Zone1 Divorce

Should you leave your spouse if you are bad?

  • Yes. Don’t make your spouse suffer.

    Votes: 1 16.7%
  • No. Make your spouse suffer.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Regular Yes

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Regular No

    Votes: 1 16.7%
  • Other: (describe your answer)

    Votes: 4 66.7%

  • Total voters
    6
  • Poll closed .

presonorek

Gold Member
Jun 7, 2015
7,528
1,149
140
Alabama
When someone feels they are a bad spouse should they leave their spouse? or are there better option?

What are the pros and cons of leaving your spouse? What are bad reasons to leave? What are good reasons to leave? What is the effect if you stay? If you leave?

I know at least one person has been in this situation. What can be expected to happen?
 
I am unsure what you are asking but I will try to respond.

When you should leave is when abuse is involved or you are cheating.

No one should any form abuse and once a cheater always a cheater.

Also many of you marry for lust and not for companionship and making yourself better.
 
A person recognizes that they are a bad or unworthy spouse. Hmmmm. Should they leave for the benefit of the innocent spouse or try to be a better spouse? Is that your question?

That pretty much was me. I was a terrible wife. I cheated constantly, was emotionally abusive and never offered any affection. I really felt sorry for my husband. He deserved to be happy. He wasn't a bad guy. I finally left him. All around, it must have been a nightmare of a marriage because neither of us ever did it again.

I had another life that I needed to lead.
 
I have only sex with one person other than my spouse and that was one time and years before I met her. I’d really like to have sex with another person or two or three or four or five. She says she has zero desire to have sex with anybody else. I feel this somehow makes me terrible.

I keep hearing from everybody that cheating is bad but isn’t it also bad to divorce just to obtain sexual freedom? It’s a hard world to navigate.

Why do I have a desire to have sex with other women? Am I defective?
 
I have only sex with one person other than my spouse and that was one time and years before I met her. I’d really like to have sex with another person or two or three or four or five. She says she has zero desire to have sex with anybody else. I feel this somehow makes me terrible.

I keep hearing from everybody that cheating is bad but isn’t it also bad to divorce just to obtain sexual freedom? It’s a hard world to navigate.

Why do I have a desire to have sex with other women? Am I defective?
There are lots of men who want to have sex with other women that doesn't make you defective. But if you are one of those guys and your wife is not into an "open marriage' or swinging with other couples, then you are probably stuck.
 
I have only sex with one person other than my spouse and that was one time and years before I met her. I’d really like to have sex with another person or two or three or four or five. She says she has zero desire to have sex with anybody else. I feel this somehow makes me terrible.

I keep hearing from everybody that cheating is bad but isn’t it also bad to divorce just to obtain sexual freedom? It’s a hard world to navigate.

Why do I have a desire to have sex with other women? Am I defective?
No, you are human.

Men usually desire other women or sexual partners and most women also feel the same thing.

Thank you for clarifying and your issue is lust and you should just understand most men have this issue.

Do not act on your desire because if you do then you will ruin your marriage.

Now if you feel you married the wrong person then it is best for you to search within and ask can you fix it and if not then my suggestion is to leave.
 
My hair was like that for less than 24 hours out of a 20 year marriage so I honestly don’t think that is a factor.
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When someone feels they are a bad spouse should they leave their spouse? or are there better option?

What are the pros and cons of leaving your spouse? What are bad reasons to leave? What are good reasons to leave? What is the effect if you stay? If you leave?

I know at least one person has been in this situation. What can be expected to happen?

So you want to leave your spouse to go bang some other women but are trying to spin it that woe is me, I can't be a good husband so for her own good, I will leave her.

Be honest. Does that about sum it up?

If so, you should own what you are going to do. Pretty much shipwreck your kids' lives because you want to bang other women. And no, I do not speak from experience. My husband and I have 28 happy years behind us this month. Thank God.

PS This is statistically not a good bet for you.

Indeed, divorce is associated with worse physical and mental health more strongly for men than for women (Robards 2012). These negative health effects are not trivial, men are more likely than women to develop suicidality after a separation (Kolves 2010). Women may actually experience some health benefits from breaking up. For example, when stable heterosexual couples are asked to sleep apart (not sharing the same bed or sleeping space), women’s quality of sleep is improved whereas men’s quality of sleep is reduced (Dittami et al 2007).

 

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