They meet online, he said he was blonde, they have sex

How dya keep your eyes closed the whole time you're with someone?

If you ever saw me, you wouldn't ask that question because you would go out of your way to keep you eyes shut after the first glimpse of my awesome mofugliness.
 
Remember this, guys, when you lie about how long Mr. Winky is...some gal might just measure!
 

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