Nobody Really Wants To Go To Heaven!

[Carla_Danger]

All of the people I know, that say they are going to heaven, won't like it once they get there. Once you get to heaven, you'll be given a set of wings, a halo, and a harp. The folks afraid of flying are not going to enjoy that. You will sit around on a cloud, singing church hymns, playing the harp all day long. There will be no TV, no good music, and no wine. There will be no racism.....you can't hate illegals in heaven, and you can't take your guns! Heaven will be a noisy, sexless, monotonous place. You will be sick of it in two days. At the end of the second day, you'll be begging to go to hell, where all your friends are, for one more good shagging.... Hell, the only socially acceptable place left to smoke.




Peace out!

Where on earth are you getting this nonsense? Cause it's not from the scriptures.

Sigh....

 

[Carla_Danger]

I've already taken out a lease in perpetuity for the tavern I'm going to set up on the Landing Between the 2nd and 3rd Circles of Hell. I'll have an infinite amount of customers from Lust and Gluttony!

What a relief! Someone remembered to bring their sense of humor!!!

 

[Carla_Danger]

In my heaven my mansion will be maintained by dozens of famous female actresses, musicians, and supermodels as they appeared at age 19. They will be wearing various amusing and enticing Halloween costumes and will desire all kinds of sexual perversion while going about their day. As the only man in the mansion I'll be forced to shrug my shoulders and comply.

Also there will be 24/7 all you can eat ribs and Jerry Garcia will stop by with a briefcase full of drugs every 45 minutes or so.

I wake up every morning in pug heaven!!!

 

[Jarlaxle]

Just remember...good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere!

-Jim Steinman

 

[Luddly Neddite]

If you meant this thread to be a joke you should have put a disclaimer "This is a joke thread."

Otherwise, it's hard to tell when people are saying that hell is more fun than heaven. It sounds like something the devil might whisper in your ear when you're tempted to do something you're not supposed to do.

Really? You couldn't tell that was supposed to be humorous? You need to get out and have some fun.

I don't believe in any devil. And there are no voices whispering in my ears.

Which is the reason you are telling people hell is fun and heaven is boring. You may not know who you're working for, but he knows about you.

Sounds scary.

Just check out who else will be there ...

Who would want to spend eternity listening to hate mongers like Pat Roberson, $arah Palin, Jimmy Swaggert, Jim and Tammy Fae and well, y'all know the other names.

No thanks.