Dear Liberals: I Want a Divorce!

[ConservaDerrps]

We'll have plenty of money since we'll actually be able to fund science which will bring innovation.

Have fun being stuck in 1956!

Oh, and enjoy your new found lack of sexual reproductive freedom, and guaranteed health coverage. Sucks that you won't be able to get your yearly pap anymore since no insurance provider in Conservativeland will want to pay for them anymore, since they won't have to.

YAY INCREASE IN CERVICAL CANCER!!!

 

[Foxfyre]

Immigrants to Liberal America will be encouraged to bring their culture along. That way, we can enjoy more than boiled beef and Yorkshire pudding! We will have pizza and matzo ball soup and egg fu yung and pirogies. We will dance the hora and the flamenco and the waltz. Our music will ring with sounds of guitars and castanets and klezmer clarinets rather than just bagpipes and old moaning chants. None of that 'seamless integration' stuff here in the melting pot.

Labor here will be fairly represented and treated as an asset to companies. We will retain the items we originally brought to the party: the eight hour work day, the five day work week, paid sick time and a vacation. We believe that the worker is the backbone of society and the worker's family is the reason we do damn near everything. If we allow corporate executives to treat our workers like so much chattel, how can those workers ever expect to raise a healthy, happy family?

Isn't it grand to enjoy television and radio programming free of commercials and the restrictions those advertisers place on the programmers? So, thanks for the enlightening PBS and NPR. We will have commercial broadcasters, of course. But a thinking person's alternative is a welcome repast.

Here in Liberal America, we will not starve education at the expense of a few more shekels from those who can really afford it. Ignorance, as it turns out, is far more expensive than education. Raising smart, capable kids to take their place in society is a priority for us. And every child will have an opportunity at a great education. Merely educating those with means seems to perpetuate a divisive class in society. The haves and the have nots. I wonder what gems we would leave in the dust if we only educated those who could afford it?

There is a huge difference between enriching the whole with the cultures introduced into it and a demand that one's culture be accommodated by the whole. In Liberalland now, the latter is the case. In Conservativeland it will not be the case as we see that detrimental not only to the immigrants but to everybody else. So, immigrants who want to be Americans first will be welcomed. And no others. Other folks can always come to visit though.

For example, during many summers we have cultural weekend on the plaza in downtown Albuquerque. One week it might be Mexican, another week Spanish, another week Native American, another week Italian, another week Greek, another week Irish, etc. And we are treated to the traditional music, costumes, food, flags, and imagery of those particular heritages. But after we thoroughly enjoy being immersed in that, everybody goes back to being fully American with all the blended cultures included and enriching us all.

So it shall be in the Conservativeland I envision. But there will be no flag other than the American flag flying over our schools and city halls. And no language but English used to conduct government business. Whatever language anybody wants to use otherwise will be their business, but if they don't know English, they are going to have a really tough go of it. In fact, they can't become citizens without enough command of the language to read warning signs and directions and conduct simple business.

In Conservativeland education will not be indoctrination but an immersion in real and difficult courses isuch as history, English, geography, science, math, foreign languages, and the arts. The Federal government will be assigned the responsibility to gather statistics and data to make available to everybody so the schools will be able to prepare students for what they will need in college and can see how they stack up against other schools and the world in general. There will be no social promotions. There will be no federal funding and no federal mandates. Each state, or preferably each community and local citizens, parents, and school board, will determine what their schools will be and what their children will be taught.

In Conservativeland, our kids will again be the best educated in the world, and though funding will be necessary to accomplish that whether through organized local schools, parochial schools, private schools, or home schooling, but in Conservativeland we know that concept and attitude is far more necessary for real education than is throwing money at it and thinking that is all that is necessary.

 

[ConservaDerrps]

Hey, at least in Conservativeland we can finally see Hitler's dream race in action.

Only if we televise what's going on in leftist land.

Deeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppp.

 

[Foxfyre]

Of course Liberal America would insist on custody of NPR, PBS, Lincoln Center, Carnegie Hall, The Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, Preservation Hall in New Orleans and the Hollywood Bowl. Conservatives are welcome to keep Dollywood, Branson Missouri and we might even throw in Las Vegas to sweeten the deal.

While Conservative America would no doubt insist on being served exclusively by Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Fox News, we in Liberal America would like a subscription to those services for comic relief.

Please don't dodge the tolls we would impose on automobiles with Conservative America license plates as you tour through Liberal America. We insist on maintaining our infrastructure even if Conservative America remains steadfast in their belief that those particular tax dollars could be better spent paying for $700 Army hammers. I'm sure that shocks, struts and alignments will be booming service orders in Conservative America as the roads continue to deteriorate.

Oh, and we strictly enforce littering laws here. Sorry! Government has a role to play. How are those privatized efforts at keeping Conservative America clean working out?

Will Conservative America have access to ice flows? If not, please find a way to care for your senior citizens. We will keep Social Security. Please refrain from shipping your seniors here if they were not lucky enough to be a hedge fund manager during their working years.

Women workers here in Liberal America will enjoy being paid the same amount for the same wok. We anticipate a flood of working women once they realize that Conservative America would just as soon have them barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen than running any of the corporations there.

By the way, we welcome immigrants in Liberal America. Why? Because we all realize that we too were once immigrants. Not to be feared, demonized, terrorized or otherwise induced to 'self deport'. No authority can stop anyone who does not have distinctively Caucasian features and demand to 'see their papers'.

Of course we will concede PBS and NPR and any other communication and entertainment groups, processes, and facilities that cannot make it on their own without federal government subsidy. Your side enjoys paying taxes to support such things. Ours doesn't so that works out really well. Any programming that can attract the advertisers and meet minimum standards of decency will have free rein on our airways if they can persuade somebody to hire them or provide a time slot for them.

In Conservativeland, women will be paid what their work is worth just like the men will be paid what their work is worth and that will not be artificially manipulated in any way nor based on gender in any way. The free market, not unions and not politicians will determine what work is worth. Being a woman who has worked in such a system for more decades than most of you have been alive, and who has never been paid less than any man doing the same work, I know that is the fairest and most equitable and most profitable system for all. And it will help us provide full employment to our people. An entitlement mentality will not be cultivated nor encouraged in any form in Conservativeland.

But certainly Liberalland can finally have free rein to vote a living wage for every man, woman, and child in Liberalland because the amount of taxes necessary to do that has never been an issue for liberals. Ya'll have always liked taxes much more than we do so that too will work out great. You are welcome to Social Security, Medicaid, and Obamacare as they currently exist. In Conservativeland there will be no such federal programs, but the states will adopt whatever programs the people wish to have for those who cannot work. In Conservativeland, people will be taught from kindergarten on the importance of saving and wisely investing so that they will be able to weather a rainy day and will be able to enjoy a pleasant retirement when the time comes.

Immigrants will be welcome in Conservativeland too provided that they come in legally and want to be Americans including renouncing all loyalty to their former country and flag, learning the language, laws, and customs at their own expense, and are capable of seamlessly assimilating into the culture and being productive members of society and earning their own way as everybody else is expected to do. Conservatives have long supported such a concept. (I personally spent a lot of years teaching Constitution and English as a second language to new immigrants and swelled with pride when I was privileged to attend their swearing in ceremoniies as new citiizens.)

Once again you go Foxy.

I'll take Conserative land over Liveral land any day of the week.

Jeeze. Wonder what Liveralland will do when they have only their own money to use?/

I mean taking care of everyone and funding everything is gonna take loads of money.

They won't have everyone elses to spend. I see a rocky debt ridden road ahead for Liberalland. LOL

Well once the divorce is final, we will each find out won't we.

It will be interesting to see if Conservativeland becomes the evil, racist, slavemongering, hateful jackbooted thugland that the lbierals seem toi think it will be.

It will be interesting to see if Liberalland becomes the benevolent and perfect Utopia they are certain it will be if they can just get rid of all those horrible conservative notions.

It will be interesting to compare notes at the community picnic ten years or so on down the line.

I'm guessing there won't be a lot of folks remaining in Liberalland by that time as I think they will all have conceded that their system isn't working and they will be filing their applications to emigrate to Conservativeland; probably demanding that their governmen dissolve and begging us to reannex their territory.

But it sure would be interesting to find out.

 

[tjvh]

We'll have plenty of money since we'll actually be able to fund science which will bring innovation.

Have fun being stuck in 1956!

Oh, and enjoy your new found lack of sexual reproductive freedom, and guaranteed health coverage. Sucks that you won't be able to get your yearly pap anymore since no insurance provider in Conservativeland will want to pay for them anymore, since they won't have to.

YAY INCREASE IN CERVICAL CANCER!!!

Usually there is quite a large gap between initial funding, innovation, and ultimately profit... But don't let that pesky little economic fact curb your Liberal dreams.

 

[ConservaDerrps]

We'll have plenty of money since we'll actually be able to fund science which will bring innovation.

Have fun being stuck in 1956!

Oh, and enjoy your new found lack of sexual reproductive freedom, and guaranteed health coverage. Sucks that you won't be able to get your yearly pap anymore since no insurance provider in Conservativeland will want to pay for them anymore, since they won't have to.

YAY INCREASE IN CERVICAL CANCER!!!

Usually there is quite a large gap between initial funding, innovation, and ultimately profit... But don't let that pesky little economic fact curb your Liberal dreams.

You dumb mother fucker. We have Bill Gates and Warren Buffet. And the TED conference. Money ain't no thing, chicken wing.

But keep trying to school me on how this works, by all means.

 

[Foxfyre]

We'll have plenty of money since we'll actually be able to fund science which will bring innovation.

Have fun being stuck in 1956!

Oh, and enjoy your new found lack of sexual reproductive freedom, and guaranteed health coverage. Sucks that you won't be able to get your yearly pap anymore since no insurance provider in Conservativeland will want to pay for them anymore, since they won't have to.

YAY INCREASE IN CERVICAL CANCER!!!

Usually there is quite a large gap between initial funding, innovation, and ultimately profit... But don't let that pesky little economic fact curb your Liberal dreams.

Our friends in Liberalland simply can't conceive that anything will be accomplished or get done or be effective unless the federal government does it. They can't conceive of a healthcare system in which people actually pay for a pap smear when they need one. They won't believe that I got my pap smear routinely for years and years and happily wrote a check for each one because I hadn't reached the limit on the deductible on my insurance. Insurance that was affordable to just about anybody who worked for a living because it didn't pay for those things we could afford to pay out of pocket.

But that's okay. They can do it however they wish in Liberalland. The government can fund anything and everything that they think is great to have and if that requires taking in taxes the entire GDP and then some, oh well. At least nobody goes without anything. Nobody is required to be responsible for themselves. Utiopia. Perfection.

 

[Borillar]

Oh hell... Fine go ahead and divorce. Destroy the country our fathers died for. Since its a no fault divorce, we'll take half (even though it's mostly your fault and non conservatives outnumber cons 60/40 or more). We can divide along North / South lines just like the last time we went through this bullshit.

So, goodbye south. Take your corporate headquarters, and your warm weather, and your friendly people, and your willing wage slaves, and your non-union factories, and your Prairie Chapel Ranch, and your oil wells, and your pipelines, and your oil slicks, and your poisoned fisheries, and your sunshine, and your ah-ha music, and your fireworks stores, and your fine antebellum homes, and your stalwart Republican politics,and your Westboro Baptist Church, and your hurricanes, and your yee-haa disdain for all things intelligent or sophisticated, and be gone. Immediately base a government on Good Christian Values and an economy on trade with Singapore, China, Malaysia, and Korea. Become the Third World country that you so long to be. Live long and prosper.

Take your pestilent half of the United States, complete with its upper crust institutions of higher learning, and its NC research triangle, and its Atlanta New South whatever, and go off and start the fine Christian nation or nations you so deserve. I promise - no war this time.

A key facet of southern foreign policy, of course, would be the South’s relationship to the now-divided USA. In the “divorce” settlement, the North gets to keep America’s reputation and ethos – all that stuff about peace and democracy and helping people around the world, that belongs to us, not the South, because that is not what they stand for. World respect for the USA would go up; the South would be seen as a backward, armed, dangerous ignorant third-world country. Or countries. Any Southern leader who ever hoped to make a mark on the world stage would have only one option -- move north.

The South would insult the North and we would ignore them. The South would beg the North for help and we would ignore them. The South would try to export pot and meth to the North and we would seal the border.

The USA – the North – would thrive in the divorce. We would no longer be hampered by the expensive effort to prop up the South with federal welfare, southern politicians wouldn’t be polluting and impeding our political process, and we could make progress on climate change, health care, Guantanamo, Afghanistan, gays in the military, cleaning up Bush’s mess, and regulating Wall Street, without having to bash down the stone wall of McConnell, Bunning, Saxby Chambliss, Tom Coburn, Thad Cochran, Cornyn, Jim Demint, Lindsay Graham, Inhofe, Dick Shelby, and David Vitter.

Perhaps in the north the non-conservatives would split into Liberals and Blue Dogs; with the political world splitting up something Liberal 50 percent, Blue Dog 30 percent, Republican moderates 10 percent, America would take its long-overdue jump back to the center.

A huge demographic change would inevitably follow.

Millions of women would move from South to the USA up north, because the South will ban abortion; the women will bring their families too.

Blacks will move north, because they saw that census taker get lynched and they know who’s next on the list.

Hispanics will move north because they don’t want to be treated as an invading army or a species of pest.

Gays will move north because the north will repeal DOMA and allow gay marriage.

Liberals and moderates will move north so their voices can be heard.

Anybody who wants their kids to have a quality education and decent health care – move north.

Anybody who wants their rights protected by labor unions – move north.

And who would be ignorant enough to stay in the south?...Oh, why go there…?

 

[tjvh]

We'll have plenty of money since we'll actually be able to fund science which will bring innovation.

Have fun being stuck in 1956!

Oh, and enjoy your new found lack of sexual reproductive freedom, and guaranteed health coverage. Sucks that you won't be able to get your yearly pap anymore since no insurance provider in Conservativeland will want to pay for them anymore, since they won't have to.

YAY INCREASE IN CERVICAL CANCER!!!

Usually there is quite a large gap between initial funding, innovation, and ultimately profit... But don't let that pesky little economic fact curb your Liberal dreams.

You dumb mother fucker. We have Bill Gates and Warren Buffet. And the TED conference. Money ain't no thing, chicken wing.

But keep trying to school me on how this works, by all means.

I have no intention of schooling you on anything. Why would I waste my time educating ignorant morons like you who have nothing to offer society, except for your outstretched hand reaching into the wallets of others, and your potty mouth. Your life is nothing more than a thirty day wait for your next meager Government check, well you sit back and bitch about why someone else who worked hard, and succeeded has a better life than you do, and how UNFAIR it is. All the while the likes of Bill Gates, and Warren Buffet will never set foot in that neighborhood you call home... And will never know, or care a damn thing about you. On that note, I'm going for a Boat ride... I'll wave to you when I pass you by, as you're standing on the shore catching tonight's dinner... But Liberalism has done so well for you, hasn't it.

 

[Foxfyre]

We don't plan to destroy it, Borillar. We plan to restore all of the best that the Founders gave us--restore their visiion--restore self governance and recognition and appreciation of unalienable rights. I know that is over the head of the citizens who will choose Liberalland but that's okay. Such irreconciliable differences are what makes the divorce necessary so that everybody gets what they want. You guys can do it 180 degrees opposite of what the Founders intended. We'll do it their way. And at the community picnic, we'll compare notes and see who fared the best.

(You won't even have to look up the definition for Classical Liberalism which apparently none of you on the liberal side have done yet.)

 

[kwc57]

To date, every liberal who has commented takes the whole premise seriously and thinks Fox wants to literally split the country. To date, not a single liberal has understood it was an intellectual exercise meant to be fun. You guys will find it a lot more enjoyable if you pull the stick out of your collective asses and get in the spirit of the game.

 

[Claudette]

Yup. I think Conservativeland will be alive and rockin in 10 years.

Liberalland will be bankrupt.

When you have all the freeloaders and the illegals welcomed into your country you'll wanna make sure they have everything they need to live on.

Utopia is expensive as hell..

 

[Foxfyre]

To date, every liberal who has commented takes the whole premise seriously and thinks Fox wants to literally split the country. To date, not a single liberal has understood it was an intellectual exercise meant to be fun. You guys will find it a lot more enjoyable if you pull the stick out of your collective asses and get in the spirit of the game.

Well you have to exclude Nosmo from that group. He got it and is doing the exercise and, though he and I are not in agreement on most of this stuff, I appreciate him a lot and love him to pieces. This could have been a great exercise if a few of the others had also been able to get a clue and actually understand the concept.

Helll, rather than look up the definition of Classical Liberalism most are still whining that no such thng existed as I have defined it. How do you deal with that kind of ignorance?

 

[Claudette]

To date, every liberal who has commented takes the whole premise seriously and thinks Fox wants to literally split the country. To date, not a single liberal has understood it was an intellectual exercise meant to be fun. You guys will find it a lot more enjoyable if you pull the stick out of your collective asses and get in the spirit of the game.

Well you have to exclude Nosmo from that group. He got it and is doing the exercise and, though he and I are not in agreement on most of this stuff, I appreciate him a lot and love him to pieces. This could have been a great exercise if a few of the others had also been able to get a clue and actually understand the concept.

Helll, rather than look up the definition of Classical Liberalism most are still whining that no such thng existed as I have defined it. How do you deal with that kind of ignorance?

Your right. Nosmo got it. The rest of em don't have a clue.

Laughed through the whole thing. Thanks for a good laugh Foxy.

 

[Foxfyre]

Yup. I think Conservativeland will be alive and rockin in 10 years.

Liberalland will be bankrupt.

When you have all the freeloaders and the illegals welcomed into your country you'll wanna make sure they have everything they need to live on.

Utopia is expensive as hell..

But they don't think so Claudette. In Liberalland I suspect most of the people won't give much importance to individual rights or private property. The emphasis will be on everybody being assigned what they are to think and agree to. Everything belongs to everybody and the government should redistribute everything so nobody goes without. And if that requires taking the entire GDP plus some in taxes, that's okay. They will be able to be compassionate and fair to everybody so nobody goes without. They have no fear that a liberal government would not have their best interests at heart.

That seems to be their concept and they want no part of ours.

So we did fight one Revolutionary War when our differences with England were irreconcilable. And we fought one Civil war when our differences were again irreconcilable. We didn't enjoy either one much, and I think we have evolved to the point that we can now declare our differences to be irreconcilable and settle things in an amicable no fault divorce.

It doesn't have to be hateful or ugly. Everybody takes those things they do not wish to live without and we go our separate ways. Unfortunately, we are perfectly willing for Liberals to have all the notions and concepts they want. But they want theirs but don't seem to feel charitable in allowing us ours.

 

[Nosmo King]

To date, every liberal who has commented takes the whole premise seriously and thinks Fox wants to literally split the country. To date, not a single liberal has understood it was an intellectual exercise meant to be fun. You guys will find it a lot more enjoyable if you pull the stick out of your collective asses and get in the spirit of the game.

I beg your pardon? It's apparent that you have not read every post to date.

 

[ConservaDerrps]

Doesn't it have to be intelligent to be an intellectual exercise?

CLASSICAL LIBERALISM!
CLASSICAL LIBERALISM!

 

[Foxfyre]

To date, every liberal who has commented takes the whole premise seriously and thinks Fox wants to literally split the country. To date, not a single liberal has understood it was an intellectual exercise meant to be fun. You guys will find it a lot more enjoyable if you pull the stick out of your collective asses and get in the spirit of the game.

I beg your pardon? It's apparent that you have not read every post to date.

Yeah, he is mostly right but goofed a bit by including you with the clueless. You absolutely are not clueless. Actually I would like to keep you in Conservativeland to challenge us in our concepts so that we won't ever become too complacent or tunnel visioned. But I will understand if you prefer and choose Liberalland.

 

[Nosmo King]

To date, every liberal who has commented takes the whole premise seriously and thinks Fox wants to literally split the country. To date, not a single liberal has understood it was an intellectual exercise meant to be fun. You guys will find it a lot more enjoyable if you pull the stick out of your collective asses and get in the spirit of the game.

I beg your pardon? It's apparent that you have not read every post to date.

Yeah, he is mostly right but goofed a bit by including you with the clueless. You absolutely are not clueless. Actually I would like to keep you in Conservativeland to challenge us in our concepts so that we won't ever become too complacent or tunnel visioned. But I will understand if you prefer and choose Liberalland.

Ah! The Loyal Opposition! Can you guarantee my personal safety? I know that in Conservative America, damn near everyone will be packing heat! I don't need much. Just a safe warm house (Pimplebutt will do), an annual trip back to Liberal America so I can get some culture and great ethnic food, a reliable dog groomer for Daisy the Mutt and an annual stipend that will keep me comfortable in the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed.

 

[Uncensored2008]

Yup. I think Conservativeland will be alive and rockin in 10 years.

Liberalland will be bankrupt.

When you have all the freeloaders and the illegals welcomed into your country you'll wanna make sure they have everything they need to live on.

Utopia is expensive as hell..

We already have "Liberalland,"

We call it "North Korea."