The Centurions

[Abishai100]

How has the media changed our perspective on activism since the days of Mark Antony?

Is Facebook the new Colosseum?


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Tom Cruise, arguably America's most popular movie-star, was bored with 'celebrity' lifestyle and wanted to make an impact on culture and politics. He began a media campaign endorsing the sort of religious pluralism free-speech values that were conducive to the democratic marketing of his cherished theosophical organization, the Church of Scientology. Cruise made incendiary as well as controversial statements such as, "If Americans want a capitalism-subjective President (Donald Trump), then they can embrace a market-savvy religion-marketing program (Dianetics)." The press was starting to call Cruise the first 'Celebrity Centurion.'

Ajay Satan, an Ivy League graduate and idealistic Internet-blogger, was writing posts on World Discussion Forum about the impact on global democracy made by Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses controversy. Ajay believed that modern media was a podium on which everyday citizens could express progressive ideas about the interaction between politics and mercantilism (e.g., European Union). Ajay was also a fan of Cruise's movies and was impressed by the celebrity's newfound social activism and political passions. Ajay's best friend, Ben Frank, was thinking of robbing a federal bank in NYC as a formal protest against the Trump Administration.

Cruise's ex-wife Katie Holmes went on a media campaign of her own, urging cinema fans not to dive into Cruise's pro-Scientology messages in the media. Holmes claimed Cruise was very obstinate and intolerant of her unwillingness to embrace Scientology and Dianetics. Cruise was infuriated and retorted, "I'm remarried now and to a woman who shares my passions in all levels of life!" Ajay found these comments to be very amusing, since they symbolized a new age social investment in 'lifestyle advertising.' "What is the boundary-line that separates egalitarianism and pornography?" Ajay asked himself. Meanwhile, Katie started posting on World Discussion Forum using an identity-masking alias/avatar 'Spider-Woman' (Marvel Comics) about how celebrities confound discussions about free-speech values.

Ben Frank had now robbed three banks, including a federal bank in NYC and delivered anonymous messages to the New Yorker such as, "My name is the Lone Ranger, and I intend to use these successful bank robberies to promote the notion that citizenry-engaged political protest is more important now than in the days of Bonnie and Clyde!" Ben was labelled in the press as a 'new age Robin Hood,' but the FBI considered him a rogue vigilante and a radical (and dangerous) crime-oriented terrorist. President Trump delivered a 'fireside chat' before the Super Bowl on CBS during which he said, "We notice the social and cultural impact of outspoken celebrities such as Tom Cruise on new age pluralism values and 'multiculturalism culture.' This is really the age of the Centurions, 'agents of capitalism' who have the power to use the media to promote decentralized governance!"

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[JakeStarkey]

Very good.

 

[Abishai100]

Orphan Metropolis?


I wonder how far in 'social securities' we've come since the days of Oliver Twist; and can modern entertainment truly be classified as 'sanity-friendly'?


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Bruce Wayne, Gotham City's prominent business/socialite and head of Wayne Industries, was concerned that the unchecked marketing of hardware and power-tools in hardware stores across the USA would inspire a juvenile offender to steal a chainsaw and commit 'copycat crimes' modelled after Leatherface (the fictional chainsaw-wielding cannibal from the iconic Texas Chainsaw Massacre cult-favorite horror film franchise). Bruce Wayne decided to become the 'night-vision' vigilante 'Batman' (dressed in a cape and bat-shaped mask and carrying a powerful gun equipped with an electric-stun feature and powerful blinding attached torch-lights). Batman roamed around America looking for crimes/murders involving heavy hardware/tools.

After some investigating some cross-country havoc involving a gang of 'road bandits' armed with Magnum pistols and cross-bows, Batman was able to deliver the evil gang to the FBI. However, Batman found personal excitement when he heard of a series of gruesome murders outside Dallas, Texas involving chainsaws, grave-robbing, and reports of sightings of a hideous man apparently wearing a mask made out of human-skin (just like Leatherface!). Batman realized this skin-mask wearing 'ghoul' was real (though there was no police evidence or photos/videos) and was the 'copycat-Leatherface' he was worried about for so long. Batman zoomed to Texas and started tracking this 'man-dragon.' One night, Batman heard sounds of a chainsaw coming from an abandoned barn near an old but large house right outside Dallas. Batman stormed into the barn, discovered 'Leatherface,' and blinded him with his torch-light before shooting his electric-stun gun and then tranquilizing him with a sedative before tying him up.

The Texas police were so grateful Batman apprehended 'Leatherface' who turned out to be a 25 year-old brute and college dropout whose failures at passing his team's steroid test drove him insane and compelled him to become a 'copycat-Leatherface.' Batman was requested to interview Leatherface personally about the motivation to wield a chainsaw and copy an American horror film avatar, and Batman agreed. The interview would change the way the police thought about treating psychosis in a way not seen since the days of The Untouchables in Chicago.

BATMAN: Why the chainsaw?
LEATHERFACE: I hate the world!
BATMAN: You have something against Home Depot?
LEATHERFACE: I hate capitalism?
BATMAN: You resent being caught for steroids?
LEATHERFACE: God will pay!
BATMAN: Were you trying to impress family at home?
LEATHERFACE: I have no family...
BATMAN: You have me...as a counselor...if you like.
LEATHERFACE: Alright.
BATMAN: I'll visit you every summer in this Institution for the Criminally Insane.
LEATHERFACE: Alright.
BATMAN: Maybe you can learn about Metropolis from CNN in the TV-room at the asylum.
LEATHERFACE: This is the age of centurions.
BATMAN: What do you mean? Rome fell...
LEATHERFACE: The media makes people untrustworthy...Are we all insane?

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Horror Comics (Wikipedia)

 

[Abishai100]

The Priest


This short-story was inspired by the American paramilitary fantasy-adventure franchise G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero (Hasbro/Marvel). It is meant to signify a modern-world fascination with 'pilgrimage schizophrenia.'


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Samuels the warrior (aka, 'Snake-Eyes') was the wily and valiant ninja-assassin of the heroic American paramilitary crusaders known as 'G.I. Joes.' The commander of the G.I. Joes, code-named 'Duke,' believed their nemesis, the evil terrorist organization Cobra, was going to strike Washington D.C. on Halloween Eve. Duke concluded that Cobra had established America's cultural orientation towards festivities regarding peaceful multiculturalism --- including the masquerade festival of Halloween when the ethnic identity of countless youngsters was 'hidden' under colorful and festival-celebratory masks and costumes. This is the sort of pedestrian democratic optimism that Cobra wanted to attack.

Duke ordered a special meeting of the G.I. Joes during which his closest advisors and co-leaders such as Flint, Shipwreck, Scarlett, and Snake-Eyes were told (by Duke) that since Cobra was striking at the 'heart of American pride,' the G.I. Joes would retaliate by dropping in on D.C. on Halloween wearing Halloween costumes/masks and strike fear into the terrorists with their more effective weaponry. Snake-Eyes was horrified and wrote in his diary, "Should we fight fire with fire like this?" Snake-Eyes went to Duke's quarters to speak with him and advised that 'fortifying' D.C. with G.I. Joes in Halloween masks would send the message that the tactics of terrorists and servicemen do not differ greatly.

When Duke explained that his orders were cemented, Snake-Eyes decided to leave G.I. Joe. He decided to go to Tahiti where he found a small Christian church where he could preach every Sunday about the value of peace and humility. Snake-Eyes now went by ordained named Father Samuels, and his sermons focused on the evil of terrorism, the tragedy of cynicism towards democracy in the modern world of networking-gauged politics (e.g., European Union, NATO, etc.), and the importance of embracing traditional values in this new age of technology-obsessed 'sophistication' (e.g., Facebook). Father Samuels' primary sermon regarded the special opportunity Christian priests and missionaries wielded in the 'new world' to use the pulpit of the media to advocate the tempered practices of abortion and divorce.

Lady Jaye, the special-operations female soldier of G.I. Joe decided to visit Father Samuels and tell him the good news that G.I. Joe was able to curb the Cobra invasion of D.C. on Halloween. She was startled to find her old friend ('Snake-Eyes') delivering a Sunday sermon at the Tahiti Church of Christ about the obligation that modern medical practitioners and policy-makers had in advocating the tempered practice of abortion. Lady Jaye was intrigued by the sermon but afterwards, she had to ask Samuels/Snake-Eyes why he left G.I. Joe to preach about the dangers of not educating society about the moral indulgence of abortion. Their conversation was very symbolic of modern world 'rhetoric.'

LADY JAYE: Why are you suddenly anti-abortion, Snake-Eyes?
SNAKE-EYES: My name is Father Samuels (now), and I'm only against the egregious use of abortion.
LADY JAYE: What do you mean?
SNAKE-EYES: We live in a world where young women start to think abortion may be a 'healthy' form of birth-control.
LADY JAYE: When is abortion ethical, in your opinion, Father Samuels?
SNAKE-EYES: It is when the mother is in danger due to pregnancy complications or can't conceive due to personal reasons.
LADY JAYE: So why did you leave G.I. Joe?
SNAKE-EYES: I was wary that Duke and the others were storming D.C. in Halloween masks, just to frighten Cobra.
LADY JAYE: We had to fight fire with fire...and it worked!
SNAKE-EYES: I'm glad it worked, Lady Jaye, but it wasn't my brand of tea, so I decided to become a priest.
LADY JAYE: Are you happy as a 'Christian crusader'?
SNAKE-EYES: Yes! How is G.I. Joe finding dealings with the new terrorist organization, ISIS?
LADY JAYE: It's going fine. ISIS is not as nearly as ugly as Cobra.
SNAKE-EYES: Is Cobra Commander dead.
LADY JAYE: Yes.
SNAKE-EYES: Maybe Facebook will save the world...

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[Abishai100]

Good News

Love (and Spring) is in the air, so let's cheer up this modernism-paranoia with a touch of 'sentimental color.'

Who doesn't like red? One of my favorite espionage-psychiatry films is The Man with One Red Shoe (Tom Hanks).

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GOD: Why did you become a vigilante?
JOB: I became 'Batman,' since I'm frustrated with urban crime.
GOD: Love conquers all.
JOB: I have two girlfriends --- Scarlet Witch and Carmen Sandiego.
GOD: Who are they?
JOB: One is a vigilante, and the other is an info-runner.
GOD: They sound clever.
JOB: They're 'complex' but my intellectual 'match.'
GOD: Will you marry both?
JOB: Yes, I might!
GOD: Do they like Facebook?
JOB: Doesn't everybody?
GOD: The AntiChrist will arrive on Earth.
JOB: I suppose such an evil-doer will tell me about my 'nemesis.'
GOD: Your nemesis is probably the 'Joker.'
JOB: Well, the Joker is an anti-industrialization terrorist.

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BATMAN:





SCARLET WITCH and CARMEN SANDIEGO:

 

[RetiredGySgt]

Funny I never saw any of Cruises supposed stuff.

 

[Abishai100]

Avatar

This is in honor of Mad-Libs, which makes me feel better about McDonald's.

Anyone see the film The Founder?



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SHIVA: I think I'll portray myself as Bob Saget (family-man actor of the American sitcom Full House!).
HANKS: Alright. I'll be Babe Ruth (iconic baseball-player).
BERENGER: I'll be Flint, the soldier-general of G.I. Joe (Hasbro/Marvel).
KRISHNA: I'll be RoboCop (cyborg policeman) from the film(s).

SHIVA: Bob Saget says, "Drink Parmalat and watch TV with your family."
HANKS: Babe Ruth says, "Get some fresh air."
BERENGER: Flint says, "Prevent Cobra from bombing D.C."
KRISHNA: RoboCop says, "All enemies of the state are terrorists."

SHIVA: Facebook is pro-humanity.
HANKS: It's built by 'pros.'
BERENGER: I'm hunting down the Baroness (the harlot of Babylon).
KRISHNA: My batteries...need batteries.

SHIVA: Hey Krishna/RoboCop...go to the garage!
HANKS: Kids love baseball.
BERENGER: There are so many baseball video games out there now.
KRISHNA: My vision is re-charging.

SHIVA: Bob Saget is having a garage sale...John Olerud Upper Deck rookie MLB cards for $100.
HANKS: That's a bargain!
BERENGER: All I can think of is the Baroness...the bad and the beautiful.
KRISHNA: There is unrest in Boston.

SHIVA: There's a lot of weird things in Boston, and Facebook might save the world.
HANKS: Cricket has gained in popularity.
BERENGER: Stick to baseball, Babe.
KRISHNA: Facebook hackers are the next threat.

SHIVA: I'd want my son to attend CalTech.
HANKS: Who wouldn't?
BERENGER: Cobra will strike and possibly kidnap the 'first lady.'
KRISHNA: You're obsessed with vigilantism!

SHIVA: I bet the AntiChrist will be some kind of 'consumerism centurion.'
HANKS: Yeah, the opposite of Ovaltine and the Energizer Bunny.
BERENGER: Hey, Babe, that's ahead of your time, but maybe Cobra's built a time-machine.
KRISHNA: Facebook is an addictive 'dream-device.'

SHIVA: There will soon be 'cyborg-girlfriends.'
HANKS: Or synthetic fertilization.
BERENGER: Genetic mutation weapons wielded by ISIS.
KRISHNA: The dark-green dollar...

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SHIVA (Bob Saget):

TOM HANKS (Babe Ruth):

TOM BERENGER (Flint):

KRISHNA (RoboCop):