Come on now... writing about something that happened to you a few years ago is not the same as writing about events that you heard about which happened to someone else 50 years ago.
and yet that's an inaccurate depiction of the gospels.....in the case of John, he wrote about events he witnessed and his intent was to prove that Jesus was in fact God at a time when a heresy was denying his divinity.....Matthew was not an apostle, but he was among those who followed Jesus while he was alive....he wrote for those the apostles were preaching to in Jerusalem, those who were being shown that Jesus was the promised Messiah....Mark was an early missionary working with Paul who knew the apostles and transcribed their experiences while they were still alive...he wrote for the people Paul was preaching to in the Gentile community who had no previous knowledge of a Messiah......Luke, who also wrote the book of Acts, wanted to put down in an historically chronological order the events he experienced and heard the various apostles describe and discuss....the gospels aren't just something someone "heard about".....
I understand that you have your reasons for believing what you do. The forming of The Church is well documented by The Church.
The questionable circumstances under which The New Testament was started and The Church was birthed by Saul/Paul 30+ years after the alleged Resurrection of a dead Jesus is just one of the reasons that I question the reality of The God of Abraham, as described in The Torah, The New Testament and The Koran.
Our history is another reason for me to conclude that a God who cares for humanity simply does not exist.
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