Bill of No Rights

[ChemEngineer]

Bill of No Rights​

By State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, GA. (7-5-2006)


We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

Mod Edit: State Representative Mitchell Kaye did not originally pen this.

"Origins: Mitchell Kaye, a Georgia state representative from Marietta, is not the originator of the piece. The famed "Bill of No Rights" was written in 1993 by Lewis Napper,

a self-described amateur philosopher and from Mississippi who ran for a U.S. Senate seat in 2000 as a Libertarian."

Bill of No Rights

Did a Georgia state representative write the salty Bill of No Rights?

www.snopes.com

 

[Curried Goats]

Sounds like someone really triggered him!

 

[JLW]

Now if that were in the Babylon Bee that would be funny!

Of course with MAGAs one can’t tell the difference between their parodies and their platforms.

 

[Robert W]

All of the states need to pass that as law.

 

[hjmick]

Bill of No Rights​

By State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Cobb County, GA. (7-5-2006)


We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

Mitchell Kaye did not write this, loser. It was written in 1993 by Lewis Napper, a Libertarian from Mississippi.

LP News Online: October 2000: Campaign 2000: Senate candidate Lewis Napper is "Bill of No Rights" cyberhero

The Libertarian Party is committed to America's heritage of freedom: individual liberty and personal responsibility; a free-market economy of abundance and prosperity; a foreign policy of non-intervention, peace, and free trade.

web.archive.org

The Bill of No Rights

doc.cat-v.org

Bill of No Rights

chalcedon.edu

The Bill of NON-Rights — The Libertarian Enterprise

L. Neil Smith's The Libertarian Enterprise electronic magazine, Number 1,177, October 9, 2022 - The Bill of NON-Rights, by Lewis Napper

ncc-1776.org

Pretty lazy not attributing to its proper author.

 

[Synthaholic]

We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

Excuse me, but these aren't Liberals. Go to West Virginia White super poor households and you'll see that every one of them has a cellphone, a big TV, a decent, newer car than they should - I'm been driving a 2005 for 4 years and before that I was driving a 2004 since I bought it new in 2004, and I could afford to drive a newer car but why? Mine is low mileage, great shape. They can also apparently afford to buy Fentanyl. And they are solid right-wing conservatives who always vote Republican.

 

[John Edgar Slow Horses]

Is this for reals?

 

[dblack]

Now if that were in the Babylon Bee that would be funny!

Of course with MAGAs one can’t tell the difference between their parodies and their platforms.

It's not a parody. It's a clarification..

 

[John Edgar Slow Horses]

It's not a parody. It's a clarification..

OK.

 

[ChemEngineer]

Bill of No Rights​

Mod Edit: State Representative Mitchell Kaye did not originally pen this.

Bill of No Rights

Did a Georgia state representative write the salty Bill of No Rights?

www.snopes.com

My but everyone is deeply indebted to Mod for checking with Snopes. This changes EVERYTHING, right? Just tell us how.

It's the message that is important, not the messenger, Mod.

 

[Synthaholic]

It's not Liberals, it's poor people they are talking about. And poor people also want a smartphone, so they can look for jobs and stay connected to the world. And I've got a nice 50" Hisense TV out in my garage that I bought for $159.00 at Costco, in November. So these are tired, failed talking points about "big screen TVs". Republicans have nothing except their long-used talking points and culture wars and class warfare. They are going to get demolished in November.

 

[Robert W]

It's not Liberals, it's poor people they are talking about. And poor people also want a smartphone, so they can look for jobs and stay connected to the world. And I've got a nice 50" Hisense TV out in my garage that I bought for $159.00 at Costco, in November. So these are tired, failed talking points about "big screen TVs". Republicans have nothing except their long-used talking points and culture wars and class warfare. They are going to get demolished in November.

Join we former Democrats who spent time learning the truth!!!!!

 

[ChemEngineer]

Now if that were in the Babylon Bee that would be funny!

Of course with MAGAs one can’t tell the difference between their parodies and their platforms.

 

[Whodatsaywhodat.]

Excuse me, but these aren't Liberals. Go to West Virginia White super poor households and you'll see that every one of them has a cellphone, a big TV, a decent, newer car than they should - I'm been driving a 2005 for 4 years and before that I was driving a 2004 since I bought it new in 2004, and I could afford to drive a newer car but why? Mine is low mileage, great shape. They can also apparently afford to buy Fentanyl. And they are solid right-wing conservatives who always vote Republican.

Wow. You're stupid.