Who did stupid stuff after a loss?

[Gracie]

So....in 3 days it will be one solid year that Dennis passed. And in that year, I have done some really stupid shit, made some really bad decisions, and in general, have been a dumbfuck. After almost 40 years, I have to make decisions on my own without him saying "bad idea, hon". Latest dumb thing I did was buy a newer car. BIG mistake. I hated it after driving it 3 days. So I took it back but took at big hit at the price refunded. Even after I filled the damn gas tank. I think I put 5 miles on it before returning it. Dumb. Dumb dumb dumb.

So...do tell me some of the dumb shit you did while dealing with..well....life in general. Especially with a loss such as what I am dealing with. Make me feel better being a dumbfuck, will ya?

 

[Gracie]

Gadgetry. I HATE gadgetry. That car even had a heated steering wheel! Like, WTF? Heated seats, a thingy back camera for backing up, etc. Why the heck would I want to look at a camera to back up when I can look over each shoulder? I couldn't even figure out how to set the radio or turn on the heater. Had to consult the manual. Had DVD players in the back, and gadgetry out the wingwang that didn't mean squat to me. Oh, and flex fuel? I had to google that!

No no no. I am an old car kinda person. So I will stick with Goldie...who got me out of paradise and runs like a champ. She just needs a paint job cuz the paint is all peeled off from the fire and I don't want it to rust. Other than that, she is a great car. WHY I thought it a good idea to replace her is beyond my comprehension. But I have been kinda goofy in the brain for some time now, so......

 

[Gracie]

And...on top of that, I have been eyeballing a 22 rifle. I wonder what kind of gadgetry is on those now? AND..why the samhell would I want a 22 rifle anyway? See? I'm like a bouncing ball boinging around 4 walls doing stupid shit when not sleeping...which is often. Sleeping is escape. Sometimes. How long is this shit going to go on? Doc wanted to put me on antidepressants. My response? Oh hell no. I'll deal with it. But I'm not doing it very well, lol.

 

[Gracie]

Well alrighty then.

Time for a vacay. Y'all be good. Love youse.

 

[Confederate Soldier]

While technically I didn't "lose" anyone, I did move 639 miles away from my family, friends and pets to find work. I immediately found depression, alcohol, nicotine and workaholism. My job is taking a toll on me, but I'm advancing because I'm so hardheaded and thick skulled, I won't stop doing well and working overtime. On my days off, I immediately blow my paycheck buying my vices, along with expanding my material possessions (militaria), instead of buying a car, or finding a better situation.


Losing someone, or having everything you've ever known disappear in your life can really throw you for a loop.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

I have lost everything so many times I can't remember all of them. When my mom died, it could not have been at a worst time. I was in the middle of finals for my history degree AND in the middle of a terrible twisted trial. My professor said no make ups on the test and the Judge refused to pause the trial so I could go to my mother's funeral. I passed the tests and won the trial but it took everything I had. I mean everything.

I had given all that up and became a dog groomer when Glen died. The hospital called around 10am to tell me he was gone. I had a shop full of animals that really didn't care how I felt. How I felt was to just run away. I completed the day. I took all the money, walked out the door, locked it and ended up in the Nevada desert. Now that was stupid shit because in six months I was back.

By the way ALL cars are now equipped with backup cameras. I love it for parking.

 

[EvilCat Breath]

While technically I didn't "lose" anyone, I did move 639 miles away from my family, friends and pets to find work. I immediately found depression, alcohol, nicotine and workaholism. My job is taking a toll on me, but I'm advancing because I'm so hardheaded and thick skulled, I won't stop doing well and working overtime. On my days off, I immediately blow my paycheck buying my vices, along with expanding my material possessions (militaria), instead of buying a car, or finding a better situation.


Losing someone, or having everything you've ever known disappear in your life can really throw you for a loop.

When I was 12 years old, my parents packed up the car with whatever it would hold to drive from New York to California. I ended up with a change of clothes and some underwear. No playthings, keepsakes, nothing. My Brooklyn accent was so thick it was hard to understand me. So, yeah, I know what it's like to be in a strange place and can never go home. I missed winter and snow.

 

[shockedcanadian]

So....in 3 days it will be one solid year that Dennis passed. And in that year, I have done some really stupid shit, made some really bad decisions, and in general, have been a dumbfuck. After almost 40 years, I have to make decisions on my own without him saying "bad idea, hon". Latest dumb thing I did was buy a newer car. BIG mistake. I hated it after driving it 3 days. So I took it back but took at big hit at the price refunded. Even after I filled the damn gas tank. I think I put 5 miles on it before returning it. Dumb. Dumb dumb dumb.

So...do tell me some of the dumb shit you did while dealing with..well....life in general. Especially with a loss such as what I am dealing with. Make me feel better being a dumbfuck, will ya?

Thank you for sharing. Are you ab!e to emulate his voice when makiing a big decision to ask yourself out loud the questions or suggestions he might have provided if still here? My wife wss abruptly removed from my home, so many emotions are still fresh after a month. I havent done anything stupid as I was the responsible/pragmatic one in the marraige, but the adjustment and PTSD (of being xonstsntly abused) is real.

 

[Gracie]

I'm going to make a post in announcements. I am stupid again.

 

[1srelluc]

Endeavor To Persevere

When best-laid plans have fallen to waste
and frustration abounds in their former place,
when failure looms with doubts and fears
we must endeavor to persevere!

When dreams are shattered and hopes are dashed,
goals upon the shoals have crashed,
when gladness is but a memory dear
let us endeavor to persevere.

When sons and daughters from God rebel
and the paths they follow lead straight to hell
your fervent prayers God does not hear
pledge to endeavor to persevere.

When wracked with pain, our body worn,
youth is spent, don't be forlorn,
a better day is growing near
while we endeavor to persevere.

When all is lost, life’s' cupboard bear,
and seems like even God don't care,
His grace is sufficient in the trials and tears,
still we endeavor to persevere.

This present life is hard at best
but we must strive to complete the test
for our redemption draweth near
as we endeavor to persevere.

A restful home for us awaits,
we long to enter heaven's gates,
the promise of peace and never a tear
if we endeavor to persevere.

Christ Himself will take our hand
and guide us through this beautiful land,
the saints will tell us they're glad we're here
and that we endeavored to persevere!
George Wootton

 

[JustAnotherNut]

Gracie, quit beating yourself up for being human........we all make mistakes, we all do stupid stuff, that's life. Just make sure you learn from those mistakes to not repeat them.

No offense, but I'm not going to air my foibles but let's just say that after a loss.......it's complicated. We kind of behave like a bird let out of it's cage for the first time, flying to and fro in our confusion, trying to learn how to fly on our own. You'll be alright as long as you don't do anything to wind yourself up in jail or the morgue. Please don't.