Zone1 I've Reached That Point Where I Have To Place My Wife In A Assisted Living Facility Focusing On Memory Treatment

[mudwhistle]

do you have a dnr for her? a hard but necessary step

Not yet.

 

[mudwhistle]

she is a few years older than you...and its good you can drop by often...that makes the staff pay more attention

She's 18 years older.

 

[strollingbones]

okay that takes time to adjust to...needing one...there are just so many twists and turns..and the paperwork will just be hard at times

 

[mudwhistle]

okay that takes time to adjust to...needing one...there are just so many twists and turns..and the paperwork will just be hard at times

She's 85. I'm 67. Before this started she was having problems dealing with a bad hip. We got that taken care of but the pain-killers they gave her started this memory loss.

 

[Rambunctious]

LOL!!!!

That's what I've been doing, Bubba.

Is in home care an option?...

 

[strollingbones]

i will say this...my mother was all to hell...when i got her into a care unit...she improved...a good diet and regular check ups helped for a while...a short while

 

[strollingbones]

Is in home care an option?...

he has done that for 4 years...i dont want my husband burdened with that type of home care...

 

[strollingbones]

people push home care who have no idea of how much care one takes in this stage ...plus the symptoms can include violence...my mother attacked me on more than one occasion

 

[WinterBorn]

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

I am so sorry to hear this. My mother suffered from early alzheimers when she died in 1997. Memory issues are so hard on the patient, but are hell on the family & care-givers.

Just remember she is in there and treat her accordingly.

 

[mudwhistle]

Is in home care an option?...

Once you let the state into your home you have no privacy.
They can pull an inspection and tell you that you have to remove what they deem is a safety hazard or claim you own too many guns.
I don't want the state poking their noses into my business.

 

[Foxfyre]

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

It's going to cost me roughly $4000/mo to put my wife in a clean and safe facility so that she can live out her last years in an environment that is conducive for her health and mine.

Today I felt like I was gonna have a heart attack.

I think I've found a place about 3 miles away from my house. A place I've driven by often.

We'll see how everything turns out.....but I'm just about at the end of my rope.

So sorry. It is brutal when you have to have that kind of help but there are not sufficient funds to cover it. Check with your insurance carrier if you don't know whether you are covered for any of the expense. Also check with your state because some do have help with these kinds of situations. Also see if there are any private foundations or charities who might be able to help.

Prayers up.

 

[WinterBorn]

people push home care who have no idea of how much care one takes in this stage ...plus the symptoms can include violence...my mother attacked me on more than one occasion

Home care is great for some things. Basic mobility stuff etc. But there are situations that rapidly turn into Hell.

 

[BULLDOG]

She's 85. I'm 67. Before this started she was having problems dealing with a bad hip. We got that taken care of but the pain-killers they gave her started this memory loss.

Truly sorry to hear that. You and I seem to disagree on everything, but all that goes away when it comes to something like this. I wish you both well.

 

[mudwhistle]

people push home care who have no idea of how much care one takes in this stage ...plus the symptoms can include violence...my mother attacked me on more than one occasion

My wife threw a jar of pickled onions at me and nearly broke my foot today.
My foot swelled up.
I forgot to wear my steel toes.

 

[strollingbones]

sorry Rambunctious i am sensitive to the home care option....my mothers guardian ad lit um pushed that home care...after she attacked me....i would have lost my marriage...and basically a decade of my life...it was a mess even with her in a care unit...she escaped a couple of times...do not think cause they have memory problems they can figure shit out...

 

[skye]

My wife threw a jar of pickled onions at me and nearly broke my foot today.
My foot swelled up.
I forgot to wear my steel toes.

pickled onions?

dear Lord!

 

[WorldWatcher]

She's 85. I'm 67. Before this started she was having problems dealing with a bad hip. We got that taken care of but the pain-killers they gave her started this memory loss.

These are the times that left or right don't matter as we have to take care of family.

My MIL went though 15 years of Parkinson's and the medications promoted dementia and paranoia.

Love your wife, take care of her to keep her comfortable, but please - PLEASE - make sure you build a schedule that builds in some time for your mental health. You will be happier and provide better support to her.

Best.

WW

 

[BULLDOG]

pickled onions?

dear Lord!

Ex wife did that once. She didn't have dementia. She was just nuts.

 

[strollingbones]

mudd this may sound terrible but i hope she goes quickly for both of you ...i remember when mom died..everyone was so sorry...i am not a hypocrite...i was not sorry for her or me. I do miss her...your wife will fade away if she hasnt already and you may get a strange little person but you will get attached to her that way too..i joked about my smelly little alien but i miss her to this day...

 

[strollingbones]

and empathy seems to be one of first things they lose