisible God I kept hearing about and reading about (in the OT especially) was considered worthy of 'worship' and 'praise'. I mean, there was "HIS" track record in black and red ink, next to which the records of the worst-of-the-worst genocidal TYRANTS in the history of humanity paled in comparison; and I was supposed to set aside all reason and simply believe, OR ELSE!

In all seriousness, I kind of hope the God of the Bible does exist and eventually comes out of hiding, so I can stand before and reject HIM to HIS goddamned face.

Interestingly enough, those that preach of a vengeful God because of what is contained in the OT are wrong.

When God decided to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, He had come to that decision based on how the cities had been acting for a long time, as one of the rules was to treat strangers kindly, and that is what the actual sin of the cities were (NOT homosexuality). He even told Abraham that He was going to do it and allowed Abraham to bargain Him down from finding 50 righteous people down to only 10. That shows He's willing to listen, and on occasion, bargain with us.

Most of the stories where the Israelites were slaughtering other tribes? It's because those other tribes worshipped pagan idols, and God didn't want His Chosen (the Israelites) to get spiritually infected by pagan belief systems.

He also walked away from the Israelites when they disrespected Him by reducing the Ark to a mere relic, meaning they no longer respected Him, so He withdrew Himself and His protection, leaving the Israelites vulnerable to the other tribes. However, after they remembered who God was and they shouldn't take Him for granted, He returned to them.

Yeah........I get it.........a lot of "Christians" like to cherry pick the Bible to scare you into folowing what their interpretation of the Bible is, but most of 'em get it wrong.

 

[AmericanFirst]

Full disclosure: I'm a product of a Christian upbringing, though in all fairness it was one of the more kooky sects (complete with holy-rollers, tongue-speakers, and Ernest Angley-style healers).

With that out of the way, I have to say the fear-mongering doctrine (Straighten up and 'get right with God', Mister, before Jesus returns, or you'll be left behind to pay the consequences!) really had the opposite effect on me than the one intended by the pulpit-pounders (which included my Dad, BTW). I dunno, even as a kid, it just struck me as odd that this invisible God I kept hearing about and reading about (in the OT especially) was considered worthy of 'worship' and 'praise'. I mean, there was "HIS" track record in black and red ink, next to which the records of the worst-of-the-worst genocidal TYRANTS in the history of humanity paled in comparison; and I was supposed to set aside all reason and simply believe, OR ELSE!

In all seriousness, I kind of hope the God of the Bible does exist and eventually comes out of hiding, so I can stand before and reject HIM to HIS goddamned face.

Good luck.

 

[Toro]

There are Bibles in public school libraries.
Anyone can bring a Bible to a public school and pray to themselves all they want.
All day, everyday.
What you can not do is force your prayers on other students to recite.
Why do you want to force others to recite your prayers if your faith is so strong with your own religion?

You touched on the 1st Amendment of the Bill of Rights. Yeah there are Bibles in some school libraries if they haven't all been banned by now. The phrase "pray to themselves all they want" is interesting. They tried for a moment of silence in Va. public schools and the ACLU had a cow about it. The Bible is banned and kids can't even have Bible studies in a club on school grounds after school although witchcraft is freely displayed and practiced. Kids can't wear a Crucifix or any symbol of Christianity although schools have allowed muslem garb and forced kids to study the Koran.

Wrong and Wrong.
Wrong.
ACLU fights ORGANIZED mandated religous prayers given and promoted by the school.
Everytime a municipality or city passes street ordinances banning street preaching guess who always takes the cases and wins fighting for the rights of street preachers.
ACLU.
Who hired the ACLU to fight the state of Virgina to be able to incorporate their church?
Jerry Falwell.
I do not agree with a lot of what the ACLU does but they do more to protect religous freedom than the right wing kook fringe media ever tells.
An organized moment of silence is organized, banned.If the kids organized it during lunch it is okay.
Why do you folks want to force schools to have prayer?
Don't your kids get enough prayer at home, at night, on weekends and in church?
NOT the responsibility of mine to make sure your kids get to force government organized prayer anywhere.
My family's religous beliefs and convictions are so strong we do not need it.
Amazes me why anyone does.

In for the win.

 

[Ariux]

When God decided to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, He had come to that decision based on how the cities had been acting for a long time, as one of the rules was to treat strangers kindly, and that is what the actual sin of the cities were (NOT homosexuality).

You're full of shit. Homosexuality was a big part of the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah. And, when God had the Israelites slaughter the people on the "promised land", homosexuality was a specifically listed offense to justify the slaughter. "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death... you shall not follow the customs of the nation which I will drive out before you, for they did all these things, and therefore I hate them." This is where the phrase "God hates fags" comes from.

Yeah........I get it.........a lot of "Christians" like to cherry pick the Bible to scare you into folowing what their interpretation of the Bible is, but most of 'em get it wrong.

Starting with yourself.

 

[Gadawg73]

When God decided to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, He had come to that decision based on how the cities had been acting for a long time, as one of the rules was to treat strangers kindly, and that is what the actual sin of the cities were (NOT homosexuality).

You're full of shit. Homosexuality was a big part of the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah. And, when God had the Israelites slaughter the people on the "promised land", homosexuality was a specifically listed offense to justify the slaughter. "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death... you shall not follow the customs of the nation which I will drive out before you, for they did all these things, and therefore I hate them." This is where the phrase "God hates fags" comes from.

Yeah........I get it.........a lot of "Christians" like to cherry pick the Bible to scare you into folowing what their interpretation of the Bible is, but most of 'em get it wrong.

Starting with yourself.

When is the next hog sammich eatin folk slaughter?
Lord knows we have too many folk eating hog sammiches and shell fish and they just have to be slaughtered.
Chainsaws, burning stake or machine gun?
What time should we be there?

 

[koshergrl]

Cripes. What a piece of garbage you are.

 

[Dont Taz Me Bro]

You touched on the 1st Amendment of the Bill of Rights. Yeah there are Bibles in some school libraries if they haven't all been banned by now. The phrase "pray to themselves all they want" is interesting. They tried for a moment of silence in Va. public schools and the ACLU had a cow about it. The Bible is banned and kids can't even have Bible studies in a club on school grounds after school although witchcraft is freely displayed and practiced. Kids can't wear a Crucifix or any symbol of Christianity although schools have allowed muslem garb and forced kids to study the Koran.

Give me the name of a kid who has been thrown out of school for having a Bible in their backpack.

Give me the name of a kid who has been banned from wearing a crucifix at school.

 

[Ariux]

Give me the name of a kid who has been thrown out of school for having a Bible in their backpack.

Give me the name of a kid who has been banned from wearing a crucifix at school.

Maybe there's some hyperbole in what was said, but there's a number of court cases arising from schools suppressing the religious freedom of Christian students.

 

[Gadawg73]

Give me the name of a kid who has been thrown out of school for having a Bible in their backpack.

Give me the name of a kid who has been banned from wearing a crucifix at school.

Maybe there's some hyperbole in what was said, but there's a number of court cases arising from schools suppressing the religious freedom of Christian students.

There are a # of court cases arising out of thousands of frivolous cases.
NO ONE stops any kid anywhere in America from praying school.
All 3 of my kids did it and no one stopped them.
Of course there are those that want all the kids to be led in prayer by the government teachers.
As a strong Christian I would never want government employees leading my kids in prayer.
That is not what they are hired to do.

 

[koshergrl]

Please link proposed legislation that proposes school-led prayer.

 

[Gadawg73]

Please link proposed legislation that proposes school-led prayer.

Who said there was any?

 

[koshergrl]

Ok, link your support for this:

"Of course there are those that want all the kids to be led in prayer by the government teachers."

When you say "all the kids" I assumed you were implying there was legislation in the works. I should have known you're just spouting nonsense.

 

[Gadawg73]

Ok, link your support for this:

"Of course there are those that want all the kids to be led in prayer by the government teachers."

When you say "all the kids" I assumed you were implying there was legislation in the works. I should have known you're just spouting nonsense.

How long have you lived in the south?
Why do you think Ricky Santorum wins primaries here?
"We no longer have God in the schools and prayer is banned in school now" is what we hear all the time.
"Creationism needs to be taught with evolution"
If creationism is not government sponsored religion in school then what is?
Why do they want to give Christian led prayers at every and any event there is down here and fight about it every year? Friday night football games just to name one of dozens.
Stick to what you know best, whatever it may be because it sure as hell is not southern Christian born agains wanting to force their religion through government power.

 

[koshergrl]

I didn't read that. I see you don't have a link. Thanks.

 

[ABikerSailor]

When God decided to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, He had come to that decision based on how the cities had been acting for a long time, as one of the rules was to treat strangers kindly, and that is what the actual sin of the cities were (NOT homosexuality).

You're full of shit. Homosexuality was a big part of the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah. And, when God had the Israelites slaughter the people on the "promised land", homosexuality was a specifically listed offense to justify the slaughter. "If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death... you shall not follow the customs of the nation which I will drive out before you, for they did all these things, and therefore I hate them." This is where the phrase "God hates fags" comes from.

Yeah........I get it.........a lot of "Christians" like to cherry pick the Bible to scare you into folowing what their interpretation of the Bible is, but most of 'em get it wrong.

Starting with yourself.

Here's something from a scholar site called Sacred Texts Archive, which is a website dedicated to scholarly papers from many different theological belief systems. Here's what it says about that.................

The Sin of Sodom
Then there is the story of the destruction of the city of Sodom, (Genesis 18:16-19:29). Sodom has given its name to the now somewhat quaint-sounding term 'Sodomy', which originally meant a specific male homosexual sex act. Eventually it was expanded to mean any form of sexual expression which happened to be illegal, including things that married heterosexual couples do every day.

However, a close reading reveals the name to be a bit of a misnomer. To start off, Sodom is described simply as a 'wicked' place. Lot, Abraham's nephew, goes to live there to see if even one righteous person can be found there. The sexual theme starts when two disguised angels visit Lot. A mob, described as consisting of the men of the city, 'both young and old', attacks Lot's house and demands that Lot allow them to 'know' (in the language of the KJV) the two men. To 'know' is, of course, the famous KJV circumlocution for having sexual intercourse.

The next passage bears closer examination. Lot (Gen 19:8) asks the mob to 'do' his two virgin daughters instead, but not the two guests, 'for ... they came under the shadow of my roof.' The rest of the story is well-known: divine wrath ensues, the mob is blinded, the cities of the plain are destroyed by fire and brimstone while Lot and his family flee, Lot's wife is turned to a pillar of salt because she looks back, and only Lot and his daughters escape. In an often ignored coda to this story, Lot's daughters have incest with him by getting him intoxicated, (Gen 19:31), presumably to repopulate the country; a similar motif is found in the story of Noah. As in other Biblical narratives, even the heroes end up committing horrendous sins, driven by circumstances. But many ignore the entire context of the story in the rush to justify their own bigotry.

The sin of the city of Sodom was the originally considered to be the violation of the rights of Lot's guests. Defining the 'sin of Sodom' to be male homosexuality was a later interpretation, which was made by medieval Jewish and Christian writers, as a reaction to Pagan acceptance of homosexuality. Near Eastern hospitality, to this day, implies a responsibility to protect guests under one's roof. The fact that Lot was ready to make a huge sacrifice by offering up his virgin daughters to the mob instead of his guests underlines this.

There is abundant Haggadah, ancient Jewish folklore, which tells of the cruelty of Sodom to strangers, and their mistreatment of the poor and homeless. Among other stories, travelers are given gold but not food; when they starve to death, everything is stolen including the gold and the clothes off their backs, and their bodies are left to rot. One of Lot's unfortunate daughters is burned to death for the crime of giving a starving man food. Another woman who assists a poor man is smeared with honey and left to be stung to death by bees. Some of these stories are suffused with dark comedic twists. A poor man is assaulted and robbed. Eliezar, a servant of Abraham, is hit on the head when he intervenes. A judge rules that he must pay his assailant for medical treatment! (Bleeding was considered a surgical procedure). Eliezar then hits the judge on the head, drawing blood, and tells the judge to pay his fine. See Ginzburg's Legends of the Jews and Polano's The Talmud: Selections, for many more stories along the same lines. After reading these, I guarantee you'll be rooting for the Lord to rain down the brimstone on the cities of the plain...

There are also numerous Biblical passages warning about mistreating strangers, (with the story of Lot being implied), for instance this one in the NT: "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares." [Heb. 13:2]

Internet Sacred Text Archive Home

 

[koshergrl]

That's certainly *scholarly*, lol...

I think I'll check out this site. Meanwhile, please link the actual site from whence that quote came. You just linked to home. I would like to be able to review the whole submission and see who wrote it.