FBI Firearm Training Facility Replaces Paper Targets With Copies Of The Constitution

[Votto]

FBI Firearm Training Facility Replaces Paper Targets With Copies Of The Constitution
U.S.·Jun 20, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a completely innocuous and in no way unconcerning recent update, the FBI Training Facility for Firearms and Small Weaponry has replaced all of its paper targets with copies of the Constitution of the United States.

According to anonymous sources within the FBI, the move was instituted in an attempt "to help agents in training practice shooting against the opponent they will most likely engage against in the field."

"We just want our agents to receive training that will help develop them for future combat," said FBI Director Christopher Wray as an FBI team practiced shooting down various copies of the Constitution with a sniper rifle, minigun, and bazooka on the range right behind him. "No, no, of course, there's no reason to worry! Do we look like we would ever abuse our power or be in any way corrupt? Get out of town, my man! We're just looking to produce top-notch shooters who could violate the Constitution with a 9mm at any range from five to forty-five meters!"

While several Republican lawmakers and nearly 100% of US citizens who have found out about the training change have expressed concern about the new targets, the FBI has assured everyone that "it's actually okay, since the CIA has been doing this same thing for years."

At publishing time, the FBI had also added silhouettes of Donald Trump as targets on their live-fire range.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

FBI Firearm Training Facility Replaces Paper Targets With Copies Of The Constitution
U.S.·Jun 20, 2024 · BabylonBee.com
Click here to view this article with reduced ads.

View attachment 965048

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a completely innocuous and in no way unconcerning recent update, the FBI Training Facility for Firearms and Small Weaponry has replaced all of its paper targets with copies of the Constitution of the United States.

According to anonymous sources within the FBI, the move was instituted in an attempt "to help agents in training practice shooting against the opponent they will most likely engage against in the field."

"We just want our agents to receive training that will help develop them for future combat," said FBI Director Christopher Wray as an FBI team practiced shooting down various copies of the Constitution with a sniper rifle, minigun, and bazooka on the range right behind him. "No, no, of course, there's no reason to worry! Do we look like we would ever abuse our power or be in any way corrupt? Get out of town, my man! We're just looking to produce top-notch shooters who could violate the Constitution with a 9mm at any range from five to forty-five meters!"

While several Republican lawmakers and nearly 100% of US citizens who have found out about the training change have expressed concern about the new targets, the FBI has assured everyone that "it's actually okay, since the CIA has been doing this same thing for years."

At publishing time, the FBI had also added silhouettes of Donald Trump as targets on their live-fire range.

Why does every conservative attempt at humor or satire always come out looking like straight up butthurt or victim complaining?
Do conservatives even know a real joke when they're told it?

 

[lg325]

The American Flag,pics of grandmas in aprons and puppies as well?

 

[ThunderKiss1965]

Why does every conservative attempt at humor or satire always come out looking like straight up butthurt or victim complaining?
Do conservatives even know a real joke when they're told it?

Riiiiiight.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

Riiiiiight.
View attachment 965063

Ah, the Greatest Hits!